I'm goina get this checked thanks very much for your help ? I'm also trying my best to get a spect or pet scan aswell
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MDMA &
Empathogenic
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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 3)
- Thread starter BlueBull
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Don Polioni
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2015
- Messages
- 4
3-4 weeks ago, in the course of a day i took 5 e pills. 1 hour+ between drops. The night before i had been up drinking beer and sniffing coke, obviously i wasnt making the greatest of choices that weekend. when it came to the end of the day that i took the pills i started feeling anxiety coming up. by midnight i had an anxiety/panic attack. called the ambulance and took me to the hospital. I had been some what dehydrated and hadnt ate the past few days. i dont believe the pills had much mdma or any at all. i was going to test them but got impatient before buying a kit.. it's all on me, im aware of that. however, since then, my recovery has gone well, and the only time i feel the symptons is if i smoke weed, which i used to smoke a lot with no problem whatsover before this.. i am comitting to quiting weed and all other substances to regain my full recovery. my question is, would i be able to take mdma again in a few months? this time i'd be using crystal mdma and tested. dissolved in water as well.
my diet is very healthy, although i need to start exercising. i drink plenty of water and no soda whatsoever. Iv'e only used mdma 3 times in my whole life and it was the third that i got too confident. Any feedback will greatly help.
my diet is very healthy, although i need to start exercising. i drink plenty of water and no soda whatsoever. Iv'e only used mdma 3 times in my whole life and it was the third that i got too confident. Any feedback will greatly help.
Don't do it ! Honestly don't. Find another way to enjoy your night I'm in such a bad way and it's been 6 months now
^
A friend already offered me to try LSD next weekend, and your post hits me hard. But this is my first time and the curiousity kills me. I am recovering now can someone please be an eye opener or be mad at me for being like this?! Nooo I need to try the drug so bad
A friend already offered me to try LSD next weekend, and your post hits me hard. But this is my first time and the curiousity kills me. I am recovering now can someone please be an eye opener or be mad at me for being like this?! Nooo I need to try the drug so bad
Mazzab
Bluelighter
LSD during a LTC...sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. If you do decide, make sure you use a test kit for the LSD. There's just a many knock off "acids" as there are MDxx analoges going around.^
A friend already offered me to try LSD next weekend, and your post hits me hard. But this is my first time and the curiousity kills me. I am recovering now can someone please be an eye opener or be mad at me for being like this?! Nooo I need to try the drug so bad
nightElf
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2015
- Messages
- 235
I would NOT do it. You don't know the paths that you brain will take when you are on acid. It's much harder to keep it under control. LSD will still exists in a couple of months/years, it's better to wait than getting worst just because you were impatient, that's my 2c.
nightElf
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2015
- Messages
- 235
Update: I'm having some brain zaps with the twitches
I'm going to take some St. Joan's ward for a few days, and keep the clona drop for two or three days more, so I can rest well.
I'll report back in a few days to see if I get an update.
I thought I'd update this, since I did not check back in regarding this.
Short history: LTC since September, tried again with some mdma crystals (tested), under 100mg, was fun, rolled, no troubles sleeping, then this appear.
I had a rough time, about 5 days. Trouble sleeping, strong twitches and brain zaps. The whole thing. This lasted for 3-4 days. I took Clonazepan (1 drop de day, to sleep). After that, it all went back to normal. Minor twitches, no trouble sleeping. A weird pain in the chest started to happen after that. Sounds like anxiety to me, no heart problems. It's slowly fading away.
Thanks for your concerns, nightElf and Mazzab.
Just made a biggest decision yesterday that I'd like to stop doing drugs for good. That's so sad, I get so emotional but then I have had enough. I refused the LSDs, maybe trying it once but not in this mean time. Weed is exceptional, imo.
Just made a biggest decision yesterday that I'd like to stop doing drugs for good. That's so sad, I get so emotional but then I have had enough. I refused the LSDs, maybe trying it once but not in this mean time. Weed is exceptional, imo.
ro4eva
Bluelighter
Hey there, you might know this already, but still, I just wanted to inform you (better safe than sorry right?) that using St. John's Wort increases the risk of developing Serotonin Syndrome if there's any MDMA still in your system.
