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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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Actually I used them as a foundation to a better life, MDMA abuse left me dazed and depressed. Exercise and a short 10 week test cycle, in the shape of my life, back in school, re motivated in every aspect, also put me on the path for self- improvement. Personal opinion steroid side effects are exaggerated, take hcg (no testicular probs), take armidex (No estrogen problems), Run PCT (back to normal). I also loveeeee Nootropics
 
Nobody should be using steroids without a doctor saying that they need them. Your personal opinion doesn't matter. The facts state that they are dangerous and they should be treated as such. There is plenty of scientific evidence to back up the dangers of using steroids, dangers that are very real, which is quite the opposite of the dangers most drugs are said to have.
 
Yes you are right they can be dangerous I agree! However, that's just my personal success story and I wanted to share it, and let's be completely honest here, doctors don't have a half a clue what they prescribe.
Doctors are what I like to call Glorified Drug Dealers. And check this out too, Arnold became Mr .Olympia, a movie-star, and Governor it's not about steroids personally, it's more of a success-related mindset if you will.
I like to think everyone's opinion matters if they didn't there would be no such thing as forums lol.
 
I didn't mean it in that your opinion doesn't matter at all. I meant in terms of harm reduction, it doesn't matter. There's a huge difference lol.

I know all too well about doctors being glorified drug dealers... trust me, I've been a guinea pig for quite some time now.

The thing is that from a harm reduction standpoint, steroids are risky, especially when you put them in someone who is messed in the head (drugs or otherwise).
 
I haven't posted here in a while but I will say it's been a few months since I started on a 10mg dose of Lexapro. I have now adjusted downwards to 7.5mg and still feel good. It's been a month since I dropped it to 7.5mg. In a few months when this nasty winter passes I'll be readjusting to 5mg and from there hopefully coming off it entirely.

The problem didn't go away completely when I got on Lexapro but 90% of it did. It also helped me stop thinking about the issue 100% of the time. Because if you're feeling fine or at least much better, you automatically won't be thinking as much as you used to. Not to say I don't think about it all, I still put 50% of my thoughts into it, but it's no longer 100% as I did before the meds. And that is the key to getting better.

When I started on the SSRI, I slowly got better week after week. Very slowly, but there as an improvement. First few weeks I was very doubtful, but then I realized "THIS IS REALLY WORKING". I used to get VERY VERY TIRED as soon as I thought of anything having to do with my anxiety. I mean, just a single thought would make me yawn. After getting on Lexapro it took like 3 months for that to finally go away.

All I can say is start on an SSRI. Start on a small dose (5mg) and see if that does ANYTHING. I saw a TINY improvement, so then moved up to 10mg and realized that was a good dosage. But I could've done more, such as 20mg and even went beyond the recommended dosage.

Good luck to every one.
 
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None of us are doctors. SSRIs are not the answer for everyone and everyone should be consulting a doctor and discussing the risks before starting any medication. Any time anyone brings up that you should take a medication, I'm going to give a harm reduction statement. It would be the same thing if everyone started recommending benzos (which has happened before) or even if everyone started recommending a supplement!

When you're in a sensitive state, the best thing you can do for yourself is eat healthy and exercise. It takes time to heal. Pills quite often cause more problems than they help. This is a fact. I don't see how I'm giving people the wrong advice by urging them to avoid serotonergic drugs in their recovery. Your advice to take an SSRI has more potential to be damaging than my advice to avoid them. The brain WILL recover on its own without the need for meds that can cause additional problems. End of story.

If you take shortcuts in your recovery, you risk screwing things up more. If you're willing to take that risk, then fine, but don't go recommending everyone else follow your decision and not expect someone to refute it.
 
MagicalKat, if you want to do harm reduction, you should first start with all the recommendations here for 5HTP.

Because I took a standard 100mg time release dose of that and my anxiety was two fold after a single dose. Then that's when I REALLY needed help and finally caved for the SSRI, which ended up being the best decision.

Anyway off BL for another few months but wishing everyone the best!
 
ShytK said:
MagicalKat, if you want to do harm reduction, you should first start with all the recommendations here for 5HTP.

