It was back in 2005 when severe depression finally hit me, I think I wasn't really conscious about it but I was borderline suicidally. The first drug after ethanol I did was OTC dextromethorphan, a powerful dissociative, but I knew nothing about the matter..
But I've felt that strong energy it had. A lot of weird, disturbing (side) effects of course, trippy and psychedelic, but it was such a powerful antidepressant, flooding me with will to life, realizing the pure beauty of the nature, all the achievements of evolution and the science, ... so much for a depressed teenager. It came to my mind that it could make such a huge advance to give suicidal individuals something like that, letting them to rethink about life, instead of jailing them and sedating the hell out of with neuroleptics ...
And now we have the research on Ketamine as a novel, game-changing, rapid antidepressant for therapy resistant persons. That's so amazing!!
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Other related memory ....
The first trip is always like an initially blank page of paper. One can try to correct damaging connections done afterwards but it's harder than to go the good route from the beginning. Prohibition is responsible for much of the lasting disorders from drug consumption ... and I believe it's much more subtle than just the obvious delusions some poor individuals are suffering from.
I'm not really into psychedelics, because they are too powerful and unpredictable for me to take them alone (and I have yet to meet the person who I'd trust enough to accept him/her as a trip sitter). But dissociatives can be equally strong. I remember one of my very early DXM trips (around 500mg I think) when I listened to a psytrance album I didn't really know.. there was an appealing, soft but powerful voice telling me to just lest drift, not to have any more anxiety ... I thought it was on the disc, but it wasn't! I've been and still am suffering from severe, mostly socially related anxiety, but have been flying on a bliss of euphoria for at least two or three weeks after that trip.
Just recently read that the dissociative experience and hypnosis have much in common. This is such a fucking powerful energy one can mess with.. I'm glad it didn't go wrong for me (suspect that other, less intense but still lasting trip experiences had negative impacts though) but it could easily have.
But I've felt that strong energy it had. A lot of weird, disturbing (side) effects of course, trippy and psychedelic, but it was such a powerful antidepressant, flooding me with will to life, realizing the pure beauty of the nature, all the achievements of evolution and the science, ... so much for a depressed teenager. It came to my mind that it could make such a huge advance to give suicidal individuals something like that, letting them to rethink about life, instead of jailing them and sedating the hell out of with neuroleptics ...
And now we have the research on Ketamine as a novel, game-changing, rapid antidepressant for therapy resistant persons. That's so amazing!!
---
Other related memory ....
The first trip is always like an initially blank page of paper. One can try to correct damaging connections done afterwards but it's harder than to go the good route from the beginning. Prohibition is responsible for much of the lasting disorders from drug consumption ... and I believe it's much more subtle than just the obvious delusions some poor individuals are suffering from.
I'm not really into psychedelics, because they are too powerful and unpredictable for me to take them alone (and I have yet to meet the person who I'd trust enough to accept him/her as a trip sitter). But dissociatives can be equally strong. I remember one of my very early DXM trips (around 500mg I think) when I listened to a psytrance album I didn't really know.. there was an appealing, soft but powerful voice telling me to just lest drift, not to have any more anxiety ... I thought it was on the disc, but it wasn't! I've been and still am suffering from severe, mostly socially related anxiety, but have been flying on a bliss of euphoria for at least two or three weeks after that trip.
Just recently read that the dissociative experience and hypnosis have much in common. This is such a fucking powerful energy one can mess with.. I'm glad it didn't go wrong for me (suspect that other, less intense but still lasting trip experiences had negative impacts though) but it could easily have.