Take care
me2point0
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2014
- Messages
- 216
I really feel the need to ask (out of curiosity). The roll that started all this, for me was different from anything I have heard. So the mdma didn't kick in gradually, I hit me in the face. The effects of the drugs were easy to handle, even tho it was my first time. There was something MORE than the high itself, something was like ''pushing'' me towards the ground. Like I was going down a rollercoaster. My friend who is able to handle lsd and much more got the same thing one night(1 year after mine), and he had to sit down for a whole 2 hours just like I did. I know it's a shot in the dark but has anyone got that feeling before? I was overwhelmed with anxiety and so was my friend the other day. Pill tested by the way. Small dosage, 100-150.
Lsd2Heroin
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2015
- Messages
- 16
For what it is worth Swim used to Roll twice a day many days in a row for years. Till it stopped working no matter how much Swim did Swim would just feel the MA effects. So swim stoped for a couple years it took swim about a good year and a half to bounce back. After 4 years swim tried again from the same chemist with 97% purity and still nothing. After 10 years since the last time swim has no ill effects, grated that first year and a half after the major twice daily thing was rough and hard. But swim keeps up on the science and new article was read recently that stated as long as you don't take major and I mean major doses like under .5 grams there should be any long term effects except for preexisting mental disorders. Take it from Swim you will bounce back. As a 600+ memeber after 10 years since last time which had no effect swim feels great. Except for the 7 days sober from a long opiod addiction to which swim feels good just can't sleep hence posting at 3am. There will be light threw the tunnel in due time.
Strangestuff
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2014
- Messages
- 124
Yea sure just did
ro4eva
Bluelighter
So I decided to do some backtracking through posts which I missed reading due to being busy with work, family, errands and so forth, and I'm glad I chose to do so because, well, for example:
In my humble opinion, this is so profoundly worded, and golly gee, it's damn true to boot!
It is damn true that you or I can literally convince ourselves or each other that, for example:
- since you missed your period, you're probably pregnant. And there are a shockingly high number of cases of this occurring around the world every year. Originally labelled "hysterical pregnancy," it's now known by the medical term 'Pseudocyesis.' Evidence of Pseudocyesis dates back to ~300 B.C. and has affected a number of notable historical figures including Mary I, Queen of England.
- I'm fat and ugly. And this may lead to me being very self-conscious later on in life, as well as to having low self-esteem.
- you are blind. I know that seems impossible, but please take the time to read the following true story regarding a case of "hysterical blindness." You may be surprised by how powerful the human mind is over its body:
Part 1 - The Symptoms:
Dr G.C. Harlan had a patient with a strange case of blindness. The guy had been without sight in one eye for over 10 years, but there appeared to be nothing physically wrong with it. The eye was causing him some pain, however, and since this was back in the late 1800s, previous doctors had suggested having the eye plucked out. Because, you know, it didn't work anyway. Really just taking up space in his skull. Fuck that eye!
But Harlan noticed the eye didn't respond like a blind eye -- the blink reflex worked and the pupil dilated normally. And while testing the eye, Harlan figured out he could "trick" the patient into seeing out of it. Without telling him what he was doing, he did a successful vision test while the machine was actually blocking the supposed good eye.
The blindness, it turned out, was all in the patient's mind.
Part 2 - The Disorder:
We know what you're thinking. The dude was just faking, probably so he could take his dog into restaurants. But keep in mind that the guy was there to make an appointment to have the eye removed. If he was faking blindness, he was prepared to take it far enough to become really blind.
The disorder was called 'Hysterical Blindness' but now they refer to it as a "conversion disorder." As in, the patient is "converting" emotional or psychological stress into a physical problem (like blindness) via a mechanism that science in no way understands.
And to be clear, while that case was from the 1800s, this isn't some 19th century superstition at work -- there have been countless other cases over the years. There was a soldier back in the 1980s who lost vision in one eye due to the stress of boot camp.
Again, we're going to assume that by now they have figured out a test to weed out fakers (which presumably just involves the doctor walking into the office with his dick out, daring the person not to say anything while he calmly asks about their symptoms). And if he was faking, he still allowed himself to be cured days later. They did it with a placebo -- they made the soldier wear an eyepatch over the unaffected eye (telling him it was to "train" the "blind" eye) and told him it was normal for patients to regain their sight after a few days. And he did.
