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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Anybody went through this exact experience of feelings and cycle and made it to a fully recovery or at least a sustainable 90% over the years without relapses? I had 4 relapses in 6 years.
 
Macenroe said:
Today I had a horrible morning with symptoms of panic and social anxiety, and this evening felt almost recovered like 90%, just a bit of derealization like things are not 100% right and my eyes in the mirror still disconnected from my soul but no other symptoms. I could live with this 90% the rest of my life. I am scared of going to bed and wake up with symptoms again, always the same full cycle! Feels like groundhog day!!!
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Cortisol spikes at the morning and you're more prone to the anxiety effects. You can keep a betablocker like propranolol around you to kill most of it's effects. I'm familiar with relapses too, will write in more detail when I get back home
 
Hi,guys!
21 months of LTC.
I feel great and motivated.
No symptoms at all.
I hope everyone gonna be alright like me soon.
If you need medical help , don’t waste your time and just do it.
 
AntoniDimitrov said:
Hi,guys!
21 months of LTC.
I feel great and motivated.
No symptoms at all.
I hope everyone gonna be alright like me soon.
If you need medical help , don’t waste your time and just do it.
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Good to hear this man. Which medication are you on right now?
 
@Macenroe


Now about the relapses... I've experienced many. Trial and error for 30~ months. Tried countless of things and combinations and found what really keeps me away from them.

From the supplements... the biggest help from the countless I've tried is creatine monohydrate, alone this supplement after 2 weeks of usage gives me much easier time handling LTC/anxiety. The other thing is consuming a lot of Omega 3, now there's different sources, but you should aim for one highest in EPA/DHA content, also in lowest in contamination, e.x farmed salmon. After a month the effects start kicking in. The third is exercise, but not some half-ass one, talking about intensive at least 50-60 minutes, no more, no less, we don't want too much stress hormones. Doing it every other day. The other is SUN, a lot of it. (I've noticed everyone feeling better in this thread in the summer and worst in the winter) the next is meditation, 30-40 minutes a day. You can do it wrong or right as well, set the right light, get one of those aroma dispenser, (aroma therapy is a thing), use same ambient light/music. You need to practice the meditation, you need learn to relax your mind as much as possible, to teach yourself that in those 30-40 minutes, you're in peace and completely safe. Your environment has to be the same, your mindset too, so next time when you sit after 15-16 days of meditation your brain instantly relaxes and recognizes the moment.

This post seems like another cliche healthy life-style advice, but the trick is into the details of doing those activities, there's huge difference between sleep and sleep, exercise and exercise, meditation and meditation, diet and diet and so on... you really need to know what you're doing.

Now... about me? If I do even one of those things, I'm alright. If If I add another one of them I feel much better. If I do none I relapse. Good luck
 
@Macenroe we all had the same symptoms as you. Some of us had a few unique symptoms like HPPD or intense itching (I had intense itching), so it's not like 100% of the symptoms match for everybody, but in general all of us have the same bulk of symptoms.

we all get the anxiety, depression, derealization, panic attacks, and the other 50 symptoms that come along with those things.

Bottom line, anxiety is the biggest problem. Anxiety is the root, and by dealing with the anxiety effectivly, you can deal with all the other issues.

@ZeroLuck thanks for the tips man. I'm going to try this new routine. My current one is heavy on meditation but not exercise and I think I could use some improvement there. Also more sunlight and omega 3.

I've been doing great lately and my health routine has suffered a bit because of it. And consequently, I have been feeling pretty shitty because of that dip in health.

Anyways, was just dropping in to say hello to all. so hello!
 
lionheart90 said:
@Macenroe we all had the same symptoms as you. Some of us had a few unique symptoms like HPPD or intense itching (I had intense itching), so it's not like 100% of the symptoms match for everybody, but in general all of us have the same bulk of symptoms.

we all get the anxiety, depression, derealization, panic attacks, and the other 50 symptoms that come along with those things.

Bottom line, anxiety is the biggest problem. Anxiety is the root, and by dealing with the anxiety effectivly, you can deal with all the other issues.

@ZeroLuck thanks for the tips man. I'm going to try this new routine. My current one is heavy on meditation but not exercise and I think I could use some improvement there. Also more sunlight and omega 3.

I've been doing great lately and my health routine has suffered a bit because of it. And consequently, I have been feeling pretty shitty because of that dip in health.

