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MDxA - 4th time - worst night of my life

e5th3r

e5th3r

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
Messages
1,632
worst night of my life

I went to a rave for new years and had the greatest night of my life and was looking forward to my second one SOOOOOO badly. I had done 3 pills previous to this rave that was coming up so i wasn't completely e-virgin.

it was a day b4 the rave and i still hadn't grabbed pills.. but luckily a guy that chops at school had the same pills as the ones i had done at the previous rave. i grabbed two. The day of the rave, i'm feeling great.. I hadn't eaten much though. I spent a nice day with my boyfriend and bla bla bla.

My boyfriend and I are waiting at the subway stop for everyone else to show up. I had eaten nothing that day and was feeling SO much pain in my stomach. he baught me a croissant to put atleast SOMETHING into my stomach. I ate it. Tasted like ass.

On the subway ride, i'm not feeling too well AT ALL. my stomach keeps bothering me and im PMS-ing hardcore. Everyone else popped their pills on the subway but I was unsure if I should because I was still feeling extremely sick.

We get off the subway. i tried to get some fresh air. we walked 45 minutes to the venue and when we got there, i was VERY dissapointed. seemed like not too many people were rolling. and there were no candy kids!!!! and i was CRANKY AS FUCK. I wanted to just leave. 15 minutes into the rave im fucking bored as hell so i decide to pop my first pill. to the bathroom i went. I waited and waited and i finally came up. and my god was it good. i was high as a kite! and i was loving it.

After 3 hours I was coming down.. so i decided to pop my other pill. I went to the bathroom and sat in the stall thinking hard about whether or not I should. Something told me that i shouldnt.. but in a situation like that I couldnt say no. so i did it. i put it in my mouth and downed it with water. and walked out.

I started to feel the effects of the second pill. it was going OKAY. about 10-15 minutes after, I started to feel something so horrifying i regreted taking that pill SO badly. My vision became so blurry I could barely makeout my boyfriends face when i looked at him. I started to leave earth then come back, like i was in another dimension. I even forgot that I was at a rave for about an hour and a half. I was so scared I thought I was going to die. i started to get SOOOOOOOOOO cold and my hands felt stiff when i tried to move them. I kept blanking out and spacing out, then I would keep telling myself that i was at a rave with my friends and that i would be FINE.

I kept holding onto my boyfriends hand cuz I thought i would die any minute. I told my boyfriend i wasnt okay and i tried (to the best of my ability) to explain to him wtf i was feeling. he asked me if i wanted medical help, and i said no (i didnt want to create a huge scene if really i was just experiencing something normal thats i hadnt leared bout when i researched). when ur on e u usually feel quite sober. but THIS... this was not anything close to my usual happy e-high feeling. this was FUCKED. FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED. I got up bcuz I thought i would pass out if i sat down for any longer and walked around trying to find the rest of my friends. My boyfriend kept me close and made sure nothing was getting too intense for me. I had no control of my legs. I tripped over everyone and couldnt keep my feet together and going where i wanted to go. My boyfriend looked SO concerned so i tried to shake it off.. hoping it would go away. I went outside for some fresh air and to have a cigarette and that helped a little bit. i felt SO overwhelmed by the music and all the people i just needed to get out.

after about 3 hours of feeling so horrified.. the feeling of blanking out was slowly subsiding. the only thing i wanted to do at that point was fucking LEAVE. my boyfriend and i got our coats, hopped on a cab and went home. the minute i stepped out of that venue.. i kissed the ground and thanked god that i was alive.

I dont know what happened to me.. and many people cant understand why it happened.. but all I know is that THAT experience has made me quit ecstasy. even if i was nothing close to dying, i felt like i was beyond dying.. and e isnt worth feeling that way EVER.. so i've quit. thanks for listening. :)
 
and i dont understand why this happened.. because the first time i did those pills i did the same amount and i had an amazing time. and even the first pill i popped this time was fine.. just the second one. why?!?!?!
 