Because I took a standard 100mg time release dose of that and my anxiety was two fold after a single dose. Then that's when I REALLY needed help and finally caved for the SSRI, which ended up being the best decision.

Anyway off BL for another few months but wishing everyone the best!
Click to expand...

I haven't seen a 5-HTP recommendation lately unless I missed something.

I am against 5-HTP as well. And have been for quite some time. Same as SSRIs. I've seen it help people but I've seen it hurt people. At least not taking something doesn't make things worse. That's really the big thing.

Maybe its my experience that I have gone through and continue to go through with benzos that has changed the way I think about these things. Benzos are by far the worst experience I've ever had in terms of withdrawal side effects and it seems like anything that "helps" the symptoms actually makes the problem worse in the end. All I can do is directly and slowly taper. There is no shortcut.
 
I agree that benzos are no good. I took them twice and it heightened my anxiety when it wore off.

Same happened with 5HTP.

And finally, the biggest drug I'd never touch is MDMA.

On a side note, I always had a sensitivity to whatever was in RedBull's. Maybe caffeine, maybe something else. Pepsi as well. When I was younger I used to drink 5 cans+ of pepsi per day and then had intense pains in my abdomen but couldn't quit for a while because I was so addicted. Well when I quit the abdominal pain was even worse! Had a camera put in my large int., and even a camera in my stomach. No ulcers, no nothing. I was 100% perfect. How can it be? Eventually it went away. Then I started practicing a lot of motocross and got hooked on Red Bulls. Same pains came and went but only lasted a few hours. Sometimes the pain was there, sometimes not.

How can tests of my internals show nothing on camera or any blood tests yet I had these issues? Perhaps it was all nerve related. And perhaps whatever was in the MDMA I took, was the same thing that's in REdbull/Pepsi except x100. That's what I've been thinking lately. Perhaps it's just MDMA that is very stressful on the body? I don't know. But I do know one thing, other than Western Medicine that I must take to get better, I will not ever touch other drugs that alter my mind.

If I must drink caffeine, it'll be decaf.
 
PS
To those recovering, I noticed playing COD Ghosts on multiplayer has really helped alot. Your mind will be off the situation 100% everytime you play, I guarantee it!
 
^ Caffeine is an extremely common additive in MDMA and I have a problem with it too. The interesting thing is that I never had problems with caffeine (and in fact drank a LOT of it) until I started using MDA (MDMA was virtually non-existent in Denver when I started rolling). VERY shortly after I started using pills that were MDA in combination with caffeine and occasionally meth (per ecstasydata submissions), I began having panic attacks and now I have a complete intolerance for caffeine in any amount. It wouldn't surprise me if there was some mechanism that MDMA and the other drugs in the family have that makes caffeine sensitivity go through the roof.
 
Well that is strange. I never had a problem with caffeine when it was in tea. As soon as I drank 1 redbull I had an issue most of the time. Yet 10 teas did nothing.

I do think there may be a connection, but I don't really want to sit here and try to solve it and make my brain hurt trying to think what it can be. I just want to forget about it all and just move on with life.
 
I haven't experimented with tea... After seeing what coffee did, I just avoid all sources of caffeine.

Tea has theanine in it though, which offsets anxiogenic responses to caffeine. A lot of people that can't handle caffeine can drink tea all day with no issues.
 
Guys please don't mess with steroids without physician supervision. They can really mess you up including making your blood sugar skyrocket, making your bones brittle, cause stomach ulcers, decrease your immunity, distribute fat in your face and midsection. And if you taper them off the wrong way you can go into adrenal failure.

At the end of the day, there is no known contraindication to using SSRIs for MDMA recovery. There is no evidence anywhere on how to properly treat MDMA damage. We are afraid of SSRI because of possible further detrimental effects on our recovery, but all the supplements people take on here could be damaging as well. Everything can have an effect on the brain: even drinking too much water can cause altered conciousness or seizures.

I still think if one has hit a roadblock in recovery, I would consider trying medications to alleviate specific symptoms. Certain medications may not work for everyone, and certain medications may not work with MDMA induced damage. The problem is that no one knows what works consistently for this condition. But if you're stuck they are probably worth trying.

