I decided to start a separate thread about my trip report, the first roll after 10 years of absence. A little background. I was a regular MDMA aficionado back in the mid-90s to late-90s. In the early 00s, I realized that I was putting myself in an emotional hole (MDMA was not the main issue, it was more of a personal depression) and kind of became a detriment to myself and my friends. So I decided to sever myself from everything in my life that wasn’t serving an important function. Since I was feeling particularly nihilistic, I decided to cut out everything hedonistic, i.e. drugs. I kept alcohol around because every saint needs at least one demon to keep him honest 
Fast forward 10 years to the present. Now I’m on a typical corporate track, and have surrounded myself with way too many careerists and bureaucrats as friends. On weekends, I’d rather stay in and read than hang out at overpriced bars guffawing with some of them about distressed funds and money markets.
Then: something inevitable happened. I randomly met a girl that I used to roll with 10 years ago, on a hot day in Manhattan. It felt as though she just tore through time and space and showed up. She’s still a head-turner: half-French and half-Latina, but her hair is black now… Seems that she’s on a similar career track, although she’s in pharmaceuticals. We had a thing for each other back then that we never got to explore. We had some AWESOME rolls together, though, and some of those sessions were intensely erotic.
Anyhoo, we’d been dancing around the notion of perhaps rolling again, just for fun, and this time, it completely made sense for me to try it again, after having given it up for 10 years (btw, I am now 34 y.o. and she is twenty-eight). We set a date, which was the Monday July 26. That’s how I found this site: in prepping for our special date, and a LOT of you were very helpful with specific advice (many thanks).
So I networked and got in touch with a manager at a very exclusive boutique hotel (I am not going to name the hotel, as I don’t want it to show up on google along with this post related to it; the hotel group is one of my firm’s clients, and can’t put it in danger… but if you need personal recommendation, you can PM me.) Booked a big loft suite with a king size bed and a separate sitting area with a fireplace that features a long chaise running beneath the window. What sealed the deal was that the room had a gigantic, round soaking tub, probably the largest tub in any boutique Manhattan hotel, with these glittering mirror tiles. Disco. I booked it for 2 nights just in case.
I got all the toys and goodies for our “Back-2-the-90s” get-together. Extra-strength glowsticks to chuck into the bubble bath. Finger LED lights for laughs (but this turned out to be a crucial toy for the light show in the tub!) Blacklight bulbs to replace the regular ones. The Adam Audio A5 monitors from my office to bump huge tunes (crucial, crucial… never use hotel ipod docks). Eucalyptus-y, mint-y lotions and massage oils from Bath & Bodyworks, as well as the shea butter bubble bath that supposedly made the skin feel incredibly soft according to the salesgirl (Yes, it was true!). All kinds of drinks and Vicks products. Trust me, I brought it all… basically looked like a fool lugging all those items into the hotel. I couldn’t focus on anything other than the special night for 2 weeks leading up to this past Monday.
So Monday happened. For those of you who need a quick summary of the night? It was ridiculous. Beyond belief. My girl walked in, looking crazy stunning. I was seated at the hotel lobby/lounge, sipping a caipirinha, from which vantage point I could see her getting out of her Lincoln and through the door. She had this really conservative black dress on, but she has the kind of body that no conservatism can rein in check… I told her so and got her a drink. It was 4:30 pm. In the middle of our drinks, I asked her when we should take the pills and she said now is as good as any. Definitely agreed. Saw that the pills she brought were Blue Stars. Her original contact fell through and she brought them, but said her friend vouched for them. Not exactly the kind of ringing endorsement I was looking for. I know that some people had bad experiences with them, although I’ve also seen good accounts.
Anyway, we each took one. And – I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t eat anything for 24 hrs or b/c I hadn’t rolled in 10 years – but in about 15 minutes, I noticed the beautifully dimmed lights of the hotel bar glowing with a special kind of incandescence. My palms felt different, and I knew this feeling… wow… it was happening quickly. The music was typical downtempo chill electronica they play at vapid, overpriced lounge bars in Manhattan, but it sounded very liquid and pleasurable. I told my girl that I was starting and she said she was, too, and she wanted to move the action back to our room.
I’d excessively tipped the hotel serviceman to bring 50+ votive candles, so when we got to the room, I took the lighter and lit all of them. Turned the black lights on. Blasted the 3-hr long mix that I’d specially put together for her. And the roll was feeling just right. Not intensely speedy, just sensual in the right way. My hand-eye coordination was already pretty slow… but wow, I couldn’t believe how GOOD it felt to the senses, primarily.
