Hey people, reviving this for a little self-indulgence...I've looked through a lot of the thread but it got to the tl;dr point, did find some helpful things though.
It's mostly reassuring to know that this isn't just some freak occurrence and I'm not totally losing my shit, though. I don't know anyone else personally who has had issues with weed triggering anxiety, but that's what the internet is for, right? I'm going to vent a little and share my own story, even if I don't get a huge response.
What I don't understand is where this came from, in my case. I'm 19 now, and didn't even smoke for my first time until midway through my junior year of high school. I didn't begin smoking regularly till the last half of my senior year - I've been a straight A student and got a full scholarship to college. At that point it was a little personal bowl, not quite every night, maybe 4 or 5 hits. I didn't do any other drugs until I got to college, a little over a year ago. Then I tried ecstasy maybe 3 times, and acid once during my first semester...and that's when my social anxiety started developing. My new friends were all awesome stoner kids, but for some reason I felt myself becoming really self-conscious and paranoid that I was talking too much or saying stupid things, so I became afraid to interact when I got high with them. Then I started getting panic attacks, where my heart was racing and I would get tingling or pain in my arms, one time during a car ride coming back to campus from a smoke trip I convinced myself that I was dying but I was totally frozen and couldn't say anything so I just rode it out.
My second semester at school, I wound up getting really heavily into e for about 3 or 4 months, until that no longer got me high anymore, and messed around with coke occasionally for a couple months over the summer. Out of my 3 acid trips, 2 were really stressful/unnerving but not full-blown bad trips...and one was an incredibly beautiful experience. I always thought that maybe my anxiety issues started after the first acid trip, because that's the only thing I could think to correlate that happened around the same time as the anxiety started, but it was honestly a pretty unremarkable trip that didn't freak me out or anything so in the end I doubt it was the catalyst. A couple of months ago I was a victim of domestic abuse, was hospitalized, had major surgery, and now I've got 5 titanium plates in my face to fix the broken bones (thankfully people say they would never guess from looking at me)...now I'm dealing with mild PTSD and coming out of a couple months of depression. So none of that has exactly helped.
I never had a huge problem when smoking alone, so as soon as I start my job and have some extra cash I might give that a shot. The last time I smoked with a couple old friends about a month ago, I sat there clammed up in her living room having a panic attack.So it hasn't gone away yet. Has anyone experienced these anxiety issues being completely resolved, or been able to work through them over time so that smoking becomes normal and enjoyable again? I guess I just want to know if I have any chance of "fixing" myself. I was on vicodin for a good 2 months after surgery but now I'm off that and all the harder drugs as well. Planning to lay off the coke for good, maybe try acid or shrooms a couple times yearly if that, and bring the ecstasy use down to that level as well (if it even works after I give myself this 6 month break).
Well that's my saga I guess .__. sorry I write so much but it would be really nice if someone actually reads this. Also...hi bluelight c: first post!