Benzo's (with special emphasis on alprazolam) are my absolute favorite medicine and recreational drug. That said, the withdrawals are hell. The memory loss is terrible. The sense of, not invincibility but being able to handle any situation that comes your way, is good in small doses but dangerous and reckless when sustained for a long period of time.
When I'm on a binge, I'll go from not having any Xanax for months to suddenly having a 6+mg/day habit sustained for several weeks to months.
Don't get me wrong, those binges are fun. I love them to the fullest and savor every moment of my antianxiolytic high. However, it most definitely fucks with my head, during the binge and after. My advice on benzo abuse is a bit different than most users on here, and I think that's because I'm extremely biased when it comes to them (I think like an addict with these things, because I truthfully am one... even when my body hasn't seen a bar for a long time). I wouldn't say to abstain from them, I would say to use them sparingly and in safe environments. You might think you have your shit together, but then you blink after a bar and a half, wake up the next morning to find half your pill bottle gone, a football sized bruise on your hip and one to match it dead center on your back, 5 all night text message conversations with people you never talk to like that, your last rum and coke spilled on your legs and bed from where you were last holding it before you passed out, shake scattered everywhere in the room EXCEPT on the weed tray somehow, and evidence showing that you totally smoked half a blunt in your parents house last night when you know damn well they'd call the police and throw you out if they ever caught wind of that shit-- and that's only on the nights you stay in.
And, as sad as it sounds, reliving that common occurrence by writing it above only made me want to go grab a script's worth of pills and fast forward to next month. Eh....
Anyways, I still stand by my weed + benzo's choice. Just keep alcohol out of the mix unless you like spontaneous legal, relationship, and personal issues sprouting up around you that you won't ever remember the cause of.