Ultimately the realization that your brain is not the same as is once was is the true key to "recovery". It responds differently to external stimuli compared to before, it processes information differently, it makes different associations. You may have become a different person, but that is ok. With enough training, your brain still has the building blocks to make new associations, and new triggers that elicit different emotions, and new ways of processing information. This type of training is a recovery process that is not measured in months, but years.
 
It is reckless saying that supplements could be damaging but there is no evidence that SSRIs can be. SSRIs can be damaging in people who don't have problems because of drugs, its foolish to think that people who have problems because of drugs would be just fine.

Anything that alters the way that the brain functions, drug or otherwise, has the potential to worsen your problems. The only safe things are proper diet, exercise, and time. Nothing else can be regarded as safe.
 
I'm not saying SSRIs are not damaging. They definitely have side effects in some people, whether they have MDMA induced damage or not. However, taking too many supplements can also side effects. Too much fish oil can cause bleeding, too much vitamin A has been linked to pseudotumor cerebri, etc etc

The issue is to find the treatment with the best benefit to risk ratio. Since there is no medical literature available on this, we just don't know that that treatment is. Healthy living and exercise definitely have low risk, but not everyone recovers from this alone, so the ratio is not optimal from this treatment alone in some people. Medications may have higher risk, but in some people they may provide more benefit. We just don't know in which people and which type of medication.

Bottom line is that healthy living alone may not provide the most optimal benefit to risk ratio in everyone. In those that are stuck in their recovery with just conservative measures alone, trying other measures to alleviate symptoms may be necessary if they are no longer improving. Unless you can provide me with data that shows SSRIs are detrimental in patients with MDMA damage, your experience is anecdotal. Ultimately you may be right that SSRIs are horrible in people with MDMA damage, but right now there is no proof of that. For every one of you, there is someone who improved with SSRI, and someone who reached a stalemate in recovery with just healthy living alone.
 
The only thing that I'm saying is that people recommending supplements and people recommending medications are both giving potentially damaging advice. The only explicitly safe way to go about recovery when it comes to MDMA is healthy living and time.

You're right that there isn't enough medical research on the subject. Hopefully that changes some day.

I don't agree with you that given enough time you won't heal from MDMA-induced damage, however. People are just impatient. The damage from one night of abuse can take many years to heal. That's just how it is. I think using bandaids is asking for trouble. I've tried a number of them and I know people who have tried a number of them. There are always consequences to everything, it just takes time to see what they are.

If something works for someone, that's fine. But I'm tired of seeing this outright "take this" garbage that people say to take supplement X or take drug Y. Everybody is different and that's the point.
 
I'm not trying to be confrontational either. Sorry if I'm coming across that way.

There truly isn't any evidence one way or the other which is unfortunate. I don't think that you will ever recover 100% - hell the first time I rolled, my math abilities immediately and permanently went out the window.

I'm talking more about the emotional and psychological effects. Most of the cognitive deficits are likely to be quite long-lasting, if not permanent. I have pretty much accepted that at this point.

I'm not recovered yet either. I'm maybe at the 40% mark from where I was before I started rolling and I haven't rolled since 2011. With that said, I am only 141 days in with no alcohol or tobacco and that seems to have made some nice strides. In fact, I was probably at the 20% recovery mark before those 141 days. I really did a number on myself with the drugs. I blame MDMA primarily but the mephedrone and methylone definitely played a role as well.

I think its important to lay out that for all of my talk about warning people against medications and supplements, I am going to be discussing options with my psychiatrist today. I'm considering a mirtazapine, lamotrigine, and clorazepate combination. I'm not entirely against meds. I'm just against people who go around saying that something is a cure like it will work for everyone. I guess I should have made that point much earlier rather than all of my posts that came off as flat out being argumentative but as I said, I'm in recovery too and my brain doesn't really work the way that it used to.

So I am going to lay this out - if a medication or a supplement works for anyone, by all means post about it, but leave a comment that you're not a doctor or what works for you may not work for everyone, etc., because quite often people will see something that is posted as if it is fact and take it as fact and then come back later to say how bad of an idea it was. I'm sure that all of us have been at those low points where we are so low that we hear something and don't think twice, try it, then get burned. Lets try to avoid giving people the impression that something is going to work for everyone because it worked for them. We all have our own recovery process. <3
 
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