My girl excused herself, and when she came back, she was in this crazy fishnet suit with nothing underneath! I’d mentioned it to her in passing, reading about it, and she remembered and wanted to surprise me. Holy crap. I started to rip the suit, but funny enough, the kind she bought had parts that were impossible to tear down, hehehe. So we started caressing each other and making out with her half-torn bodysuit, which was beyond hot for me.
Then she removed her bodysuit in a traditional way, and her skin felt just MOLTEN to my touch. We went into bed, beneath the comforter and she got on top of me, and we made out more… but here’s the funny part: I’d envisioned our get-together as this hedonistic sexcapade (which it partly was) but it instead got VERY tender, emotionally. We were basically making love, then we stopped b/c obviously I couldn’t come and I had all night and the following day. And while she was on top of me with all her delicious weight on me, she asked me about my life. And I just started sharing with her. Very easily. By this point, I wasn’t completely floored yet and I still had lucidity of thought, and the first thing I realized was that I really hadn’t had a meaningful conversation with anyone for a very long time. Either that or I myself have become so used to putting up false airs and pretensions as to avoid such situations.
Then she shared some incredible stories about her past that I never knew, even when we were hooking up way back then. Just really heavy stuff. Like how her stepfather turned her out to sex clients when she was 12 y.o., and she thought that was what she was supposed to do. But what was beautiful about her disposition about her past was that she refused to blame him for it, and even told me about the good qualities that he had, as incredibly flawed and messed-up as he was. And it felt as though I’d received a treasure. I couldn't help but be moved by the fact that she actually made something good out of herself, and even though she has this physical beauty, she’d always had this really positive outlook even when I knew her years ago, and given the context of her story, it amplified her beauty for me. And the TRUE roll started… I looked into her eyes, and they seemed to pool with something darker than tears, something soulful, damaged, but beautiful… something stronger than myself. We kissed for a very long time.
Then we moved to the soaking tub and took one more pill each. Wow. I’d made the right call. We ran the bubble bath, moved the music into the bathroom, and just BLASTED my mix, which was very heavy & erotically tinged. Lit some more candles. Threw in the glowsticks. We sat in there and could not keep our hands off each other. Gravity-free, we could just freely engage and flow into different sexual positions, rough at one turn, and slow and sensual in others… and she has an oral fixation to begin with, and she would break from usual activities with a loooong, intense bouts of oral (I reciprocated, obviously, a total pleasure for me). It was just no holds-barred, sensual experience... and it went on for HOURS, my gawd… and nothing was taboo. Anal, which I'm never fond of doing to a girl, was unbearably fantastic; when we got hot from the bath, I poured some Veuve Clicquot down each of her lovely breasts and licked it off, and she got off it, huge, shivering and moaning. We turned on the cold shower that came from the rain showerhead and made love standing up. Obviously I couldn’t come, but I was happy that she could.
I broke out the finger LED lights as a jokey thing, but they were AWESOME in giving her light shows. She was rolling FACE, and got really aroused by the light show and what I was doing. We were both rolling hardcore, and realized 6 hours passed. She gave me adderall. We moved the action back to the room and the bed, and we resumed just really eating each other up. Grooving to the music, intermittently making really passionate love... the whole night was just a long stretch of longing.
The dawn broke and I wanted to take care of her when she came down, so I convinced her to stay one more night. She kind of twitched into sleep eventually, waking up often to snuggle next to me. And I think that was my favorite part of the whole experience. Just seeing her in my arms, full of trust, and thinking of what transpired. I couldn’t sleep (thanks, Adderall).
When we woke up at 1 pm, we fucked with a vengeance, and after a few hours, I finally came… what a relief. We were very tired, but not in a depressive state, probably because we had each other and could bask in each other’s afterglow. We were dehydrated and although not hungry, I wanted her to eat something just for the sake of having something in her stomach, and took her to my favorite Sushi place in Manhattan, Sushi Gari. She loved the food, and could eat a few pieces actually. My plan was to go up to the 58th Street where there are piano shops b/c she wanted me to play for her, but the air was humid and I didn’t want to stand a risk of either one of us passing out or something in our walk. So we came back to the cool room of the hotel, and she sat me down and basically removed my pants and started to blow me again… she was incredibly horny… I was, too, but she was definitely more so.
