I've been shamelessly lurking this website on occasion for years and years, mostly when Erowid didn't satisfy my inquiries. And I'd like to say off the get-go that I seriously admire everyone here for their ability to keep drugs as known and safe and harm-reduced as possible. Mind altering substances fascinate me and I love to explore this universe under the influence.
Without Bluelight and Erowids.....man basically It's safe to say that if I hadn't have the privilege to read everything I need to know about a
substance before I decided 2x the MD50 was a good starting dose..Well of course we all know how many lives have been saved here, but quite frankly,
ignorance does not forgive stupidity. People like Moderators didn't save me from death, rather, you saved me from what could have been my hopelessly sad
existence in life.
I'm confident that without these vast banks of human knowledge, If I was forced to take Fox News' opinion of drugs as the indisputable truth, I
would simply be a drug-avoiding sober person for my whole life.
Socially, if I continued down my path of sobriety and still loathed associating with my peers, I was 99% likely doomed to become a complete introverted
nerd with huge issues. Drugs were not only my release from my own fucked up situations as a kid, but it was my ability to legitimately socialize with
others, enjoy myself, and really unlock one of the most beautiful gifts of life which is: open expression towards others and general compassion; True
companionship, if you will.
Basically, I've been told by 100% of my friends that I approach drugs in a very unorthodox manner. I look for not only new experiences, but new
extremes if you will.. I research drugs I've only recently come in contact with, and if I see fit I will set myself up for not a downward spiral of life
changing addiction, but rather an allotted period of my life where I explore a substance to the fullest. Basically I simulate addiction for myself, even
when I'm acting out of my impulsive desire for redosing, I have to choose to let those impulses form into action..I've always considered anything you
could call an addiction of mine simply a Pseudo-Addiction. Absolutely every substance I've come accross (Except Nicotine...cigs so passive-aggressively
have me by the balls) has only been able to tempt me into "synthetic darkness" by provoking the thought: "This is so good I think i'll do it for a while
as much as I can.." Oddly enough my brain has no trouble stressing the "for a while" aspect of that resolution.
The bitter part about this otherwise convenient aspect of my body is that Drugs are social, basically in retrospect one of my best friends steamrolled his Heroin addiction about twice as fast cause I was throwing in with him on a regular basis. His personal daily doses, given the relatively good tar we were getting when I was throwing in with him were anywhere from $40-$60(IV) dollars a day. He was to the point where he was stealing Thousands of dollars in expensive winter jackets from his work and selling them on Ebay for about 1/3 price so that instead of a 12-24 hour sale he would get a 2 minute sale. By the time he was selling jackets pretty much constantly, he was doing $60 shots in the morning just to avoid withdrawal. $80 would give him a desirable effect and he would need atleast $140 every day of his life, just to avoid becoming unimaginabely ill. He was stealing multiple thousands of dollars worth of jackets every week and selling them for whatever it took to stop the onset of withdrawal. The man I'm referring to is a brother to me and I still see him every day of my life. It's really hard sometimes to think that I really sat there and snorted my insignificant little spoons of monkey water while he sat there trying to register on collapsed vein after collapsed vein. Towards the end of it I could register myself etc just fine, but if I caught glimpse of him dosing himself, I would almost always just on-the-spot puke and be opening the car door as it was airborne
My "worst" little episode had me IV'ing 200-300ml of coke/ice/tar Premo's daily by the end of it, usually split between 3-5 doses throughout. The
coke and the tar ran out, I simply decided this time around not to set up another means of supply..Finished my gram-ish of just ice IV'd, and sat there
for 20 hours smoking weed and cigarettes until I could sleep... Woke up with a bit of fatigue, absolutely no desire for ANY of that shit again, and the
most prominent feeling I had was the shame of what kind of pin cushion I turned my arms into. I'm very white, and very inexperienced with needles..
Additionally over a solid 1-2 month of progressing to being FORCED to snort any of my fix.. Junkies would tell me that I was impossible to hit even when
people were shooting for me because I would miss 6 times in a row... it actually took an experienced hand and they would never get a register first try
on completely virgin veins. I've only delved into needles about 1-2 months of my life, thank god, I would
That's the last time I've touched Ice or Tar, Cocaine I've had a few bumps sniffed here and there but I haven't purchased any of those three nasty
trashcan salads of additives and cuts. Don't ask me how I worked up to a heroin tolerance where if it was just going to be tar in the shot (It was rare
I didn't have all three Premo ingredients anyway though) I could drop a nice 30-40 dollar shot and be good for the next few hours.
Sorry to write a novel, the reason I have my bibliography on bluelight post #1 is actually the reason I've created an account and I'm finally one of
those 2011 idiots asking where the "Phamily Blotter" is at... Forgive the wall of text as a first post though seriously lol
Anyway, I'm currently on a nice little run with Research Chemicals (Mainly MDPV [tannish colored] and Mephedrone) and it's gotten to the point
where based on what I'm seeing here lately, my continued use of these substances is somewhere in a grey area as to what kind of potential health and
mental affects im looking at.
