That's a bit longer story.
I already tried it in the 6th month of my LTC and paradoxically it made my symptoms even worse. This feeling of emptiness got much stronger so I eventually felt nothing anymore.
At this time I also had a car crash, where a other vehicle crashed into our side (nothing happened), and it was so shocking for me that I actually felt nothing at all. I wouldn't even care at all if I would die in this crash, at this time my feeling were actually totally absent.
Because of this I decided to quit after 2 weeks.
About a month later I tried it again for a few days, with the same result. I also drank some alcohol at a party the night I began the treatment and it was the living hell. I couldn't talk with anyone, permanently thought if I would just jump down somewhere and kill myself it would end this misery. 3 days later I actually mentioned a bit of a positive effect, I still was very numb but walking in the forest actually felt like something good again. But eventually because of this negative experience on the first night and those before I quit again after 5 days. Maybe a badly thought out decision.
So now (13th month of LTC) I started to take it again because my depression was really bad and I couldn't force myself to do anything at all, that was about 2,5 weeks ago. At the beginning I felt a bit bad, especially in the morning my brain felt like scrambled, but only for about half an hour. This side effect eventually subsided after the first week, and now I feel normal again. And now there is no numbness anymore, it's quite the contrary, I feel like I gained back the power to feel emotions, take decisions, and so on. And it's not like a permanent euphoric state, it's just normal, like you would expect from a healthy person.
The shroom trip was quite weak because of the SSRI, but it also helped me to find this feeling of normal enjoyment again, just like watching a sunset and feeling the beauty of it.
It was the absence of those feelings, that drove me so crazy and depressed during the LTC and I'm grateful to be able to feel this again.
It really seems that the brain needs a lot of time to recover to a state where medication helps. I didn't wanted to see this fact either at this time, but this is maybe how a LTC works.
So my advice would be, try the SSRI route at least for 1 week. If you feel worse, stop it, if you feel you are getting better, stick to them.
I got enough pills for about one month from now, then I will try to live without them. If it really gets worse again, I will continue to take them, but I will make an update of my state at this time.
P.S.: I also started to take prepared curcuma again (3-5g/day) together with the SSRI's to support the positive long term effects like higher BDNF levels and the reversal of negative effects of stress on the brain. Curcuma alone had no antidepressant effect on me, but on the long term it will surely help.
P.S. 2: (lol)
I tried a combination of microdosing (3 weeks, 0.3g/day) and higher dosages (2g) of Iboga rootbark in the 8th month but still without any notable positive effects. It shocked me a bit because Iboga is named as one of the most powerful natural psychoactive substances and even helped heavy heroine addicts. But it really seems that in a early stage of LTC, and this could be sadly even some months or longer, no medication seems to cause some release. But I'm not familiar with other alternative treatments, and everyone's LTC is different, so this is my way the things went. Try to listen to other people who had success with their treatments and leave no chance open to do something to feel better.