Anyways, was just dropping in to say hello to all. so hello!
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Have you recovered? Have you been medicated? What medication? I am thinking to stsrt on Zoloft.
 
Macenroe said:
What were your symptoms initially? Can you make a detailed description?
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- anxiety
- depression
- derealization depersonalisation
- high blood pressure
- confusing
- dizziness
- HPPD
- panic attacks

Is it enough? Yeah I was in the hell. I thought that I will never be the same.It took me a year + , but would say “I’m almost 100% recovered “

If you need see medical help.Don’t be shy to share your story with professionalist.
Definitely helps.

Don’t give up.It can scary you,but thats just a mind blowing game ;) Have fun and keep smiling!
 
Most people that get addicted to mdMa without any other psychedelics in the mix...
Usually will end up using speed because They notice there is less toxicity when chronically doing methamphetamine by itself compared to doing it with MDA all the time.
 
Hey guys, just to let you know, it might be valuable to you to make an EEG test, I made it myself and it came out I have an epilepsy.
 
Macenroe said:
Have you recovered? Have you been medicated? What medication? I am thinking to stsrt on Zoloft.
Click to expand...

Recovered, that is a difficult one since I had anxiety and depression before the drugs. Drugs just made them worse.

Recovered from the LTC. I have recovered physically but emotionally, spiritually, mentally I am still struggling with the fallout from the entire experience. So many bad memories, so much pain. It will require an abundance of work and love to unravel these issues I heaped upon myself. However I am mighty (thor quote lol) and I will get the job done.

I don't react well with medicine, so no I did not get formal medication. I also did not have health insurance so it wasn't an option for me. That is why I had to go with the total life transformation/lifestyle changes in order to heal. The vast majority of people do react well to medicine though, so I am a small percentage and an outlier. If I did react well with medicine I 100% would have taken some, especially in the beginning or middle when I was in constant crisis.

If you want to try a medication go for it. Keep a journal and take it slow. Inform your doctor/psychiatrist of all changes you feel, good and bad, and you will be OK. The doctor will be able to guide you through the process of finding the right medication for you. Sometimes it takes 1-5 tries.
 
heatlessbbq said:
Most people that get addicted to mdMa without any other psychedelics in the mix...
Usually will end up using speed because They notice there is less toxicity when chronically doing methamphetamine by itself compared to doing it with MDA all the time.
Click to expand...
Hey mate. Look I know you feel like you get a pretty bad rap from the other members, but you really do invite it. This is again verging on preposterous misinformation and inaccuracy.

Firstly, MDMA does not contain Methamphetamine. 2 very different drugs, albeit with some relation I believe but Im not the least bit educated about that.

Okay I think I hear you- some MDMA users may eventually switch to speed/ amphetamines on account of lower neurotoxicity vs MDMA and MDA.

But not very much, it's hardly a well observed trendvand phenomena.

People who like to take amphetamines do so because they are drawn to them and this is what they are interested in and like.

I personally hate speed pretty much I only took it in my early years and always favoured ecstasy or MDMA any day.
Majority of people who take MDMA are doing so because they seek that type of experience and are not interested in the cheap thrill of an amphetamine rush.

So it really would not appeal to a lot of MDMA users to switch to speed because that just is not the experience they are looking for or interested in. I took MDMA for 9 years myself and I had absolutely zero interest in switching to or using amphetamines after my initial indoctrination into drug use as a teenager.

And also- where on earth do you get the MDA reference? Are you in trying that MDMA is basically a mixture of MDA and methamphetamine? Because that is again preposterous miss information and inaccuracy.

I'm really not trying to be mean or critical or picking on you, but we are here to share and established truth as accurately as possible for the good of all and you are unquestionably repeatedly posting misinformation.

The other members here have a responsibility to correct this where we feel we can with confidence. Please try and consider, for everybody's sake including your own, that you may be be considerably more misinformed on on many of these topics than you currently are aware of and this can be potentially misleading or dangerous.

All in the best spirit bro, I know you mean well and I'm only trying to share your experiences to help others but this can be doing more harm than good.
 
Hey All,

Still feeling great. I'd like to add to Lionheart's great post. I agree that the aftermath or fallout of the MDMA recovery has it's own issues, these seeming to be rooted in spirituality and existential anxiety. At least that's what it is for me.

I'm here to bring good news that it's been about 4 weeks since the symptoms disappeared. But I am left with a new look on life. I love life more than I ever have. We only get one shot, make it count.

"Life in every breath, every cup of tea."

