Treatment Meh…I’m sitting in the lobby waiting to be admitted

[Juicewrldfan]

I hate this shit. I hate giving up my freedom and being told when I can eat and smoke and shit. My therapist told me I need to go get stabilized because I been off my meds for about two weeks now. Idk why I can’t just restart my meds but here I am.

I’m just venting mainly and letting you all know I’ll be missing for a week or so.

I ain’t gonna lie I’m thinking about having them switch me to subs from methadone. I don’t like methadone just makes me sleepy.

Already down to 20ml and didn’t dose today. I wonder if they will dose me. Oh well doesn’t matter. Not why I’m here….

Alright well hopefully this is me putting the stims behind me and stay stable. Alright ya ll. Stay up.

 

[Painful One]

Hope you are doing better friend.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Hope you are doing better friend.

Thanks to you and everyone as well. They didn’t end up admitting me. It was really wierd because I told them I was having active homicidal ideations and it seems like they only care about suicidal ideations and it just so happens I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts but I was having homicidal thoughts and yet they said I didn’t meet the criteria.

It was so fucking weird man she kept asking me if I ever been beat up before like wtf? Those are the exact words she used. Like I didn’t realize she was trying to be funny until now or I’d have put her in her place. And that just means her place is not disrespecting me.

And the biggest thing that oisses me off about her is she asked me “ are you just messing with me or something “ like I didn’t actually have homicidal thoughts and I was just trying to scare her like what in the fuck do I look like driving 45 minutes out of ky way to go fuck with some social worker that is ugly as fuck let alone that.

Sorry that’s a little harsh but she didn’t admit me and I spiraled. Now I’m trying to bounce back from a relapse today I’m coming down froM a 4 or 5 day binge can’t remember.

So pissed because had I gotten my bipolar meds stabilized I may not have relapsed and burnt my new job which was a dream job by the way and my marriage down to the ground.


My therapist is likely pissed because my wife told her I relapsed and I have a contract I literally just agreed to the day before i relapsed with my therapist that I wouldn’t do drugs and would take my meds as prescribed for a year. So I think because I didn’t even make it a day she is going to be pissed

 

[kiely]

Thanks to you and everyone as well. They didn’t end up admitting me. It was really wierd because I told them I was having active homicidal ideations and it seems like they only care about suicidal ideations and it just so happens I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts but I was having homicidal thoughts and yet they said I didn’t meet the criteria.

It was so fucking weird man she kept asking me if I ever been beat up before like wtf? Those are the exact words she used. Like I didn’t realize she was trying to be funny until now or I’d have put her in her place. And that just means her place is not disrespecting me.

And the biggest thing that oisses me off about her is she asked me “ are you just messing with me or something “ like I didn’t actually have homicidal thoughts and I was just trying to scare her like what in the fuck do I look like driving 45 minutes out of ky way to go fuck with some social worker that is ugly as fuck let alone that.

Sorry that’s a little harsh but she didn’t admit me and I spiraled. Now I’m trying to bounce back from a relapse today I’m coming down froM a 4 or 5 day binge can’t remember.

So pissed because had I gotten my bipolar meds stabilized I may not have relapsed and burnt my new job which was a dream job by the way and my marriage down to the ground.


My therapist is likely pissed because my wife told her I relapsed and I have a contract I literally just agreed to the day before i relapsed with my therapist that I wouldn’t do drugs and would take my meds as prescribed for a year. So I think because I didn’t even make it a day she is going to be pissed

If you were beat up

Or if you beat someone else up ????


I am so sorry I cant quote

oh wait . . . I have an idea !!! no just one

 

[kiely]

Thanks to you and everyone as well. . . . . . . . . It was so fucking weird man she kept asking me if I ever been beat up before like wtf?

I had to back space all of the text out of there and I takes too much time.

I can't quote that well.

So I backspace to erase the text out of the box around the teXt that I just want to quote.


Omg it takes too long and I have to hold the back space key down for minutes at a time.

That's NOT right.

 

[kiely]

I am glad that you are better. You are so kind and patient. I hope everything works out for you well !!!!!!!


Big Hello's to you WELCOME BACK World !!!!

Juice Friend

I try to keep up.

You are just being social. I know. Me too.


I am glad you are feeling better about not going IN patient

K.

 

[kiely]

I read it wrong juice. I am sorry. I probably should go off line for a while.

I can't read right right now.

Maybe your therapist needs some sleep like me.

I'm so sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am glad to hear from you. I tried.

But I catch you on line and I just hope you are doing better. Sound alright !!!!!

Sorry I had read that so wrong again.

I AM A DUH

BUT that being said I am determined to Listen !!!!!!

 

[PtahTek]

. So I think because I didn’t even make it a day she is going to be pissed

Therapist may expect it.... I told mine about my fuck up and she acted like it was nothing new or strange and blew it off. So I did too. Haven't fucked up since. Been a while....
Anyway we all trying to figure everything out and today we are still here and I find this amazing in and of itself.
Well, sadly, not everyone. But I digress.
What keeps ya going, may I ask? Is it a commitment, hard ass, children, technology whatever...? Don't have to reply obv but it is the first post I see and got me curious and reassessing what keeps me above ground. Life long IMO I still do not know if I do I don't know it so may as well say be an unknown. I guess. Idk
Peace and hoping for harmony

 

[thatmf]

Therapy can be super helpful. But having a contract with your therapist like "I won't do xx again" is a bit shit. A proper therapist should be able to support you even if you have fucked up. Well, at least if you have a good therapeutic relationship. Hang in there, do what you can. Stay off the stims because all they do is mess things up for a lot of people, sadly.

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

Big hugs @Juicewrldfan