Bold and
Italics to help you get an idea of my post without having to read it all.
Ok, hi all
I'm back. I've cleaned up my act with all the other drugs, so now weed has hit the list.
I'm going to have trouble quitting becauseusually I'm stoned when I'm at home on my bed, and that is where I spend a lot of time, watching TV or on the computer because that is where the bf is as well, gaming or working. And often I will use it when I'm stressed, to help me sleep or I have a horrible migraine headache I can't get over and think about the pain constantly. It takes my mind off it. So I do also
use it medicinally as well as for recreation.
I need to stop because I'm going to school and I'll be looking for a "professional" job soon, not that everywhere else doesn't
drug test. But the stress of messing up trying to fake a drug test is too much, not to mention I could
ruin some opportunities if I mess it up. I'd rather just know.
(ok, strange analogy but its like wondering if your pregnant but not knowing for sure kind of stress, that is the only thing I can relate it too, perhaps it is the
impact positive or negative that might have on your life relating to what you want).
I should be working harder on finishing with school, stats and computer program homework. That is what I SHOULD be doing if I was working 100% towards my goals...with cleaning and home improvement on the side...
But I'm a stoner, I don't really want to do those things, nor really have the motivation to do them. My motivation is to be stoned and MAYBE do them.
I know what I SHOULD be doing and how I get there but how do I get the MOTIVATION to go so over the MOTIVATION to go get stoned. "Keep your eyes on the prize, isn't really working with this serious case of
senoritis I have right now.
My plan is to quit on the 1st of September, continue smoking until then, but Wed quit cold turkey.
Seroquel to help me sleep, and Kpins for anxiety...they are legal and scripted to me so, it doesn't matter if I take them. They are
tools, I should maybe use them if I want or need to.
My concerns are my
habituation and "craving" but its all mental, which actually its always been the
mental and not physical that got me with drugs. Also, I have an
special occasion to do something I really love doing stoned coming up on the 18th, I'm going to try not to cheat, with just a hit or 2.