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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 3)

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me2point0 said:
Neurologist will probably tell you your brain is 100% fine chemically. Like mine did. I'm doing neurofeedback training to remove the anxiety but honnestly I do it because its fun and insure pays for it. Because I know this LTC is something nobody understands. Just keep doing what you do ryan23, you'll be okai.

To be honest anxiety is at an all-time low, but i'm still scared to just slip away at any moment. It sounds really crazy but the thought of dying all the time haunts me.

I guess ill edit my post again: jusjenn21 I feel you so much, im extremelly functionnal, my memory is crazy good and everything, but i'm not ready to get a steady important job or go to school quite yet, one bad thought or a ''bad day'' and my anxiety takes over my entire day.
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What tests did you get ? I'm really struggling to lift my arms and legs they are getting weaker and weaker everyday I have loads more symptoms but I'm struggling to move now so can't even get on with it
 
ryan23 said:
What tests did you get ? I'm really struggling to lift my arms and legs they are getting weaker and weaker everyday I have loads more symptoms but I'm struggling to move now so can't even get on with it
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You can't MOVE? Are you exagerating/is this some kind of anxiety symptom or are you literally having issues with moving? I only got Electro-encephalogram, she told me my neurotransmiters we're all cool, but I had some issues that they could fix on the part of my brain wich anxiety is relied to.

I really hope everything gets figured out for you, really. Everyone here seem to have the same LTC but 1-2 symptoms seem to be case-specific. Have you tried fighting this specific symptom by exercising or whatnot?
 
me2point0 said:
You can't MOVE? Are you exagerating/is this some kind of anxiety symptom or are you literally having issues with moving? I only got Electro-encephalogram, she told me my neurotransmiters we're all cool, but I had some issues that they could fix on the part of my brain wich anxiety is relied to.

I really hope everything gets figured out for you, really. Everyone here seem to have the same LTC but 1-2 symptoms seem to be case-specific. Have you tried fighting this specific symptom by exercising or whatnot?
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It's just really really hard to lift my arms and legs they feel so weak they also have got so much thinner it's weird.. I played football at a high level before all this happend so was always fit but the last 6 months have been hell it's gradually getting worse I tryed to do some excersise 2 weeks ago I honestly lasted about 5mins then my legs cramped up.
 
ryan23 said:
It's just really really hard to lift my arms and legs they feel so weak they also have got so much thinner it's weird.. I played football at a high level before all this happend so was always fit but the last 6 months have been hell it's gradually getting worse I tryed to do some excersise 2 weeks ago I honestly lasted about 5mins then my legs cramped up.
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I feel you man. Most of the ltc sufferers seem to mostly get psychological symptoms only. For me it's been both physical and psychological.

I'm 2 years in now. The first 6 months of my LTC I had some balance problems and problems walking straight. Also I couldn't really coordinate my facial muscles and my left arm/hand seemed weak and imprecise. Everything that required fine motor skills was difficult, imagine an 80 year old paying with coins at the supermarket. The left half of my body still feels different, a bit like if it were under electricity, just very weird. I still have eye-wiggles many times each day and a plethora of psychological symptoms. My neurologist said nothing of that is permanent, but that talk was 1.5 years ago.

It definitely gets better though. I'd guess to be looking at another 1-3 years for mostly full recovery. Maybe you're looking at the same timeline, ryan. The first year's the hardest, because all the delusion/anxiety makes you think it never gets better; or it's even getting worse, while there's some very clear signs of improvement.

(My ltc is from a huge dose of 5-MAPB, which is reasonably similar to MDMA, I believe)
 
idontknow_ said:
I feel you man. Most of the ltc sufferers seem to mostly get psychologicalsymptoms only. For me it's been both physical and psychological.

