TL;DR at bottom
Me, Mary and Xannie have quite the history together. Mary had always been my bottom-down bitch, y'gnomesayin'? I mean, that bitch was there through thick and thin, up mountains and down valleys together type shit.When I was blown, she'd kick it with me and blow me down. We'd get the rotation perfect-- at first it was puff puff pass but it evolved into a "Ay money, I KNOW
you tryna smoke. Here you go sista"-type rotation
And then this bitch Xannie pop up on the scene about a decade after '93. She crept into the crew all laid-back sexy-like, like this was where she was s'posed to be and that bitch Mary can't say no different.
When I met li'l Xannie she was walking her younger, gangbangin' brother named Point5 down my street to a house he was bein' dropped off at. Xannie did her thing, got her brother in safe hands and started walking back up my street. I hollered at the chick, "EXCUSE ME MISSSSSSS! I don't know if you were aware, but me and a friend got a party goin' on in this house and was wonderin'-- nah, cutie, we was hopin' you could come and bless us with you presence."
Lil Xannie threw out that cute little cocked-to-the-side grin that I've come to love oh so so much and followed me back into the house where Mary was busy blowin down the whole time, with no fuckin' regard for the fact that it was my stash she was workin' down while I wasn't even around. It didn't matter, though, so I made the introduction.
Me: "MJ, I've got some company. This is--?"
Xannie:They call me Xanax, but you? Y'all can call me Xannie cuz I think I'ma be fuckin' with y'all a lot from now on
MJ liked Xannie's sexy ass cheery disposition and fell in love with the chick within about 15min of their introductions. The party resumes and I walked to the fridge to grab myself a beef. As I cracked the bottle open, Xannie pops out of fuckin' nowhere and tells me, "You know, I fucking
LOVE Blue Moon." Xanni leans in real close, almost licking my ears, and whispers, "Can I have one?"
I couldn't refuse the beautiful woman so I handed her mine and went to pick another up for myself. As we're walking out of the kitchen Xannie gives me a football and says, "Happy pills! You'll love 'em!"
My response: nomnomnomdrinkAbeernomnomnomnomnom
15min later
[Memory forgotten.
Roughly several hours go by.
Memory restored.]
7 hours later, Xannie's naked and screaming on my bed about her script bottle being shoved 3/4 of the way up her ass by my girl MJ. I help the bottle out her ass and go lookin' for the one I truly value above all others, that beautiful light-skinned MJ.
MJs nowhere to be found. I searched, I called, I cried out her name around the house... Bitch mysteriously up and dipped after goin' cheese, egg and ham on Xannie's anus with a script bottle during my Xannie-induced blackout. I keep lookin' to no avail, and when I return to the crib I notice she's gone with my stash, her stash, and my LAST MOTHER FUCKING ROLL-UP.
I walk downstairs, ready to kirk on Xannie for whatever happened between her and MJ during my blackout, only to realize how, by simply seeing this woman (Xannie), I legitimately calm down and release-- no, fuck that, I ERUPT all my stress out. So I take Xannie on as my new bottom-down bitch and was cool with it. For a while.
The bitch started tryna control me. "Take me here, take me there, oooo I LOVE Southern Comfort so you should buy me one for us to share." It got to the point where I ain't feel right takin' a walk down the street without my li'l Xannie by my side. I realized all this while in CVS with the girl looking for something she wanted, and so I decided to break it off. I told Xannie we were done, finito, and she just looked at me and smiled.
"Okay," she replied, "that's fine, but when the headaches come, little man, when the fullbody tremors make it so you can't even hold a pencil straight, honey, and when you realize that, without me, you can't go a single place without feeling socially inadaquate and inept despite your best efforts to meet people, and when you realize that, no matter how many people physically surround you at any given time, you are truly and utterly alone... well Sugar, I'm not gonna be here to pull you're sorry ass out the hole." That last sentence she said so matter-of-factly that it just made me want to punch the bitch right there in her football-shaped head's mouth, but I didn't. She giggled like a school girl, though, and walked into CVS.
So now I'm sittin' here in a bench, right outside CVS thinking over the words I'd just heard. They're worrying me, for real, because I knew the bitch was right. Right about everything. It made me want her back. I hop up and power-walk up the CVS parkin' lot but before I make it to the entrance I see my little Xanny arm-in-arm and hand-in-hand with some regular joe who had just picked up his script. Xannie was smiling per usual, and seemed completely oblivious to me and the conversation we'd held just five minutes prior. It seemed as if I didn't exist to her anymore, and deep inside I knew it held true. I still have yet to reconnect with my main woman Mary, she's always movin' from spot to spot and disconnecting phone numbers, and I think I may've forever lost her too.
TL;DR Sure, the combo's fun, but it's just not worth it.