I don't think anything quite that serious has happened to me while on E, but there have been times when I can relate to the mind state you experienced... it's not fun stuff sometimes, and I find it happens much more with MDA (but that's just because the hallucinations with that drug are weird for me).

If they were the exact same batch of pills, the only thing I can think of would be your difference in set and setting. Sounds like you had a lot of sensory overload inside the building (it usually picks me up nicely, but some people it has the opposite effect) and it may have led to your head just reacting in a different way than it could have.


Nice report as well :)
 
I'm not professional or anything, but my guess is that you had sensory overload. Think about it, your physical body, your brain, future self, relationships, sound, smell, sight, touch.....you were FUCKED UP!!! hahahah....you might have just experienced ecstacy! If you take one pill and it sends you that high, and you take another one then it will send you at least twice as high. WOOOOOO
 
That's called a panic attack, I hope you don't experience another one but it's very likely from now on for you. Be careful with stimulants and hallucinigens. Good luck.
 
8o I got a panic attack when I was stoned out, and it was pretty intense. I guess that would suck while rolling! I pulled myself out of a bad trip one night (with no external help), so is it possible to stop a panic attack?
 
yeah the same thing happened to me on coke........my heart was beating that fast it felt like it was gonna come out of my chest!!!!
very fucken scary....kinda put me off powder for a while...
 
fucking gutted. that sucks for you, good luck for the future!

peace
 
That sucks but I wouldn't quit E. Do you pre/post load because if you don't that could have something to do with it, get some 5 HTP and some activated B3 or SAMe and you'll have better rolls. I think it had alot to do with the lack of food (chicks and not eating, jokes) and the setting and your mind set. I overloaded in a moshpit once, threw up, so I got the hell out of there to chill and ended up having an awesome time, it wasn't the drugs fault it was just that you should have left when you started to pick up bad vibes, because bad vibes always lead to bad experiences. Man I had an anxiety attack on ritalin once, and I got to say it didn't freak me out as much as I thought one would. My chest got all tight and I couldn't breathe, I started to freakout, thinking whether I should call my mum or something. Fuck that I thought, and just calmed the fuck down and tried to breathe properly, as long as you don't panic they're not so intense. Mind you I think it was the thought of my mum finding out about my drug use that made me calm the fuck down.
 
^^ hahahahaha. thats so cute. yah im thinking of doing e again. this time.. when i feel uncomfortable or nething.. i'll get the fuck out and go somewhere calmer and relax myself.
 
hey e5th3r i had a very similar experience to you .i have been a regular user of E for the past 2 years , ive never had a bad experience on it untill a fortnight ago ....
I picked up 3 pills and got them tested , they tested up ok as mdxa but not very strong .I decided to double drop while i was waiting in line to get into a club . 30 minutes later they came on and i was absolutely smashed !!! in a really really good way , i was loving it .After dancing my arse off for a couple of hours i decided to take my 3rd pill (same sort as prevoius 2). 30 mins after taking it i new something wasnt quite right .I was sweating profusely (more than normal) and had really poor vision , but the worse thing was i started to stress out . it was not fun at all. i went and sat down on a couch and drifted off into dreamland . when i came round i was still freaking out and kept thinking that i could die . I was so close to getting someone to call an ambulance for me . I tried to stand up off the couch only to fall back . when i tried to walk it felt like my feet were sinking into the ground .Luckly for me some random chopped girls made it there mission to after me - gotta love chopped people.I eventually came right , but its put me off doing e for a while . It the scariest thing thats happened to me .Dont know what caused it , maybe there was an unknown adulterated substance in the pill that my body reacted to ... who knows...
 
^^ I dont think it was a panic attack in my case because i was literally fucked , i had reason to be stressed .
 
wow, i seriously wish that i could get that high off of e.

i also think good old al placebo has something to do with your experience too.
 
RollinWitAcoldBilly said:
wow, i seriously wish that i could get that high off of e.
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no... u really dont. its not fun AT ALL. u feel like ur fighting death off.. all i cud do was sit there and pray to any god.. to just help me snap out of it and for me to make it out of there alive. i was stupid to keep sitting in there.. i was just SO overwhelmed by all the people and the music. i shud have left.
 
