Well I been on the clinic twice at different times and now I get a script take home every day, dr, pill bottle, type script.
At the clinic, They never did shit unless you made a fuss about it, i was suppose to get my dose upped a couple times becuz it wasnt holding me. When you booting half a brick or more of dope every day you aint gonna be cool with 65 fuckn milligrams, u know? But every time u ask for the increase they get on some weird shit about it, make u take a piss test, all that.
to get your dose upped you had to get the dr to approve it, so your counselor had to put in a form and the Dr. only came 2 or so times a week, thursday was the last day he was there. So if i told my counselor bitch on wednesday morning that i needed the increase and she forgot which is wat happened, the form was not in by 9am on thurs, so the dr. didnt approve it , and i had to wait friday, saturday, sunday, til the next week to get it upped meanwhile i am feelin like shit the whole time. Got me real pissed. another time i wanted a increase the mutha fuckas never even submitted the increase form and lost it completely, after waitin 14 days of bein told "it will be upped tomorrow" i went in and bitched em out. I said I know that aint shit gonna happen in here unless i make a fuss about it and the nurse laughed and said to the director, "u hear that? Damn, she got our number, huh!" like it was some funny shit that they knew damn well aint nothing get done around there. They forget a paper, and im sufferin for weeks wanting to use becuz they too dumb to remember to bring the stupid ass paper to the next room.
Anyways , i got sick enough of the bullshit. Gettin off dope was about not havin to take a long drive every day to get good again. about not rushing as fast as i could to the spot cuz i needed my fix, about not sittin around waiting all over again. Those clinics, they got you by the balls and they fuckin know it. they got the power to make your life hell and all they gotta do is decide you "made a fuss in the wating area and disrespectd staff" and they dont dose u for the day or some shit....Its ridiculous....
Or how bout how at saturday they was only open from 8-10am, and my job which was a 45 minute drive away, started at 8:30. Now i aint gonna tell my boss im on meth, so w/ever, i had to deal with it and know that i would be late even if i got to the clinic on time, but i would get to the clinic some times at 7:20 am so i could be the first in and theres already 6 ppl ahead of me. Then, the bitch cunt ass weekend nurses who only worked saturdays so they didnt know none of us, they are too retarded to know wat to do when the computer system broke down.
So instead of just not using the computer, and takin each one of our cards and lookin up our file with all our info manually, they decide to NOT OPEN THE CLINIC DOORS til 8:25. becuz the computer was down. Not like you can just LOOK IN THE FILE to give us our doses and open , and have someone fix the computer while u do that, but just KEEP US LOCKED OUTSIDE IN THE FREEZIN RAIN....cuz yall too dumb to work a fuckin windows 98 computer.
And then when we finalyl get in the bitch goes "Oh , everybody here better thank betsey, she fixed the computer, if it wasnt for her you guys would be still out there!" Ill guarantee u that bitch didnt FIX shit cuz she was dumb as a rock, so im thinkin it prolly went more like this, and the bitch was like..."OH...Hey....Its THIS BUTTON that turns it on, not that one you been pushing!"
Then when i get inside the bitch tells me that i need to give a piss test, even tho i jjust gave one last week and have been clean for 3 of the tests i got in the past 1 and a half months so far. So i was like damn, you made me throw out my drink when i got here becuz "you cant have no outside drinks", and now you tellin me i have to piss, when i aint got to pee to begin with cuz my drinks in the trash, and i gotta be at work about 10 minutes ago, and you tellin me I got to give the pee test.
SO Im mad as hell and she says ima get half dosed if i refuse to give the sample. So im like OK bitch lets go, I wasnt dirty at all just late and knew this would make me even later. The bitch decides that she has to HAND WRITE all my information for the pee cup label, becuz "my name wasnt on the list of the tests that had to get done today, and all the ppl on the list have a label for teh cup that automatically gets printed out by the computer the morning they get randomly called for the test." So she starts writing SLOW AS FUCK, like i can purposely tell shes goin as slow as she can and i asked her a question and she goes "look now you made me loose my concentration and i have to start all over again!"
