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H&R Moderators: streaM Freak
Medley of drugs/frustration and confusion
- Thread starter Ozekat
- Start date
Yeah, I'm confused too. lol.
I want to be off opiates. Thats my priority. I'm starting to get burned out on the weed too, its just boring getting stoned everyday. And I hate alcohol I want to cut that out completely.
I've been having these really disturbing waking moments lately too.
I want to be off opiates. Thats my priority. I'm starting to get burned out on the weed too, its just boring getting stoned everyday. And I hate alcohol I want to cut that out completely.
I've been having these really disturbing waking moments lately too.
Wow. Well I fell off the wagon big time, but now I can see more clearly.
Thank you shrooms and nam myoho renge kyo.
I have discovered some gems. Liquor is the devil, beer is not so bad, lots of cocaine and liquor is DANGEROUS, and heroin kills.
In my city almost 30 people have ODed from heroin alone since the beginning of 2013.....wow drugs are really fucking stupid.
I feel happy for the first time in many weeks.......living in the shadows is not for me anymore.
I'm back on the wagon, and this time I am happy to be sober.
And if there are people who care about you, don't ignore their calls and continue to hide in the shadows......they want to see you shine, I am lucky to have a network of support that I was willingly throwing away for drugs before......I was a mess, and thanks to shrooms I am taking good care of my body.....you can only push it so far, and then your body gives out.
I'm just relieved. And my bday is in 2 days! I'm happy. Time to get a job!
Thank you shrooms and nam myoho renge kyo.
I have discovered some gems. Liquor is the devil, beer is not so bad, lots of cocaine and liquor is DANGEROUS, and heroin kills.
In my city almost 30 people have ODed from heroin alone since the beginning of 2013.....wow drugs are really fucking stupid.
I feel happy for the first time in many weeks.......living in the shadows is not for me anymore.
I'm back on the wagon, and this time I am happy to be sober.
And if there are people who care about you, don't ignore their calls and continue to hide in the shadows......they want to see you shine, I am lucky to have a network of support that I was willingly throwing away for drugs before......I was a mess, and thanks to shrooms I am taking good care of my body.....you can only push it so far, and then your body gives out.
I'm just relieved. And my bday is in 2 days! I'm happy. Time to get a job!
you can have mine if you want oz.. working five twelve hour shifts in a row this week followed by an eight on saturday.. I insist you take it sir... wait fuck the eight on saturday.. they are crazy in the head..
edit write down how you feel about drugs now so when your propensity for the hard stuff changes your iron clad mind you can read it and hopefully change it back.. IMO the mixture of cocain and booze to form cocaethylene is the most addction drug on earth... or possible my favorite doc.
luckygirl79
Bluelighter
When I was first using H like 15 years ago, I had HORRIFIC lung problems. I snorted it and it irritated the hell out of my lungs. I actually wound up hospitalized quite 3 or 4 times because of it. I had pneumonia, asthma bronchitis. It sucked. Then my mom (I know) had the bright idea, being an RN (I know!!) that if I IV'd it it would be far better on my lungs. It was but I didn't last long doing that before I had to fly my white flag and surrender to a Methodone maintenance program. Thinking back... I was only 18. Damn. Fucking chaos. I'm beyond grateful for another day clean.
Thanks for the replies neversick and lucky girl.
I like your idea neversick about writing some ideas down about how/why I should stay off the hard stuff. They are actually raising quite a ruckus around here about heroin lately....so far this year we have had 28 heroin OD deaths which is a big deal for this little town.
I don't want to IV. I'm glad you are clean now luckygirl.
I am outside a lot thesedays and staying busy. Thats gonna be the key I believe.
I like your idea neversick about writing some ideas down about how/why I should stay off the hard stuff. They are actually raising quite a ruckus around here about heroin lately....so far this year we have had 28 heroin OD deaths which is a big deal for this little town.
I don't want to IV. I'm glad you are clean now luckygirl.
I am outside a lot thesedays and staying busy. Thats gonna be the key I believe.
Hey Ozz how are you sir?
Hey. I'm doing pretty good. Thanks for not letting my thread die.
I've actually been very sober most of the time (completely so) since my shroom experience. Once again, it really woke me up and I doubt this particular experience will ever be easily forgotten. It made me painfully aware of how fragile life is, and when one drinks straight liquor with no chaser one should not expect their body to appreciate it at all.
So, I haven't like consciously been staying sober, or really even thinking about it very much. But I have been very happy lately and very, very clean. My mind feels like it has had a significant re-adjustment and I find myself enjoying things and not really thinking too much about drugs. Its very odd, compared to how I was doing a few months ago.
There just seems to be so much to be interested in besides "when am I going to get high again", and it is a very big relief.
In general I feel less "guilty" about my life. It must be because I am putting my foot down finally, and telling certain people in my life no when they try and leech from me. And also being around new and old friends alike that are just more positive than what I've been dealing with.
Getting involved with my buddhist friends has helped tremendously. When I realize that I don't have to hide from the light, and positive things, people......drugs just seem to matter so much less.
I even had a bunch of beers the other night and was like "wtf, this is stupid" in my head. I would have been better off just smoking weed. So I have had a distaste for alcohol in general and it also feels really good.
