MDMA + Relationships

[rapbattle1222]

Hi everyone. Just wondering if MDMA really can be used for couple's therapy. Has anyone used it with an ex or current boyfriend/girlfriend and worked out problems and fell in love again?

Me and my ex are about to take MDMA together, but I was wondering if it has the potential to get us back together? I am not saying that it's going to, but does it have the potential to? Personal stories about relationship conflicts and taking MDMA or taking MDMA with an ex fixing a relationship or making it worse would be awesome! My ex-gf broke up with me because she said she was not "in love" with me but loves me. Will MDMA spark her forgotten love for me? Will we be able to talk and feel empathetic and more connected with each other? And will these effects/ feelings last after not being on the pill?

 

[LilbabiC]

I know that MDMA has been used by trained professionals in therapy sessions. I don't think you'd be able to use it properly to achieve the desired effects if you aren't a therapist. Just my opinion though.

 

[Mel22]

Your ex-girlfriend broke up with you because she has lost feelings for you. I imagine that this occurred over time, and the loss of feelings would be due to a combination of factors. These situations are generally quite complex. Unfortunately, a single MDMA experience is very unlikely to completely change the situation. You may very well get back together, but the underlying cause for the break up will obviously not be dealt with.

The situation you're in really sucks, and you are very likely to feel some strong emotions during the experience. I hope that if all does not go as hoped that you can move on and find someone that reciprocates your feelings.

 

[shishigami]

I doubt it could respark love in the greater than a day time-frame. Maybe during the experience. I would not roll with someone I used to date because I feel like emotions could get out of hand quickly and you could very easily be hurting after the experience.

Rolling with someone in a relationship was magical. Really just fantastic.

 

[jam uh weezy]

i haven't read anything of great significance regarding use of MDMA in relationship counseling/therapy(other than personal testimony of course!)...but yes I know therapists who were fortunate to be able to experiment with it in the 70's and 80's did use it with favorable results. if anyone knows of any literature from these times it would be greatly appreciated if you could send it in!

It's clear to me why it would be so beneficial in such a setting. Personally, I find that MDMA facilitates communication and allows people to overcome language barriers, but only if that is something they are initially seeking before the fact of ingesting the substance. Like many psychedelics, i feel that MDMA won't allow magic to happen where magic is not wanted. However, the "magic" or results you seek may surface in an unexpected way. It's likely(although not impossible) that MDMA will not magically cause your girlfriend to "fall in love" with you again, however maybe the experience will allow her to figure out exactly why the spark was lost, as well as enhance your own self-understanding.

That's not to say that it does not spark or rekindle loving relationships...I met my current girlfriend whilst we were both under the influence, and we have been together for the past 2.5 years. But perhaps this was luck. I can recall "falling in love" with a girl or two before her, only to find that we weren't that compatible after coming down.

There was another girl, Alex, before I met my current girlfriend, who I really had a great experience rolling with. Nothing sexual or romantic even, but as we got to know each other I developed a healthy attraction for her. I decided to 'make my move' on one occasion where we would both be rolling....However the whole experience(or rather my expectations of it) ended up being the cause of much emotional anguish for me: The MDMA did not magically facilitate any relationship between us, because she wasn't looking for one.

So yea, it can definitely help. Maybe not in the ways you would expect. Will you guys be rolling just you two? Maybe talk with her about what you two both want out of the experience; but more importantly don't set too many expectations or try influence the outcome.

As far as the "feelings last after not being on the pill?", only time will tell...Trust your intuition, whatever happens will happen!

Hope that helps

 

[pofacedhoe]

hmm mdma can dredge up past feelings and make you falsely feel love for a short time which may confuse the two of you and lead to a longer more protracted break up.

it sounds like she doesn't find you sexually attractive any more so keep banging on that door if you want to feel bad in the future. cauterise now and move on quicker so you have more real opportunites with new ladies.

when someone loves you but isn't "in love" with you it means they no longer see you as viable relationship/sex material. harsh but true

 

[tzeentch]

I've used it with my better half to work through extremely difficult issues -- both personal and in our relationship. She is actually a trained mediator, so she has mad skillz in this area.

We create an outline of our discussion the week before our roll. Then we only take a mild dose (~75mg). We go for a walk until we come up, and then we sit down for our therapy session.

The biggest thing to point out is that we both actually want to work through something. We have specific goals in mind for our discussion, i.e. we are going to come to a resolution regarding "topic x".

I know a couple of other couples that do something similar.

We all agree that it is much easier to listen to the other person and get a better understanding of their viewpoint. This in turn helps us work through difficult issues or come up with workable compromises.

I can't imagine finding the spark again, since one the drugs wear off, the feelings are gone.

 

[Lysis]

This is exactly why I won't do drugs with an ex-BF....there is always some attempt to make a move by some party. lol

Taking any drug puts you in an altered state of mind for however many hours. I'm sure it can strengthen what is already there, but whatever happens during that time is completely an illusion that will fade when the drug wears off. Don't kid yourself into thinking it's anything more than that.

 

[Stoned Immaculate]

If you're set on doing this with him, don't have any sort of expectations from the MDMA itself or from him.

You're both going to be in an emotionally vulnerable place and most likely say things you're feeling at the time. It's not a bad idea to discuss prior issues though. You both may get some closure on previous problems and it may strengthen your relationship as friends or maybe more. However, do keep in mind that once that drug wears off, he may very well just go right back to the same feelings he had before you decided to roll together.

I did this for over a year after an indiscretion in my last relationship. My ex would tell me that he forgave me, he loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, have babies with me. All of these things were said to me repeatedly while we rolled. We would discuss any problem or issues we had and it felt like it was resolved before the night was over. But those feelings would fade and we'd be right back to where we were before within a few days or even weeks. Just don't allow the situation to get your hopes up.