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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 5)

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Theone127 said:
Adubbs, are you still suffering from Insomnia?
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yes, it's still a struggle but it's improved over the beginning....I find it's hard to fall asleep and I wake up early then can't go back.....the Tinnitus, twitching, and this weird like head tingling​/pressure keeps me awake.

I always feel like crap.
 
ADubbs said:
yes, it's still a struggle but it's improved over the beginning....I find it's hard to fall asleep and I wake up early then can't go back.....the Tinnitus, twitching, and this weird like head tingling​/pressure keeps me awake.

I always feel like crap.
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Literally always or do you have moments (hours?) where you feel good?
 
What does head pressure feel like? I always have a feeling of like someone pushing on my head and stretching my skin..... could be my allergies but I don't think so....hard to tell sometimes...it's like being sick and the LTC work together to symbiotically fuck you up.
 
howlowhowlstheowl said:
No I mean are your symptoms there full on 24/7 or does it come and go with periods of feeling good?
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They're 24/7/365 my friend. Some days I feel better than others.....like less nauseous....less tingling on my head....but the tons of floaters and Tinnitus and twitching and over adrenaline feeling are all the time.
 
ADubbs said:
They're 24/7/365 my friend. Some days I feel better than others.....like less nauseous....less tingling on my head....but the tons of floaters and Tinnitus and twitching and over adrenaline feeling are all the time.
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Adubbs, have you thought about other meds to try?
 
ADubbs said:
Tinnitus, twitching, and this weird like head tingling​/pressure keeps me awake.

I always feel like crap.
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Just to throw this out there, musculoskeletal issues can cause all these symptoms - the scalenes (anxiety breathing neck muscles) attach way up into the back of the head where they can cause headaches, and very likely visual snow and tinnitus.

Injection of a cranial nerve in the back of the head there can treat visual snow apparently, and the scalene muscles can cause cranial nerve irritation and pull on the scalp, even leading to symptoms all the way in the forehead/eyebrows/eyes. But the jaw is also particularly affected in people with scalene issues, and the jaw can certainly cause tinnitus.

In some rarer cases, these scalene can compress an artery that helps supply the brain including the rear region of the brain that deals with vision - this can cause all sorts of symptoms.

There are some reasons why ecstasy/amphetamines and of course partying would cause activation of these muscles and issues with them. So it's something to think about, especially if your head symptoms don't improve much or you're having other neck problems.
 
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The derealization has been a major nuisance and source of anxiety for me lately still. Its been a whole month since I did the ketamine treatment.

I had DP/DR a grand total of 1 time before this when I went through some exam stress less than a year ago while in the LTC (compromised ability to handle stress due to hormonal issues). And even that stress-induced derealization subsided in a few days with pregnenolone. I'm trying to apply the same things like pregnenolone to try to relieve the drug induced DR and it only helps somewhat relative to stress-induced DR.

Sort of making me panic a bit. If its not gone in 2 more weeks I may ask for Lamictal treatment.

My derealization is mainly just the thoughts like "Do i know this person" etc when referring to my friends. I can still sort of have a social conversation like normal but when I realize its gone it just comes right back.
 
Cotcha,
I just realized something. Since that Coachella that started all of this i have had neck problems. I remember reaching back and touching a spot around c5 or c6 and the pain almost dropped me to my knees. It feels like a knot immediately to the left of my spine and the muscle are often tight all the way to to base of my skull on that same side. I was rolling at the time so couldn't feel any pain except for when I barely touched that spot. The knot comes and goes but it always feels like a constant tension in those muscles. My chiropractor saw an x-ray of my neck and said that I had some straightening in that same area which could be pinching the nerve and causing that constant contraction.

Do you think that could have had something to do with my LTC in the beginning or some of the issues that persist? As I've said before I feel basically normal now after Lamotrigine but my cognitive abilities seem way blunted still and my memory is shit.
 
^I really think musculoskeletal issues can explain a whole lot of symptoms.

When we're talking about that area of the neck (back of the head), we're talking about cranial nerves such as the occipital nerve - you can read about occipital neuralgia and its symptoms here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occipital_neuralgia

Mind us that anti-epileptics (lamotrigine and friends) have been used to treat cranial nerve disorders such as trigeminal neuralgia and occipital neuralgia.

Brain zaps from SSRI withdrawal are known to be a parasthesia of the cranial nerves.