Don't lose hope.
 
That's good to hear Rinzzlerr. Yeah the spiritual trauma and existential anxiety is a killer. I used to be heavily spiritual before this happened to me, it was the spirituality of psychedelics that drew me to them. And yeah during and after my spiritual flame has been reduced to a bare flicker. However I do feel it rising, and also now I know what to look for and what to avoid, as I do not ever want to end up in this hell again.

So yeah, it sucks when you're in it, but once you get out of it there is a lot of potential to transform your life and take a new direction
 
Macenroe said:
No other physical symptoms? When I look into the mirror and I look into my eyes, I feel completely disconnected from those eyes, they look completely spaced out, I feel dissociated from my eyes. Did you experience the same? Did you had social anxiety to the point you got panic attacks when talking to people?
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No physical symptoms. But panic attacks, yes. Got help from meds (paxil and busipirone). Doing extremely well.
 
Hi there guys! (I really want to share my story to you, seeking for help, advices and understanding) / Sorry for my bad english skills.

As I knew about this amazing and supportive forum for a very long time, I didn't have the guts to post because I considered that I still have a strong power of will (you know, the voice inside your head that tells you "- hey man, you're okay, you're real, everything is real, you're a human, nothing bad is going to happen and act cool etc."

So last year and a half I started my professional career as a DJ, and I joined in a world full of weekly parties and too much MDMA, too many pills or bunch of K. So my last year and a half was characterized by bottles of 2L of water filled with MDMA, weekly parties that started at 9PM and were ending 2 days later and had a massive consumption of >1G of MDMA on 4 nights throughout the year. This year, I met the best girlfriend on earth that is so supportive with me and made me realize the damage that I was doing to myself for such a long period of time, and I left all the darkness night in her favor.

On July 15, me and her went to a 4 days music festival (I was out of mdma or other drugs for more than 1 month) and she asked me if we can have a light trip with a pill, because she wanted to see how it feels. Despite my 1 month break, I decided to enjoy a roll with the most perfect girl I could've met. That's where it started, I suppose. We ended up the party at 4PM next day after...3 tesla each one (400-600mg MDMA each one). On Monday, me and her went with total serotonin depletion, on Wednesday night she told me that our relationship has no goal and she doesn't love me anymore. 1 Week later she recovered 70%, and I thought I'm recovered also.

Now it's been almost 2 months later and I have my dream job, my dream girlfriend and my DJ career is expanding with weekly gigs. I cut everything since then, and the worst part is happening right now. I cannot enjoy what life gave me anymore. I used to be socially active, opened, having deep discussion and always coming up with incredible ideas. Now, I feel like a ghost, without memory, with 9/10 anxiety and feeling so damaged overall.

My current symptoms:
- Smoked 1 joint / week --> Every time I got a massive panic attack, hearing voices on the street;
- I had a gig and smoked 1 joint before, I thought everyone was talking about how bad my music was;
- My mind is always questioning reality when I loose control on weed or alcohol --> anxiety and panic kicks in;
- What if an asteroid will hit earth and we all die? What if some rays from a supernova far away from our solar system will burn earth in a fraction of second and I will die? --> always fearing for my life;
- I cannot have those deep and intelligent discussion that I could've had before;
- I fainted from stress at work, probably was a panic attack;
- My mind is going crazy sometimes, coming up with broken words when I'm at the store for example, I can't focus anymore;
- The voice inside of me that was telling me everytime that I'm good, I'm okay and I'm strong has disappeared, leaving nothing in its place;
- Disociation;
- Depersoanlization;

I am currently working in marketing for a big company, and I don't have problems regarding concentrations or job-stuff. But I feel so numb. Everytime I experience depersonalization, derealization and anxiety. I've told all of these symptoms to my girlfriend, but I really don't want to panic her with these severe problems anymore. I feel that I've been complaining to her for a few times and she went supportive, but cannot fully understand the anxiety / DPD or derealization. Questioning reality and the fogness inside my brain really killed my personality and I feel I will remain like this for a looong time.

Though, I am socially active, I go out wiht friends, I open myself, but when anxiety kicks in, all I want is to go home and sleep because in the morning I'll feel better.
Started to take vitamins (from A to Z), magnesium, 5-HTP and curcumine and piperine for a month now, but I really feel overwhelmed because I cannot enjoy my life anymore.

Please, help me out, as I hope you do really understand what's happening with me! (feel like I'm going crazy or suffering from schizophrenia)
 
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