If i dose after work 5:30pm (vaped 20mg) im able to eat dinner at 6:30pm and sleep at 10pm without any benzo or anything
Yeah, that's it. It's amazing how functional and enjoyable it can be in small doses. I mean, it doesn't seem to suppress appetite or prevent sleep anywhere near the level of ethyphenidate, amphetamine, or even caffeine, IN MY EXPERIENCE.
Aside from psychological cravings, it seems you can just drop it and walk off after using it for a good while and not suffer nearly as much as many drugs of dependence.
It's such a bitch of a thing...
One of the cleanest, most potent and immediate, clarifying, uplifting stims around, and doesn't bash you around too badly on the comedown....
BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BBBBBBBUUUUUUTTTTTTTT
It is so hard to control. As close to impossible as I've ever seen. I mean some things have big ups and then big downs, and the user needs to decide whether it's all worth it.
But with a-PVP I went waaaaaaaaayyyyyy beyond any sort of "normal" bingeing and entered a state of delirium during which I had no power to control myself at all. I kept vaping after it got scary. I kept vaping when I was hearing voices. I kept going even when each hit made me instantly feel WORSE. I'd look at the bag and see 'oh, thank fuck, there's only half a gram there, it'll all be over soon'. Iinstead of just flushing it. Like I was possessed by it.
So strange, never had anything like it before or since. And the strangest part is that I was adamant that I needed to learn to use it with mindfulness and control. So I kept ordering it, knowing that it was going to be another disaster. It's only the last month that I have worked out a system where the drug benefits me, I use it at a controlled pace, and I actually enjoy it. Less is more with this one.
To sum up : the PVs are weird, dangerous substances. There is something abot them that means I don;t want to let go. Usually it's black and white: I use this drug because I like it and I want to keep doing it. It has benefits and makes my life somehow better.
But with a-PVP, all I could see was that it was fucking me up and making me go nuts, but I just wouldn't stop. It definitely gives me a nice mood lift, but it's not a crazy euphoria by any means, it doesn't last long, and it has a horrible drawn out crash when abused. So why the hell did I keep at it as if there were some importance there....?
Anyway, plus side is that I have acually tamed it for the most part. can now use it without losing the plot. Strange.