The condition is usually caused by emotional or psychological shock or trauma, like the trauma of combat or if, while visiting your grandparents, you wake up in the middle of the night and walk in on them having geriatric bondage sex.
On one hand, you could say that this kind of makes sense. After all, we know there is such a thing as hallucinations where people think they're seeing something they're not. In this case, they're just hallucinating blindness (in fact it's called a negative hallucination). But it's not just the eyes that get affected by conversion disorders -- they can also cause everything from to seizures to paralysis.
Yes, paralysis -- as in, some of your limbs stop functioning. Back in Victorian times, women used to report "glove" paralysis, where one hand would stop working (which is impossible by physical causes -- due to the structure of the muscles and nerves in the arm, either the whole arm goes, or nothing goes) or it would go numb. In Freud's time, this bizarre condition was as common as bulimia is in our modern society and supposedly was brought on by the intense guilt caused by masturbation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazy shit huh?
My point for sharing this with you all should be obvious: obsessively thinking that you've severely (and permanently) damaged your brain because you used MDMA will probably end up doing far more damage to your mental and physical health than the incident which began this turbulent part of your life.
The reality regarding MDMA-induced neurotoxicity is this: Based on the amount of information we have regarding possible brain damage from the drug's misuse, the consensus is that, if you consume a large amount of MDMA in combination with spending hours in a hot environment and dancing the night away, this can result in some damaged brain cells - possibly by way of Dopamine (DA) interacting with Serotonin Transporters (SERT) through some mechanism which I'm not certain is completely understood, but I digress.
What you should also know is this: Suffering a mild concussion will kill far more brain cells than a night of MDMA use ever will.
Furthermore, the Ethyl Alcohol in your drink is a known neurotoxin which has been shown for decades to kill a lot of brain cells regardless of the temperature as well as any moves you may be attempting to bust in some random nightclub. And on top of that, it's a known Carcinogen, can make your liver look like a mutated prune, and may be the cause of some especially painful ulcers. Oh, and it tends to trigger some seriously violent and irrational behavior in most of us at one point or another, yet still, the health warning from our government is as follows: "Please enjoy responsibly."
I apologize, for this is not a crusade against booze - I love having a cold beer on a hot summer day (especially if I'm at a BBQ). Drink to your heart's content - frankly, it's none of my business what you choose to do with your body, and I'd hope that others would offer me the same courtesy if I'm not physical harming anyone else, but enough about that.
It's obvious that humans tend to fear what we don't understand. And the severe symptoms from this so called 'LTC' may yield no objective medical evidence from Bloodwork, X-Rays, CT Scans, MRIs, etc. And yes, that can be more scary than knowing exactly why you feel like shit. But at the same time, constantly occupying your mind with thoughts related to these 'LTC' symptoms can eventually become dangerously counterproductive. And before you know it, some new symptoms with no apparent cause begin manifesting themselves from occasional to chronic.
I don't have all the answers, and I don't pretend to, but I sure as hell know from first hand experience back when I was dealing with this shit that keeping myself obsessively focused on it only created more and more problems which eventually culminated with a narrowly failed suicide attempt, which, I felt guilty as fuck about (after managing to recover from ~19 months of 'LTC' symptoms) due to the severe emotional pain and suffering I caused my family to endure. Thankfully we are doing much, much better nowadays - something which I was certain would never happen after becoming sick with the aforementioned mystery illness.
In any case, I wish you all nothing less than a full recovery. And I'd also like to stress that you are not weak or bad people who automatically owe an Alcohol-loving, Caffeine-dependent, Nicotine-fixed, dangerously overweight society a debt simply because you chose to consume a controlled substance. And don't let anyone tell you differently.
God bless and take care
In my humble opinion, this is so profoundly worded, and golly gee, it's damn true to boot!
It is damn true that you or I can literally convince ourselves or each other that, for example:
- since you missed your period, you're probably pregnant. And there are a shockingly high number of cases of this occurring around the world every year. Originally labelled "hysterical pregnancy," it's now known by the medical term 'Pseudocyesis.' Evidence of Pseudocyesis dates back to ~300 B.C. and has affected a number of notable historical figures including Mary I, Queen of England.