I started trying the 2c family here and there, had a great time with them, but, but honestly all I really wanted to do with the 2c's was cap
them up and sell them to dance-going people. I'm not saying I won't get the fuck down on 40mg(oral) of 2c-i every so often. Or if I'm looking to go fly
places I tend to dose around 12-14mg(oral) of 2c-p. 2c's are simply occasional experiences that I want.
Eventually we ordered some Mephedrone...I fell in love about 2 minutes after I got done wiping the tears out of my eyes and swearing I just
snorted bathtub meth laced with margarita lime salt.
About 35-40 hours into our flagship Meow Meow binge, we get an order for our next little party favor, MDPV....At this point I've got 5 co-workers stayin
at the house dosing with me taking turns between friends houses in the same apartment complex next to work, completely calling out of work (And doing so
for the first time in my life without making the decision "Fuck that I don't want this shit job")
This MDPV bitch dresses up in just the right size of crotchless panties to conceal the fact that she's pretty much a hepatitis rancher. You
sit there with the tip of your dick sliding around a sluts libia, you're pretty much just ganna go balls deep. Might take her a while getting you hyped
up, but eventually you will say "I'm going to fuck this bitches brains out, in fact, I'm going to tie here to my kitchen table and run a train on her
with every friend I can think to call."
First of all, based on my previous...For lack of a better word, Immunity to some of the most life-alteringly addictive substances around: MDPV is
HIGHLY ADDICTIVE. I don't give a fuck what kind of study you have showing my Body doesn't want it. I'm hoping we can all relate to that utterly PRIMAL
feeling of "Why the fuck am I even using logic? I could be fucking this girl's brains out" If you've ever been in a situation where you're off-your-
balls horny and some random fuckable hole comes your way.
Sarcastic yet accurate analogies aside: That's basically where I'm at with this shit. I'm on my second, arguably third lengthy binge since the very
short lapse of time from my very first flagship dose. I've been sitting here all night reading the MDPV mega threads to make sure I'm not about to die
because I've always cut myself off by this point. Re-dosed ~15mg sniffed at 1am tonight despite tellin myself i gatta stop and just get off it to sleep
tonight and get my mind right. I concluded that around 9pm, last time i dosed before 1am was around 6pm (5-7mg sniffed). I'm dosing 5-10mg constantly to
simply be able to function throughout work. I did actually sleep about 4 hours last night, but before that I had been up from basically (Sunday 12pm -
Wednesday 4am) under the influence of nothing but Cigarettes, Schwag, and MDPV up the nose.
For whatever goddamn reason I'm not giving my body a break and It's to the point where I'm on the verge of another 9 hour day at work with only
one option : Dose through the fatigue. I was even to the point where I was comfortably relaxed and I could've laid down and been able to sleep. It's a
weird sensation having a plan and essentially watching myself break up a line despite being completely past the point of relaxed and fully off the
direct stimulus.
What I've noticed from this self-benchmarked extreme drug use that I haven't seen maybe 1 or 2 vague reports of, is that I'm constantly
hallucinating. everything is basically being distorted by very subtle wavy mostly transparent movements of light in my eyes. Honestly it looks like
everything is distorted by heat, but there's also some blank white traces of light moving around and the distortion is generally a 360 degree movement
rather than fixed rising. Oddly enough I can still focus on text and higher thinking to some degree.
My throat is entirely shot after my first lengthy encounter which progressed to chasing my dosage into the eventual integration of about 15mg of MDPV
into every 120mg line of Meow about once every 2 hours. In fact, after my first 3day4night ordeal, I got a fairly severe Throat AND Ear infection. Oddly
enough this worked because all of the work I missed I got my Doctor to write off. Two solid weeks and 2 full courses of different antibiotics, and I'm
now finally well enough to live and work like a human and not some Infection Zombie. Except now what do I do? Go sell the shit and take some bumps with
the customer.. then follow those bumps with another friend and say fuck It i'll just go to work tomorrow bumpin the bathroom all day and sleep after
that.
Granted I've been out of MeowMeow for almost a week now, my nose never really did get 100% better. I'm going to be quite honest here, the price on MDPV is absolutely bonkers. I could probably go to my home town and make EASILY 10 times my money back on like 3.5gs of this shit, I've got around 2000mgs in my pocket as we speak. I just sold/snorted that 1000mg bag same day I ran out before that since Sunday. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dealing, I'm sharing the love quite honestly...But... I've already sold 200mg to a friend of mine and both him and his girlfriend had a terrible tweakmare they just laid in bed for a solid 36 hours, couldnt function, I honestly couldn't fathom what special kind of hell they were in but apparently both of them snapped about 50mg at a time in some "bumps". This is after I explained the dosage ATLEAST 10 fucking times, I even weighed a 5mg bump out to the tee and told him to just "take keybumps like this". His roomate was calling me about 30 hours later asking what I sold them because both of them were twacked out to the point where they could only lay down, eyes wide open, so glossy it's hard to pierce light into the actual eye...they just needed to be shivering a little bit instead of grunting every 4th sentence yelled at them and I would have been calling EMS.
I really had no solid points to make going in to this, so if you're wondering "BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAAAAAN"
It doesn't
. Now that's dangerous, folks.... MDPV can make you rant about MDPV. That's why so many people are ranting on the forum about MDPV... any questions? 