Tried to pee and couldnt, and she says she gonna half dose me for "refusing"......So i had to wait in there drinkin water forever til i could do the test, and got to work mad late.....
And it was shit like this all the damn time at that place....Makes me so mad to think about.....
The last straw was the day before thanksgiving when they was gonna eb closed for 3 days straight, for some god forsaken reason my alarm didnt go off at all that day, and i left with 45 minuts to get there. Now it takes 45 min on a good day and i can juuust make it there, but i always like to leave a hour to get there just incase....So i jumped in the car couldnt even find my shoes just ran out there and hauled ass to the clinic, of course i got stuck behind somebody doin 25mph for like half the trip and couldnt pass them cuz it was foggy as hell...then got stuck in one of them construction things.....And when i got to the clinic it was like 5 minutes past the closing time.
There was still somebody there, and he was just like, too bad, you just got to come nback in 3 days, cant help you, you shoulda got here on time. They jus told me to go fuck myself, miss three days of my dose and be sick as fuck, even tho they was STILL THERE!
So that day i said fuck yall, u really a waste of my time and hit up the dr i had heard was good w/addiction treatment....
I been havin a fucked up back for a long time, not "my back is fucked up, yea" like all theI hase dope heads and ppl be saying to get pills. I got actual damage to my spine and the last time i got anything diagnosed was years ago but even back then they could see that my discs was damaged and i had the spine of a much older person , I got whiplash in my back and neck in a bad car accident i got into that made all that worse, and since then its been about 2 and a half maybe 3 years and i been in a couple more accidents since then and shit has deteriorated alot. Now adays i get mad muscle spasms, nerve "zaps" that shoot all thru my back and down my leg sometimes, some kind of fucked up form of young-people arthritis and I aint gonna bore yall with the rest...But the point is....Even tho gettin pills is good, the pain aint, and havin pain dont make it "worth it" if you get meds becuz the meds is never actually enough, so you dont get "high" and you still live in pain.
But, im goin off topic..The point is i found a Dr who knew I was on the clinic, and knew i also was fucked up , and so he took the MMT dose I was on and put me on pain management.

So now I got a happy medium. Im on 90mg daily (I thought it would be enough, they dont go higher at this dr office but honestly it aint enough some days) but it beats lining up outside the clinic every morning....Another poster put it best when they said "like rats at the feeder"....SMH....
Some days I be takin like 12-13 of these bitches tho, but it never really makes that much of a difference from 90. I got a feeling that if i really wanted to feel a differentce i would have to double my dose prolly, but i aint tryin to do that and screw myself at the end of the month, so i stick with my routine for now.
Its also nice too, becuz un like the clinic u aint on that daily shit, and if you do decide you want to use once in a while you can wean down your dose for like a week beforehand to get your plasma levels low enough to break thru, and then not dose at all the day ur using so u can still actually feel it. at 90mg i would not be able to feel a 10 bag shot Im sure, but if i broke it down to like 20-30for a few days before and then skipped, Im sure I could get a nice lil high goin.
If you can find a Dr who will prescrible the meth to you, go for it. its a much better way to live. Unfortuantly, it will prolly have to be a shady doctor becuz most wont do it for MMT. But if you like me and you got a pain problem (if you got MRI's its even better, but my dr didnt care, hes a lil bit shady im startin to think) you can prob. get a script. It really depends. This doctor prolly writes scripts to ppl without injuries as well, but for me i like knowing that I got a legit condition and am covered by the law any way u slice it, u know? I mean I know damn well that i just happened to go from MMT to PM methadone, but I got both problems , addiction and pain so why not combine them into one script u know?
It sure as hell beats havin to act and live like you are still hooked on the fuckin diesel always runnin around and havin to answer to somebody else. All i gotta do is grab the pill bottle in the morning and thats a wrap. it really makes ur life feel more normal, less like you are a junkie and morel ike you just handlin your biz.