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MDMA with someone who doesn't care about me?

3sixty

3sixty

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 6, 2010
Messages
25
Hi,

I'm kinda standing on a crossroad and I'm not sure what would be the right move.

There are these two girls with whom I have two very different problems.
The first one is my roommate. We have been together since this school year. We had sex the very first week, then things basically got weird and we fought for a whole semester. I wanted to move out but couldn't find anyone to replace me. So fast forward a little bit - I told her that I've developed feelings for her and of course got friendzoned. She has a boyfriend (who is in another country ATM) and had one all the time. In her mind I'm probably an orbiter #7635462. I would never even thought about considering staying in the friendzone but being friends with her is actually beneficial for me since I don't have too much experience with girls... but I still have those feelings for her and it's quite a torture.

So I was thinking about doing MDMA with her to overcome (or maybe clarify is a better word) the issues we have with each other. That is me thinking that she doesn't care about me or our "friendship" and her not understanding what I think about her and always thinking that I have some ulterior motive.
I was convinced that this would solve our issues forever so that we could possible live together for another semester but I'm not sure anymore. I'm afraid that it would just confirm that she really doesn't care about me and is talking about the friendship and living together just because it's the most comfortable option for her.

---
And the girl #2 (my classmate) made me realized my own issues when it comes to relationships (and possible why I've never been in a serious one).
I made completely wrong assumptions about her and what kind of person she is before even talking to her (horrible thing to do - I know). We went on a date after discovering that we have a lot of common interests (psychedelics being one of them). Everything was great until she really opened up and started to talk about her past life. After realizing how much more experienced she is in every aspect of life then I am I just shut down. I guess it was because I felt inferior or that I had nothing to give her.
She is probably the most interesting girl I've ever met and it really bothers me to think that I would throw away any future interactions between us because of my own insecurities. I think that if I explain this to her she would be willing to do MDMA with me. But again I'm not really sure what to expect.

I really don't know. Maybe my whole thought process is completely wrong. I would really appreciate any opinions.

//Couldn't decide whether Releationships would be a better place to put this - hope I made a right choice.
 
So you got these 2 girls.

One of them you fancy moreso than the other?

But the one you don't fancy as much is the one you probably have a chance with?
Am I right?

You should stop dwelling on things and just be yourself.
It sounds like you would benefit from calling it quits with girl #1 and just having a good time with girl #2.

I would also be wary about placing MDMA on a pedestal.

However, it might be worth dropping some with girl #2 and just having a good time.
 
Rolling with a girl that friendzoned me made me love her ten times as much during and after the experience, you will hurt yourself alot, and probably get nothing in return. At best she will have sex with you because of the MDMA, is that what you want? If you still have feelings for her, DON'T roll. It will save you alot of hurt mate.. trust me
 
There's actually a girl #3 as well.

Girl #1 - my roommate, strongest feelings towards her (probably because I see her half naked everyday), 0 change with her. Having her as a roommate and friend next semester sounds pretty good to me though ATM, but we have very big trust issues with each other that I don't see overcoming in very short time we have without MDMA.

Girl #2 - one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life. I would love to hang out with her and share ideas, but because she's so much more experienced with life then I am, I have trouble communicating with her. Again I see MDMA as a possible solution.

Girl #3 - most innocence girl ever :), geek, funny, beautiful - we hang out a lot and this is the girl I would love to have a relationship with. No problems with her :D

You are probably right about me putting MDMA on a pedestal though. I can't really explain it but somehow I just feel that in this situation MDMA could be THE solution. Maybe I should just pop one, have my phone ready and see what will happen. I don't know...

But to go back to the topic of this post - what is the worst case scenario? Could it flip on me and make me an emotional wreck for next few weeks if thing don't go as I would like them to?
 
dezz: thank you for your reply mate! This is exactly what I was afraid of. That nothing would be solved and I would just develop even stronger feelings for her while she would probably just realize how much she misses her boyfriend.
 
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Yes, and if you really have strong feelings for her, you won't be an emotional wreck for weeks, you will be for months. Her living with you isn't helping either, and not to change subject, but you need the no contact rule, or those feelings will last forever. You talk about "trust issues" and all that stuff, but, mate... she probably thinks of you as "random guy no. 126 who want's to get in my pants". If I were you, I would forget about the MDMA for now and first find your own place/room whatever, THEN think about rolling with one of your ladyfriends.
 
You are absolutely right. I know that's how things are and always did. Being with her in one room makes it hard to think rationally and not to kid myself. There are these moments of clarity (like when I tried to move out) but I could use more of them.
I'll talk to her this evening, tell her how I see it and explain why I don't want to interact with her anymore. She'll be at home over summer break, so it's just one more month and then I'm gonna move out.