We both talked and took a nap for 7 hours or so. When we woke up, it was 9. It felt so good… we started the bath again but decided not to take remaining pills as we both had work next day. (See, back in the 90s, those pills would have been goners). In the bathtub, I gave her the light show again, and combined with the hot bath water, the roll came back pretty good! She was really digging the show again, and again, very much turned on… and made me watch her masturbate. I swear: I've never seen a sexier sight than that in my life. After, she gave me this intense handjob while looking at me, and the handjob lasted for about 40 minutes… at the end, the orgasm felt so overwhelming that I kind of lost the feeling in both my arms… =P Then I gave her a really deep-tissue massage and the girl literally fell asleep in the shallow bath, and again, I was filled with such tenderness for this girl…
We moved to the bed and we slept. Or she slept and I watched her. I put on some Bon Iver, then some Bach cello. And she was just a lamb on the bed. It was bliss. I felt content. I felt at home. I felt true to myself. I felt love and I felt something greater than my small self.
We checked out the next day, and she thanked me profusely for all the lengths I went through for our occasion. Kissed each other. Told me how she always felt about me. We each took our cab back to our works directly.
Some practical things I took as lessons from my experience of rolling for the first time in 10 years: don’t take Adderall if I want at least some semblance of sleep. Always book for two nights so you can take care of your girl when she comes down: I’ve never come down from MDMA with such pleasure before. Just the picture and the sensation of your girl resting, nestled against you, fills you with immense happiness. Finger LED lights are necessities. Get decent speakers into the hotel. Bath products. Over-planning in an OCD manner is always better than under-planning.
Some surprising things I took away from my experience: I thought I remembered, but I quite forgot how one becomes filled with tenderness for another person. I was so shallow in primarily desiring this wanton lust-filled getaway… and I was surprised by what I felt emotionally, how things reached me down to the core. My greatest pleasure of my two nights with the special girl was seeing her take pleasure in everything... I was touched that she felt so touched at the lengths I'd gone through to think things out. This is not a boast but a pure proof of our years and the aging process: there is no way in hell I would have thought to do so back when I was in my early 20s. Blue Star - I liked them. Come down wasn't as vicious as I thought it would be, and 2 pills were perfect for the night.
So all in all, what would I say about rolling for the first time in 10 years? It was better in many respects to my first roll ever. Purely sensationally speaking, it felt as good as any time I’d rolled before because I hadn’t done it in a long time. Perhaps the only edge that my virgin experience had over my Monday experience is that back then, I had no idea what to expect and when it hit, it hit like a freight train. But this time, the roll hit me rapidly and it felt more like a sensation that I’d lost which I longed for. And combined with perfect company and setting, I doubt I’d forget it until the day I die.
Fast forward 10 years to the present. Now I’m on a typical corporate track, and have surrounded myself with way too many careerists and bureaucrats as friends. On weekends, I’d rather stay in and read than hang out at overpriced bars guffawing with some of them about distressed funds and money markets.
Then: something inevitable happened. I randomly met a girl that I used to roll with 10 years ago, on a hot day in Manhattan. It felt as though she just tore through time and space and showed up. She’s still a head-turner: half-French and half-Latina, but her hair is black now… Seems that she’s on a similar career track, although she’s in pharmaceuticals. We had a thing for each other back then that we never got to explore. We had some AWESOME rolls together, though, and some of those sessions were intensely erotic.
Anyhoo, we’d been dancing around the notion of perhaps rolling again, just for fun, and this time, it completely made sense for me to try it again, after having given it up for 10 years (btw, I am now 34 y.o. and she is twenty-eight). We set a date, which was the Monday July 26. That’s how I found this site: in prepping for our special date, and a LOT of you were very helpful with specific advice (many thanks).
So I networked and got in touch with a manager at a very exclusive boutique hotel (I am not going to name the hotel, as I don’t want it to show up on google along with this post related to it; the hotel group is one of my firm’s clients, and can’t put it in danger… but if you need personal recommendation, you can PM me.) Booked a big loft suite with a king size bed and a separate sitting area with a fireplace that features a long chaise running beneath the window. What sealed the deal was that the room had a gigantic, round soaking tub, probably the largest tub in any boutique Manhattan hotel, with these glittering mirror tiles. Disco. I booked it for 2 nights just in case.
I got all the toys and goodies for our “Back-2-the-90s” get-together. Extra-strength glowsticks to chuck into the bubble bath. Finger LED lights for laughs (but this turned out to be a crucial toy for the light show in the tub!) Blacklight bulbs to replace the regular ones. The Adam Audio A5 monitors from my office to bump huge tunes (crucial, crucial… never use hotel ipod docks). Eucalyptus-y, mint-y lotions and massage oils from Bath & Bodyworks, as well as the shea butter bubble bath that supposedly made the skin feel incredibly soft according to the salesgirl (Yes, it was true!). All kinds of drinks and Vicks products. Trust me, I brought it all… basically looked like a fool lugging all those items into the hotel. I couldn’t focus on anything other than the special night for 2 weeks leading up to this past Monday.