Its so hard to explain but I feel like such a more free-spirited person, like I should. My natural inclination is towards easy-going and not weighed down by unecessary burdens. Lol been listening to a lot of bob marley lately if that tells people anything! lol
I've actually been very sober most of the time (completely so) since my shroom experience. Once again, it really woke me up and I doubt this particular experience will ever be easily forgotten. It made me painfully aware of how fragile life is, and when one drinks straight liquor with no chaser one should not expect their body to appreciate it at all.
So, I haven't like consciously been staying sober, or really even thinking about it very much. But I have been very happy lately and very, very clean. My mind feels like it has had a significant re-adjustment and I find myself enjoying things and not really thinking too much about drugs. Its very odd, compared to how I was doing a few months ago.
There just seems to be so much to be interested in besides "when am I going to get high again", and it is a very big relief.
In general I feel less "guilty" about my life. It must be because I am putting my foot down finally, and telling certain people in my life no when they try and leech from me. And also being around new and old friends alike that are just more positive than what I've been dealing with.
Getting involved with my buddhist friends has helped tremendously. When I realize that I don't have to hide from the light, and positive things, people......drugs just seem to matter so much less.
I even had a bunch of beers the other night and was like "wtf, this is stupid" in my head. I would have been better off just smoking weed. So I have had a distaste for alcohol in general and it also feels really good.
Its so hard to explain but I feel like such a more free-spirited person, like I should. My natural inclination is towards easy-going and not weighed down by unecessary burdens. Lol been listening to a lot of bob marley lately if that tells people anything! lol
luckygirl79
Bluelighter
^^^ Soooo awesome, bro. ��
Thanks luckygirl, and how are you?
Looks and feels like a good day is in store for me......rough quote from a friend at our last Leaders Training Meeting,
"No one can tell you how to live your life. The best others can do is relate their experience and hope that is has a positive impact, but better yet lead through ones own actions."
I think its for the best that we all have to figure things out as individuals. And if we get caught in the illusion that one person has the way for us and that it isn't actually inside our own heart, our own existence, our own life itself......then our life itself will become an endless painful austerity and so will all spiritual/religious endeavors (or lack thereof!)....when I see people caught in this illusion I feel bad for them, like misguided people who just don't know any better, being swayed towards a path that looks attractive but in the end is a pit of hell, a fallacy.
True happiness is definitely not inside a bag of dope. And honestly when people on here say that all drugs are the same and that opiate addicts can't truly become drug free until they abstain from all drugs I think is BS......not everyone is the same. Just because I smoke weed doesn't automatically mean I am going to immediately go back to pawning all my shit for a fat bag of dope.
I don't know, I'm not trying to start a fight or argument and if one ensues I hope it can be educational but imo strict guidelines that don't seek to better the individual instead of the establishment can be detrimental. Rehab is only temporary. The ultimate true reality of life is transcendent and all-encompassing. That is also why I am glad I follow a practice that has no "rules" to life, except that cause and effect are extremely strict, and everything is interconnected and truly inseparable in the long run or the grand scheme.
I just want others to be happy and truly get to experience "happiness, true self, purity and eternity".
Looks and feels like a good day is in store for me......rough quote from a friend at our last Leaders Training Meeting,
"No one can tell you how to live your life. The best others can do is relate their experience and hope that is has a positive impact, but better yet lead through ones own actions."
I think its for the best that we all have to figure things out as individuals. And if we get caught in the illusion that one person has the way for us and that it isn't actually inside our own heart, our own existence, our own life itself......then our life itself will become an endless painful austerity and so will all spiritual/religious endeavors (or lack thereof!)....when I see people caught in this illusion I feel bad for them, like misguided people who just don't know any better, being swayed towards a path that looks attractive but in the end is a pit of hell, a fallacy.
True happiness is definitely not inside a bag of dope. And honestly when people on here say that all drugs are the same and that opiate addicts can't truly become drug free until they abstain from all drugs I think is BS......not everyone is the same. Just because I smoke weed doesn't automatically mean I am going to immediately go back to pawning all my shit for a fat bag of dope.
I don't know, I'm not trying to start a fight or argument and if one ensues I hope it can be educational but imo strict guidelines that don't seek to better the individual instead of the establishment can be detrimental. Rehab is only temporary. The ultimate true reality of life is transcendent and all-encompassing. That is also why I am glad I follow a practice that has no "rules" to life, except that cause and effect are extremely strict, and everything is interconnected and truly inseparable in the long run or the grand scheme.
I just want others to be happy and truly get to experience "happiness, true self, purity and eternity".
Well said ozz..well said indeed!
luckygirl79
Bluelighter
I couldn't agree more. I don't think all drugs are the same. I've never used anything to the extreme of ruining my life except opiates and I started doing drugs 20 years ago... I don't even consider weed a drug. It's a plant, an herb. People say well, poppies are plants... Yeah bad plants if you abuse them. I've never seen anyone pawning shit for bud. In don't really smoke anymore, only on rare occasions. But if you can do something that enhanced your life rather than ruins it, go for it. I can't use opiates in any kind of responsible way. I'll always wind up sick, needing more and going to extreme lengths to get it. But everything else I can take or leave. Really alcohol and weed. I hate disassociatives and stimulants. But yeah the only thing that grips me and turns my life to shiite is opiates/opioids. Recovery can't be a cookie cuter 1 size fits all thing. That won't work 90% of the time. Do what you know to be true to you, is my motto.