MDMA could be causing some direct effects on cranial nerve function (either by acting on the cranial nerves or acting on the brain regions that deal with the cranial nerves) and such stimulants and a long night will also be increasing muscle tension in both the neck and the breathing muscles (scalenes) that can cause issues with this region of the neck/head.

Stimulants should be increasing the tone of the scalenes, and you'll have reduced bodily awareness et cetera while there could also be some musculoskeletal/peripheral nerve inflammation after using stimulants/partying so this could be a perfect storm for some.


There was a guy who used to post a lot who thought he had contracted MS from MDMA because he had so many neurological symptoms. The night that he used MDMA he was star gazing - looking up at the sky in the worst way that you could for that region of the neck. He fit the bill for cranial nerve issues and then some.

I don't think its a coincidence that so many people are having abnormal head sensations and neck/jaw pain - this could very well all link back to the cranial nerves.

There is also evidence that cranial nerve dysfunction leads to visual disturbances and tinnitus, and there are various symptoms associated with occipital neuralgia.

Some people may be thinking "Okay there's visual snow and tinnitus from that cranial nerve stuff, but other than that its all body symptoms, and I have depersonalization and depression" - the body and brain are intimately connected. If you're walking around all day with your head feeling numb and shitty because a cranial nerve is inflamed and irritated, that's going to affect you. Also, there are brain areas intimately involved with the face and head, and the cranial nerves have something of a direct route into the brain. Every corner of the brain and body is connected in some way or another.

We also have the issue of the vertebral artery, which can be compressed in the neck and lead to xyz symptoms. But that may not be as common. Who knows.
 
One pattern ive noticed in this LTC is that when something doesnt work it throws ppl into a setback and then when something works like with the lamictal or ssri for some ppl then they feel nearly normal.

All the treatments seem like huge risk huge reward....
 
I did about roughly 230-250 standard issue little round (for the era, no disco-biscuit shit etc.) MDMA pills of between 200mg and 250mg strength each (10-20 pills a weekend) between October 2006 and February 2007. I've lost my natural auditory to visual Synesthesia I was born with and always experienced since I can remember, seeing colours when I hear music, for example the life-long association of the word "Monday" with the colour yellow. Except for personally being a double-blind personal first-person neuropharmacological clinical study on what Seretonin, SERT and Seretonergic pathways in the brain have and what actions they must play in the role of inducing, maintaining or to diminish natural Synesthesia states altogether, I haven't had any long-term effects thereof. Other than that...those were the best five months and times of my life.

MDMA truly is magic, but overuse can cause loss of that magical feeling of the peak onset of MDMA. I did 12 pills in one go once maybe about 4 years ago and nothing, nada, fuckall. I listened to music, went for a shit, I yawned a few times and fell asleep. Don't do too much of it and you will lose the magic. My favourite chemical of all times.
 
Socrilus, I dont mean to sound like im undermining you or your symtoms, but dude, youve said youve had dp/dr symptoms for a month now which isnt really that long. Plenty of people with dp and dr recover within a few months and you just need to wait it out. Its not a cold man, you need time to heal and get better. And it sounds like you have fairly mild-moderate dp/dr (I know it doesnt always feel mild though) which swings in your favour for recovery. Just give it time bro, the more you sit around waiting for it to go away and coming on bluelight looking for answers the longer its gonna take.
 
Thank you for those who replied a few days ago, was in a really tough day and just needed an outlet I think. I know this is completely different but isn't what we are experiencing quite similar to benzo withdrawal? Just keep seeing similarities in people's journeys that I've read.
 
fnono33 said:
Adubbs, have you thought about other meds to try?
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I thought about taking the clonodine regularly...but but I'm worried about withdrawal....that's the last thing I need right now.

I'm thinking of trying lamotrigine this fall if I'm still not doing great.
 
I had wicked bad pins and needles in my hands and feet, sweating, shaking, brain zaps, nausea, and the whole left side of my face and scalp would tingle so bad my lip was curling..... All the physical symptoms kept me from sleeping. Or I'd fall asleep and wake up every hour and only get like 3 hours total sleep.
 
ADubbs said:
I had wicked bad pins and needles in my hands and feet, sweating, shaking, brain zaps, nausea, and the whole left side of my face and scalp would tingle so bad my lip was curling.....
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What did the doctors say about the face symptoms? So many of your symptoms fit with the cranial nerve neuralgias so they should have had something remotely intelligent to say about the face symptoms
 
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