^ i have had the exact feeling you described, yes it is intense but I just put it down to a huge dose of mda.:\
It fucked me over, I thought i was gona pass out, so i got up to go to the toilet, I got all dizzy and was gona fall over, I stumbled to the toilet and sat there for a good 20min sweting so bad there was puddles on the floor!!
my friend came in to see if i was ok, when he spoke it snaped me out of it and i was fine, but dam i thought i was gona die, but at the same time i was loveing it, I dont care if it happens again coz i know i just goto go somewhere calm and quiet for a bit to compose my self, all in all thats just a good dose of md** :\
 
e5th3r said:
no... u really dont. its not fun AT ALL. u feel like ur fighting death off.. all i cud do was sit there and pray to any god.. to just help me snap out of it and for me to make it out of there alive. i was stupid to keep sitting in there.. i was just SO overwhelmed by all the people and the music. i shud have left.
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not trying to be rude or anything, but are you one of those people who is extremely easily frightened? this sounds like it could have all started from some basic fear and pannicking and the E amplified it quite a bit.

it sucks you had such a gay experience - it can be one of the best.
 
This sounds like what happend to a girlfriend of mine, she was in a bad mind on the night and therefore had a bad trip.

When you plan to do any drugs, Especially MDxx you need to convince yourself you are going to have a good time, you cant be PMSing like you said otherwise shit like that WILL happen to you, and eating always helps aswell.

If this does ever happen to anyone please make sure that you find someone you love and trust, take them with you away from all the things you find overwelming and just chill, and you can do this for your friends too.
Please remember ppl, party safe and take care. Much love. :)
 
I had a similar experience the third time I used MDMA. My first 2 experiences were nothing to rave about and I now put it down to having fairly weak pills and mass expectations.

On the third occasion, I only had 3/4 of the pill, and about 1 hour in, started to feel like my head was wrapped in cotton wool. I ended up in the bathroom, unable to move for about an hour, just gripping the toilet seat. I eventually was able to message a friend who came in and rescued me. For the rest of the night, the music and lights were way too intense and I was just standing on the spot, not able to move from side to side to dance, fists clenched so tight it left marks for a few days after. I was able to walk slowly outside, but inside was unbearable.

I didn't use for nearly a year after that, and I now think that it was just an extra strong pill, and when I started to have typical bodily reactions to MDMA, I wasn't prepared for it after the earlier pills I'd had.

2 pills is quite a dose for a beginner imho. It's completely understandable that you freaked out a little. I wouldn't write the drug off at all though. As others have said, try it in an environment you are comfortable with - away from things which will cause sensory overload, until you get a feel for the drug. Even now, I always dose in halves at a time, because even if you test your pills, you can't be sure how strong they are.

:)
 
it seems to my like u just took some strong pills. The cold clammy hands are probably due to the fact the u were just rolling ur balls off and needed water. in my opinion if ur a newcomer to E then taking it at a club or rave or crazy environment with loud music and tons of people dancing the night away can be frightening. Sometimes when im on E i have to just sit down and close my eyes cuz im just floodin my brain with serotonin. having little food in you could have easily been the reason why u felt it so hard too. I mean, if u drink tons of alcohol on an empty stomach u feel like crap too and u get way drunker a lot faster. id say the next time u take it just do it at home with friends or ur boyfriend or something a lot more calmer. i firmly believe that in a calm environment where u can just chill, whether it be blasting music, getting light shows, or just sitting around talkin to friends, you can best explore and understand the drug and its side effects. that way when ur in a rave and ur dancing and it hits u real hard u know when u need to just sit down and chill out. play it safe, pre-load and post load, and you will have a blast. :D PLURR

also, according to ur post u rolled about 4 months apart. theres a good chance that those pills arent necessarily the from the same batch as before. around here at least different kinds of pills last roughly a month before new batches come in. if the pills are REALLY good or REALLY bad they usually are around for less time. always test ur pills!
 
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