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MDMA, severe comedown

C

coderbrah

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 7, 2014
Messages
142
Hey everyone, before I talk about my MDMA use I thought I'd give a bit of a background since this explains some things.

3 years ago I had develop an anxiety disorder, however I learned to deal with this and at the time of using X I was anxiety free for at least 2 years. However I did have a period of being extremely overworked, it became so bad I actually had to quit a lot of things and go to the doctor because I was experiencing insomnia and extreme fatigue/low concentration/irritability (basically my serotonin wasnt at its highest point). I thought that it would be a good idea to party even though I felt too physically drained; I thought it would help recovery by distracting me.

I had also been straight edge for 6 years, abstaining from drugs/cigs/alcohol. However I tried alcohol again a few weeks before and wanted to at least TRY drugs so I would know the experience.

At the party I got half a white domino from a friend of mine (said to contain about 100mg). I decided "fuck it" and I swallowed it. Prepared to deal with whatever would happen next.

When it started to kick in I panicked because the effect was very overwhelming. They had to sit me down and I was panicking for a good ten minutes until I slowly got accustomed to the drug. After that it did a total 180 and I felt absolutely amazing for a good 4-5 hours. According to my friends I was going really hard and appeared to be sensitive to the drug.

After 4-5 hours the drug started to slowly die off and I became anxious because I actually wanted to be done with it already. The ride home I was still pretty out of it. I couldnt sleep that night and the next day I was all sorts of fucked up and still filled with fear and feeling waves and really as if I was still on the XTC (which gave me some panic attacks).

The comedown since then has been absolute HELL to say the least

Extreme fatigue, couldn't even walk.
Extreme dizzines
Ringing in my ear
Panic attacks
Couldnt deal with light, TV way too bright for me
Really bad heart palpilations
Couldnt eat anything at all and had no appetite
Insomnia, I literally couldn't sleep, at the most I would fall asleep for 10 minutes
No mind at all, only thing I could do was have rapid thoughts

That I basically stayed in bed feeling like this all day. The absolute worst week of my life.

The next week I had improvements, I could walk again, I had appetite, TV wasnt as bright and I had some improvements in my mood.

However my severe serotonin depletion became apparent as I crawled out of bed after that week. I have only been able to read on my phone the next week and having read a lot about serotonin and its effect on body functions I can safely say the following symptoms are all from this depletion:

- Sensory overload: nothing gets filtered out, if I'm walking through the street I hear every single car and bird and see every person that walks. Loud noises trouble me. Also still have some problems looking at the tv and videos. Also music is too much going on for me. I cant play videogames/watch a movie/listen to music using earbuds. This basically makes me a vegetable. Although there is slight improvement here. I can now lie on the couch in the evening with my parents' TV not bothering me.

- Blood sugar: apparently serotonin manages moods and blood sugar fluctuations. If I eat a big plate of white rice on an empty stomach I get INTENSE uncontrollable panic about two hours after for at least two hours. I am now eating a very small amount of brown rice every 1,5 hour to keep this in check. I have such intense sugar cravings though- Id do anything for a nice big pizza but that would certainly put me in the hospital.

- Sleep: I cannot sleep by myself. I am currently using a melatonin supplement which actually does make me sleep, I keep sleeping for 60 minutes and then waking up. (Upon waking up from these cycles I feel heart palpilations and fear (appearantly ykur body releases sero/adrenaline/cortisol on waking up).

- Cognitive, most of the day I am a total potato, I can only think in the moment (however long term memory is fine and I can speak fine/hold arguments), which is super annoying as Im basically saying "everything will be alright" to myself all day long. However Ive been slowly able to daydream a little here and there.

- Mood: my mood is fairly predictable: I wake up with fear, then I slowly calm down, in the afternoon I have some sort of depressive/anxious feeling and the evening I'll be pretty calm. Although I do have a lingering uneasy/anxious feeling and a feeling as if I'm not myself.

- Energy: Im able to run sometimes during the day now but mostly I feel a big bag of sand.

Im not able to live my normal life. Sitting behind my laptop and work is impossible. What I do all day is eat my rice+lots of eggs and walnuts and veggies, and get as much sun outside. Although walking outside feels really weird and I got a lot of sensory overload and I cant process whats happening.

It has been 2 weeks and 5 days now.
Im currently in a really bad state, there is some improvement albeit very very slow.

I am definitely not going to do drugs ever again. Luckily Im a very happy guy otherwise and I cant wait to recover because I have so many plans with my life, its just crushing that it takes so long.
 
