I don't do synthetic drugs anymore, it's been ages. PV was the worst but I struggled even with the synthetic cannabinoids too. Alcohol has really become my dark side, I've been getting smashed every night for 4 months. My problems are piling up big time. I almost want to go back to this world of PV abuse but I know there is little hope for me if I do so I keep trying to stay away. It's crazy that I still think about it, the cold weather alone reminded me of mdpv because I can remember walking home in the freezing cold and smoking it the whole way home.
Life seemed so wonderful in the early stages of my mdpv abuse and I wish I could recapture that somehow. I know I'm too far gone far that now, I can't touch mdpv or apvp if I want to keep any semblance of sanity. Hell I can't even control my alcohol use, I'm pretty much drinking as much as possible as often as I can.
My problems are all adding up on me, my teeth are fucking rotting in my mouth rather suddenly. I have no money and I've had 2 teeth extracted in 2 weeks and I've still got 2 horrific toothaches to address. I have no car, no ambition to get my license back from a horrible 2nd offense DUI on phenazepam years back, and my mom is about to have a biopsy under suspicion that she has uterine or endometrial cancer tomorrow. And all I can do is throw anbesol on my aching teeth and drink alcohol until I'm too fucked up to stay awake. Then precious sleep shall come, all I want to do is sleep. But tomorrow it's all still there, and that is my life problem. I can't solve anything, I just want to run as far away as possible.
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