- I'm fat and ugly. And this may lead to me being very self-conscious later on in life, as well as to having low self-esteem.
- you are blind. I know that seems impossible, but please take the time to read the following true story regarding a case of "hysterical blindness." You may be surprised by how powerful the human mind is over its body:
Part 1 - The Symptoms:
Dr G.C. Harlan had a patient with a strange case of blindness. The guy had been without sight in one eye for over 10 years, but there appeared to be nothing physically wrong with it. The eye was causing him some pain, however, and since this was back in the late 1800s, previous doctors had suggested having the eye plucked out. Because, you know, it didn't work anyway. Really just taking up space in his skull. Fuck that eye!
But Harlan noticed the eye didn't respond like a blind eye -- the blink reflex worked and the pupil dilated normally. And while testing the eye, Harlan figured out he could "trick" the patient into seeing out of it. Without telling him what he was doing, he did a successful vision test while the machine was actually blocking the supposed good eye.
The blindness, it turned out, was all in the patient's mind.
Part 2 - The Disorder:
We know what you're thinking. The dude was just faking, probably so he could take his dog into restaurants. But keep in mind that the guy was there to make an appointment to have the eye removed. If he was faking blindness, he was prepared to take it far enough to become really blind.
The disorder was called 'Hysterical Blindness' but now they refer to it as a "conversion disorder." As in, the patient is "converting" emotional or psychological stress into a physical problem (like blindness) via a mechanism that science in no way understands.
And to be clear, while that case was from the 1800s, this isn't some 19th century superstition at work -- there have been countless other cases over the years. There was a soldier back in the 1980s who lost vision in one eye due to the stress of boot camp.
Again, we're going to assume that by now they have figured out a test to weed out fakers (which presumably just involves the doctor walking into the office with his dick out, daring the person not to say anything while he calmly asks about their symptoms). And if he was faking, he still allowed himself to be cured days later. They did it with a placebo -- they made the soldier wear an eyepatch over the unaffected eye (telling him it was to "train" the "blind" eye) and told him it was normal for patients to regain their sight after a few days. And he did.
The condition is usually caused by emotional or psychological shock or trauma, like the trauma of combat or if, while visiting your grandparents, you wake up in the middle of the night and walk in on them having geriatric bondage sex.
On one hand, you could say that this kind of makes sense. After all, we know there is such a thing as hallucinations where people think they're seeing something they're not. In this case, they're just hallucinating blindness (in fact it's called a negative hallucination). But it's not just the eyes that get affected by conversion disorders -- they can also cause everything from to seizures to paralysis.
Yes, paralysis -- as in, some of your limbs stop functioning. Back in Victorian times, women used to report "glove" paralysis, where one hand would stop working (which is impossible by physical causes -- due to the structure of the muscles and nerves in the arm, either the whole arm goes, or nothing goes) or it would go numb. In Freud's time, this bizarre condition was as common as bulimia is in our modern society and supposedly was brought on by the intense guilt caused by masturbation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crazy shit huh?
My point for sharing this with you all should be obvious: obsessively thinking that you've severely (and permanently) damaged your brain because you used MDMA will probably end up doing far more damage to your mental and physical health than the incident which began this turbulent part of your life.
The reality regarding MDMA-induced neurotoxicity is this: Based on the amount of information we have regarding possible brain damage from the drug's misuse, the consensus is that, if you consume a large amount of MDMA in combination with spending hours in a hot environment and dancing the night away, this can result in some damaged brain cells - possibly by way of Dopamine (DA) interacting with Serotonin Transporters (SERT) through some mechanism which I'm not certain is completely understood, but I digress.
What you should also know is this: Suffering a mild concussion will kill far more brain cells than a night of MDMA use ever will.
Furthermore, the Ethyl Alcohol in your drink is a known neurotoxin which has been shown for decades to kill a lot of brain cells regardless of the temperature as well as any moves you may be attempting to bust in some random nightclub. And on top of that, it's a known Carcinogen, can make your liver look like a mutated prune, and may be the cause of some especially painful ulcers. Oh, and it tends to trigger some seriously violent and irrational behavior in most of us at one point or another, yet still, the health warning from our government is as follows: "Please enjoy responsibly."