So Monday happened. For those of you who need a quick summary of the night? It was ridiculous. Beyond belief. My girl walked in, looking crazy stunning. I was seated at the hotel lobby/lounge, sipping a caipirinha, from which vantage point I could see her getting out of her Lincoln and through the door. She had this really conservative black dress on, but she has the kind of body that no conservatism can rein in check… I told her so and got her a drink. It was 4:30 pm. In the middle of our drinks, I asked her when we should take the pills and she said now is as good as any. Definitely agreed. Saw that the pills she brought were Blue Stars. Her original contact fell through and she brought them, but said her friend vouched for them. Not exactly the kind of ringing endorsement I was looking for. I know that some people had bad experiences with them, although I’ve also seen good accounts.
Anyway, we each took one. And – I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t eat anything for 24 hrs or b/c I hadn’t rolled in 10 years – but in about 15 minutes, I noticed the beautifully dimmed lights of the hotel bar glowing with a special kind of incandescence. My palms felt different, and I knew this feeling… wow… it was happening quickly. The music was typical downtempo chill electronica they play at vapid, overpriced lounge bars in Manhattan, but it sounded very liquid and pleasurable. I told my girl that I was starting and she said she was, too, and she wanted to move the action back to our room.
I’d excessively tipped the hotel serviceman to bring 50+ votive candles, so when we got to the room, I took the lighter and lit all of them. Turned the black lights on. Blasted the 3-hr long mix that I’d specially put together for her. And the roll was feeling just right. Not intensely speedy, just sensual in the right way. My hand-eye coordination was already pretty slow… but wow, I couldn’t believe how GOOD it felt to the senses, primarily.
My girl excused herself, and when she came back, she was in this crazy fishnet suit with nothing underneath! I’d mentioned it to her in passing, reading about it, and she remembered and wanted to surprise me. Holy crap. I started to rip the suit, but funny enough, the kind she bought had parts that were impossible to tear down, hehehe. So we started caressing each other and making out with her half-torn bodysuit, which was beyond hot for me.
Then she removed her bodysuit in a traditional way, and her skin felt just MOLTEN to my touch. We went into bed, beneath the comforter and she got on top of me, and we made out more… but here’s the funny part: I’d envisioned our get-together as this hedonistic sexcapade (which it partly was) but it instead got VERY tender, emotionally. We were basically making love, then we stopped b/c obviously I couldn’t come and I had all night and the following day. And while she was on top of me with all her delicious weight on me, she asked me about my life. And I just started sharing with her. Very easily. By this point, I wasn’t completely floored yet and I still had lucidity of thought, and the first thing I realized was that I really hadn’t had a meaningful conversation with anyone for a very long time. Either that or I myself have become so used to putting up false airs and pretensions as to avoid such situations.
Then she shared some incredible stories about her past that I never knew, even when we were hooking up way back then. Just really heavy stuff. Like how her stepfather turned her out to sex clients when she was 12 y.o., and she thought that was what she was supposed to do. But what was beautiful about her disposition about her past was that she refused to blame him for it, and even told me about the good qualities that he had, as incredibly flawed and messed-up as he was. And it felt as though I’d received a treasure. I couldn't help but be moved by the fact that she actually made something good out of herself, and even though she has this physical beauty, she’d always had this really positive outlook even when I knew her years ago, and given the context of her story, it amplified her beauty for me. And the TRUE roll started… I looked into her eyes, and they seemed to pool with something darker than tears, something soulful, damaged, but beautiful… something stronger than myself. We kissed for a very long time.
Then we moved to the soaking tub and took one more pill each. Wow. I’d made the right call. We ran the bubble bath, moved the music into the bathroom, and just BLASTED my mix, which was very heavy & erotically tinged. Lit some more candles. Threw in the glowsticks. We sat in there and could not keep our hands off each other. Gravity-free, we could just freely engage and flow into different sexual positions, rough at one turn, and slow and sensual in others… and she has an oral fixation to begin with, and she would break from usual activities with a loooong, intense bouts of oral (I reciprocated, obviously, a total pleasure for me). It was just no holds-barred, sensual experience... and it went on for HOURS, my gawd… and nothing was taboo. Anal, which I'm never fond of doing to a girl, was unbearably fantastic; when we got hot from the bath, I poured some Veuve Clicquot down each of her lovely breasts and licked it off, and she got off it, huge, shivering and moaning. We turned on the cold shower that came from the rain showerhead and made love standing up. Obviously I couldn’t come, but I was happy that she could.
