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MDMA Suicide?

M

_MDMAzing_

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 18, 2016
Messages
4
I have one simple question.. If I snort and swallow a total of 6/7 grams of UNTESTED so called "iceberg" MDMA crystal within, let's say, 3 hours, is it GUARANTEED to kill me? 100% no doubts whatsoever?
 
Please don't kill yourself - life really will get better. I know its hard to believe right now, but your situation will improve. I have been in and out of suicidal depression and I'm so glad I stuck around because I'm finally happy, and that wouldn't have happened if I were dead. Plus, your suicide would haunt your friends and family for the rest of their lives. You don't want them to live with that pain.
 
^ agreed. I literally watched my ex g/f who was depressive when we first started dated, become suicidal when we were heroin addicts but now shes a very confident and happy person. We had a codependent relationship in a sense where she was reliant on me for so many things, once she discovered herself she left me to move on with her life of happiness. We are best friends and i see her daily but my point is 2 years ago i would have said "no she probably cant rebound fully from this" but she did and amazed her psychiatrist, addiction counselors and even her MD by working out now. She is so much a different person but my point is she tried to kill herself so many times if she succeeded she would never be the strong confident woman she is now.

You dont know how life will go I couldnt predict any of the shit that happened for the better while it was at its worse. Even the heroin addiction turned recovery story gave us strength to move forward and be proud... you just never know.

Also humans are notoriously hard to kill if you do this you will likely end up brain dead from over heating internally when someone finds you and saves your life. Think about people that get shot at point blank in the head and live... You do not want to do this.
 
Thank you for your responses.

See, I'm not sure on exactly what's wrong with me. I've suffered with depression for almost 3 years accompanied by severe anxiety and I have reason to believe I have some other sort of mental disorder also. (Reoccurring thoughts of going on a "killing spree" before taking my own life, etc). I understand how ridiculous this sounds and for that reason, have not seeked any sort medical help. (Besides, even if I wanted to, I find it extremely challenging to talk to people about things like this, even members of family!) I smoked cannabis for 4 years and with the help and support of my (ex) girlfriend, quit cold turkey for 2 until later returning to this bad habit. I am also convinced it was the excessive cannabis abuse which caused my anxiety problems and will get extremely anxious even after just one bong or small spliff. I've never really abused any other substance except MDMA. Yesterday, I ended a 4 day long binge where I consumed roughly 3.5gs of previously mentioned "iceberg" crystal. I am fully aware of the stupidity of MDMA binges and have spent endless days researching into the substance, it's risks and consequences of frequent/abusive use. The first time trying MDMA was in the form of an XTC pill. (SILVER BAR) Dosing HALF then 1.5/2 hours later the other half. Around Christmas time last year. I hopelessly fell in love. I am fully aware of the durability of the human body. While intoxicated by these XTC pills, I would walk the streets TOPLESS at 3AM during CHRISTMAS and still be sweating buckets. How I am alive, I will never know! In my short use or rather abuse, of MDMA, I would say I have consumed a total of 40 pills and anything up to 20 grams of crystal. Again, I am FULLY aware of the risk factors involved in frequent use and ironically, am the one who persistently warned my "friends" of these risks. I plan to trade a PS4 for a quarter ounce of this solid white/transparent "iceberg" crystal literally in an hour from now when my source is around. It may be worth mentioning I am 19 years old, roughly 5'6 in height and weigh only 50kg. (Recent substance abuse has caused a loss of 20kg.) And for the last 2/3 doses, I have experienced a numbness/tingling sensation in my left arm and leg. And my HR has been as high as 147 BPM, RESTING!! Madness!! Sorry for the lengthy post. Got very off topic. Will 7000mg of this substance be an adequate amount to stop my heart? A simple YAY or NAY will suffice. Thank you in advance. I appreciate your time.

Final note; The consumption of this will be in complete solitude, therefore, eliminating the chances of being discovered and provided with medical assistance.
 
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No one is going to help you kill yourself. Please take a moment and Read everything you have written in this thread so far. You say you have researched the effects of MDMA, and have warned your friends, yet you are disregarding your own research. Certainly you know that the way you are feeling now is temporary, and the longer you go without using the better you will feel. Why do you allow your brain to recover some? Why are you in a rush to commit suicide? Suicide is permenant, and is always an option in the future. What if you gave yourself some recovery time and find that you really can be happy, and stuff gets better? I remember being your age, it sucked. 19 was one of the hardest years of my life, and I wanted to die. Hell, I even slit my wrist down to the bone. I didn't die, I rode it out, and went through hell for a few more years, then something strange happened. It started getting better. Looking back, I am so glad I didn't die. I would have missed out on so much fun, and I would have destroyed my parent's lives. I wish I could prove to you that it will get better, but all I can do is tell you it will. Stay off the MDMA, I promise eventually you will feel better, and you will be glad you didn't die.
 