I apologize, for this is not a crusade against booze - I love having a cold beer on a hot summer day (especially if I'm at a BBQ). Drink to your heart's content - frankly, it's none of my business what you choose to do with your body, and I'd hope that others would offer me the same courtesy if I'm not physical harming anyone else, but enough about that.
It's obvious that humans tend to fear what we don't understand. And the severe symptoms from this so called 'LTC' may yield no objective medical evidence from Bloodwork, X-Rays, CT Scans, MRIs, etc. And yes, that can be more scary than knowing exactly why you feel like shit. But at the same time, constantly occupying your mind with thoughts related to these 'LTC' symptoms can eventually become dangerously counterproductive. And before you know it, some new symptoms with no apparent cause begin manifesting themselves from occasional to chronic.
I don't have all the answers, and I don't pretend to, but I sure as hell know from first hand experience back when I was dealing with this shit that keeping myself obsessively focused on it only created more and more problems which eventually culminated with a narrowly failed suicide attempt, which, I felt guilty as fuck about (after managing to recover from ~19 months of 'LTC' symptoms) due to the severe emotional pain and suffering I caused my family to endure. Thankfully we are doing much, much better nowadays - something which I was certain would never happen after becoming sick with the aforementioned mystery illness.
In any case, I wish you all nothing less than a full recovery. And I'd also like to stress that you are not weak or bad people who automatically owe an Alcohol-loving, Caffeine-dependent, Nicotine-fixed, dangerously overweight society a debt simply because you chose to consume a controlled substance. And don't let anyone tell you differently.
God bless and take care
Last edited:
Wow alot of intersting information. I too scary myself into believing i have brain damage. i ate 4 maybe 5 pills last year. no water just energy drinks.all at one time. Complete utter fool i was. i was naive and stupid. Its a year later and i deal with harsh anxiety... Sometimes harsh sometimes mild. Point is im still here a year later and i could have been 1000000000 worse or Dead! So i dont believe i have brain damage becuz it would be constant. i have good days out of the blue. i dont think brain damage comes and goes. my opinion.
justme6263
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2012
- Messages
- 202
Not sure if this is the right thread to ask but...
Is it safe and okay to take MDMA while also on a 10mg proscription dose of an SSRI?
Is it safe and okay to take MDMA while also on a 10mg proscription dose of an SSRI?
Hi all, just checking in. Going on 16 months now.
Was on tianeptine for ages but it was expensive and the effects were too inconsistent. 3 weeks ago decided to commit to Citalopram (SSRI) for a period of at least 2 months.
What are my remaining symptoms?
- Muscle twitching
- Seizure like attacks of feeling bloody weird
- Random anxiety still
- TMJ in one jaw joint as a result of LTC stress
So far not sure I dig Citalopram. So far the only effect is I don't get upset when I normally would and I feel too content to lay around doing nothing. I'll stick it out though, nothing to lose. Also going to see a neurologist just to be on the safe side.
Was on tianeptine for ages but it was expensive and the effects were too inconsistent. 3 weeks ago decided to commit to Citalopram (SSRI) for a period of at least 2 months.
What are my remaining symptoms?
- Muscle twitching
- Seizure like attacks of feeling bloody weird
- Random anxiety still
- TMJ in one jaw joint as a result of LTC stress
So far not sure I dig Citalopram. So far the only effect is I don't get upset when I normally would and I feel too content to lay around doing nothing. I'll stick it out though, nothing to lose. Also going to see a neurologist just to be on the safe side.
nightElf
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2015
- Messages
- 235
No, it's not. If you are on anti-depressants you should *NOT* consume MDMA.
hardlife123
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2015
- Messages
- 39
Hi guys. Is anybody experience Constant shimmering blinking snow vision? And floating feeling like ground is soft all the time or the elevator sensation? After I stop MDMA before 2years I started suffering from this condition everyday for 2 years..I just don't know what to do else..I can't accept live with this for the rest of my life
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