I broke out the finger LED lights as a jokey thing, but they were AWESOME in giving her light shows. She was rolling FACE, and got really aroused by the light show and what I was doing. We were both rolling hardcore, and realized 6 hours passed. She gave me adderall. We moved the action back to the room and the bed, and we resumed just really eating each other up. Grooving to the music, intermittently making really passionate love... the whole night was just a long stretch of longing.
The dawn broke and I wanted to take care of her when she came down, so I convinced her to stay one more night. She kind of twitched into sleep eventually, waking up often to snuggle next to me. And I think that was my favorite part of the whole experience. Just seeing her in my arms, full of trust, and thinking of what transpired. I couldn’t sleep (thanks, Adderall).
When we woke up at 1 pm, we fucked with a vengeance, and after a few hours, I finally came… what a relief. We were very tired, but not in a depressive state, probably because we had each other and could bask in each other’s afterglow. We were dehydrated and although not hungry, I wanted her to eat something just for the sake of having something in her stomach, and took her to my favorite Sushi place in Manhattan, Sushi Gari. She loved the food, and could eat a few pieces actually. My plan was to go up to the 58th Street where there are piano shops b/c she wanted me to play for her, but the air was humid and I didn’t want to stand a risk of either one of us passing out or something in our walk. So we came back to the cool room of the hotel, and she sat me down and basically removed my pants and started to blow me again… she was incredibly horny… I was, too, but she was definitely more so.
We both talked and took a nap for 7 hours or so. When we woke up, it was 9. It felt so good… we started the bath again but decided not to take remaining pills as we both had work next day. (See, back in the 90s, those pills would have been goners). In the bathtub, I gave her the light show again, and combined with the hot bath water, the roll came back pretty good! She was really digging the show again, and again, very much turned on… and made me watch her masturbate. I swear: I've never seen a sexier sight than that in my life. After, she gave me this intense handjob while looking at me, and the handjob lasted for about 40 minutes… at the end, the orgasm felt so overwhelming that I kind of lost the feeling in both my arms… =P Then I gave her a really deep-tissue massage and the girl literally fell asleep in the shallow bath, and again, I was filled with such tenderness for this girl…
We moved to the bed and we slept. Or she slept and I watched her. I put on some Bon Iver, then some Bach cello. And she was just a lamb on the bed. It was bliss. I felt content. I felt at home. I felt true to myself. I felt love and I felt something greater than my small self.
We checked out the next day, and she thanked me profusely for all the lengths I went through for our occasion. Kissed each other. Told me how she always felt about me. We each took our cab back to our works directly.
Some practical things I took as lessons from my experience of rolling for the first time in 10 years: don’t take Adderall if I want at least some semblance of sleep. Always book for two nights so you can take care of your girl when she comes down: I’ve never come down from MDMA with such pleasure before. Just the picture and the sensation of your girl resting, nestled against you, fills you with immense happiness. Finger LED lights are necessities. Get decent speakers into the hotel. Bath products. Over-planning in an OCD manner is always better than under-planning.
Some surprising things I took away from my experience: I thought I remembered, but I quite forgot how one becomes filled with tenderness for another person. I was so shallow in primarily desiring this wanton lust-filled getaway… and I was surprised by what I felt emotionally, how things reached me down to the core. My greatest pleasure of my two nights with the special girl was seeing her take pleasure in everything... I was touched that she felt so touched at the lengths I'd gone through to think things out. This is not a boast but a pure proof of our years and the aging process: there is no way in hell I would have thought to do so back when I was in my early 20s. Blue Star - I liked them. Come down wasn't as vicious as I thought it would be, and 2 pills were perfect for the night.
So all in all, what would I say about rolling for the first time in 10 years? It was better in many respects to my first roll ever. Purely sensationally speaking, it felt as good as any time I’d rolled before because I hadn’t done it in a long time. Perhaps the only edge that my virgin experience had over my Monday experience is that back then, I had no idea what to expect and when it hit, it hit like a freight train. But this time, the roll hit me rapidly and it felt more like a sensation that I’d lost which I longed for. And combined with perfect company and setting, I doubt I’d forget it until the day I die.
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