Hey man are you still here with us? I hope so, please let us know how you are doing. We all wish you well and want nothing but for you to be okay. We all have struggled with deep and dark depression and self hatred. I think about checking out all the time, more as a solution to all of the problems that I have created for myself, and to end the process of being a failure. I truly hope you will get back to us.
 
Bro listen the drugs cause this severe anxiety. I am 3.5 years out of stupidly doing mdma crystal and man its been rough. Pull out now while you still can you will be happy again your not in too deep. Don't kill yourself man
 
Thank you. I appreciate all the support.

I am still here indeed.

I'm no stranger to the dysphoria one would expect to experience after the use of MDMA. I understand why we encounter these lows and therefore, do not allow it to trouble me too much. In short, this was not responsible for the issue I am still very much facing.

I have been a victim of depression and have attempted suicide on multiple occasions. Many of which occurred even before I started using this substance. I have been prescribed several anti-depressants but decided to discontinue the use of these in order to avoid addiction.

Anxiety is also one of my many major problems. Each and every day I am falling further into the abyss. The severity of this has reached the point where I no longer wish to leave my home, in daylight, anyway. That being said, I don't think it is necessary to state the challenges this presents both socially and financially.

In all honesty, I don't quite know exactly what I am trying to achieve here. I just lack ambition.

Thank you again for all the help. It feels good to speak with people who clearly show a genuine concern for my wellbeing.
 
So glad you are still here! I was very felt similar to you regarding not going out much because of depression and anxiety. Once I finally got some decent sober time, the depression and anxiety started to get much better, and now I feel like I have a fairly normal life. It did take a few years though:/. Try to take a break from all drugs, and just do the best you can. You will start feeling better. I used to struggle with depression prior to touching drugs, but I found that the lows I got from doing drugs were so far below the regular depression, that when I got back to baseline the bouts of regular depression didn't seem nearly as bad or unmanageable lol.
 
Thank you benzo girl.

I couldn't agree more with your comment regarding the comparison between usual depression and drug induced. It certainly helps soften the blow to say the least.

As much as I dislike to, I have to admit it is time for a little abstinence.

Question. There has been a handful of times where, during a comedown, I would mumble to myself for an extensive amount of time. This doesn't trouble me all that much. What does trouble me however, is what I am mumbling on about. I speak my thoughts and/or my thought process. Now, 9/10 times this isn't an issue. Although, I am very much aware of my dark side and could possibly one day say something, let's say, not so pleasant. There has even been one occasion where I attempted to resolve the issue USING the issue. I distinctly remember saying; "I've got to stop doing this" and when realising what I have just done, I would become aggressive towards myself; "shut the f**k up" or "you're a f**king d**khead" etc. The only term I can use to describe this is a "fried brain".

I guess there is a humorous side to it but also a rather disturbing one, too.

If anyone has encountered a similar experience I would very much like to hear it or if anyone can shine some light on this for me it would be appreciated.

Thank you.
 
_MDMAzing_ said:
Thank you benzo girl.

I couldn't agree more with your comment regarding the comparison between usual depression and drug induced. It certainly helps soften the blow to say the least.

As much as I dislike to, I have to admit it is time for a little abstinence.

Question. There has been a handful of times where, during a comedown, I would mumble to myself for an extensive amount of time. This doesn't trouble me all that much. What does trouble me however, is what I am mumbling on about. I speak my thoughts and/or my thought process. Now, 9/10 times this isn't an issue. Although, I am very much aware of my dark side and could possibly one day say something, let's say, not so pleasant. There has even been one occasion where I attempted to resolve the issue USING the issue. I distinctly remember saying; "I've got to stop doing this" and when realising what I have just done, I would become aggressive towards myself; "shut the f**k up" or "you're a f**king d**khead" etc. The only term I can use to describe this is a "fried brain".

I guess there is a humorous side to it but also a rather disturbing one, too.

If anyone has encountered a similar experience I would very much like to hear it or if anyone can shine some light on this for me it would be appreciated.

Thank you.
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OMG - I thought I was the only one that did that! I would go through that for a few months every time I got sober. Anytime I was either embarrassed or I did something wrong I would mumble my thoughts. I used to have to really be aware when I was in public, especially with my social anxiety. Fortunately, it goes away. I found it would get worse when I was really stressed. When it first started happening I thought I was insane, and would end up one of those bag ladies on the street pushing a cart talking to herself lol.
 
If you're lucky, you'll die, if not your brain will be severely damaged by the thermal reaction and serotonergic activity. Let me say this clearly: Overdose on psychedelic stimulants is not a step into a long goodnight like opiates or downers! Simply put it is the most uncomfortable, deranged, hallucinatory and poisoned state a person can be in. I have done it accidentally several times. I've overdosed on many other drugs as well, opiates included. Psychedelic stimulants FTW of most horrible and least likely to actually kill you. PLEASE DONT!
 
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