Nobody should be in friendzone... f**king torture if you ask me :/
 
had a friend in the same position you are in with girl number one. ended up rolling with her and trying to create the best day ever for her, only to watch her flirt with other guys towards the end of the night. he seemed to be devastated for months, even though this girl obviously didnt deserve his time, much less his effort. if someone is always suspicious of you having hidden motives, i would drop her and focus on the friends that clearly do care about you and your friendship.
 
rollonsafely said:
had a friend in the same position you are in with girl number one. ended up rolling with her and trying to create the best day ever for her, only to watch her flirt with other guys towards the end of the night. he seemed to be devastated for months, even though this girl obviously didnt deserve his time, much less his effort. if someone is always suspicious of you having hidden motives, i would drop her and focus on the friends that clearly do care about you and your friendship.
Click to expand...

Yep drop her :)
 
Girl#1: Don't do it. I've tried something similar once (I didn't know the girl as long as you though) and it sucked. Especially seeing her having fun with other guys, as described above.

Girl#2: The fact that you don't have the same experiences in life shouldn't mean you feel inferior in any way; it's hardly your fault, right? Maybe MDMA could be a way for you to open up towards each other and 'level out' though, I'd say it won't hurt to try. While I hardly ever talk about heavy stuff when rolling I do feel that the bond I have with some of my friends deepened somewhat after doing it together.

Girl#3: Go for it :)
 
rollonsafely said:
had a friend in the same position you are in with girl number one. ended up rolling with her and trying to create the best day ever for her, only to watch her flirt with other guys towards the end of the night. he seemed to be devastated for months, even though this girl obviously didnt deserve his time, much less his effort. if someone is always suspicious of you having hidden motives, i would drop her and focus on the friends that clearly do care about you and your friendship.
Click to expand...
This happened to me unknowingly. We were all having a good time years ago and was offered a massage by one of the girls. I knew she was single and sure as hell didn't pass that up! Well, eventually one of the dudes goes storming upstairs angry as hell and almost wanted to fight me (good thing we were rolling). Apparently, he was really into her but she was just teasing him and didn't care what he thought. I don't know what happened with them afterwards and don't care either but it was a fucked up situation to be in.
 
3sixty said:
You are absolutely right. I know that's how things are and always did. Being with her in one room makes it hard to think rationally and not to kid myself. There are these moments of clarity (like when I tried to move out) but I could use more of them.
I'll talk to her this evening, tell her how I see it and explain why I don't want to interact with her anymore. She'll be at home over summer break, so it's just one more month and then I'm gonna move out.

Nobody should be in friendzone... f**king torture if you ask me :/
Click to expand...
Lol oh believe me I totally know what your saying. I learned the hard way and had heartbreak which I'm still not completely over, and it's been 2 years.. :p Could have been avoided if I didn't stay in the friendzone though. Feeling that way about someone makes you blind, you just don't see the way things REALLY are in that mindset and you're just chasing this dreamgirl that honestly doesn't exist anymore or never existed. Why do you need to talk to her? Move out! You need to take a few steps back my friend, see how she responds. If she doesn't or you are not hearing from her, you know where you stand.
 
dezz: did that last week. Finally after 4-5 days she started a conflict over something really stupid, and it ended up with me telling her that I was wrong about her and that I want to be with people who actually care about me. She wrote me this huge apology on facebook explaining everything and asking me to forgive her and play her BFF again.
This apology was actually my "aha" moment, because it showed that she only cares about how SHE feels. Nevertheless though she apologize and tried to explain things and I feel like I should too.
 
3zixty deff number 3# bro. Or 2.

the reason for me is when you would go with number 3. those feelings already will sky rocket out into yooo peniz and go balllllzzzzzz deep with her.
 
Ofcourse, she doesn't want to loose you, because you are feeding her ego who wouldn't like it if someone had a crush on you... it's still selfish and she should respect the fact that you need space, you shouldn't apologize for needing your space... if she is a friend ofcourse... whatever do what you gotta do, I don't know the bigger picture ofcourse, just my opinion on stuff like this.
 
Well... I got drunk, felt asleep in her bed, she found me, started crying and told me to never speak to her again. I guess that solves my problem :D
 
3sixty said:
Well... I got drunk, felt asleep in her bed, she found me, started crying and told me to never speak to her again. I guess that solves my problem :D
Click to expand...

One of my favourite Bluelighter posts. To me makes no fucking sense whatsoever hahaha
 
3sixty said:
Well... I got drunk, felt asleep in her bed, she found me, started crying and told me to never speak to her again. I guess that solves my problem :D
Click to expand...
alcohol solves problems iv been saying this for years :). also agree that this is a great post
 
3sixty said:
Well... I got drunk, felt asleep in her bed, she found me, started crying and told me to never speak to her again. I guess that solves my problem :D
Click to expand...

Maybe you drooled on her favorite pillow? Never drool on a girls pillow.
 
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