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Sounds like a stimulant comedown accompanied by panic attacks or very high anxiety.

This will easily cause heart palpitations and pretty much everything else you listed.

I've had a panic attack on a comedown from 40mg of adderall (typical dose for me when it was taken) that made me feel like I was having an actual heart attack. Took me a couples hours to calm down.

A benzo could have easily alleviated your comedown.
 
Hi man. Though it seems like the community as a whole is ignorant to the fact, MDMA can cause symptoms like this from using only one time. I'm gonna link you the recovery post of a guy with pretty similar symptoms to yours here. He also did half a pill IIRC.

Your symptoms seem pretty intense, but they are also similar to what many people here on bluelight have experienced from MDMA use. Many of them are comparable to how I felt in the first weeks 3 months ago. Considering you've "only" had this for 2,5 weeks, you might snap out of it within a month or two. There's many accounts of that happening. However, most of the guys who come here with a similar post to yours are in this for the long haul. I've had this for a little over 3 months now, and I must say that I have improved very much. If my rate of improvement will continue I'm guessing I'll be back to good ol' me in a few months time.

I can assure you that you WILL IMPROVE. Feel free to PM me if you want.
 
TBH I don't think it's smart moving the thread here. I haven't seen many people here with knowledge of the adverse effects from very sparing use of the drug, like only one time for me and OP. However there's plenty of people in MED with knowledge of this. You are not helping OP by moving.

Edit: This is obviously why people in general haven't heard much about the possible damage that MDMA can cause from very sparing use. As soon as someone mentions it it's moved out of sight. Probably because people find it harder to rationalize their use after reading it?
 
ScaredFirstTimer said:
Hi man. Though it seems like the community as a whole is ignorant to the fact, MDMA can cause symptoms like this from using only one time. I'm gonna link you the recovery post of a guy with pretty similar symptoms to yours here. He also did half a pill IIRC.

Your symptoms seem pretty intense, but they are also similar to what many people here on bluelight have experienced from MDMA use. Many of them are comparable to how I felt in the first weeks 3 months ago. Considering you've "only" had this for 2,5 weeks, you might snap out of it within a month or two. There's many accounts of that happening. However, most of the guys who come here with a similar post to yours are in this for the long haul. I've had this for a little over 3 months now, and I must say that I have improved very much. If my rate of improvement will continue I'm guessing I'll be back to good ol' me in a few months time.

I can assure you that you WILL IMPROVE. Feel free to PM me if you want.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the encouraging words man. To be honest- all I want is for me to be able to listen to music/watch a movie/play a game/eat what I want (not to mention work). That would make things so much easier. The sensory overload and eating are the most irritating things.

MagickalKat777 said:
med > tds
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ScaredFirstTimer said:
TBH I don't think it's smart moving the thread here. I haven't seen many people here with knowledge of the adverse effects from very sparing use of the drug, like only one time for me and OP. However there's plenty of people in MED with knowledge of this. You are not helping OP by moving.

Edit: This is obviously why people in general haven't heard much about the possible damage that MDMA can cause from very sparing use. As soon as someone mentions it it's moved out of sight. Probably because people find it harder to rationalize their use after reading it?
Click to expand...

I posted in in the MDMA section because there are a lot of people that know about comedowns related purely to MDMA. TDS seemed a bit too general and I thought I might not receive the same amount of empathy or understanding there.
 
Hi coderbrah,

We've had a few posters here of late reporting problems with MDMA use, I do find the views are sometimes a little polorised. Some people insist MDMA is completely 'safe' whilst other in insist it is poison and will kill you from 30 feet.

Clearly neither view can be correct and adverse effects can be experienced from just one use and excessive use is almost certainly going to cuase problems of some sort.

It seems highly unlikely you are suffering from a problem with serotonin depletion, the evidence around this is far from proven both with regard to the full function of the serotonin system and the impact of MDMA on it. But you have reported that you have been suffering from anxiety and depression symptoms for sometime.

Objectively you seem to have had a severe panic attack triggered by the MDMA and are suffering the fallout, IME this is not uncommon and the ongoing anxiety that you have caused yourself permanent physical damage is feeding into your existent anxiety.

Do you currently receive any treatment for your anxiety ? have you seen your doctor since this incident?
 
Hello coderbrah,

I've had a very similar experience to yours and I'm about 6 weeks into recovery at this point. I can relate to every symptom you list with the addition that I have terrible headaches that last for days sometimes. So yeah, for me, the first couple of weeks were the most intense. I stayed out of the ER or psych ward only bc I got a hold of some anti-anxiety meds that I take only when I can't take anymore. The good news is I have improved and have had a week and days of feeling pretty good, but the symptoms always seem to come back right when I think I'm making real progress. Now, I am mainly experiencing the headaches still - almost daily, slight anxiety but not nearly as bad as before, and the insomnia is still pretty bad. I'm certainly "sharper" than I was a few weeks ago. That is all I can report for now. I am looking for my own hope and comfort to be honest, bc this is living hell at the moment.
 
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rphilli72 said:
Hello coderbrah,

I've had a very similar experience to yours and I'm about 6 weeks into recovery at this point. I can related to every symptom you list with the addition that I have terrible headaches that last for days sometimes. So yeah, for me, the first couple of weeks were the most intense. I stayed out of the ER or psych ward only bc I got a hold of some anti-anxiety meds that I take only when I can't take anymore. The good news is I have improved and have had a week and days of feeling pretty good, but the symptoms always seem to come back right when I think I'm making real progress. Now, I am mainly experiencing the headaches still - almost daily, slight anxiety but not nearly as bad as before, and the insomnia is still pretty bad. I'm certainly "sharper" than I was a few weeks ago. That is all I can report for now. I am looking for my own hope and comfort to be honest, bc this is living hell at the moment.
Click to expand...

HOLD FAST buddy. The fluctuating improvement you are talking about is a very good sign. As the weeks went by for me I would get longer and longer breaks of good days, but I would always be disappointed and end up with a "relapse" of many of the symptoms. After a while the good days will outweigh the bad days, and the bad days won't be nearly as bad.
 
I am not sure what you are getting at scaredfirsttimer? I understand the fluctuating improvement is a good sign. I still have never had a problem for 6 weeks after taking a drug before and have never felt like I have caused permanent brain damage before. So, forgive me, if I'm not exactly jumping for joy just yet. I am not trying to be a smart ass if that is how that came off.

That aside, how long are you talking for your personal recovery?
 
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I sympathize fully with how you feel man, you're not coming off at a smart ass at all. I was trying to say that how you are feeling atm is probably indicating that you will feel better and better and better. I know that might be little consolation considering how big of a change from reality this is. However, all of us suffering from this have to come to terms with it, and realize that recovery probably is a longer process than we want to admit.

I'm about 3,5 months in, and I've improved heaps. Anxiety is mostly gone for me now, that used to be my main problem. I'm clearing up cognitively, and even my sleep seems to be improving. I've been functional enough since month 2, and I've had weeks during the last month where I've felt very close to normal, though I seem to be back in a rut again now. What I'm trying to say is that the bad days I experience now is NOTHING compared to what a bad day was a couple of months ago.

Feel free to PM me if you want.
 
Now that is good to hear. I can handle this if it is a gradually improving probably going to return to normal eventually kind of thing. For a few weeks, I spent my waking hours trying to figure out what to do to not go to the ER. I was fried, really. Or that is what it felt like. Ironically, today was one of my better days in about a week. It's weird bc when the symptoms go away for however long I almost feel happier and more clearheaded than before if that makes any sense.

I wanted to mention to you and the original poster that 5-HTP, at least in my experience, is a complete waste. I did discover something called Purelife Naturals - Powerful Mind that I purchased at Walgreens. It's got a bunch of brain food stuff in it. Anyway, it was one of my worst nights and I was grasping at straws. I had already taken an anti-anxiety pill much earlier in the evening, but on this night that wasn't even sufficing. I literally took one of the supplements thinking if this has no effect I might be going to the ER. About 10 minutes after I took it, my head started tingling in the same spots that were just aching so bad I could barely take it anymore. I started to feel a relaxation take over me and a kind of tension release in my head. The next thing I know I woke up the next morning (probably more like late afternoon) feeling for the first time like I might be ok. Of course, a couple hours later the symptoms started to return, but that was real progress at that point. So, that shit worked for me it seemed especially in the intense portion of my recovery. Just thought I would pass that along.
 
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Thought I'd update you guys a bit on my condition.

It's been 4,5 weeks now and basically all my physical symptoms are gone. I can run for 20-30 minutes, I can do complex coding work on my laptop and all the other symptoms are gone as well.

Right now I'm still dealing with very strong depersonalization/derealization and emotionally I'm a total wreck (I feel very depressed and also very anxious (I am very jumpy).

I'm amazed at my ability to cope with this for so long. Although these psychological symptoms are very nasty I will still soldier on and see this through.
 
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