I'm 2 years in now. The first 6 months of my LTC I had some balance problems and problems walking straight. Also I couldn't really coordinate my facial muscles and my left arm/hand seemed weak and imprecise. Everything that required fine motor skills was difficult, imagine an 80 year old paying with coins at the supermarket. The left half of my body still feels different, a bit like if it were under electricity, just very weird. I still have eye-wiggles many times each day and a plethora of psychological symptoms. My neurologist said nothing of that is permanent, but that talk was 1.5 years ago.

It definitely gets better though. I'd guess to be looking at another 1-3 years for mostly full recovery. Maybe you're looking at the same timeline, ryan. The first year's the hardest, because all the delusion/anxiety makes you think it never gets better; or it's even getting worse, while there's some very clear signs of improvement.

(My ltc is from a huge dose of 5-MAPB, which is reasonably similar to MDMA, I believe)
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There loads more symptoms aswell it's really bad my hole body just isnt functioning right. What tests did the neurologist do on you ? I kind of hope he finds somthing so my family will relise that there's somthing not right rather than think this is all in my head etc
 
ryan23 said:
It's just really really hard to lift my arms and legs they feel so weak they also have got so much thinner it's weird.. I played football at a high level before all this happend so was always fit but the last 6 months have been hell it's gradually getting worse I tryed to do some excersise 2 weeks ago I honestly lasted about 5mins then my legs cramped up.
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Ryan, have you been checked for Lyme Disease?

Re. your Neurologist - ask for a P.E.T. scan of your brain if possible. If in fact you are suffering from some sort of brain damage, and the manifestations of cognitive symptoms are a direct result, it just may be able to provide some objective medical evidence to support that.

Do you have a feeling of heaviness? Do you struggle when standing - as if there's a bunch of extra weight you're seemingly carrying?
 
taxflax said:
Fuck everything. I am at 7.5 months. I am starting to think that I have something else than LTC. Sure, anxiety is a ground stone in this and it's moving forward but I don't understand how you guys can work? I can't work... If I concentrate myself more than a couple of hours with say studies or at work I start to get more and more stressed up and more tense. And the day after I am worse. WHAT IS THAT
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When I was sick, I wasn't able to function at work at all. And I had to take a 6 month leave of absence as a result, which significantly reduced my stress levels and allowed me to concentrate on my health.

Suffice to say - without the aforementioned time off work, I very highly doubt that I would have been able to recover at all.

Would it be possible for you to do the same? I mean, I understand you might be the bread winner in your home and all, but if you're sick, you're sick. And I hope your doctor will support you in that regard by way of notifying your place of employment that you're clearly struggling to function, let alone work a part or full-time shift. Sadly, being sick is expensive.
 
ro4eva said:
Ryan, have you been checked for Lyme Disease?

Re. your Neurologist - ask for a P.E.T. scan of your brain if possible. If in fact you are suffering from some sort of brain damage, and the manifestations of cognitive symptoms are a direct result, it just may be able to provide some objective medical evidence to support that.

Do you have a feeling of heaviness? Do you struggle when standing - as if there's a bunch of extra weight you're seemingly carrying?
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@ro4eva was at my doctors on Monday they done some bloods so waiting to here back from them, a few people I've spoke to have said about a pet scan aswell I just hope the waits not too long.
That's exactly what it feels like, my muscles in legs and arms are so much smaller aswell
 
ryan23 said:
@ro4eva was at my doctors on Monday they done some bloods so waiting to here back from them, a few people I've spoke to have said about a pet scan aswell I just hope the waits not too long.
That's exactly what it feels like, my muscles in legs and arms are so much smaller aswell
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And yea it's sore standing I stand all day in work but have become very clumsy and been sitting down as much as I can it's just getting worse. Walking just feels funny. It's really hard to walk normal aswell without limping
 
ryan23 said:
There loads more symptoms aswell it's really bad my hole body just isnt functioning right. What tests did the neurologist do on you ? I kind of hope he finds somthing so my family will relise that there's somthing not right rather than think this is all in my head etc
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The neurologist did a Electroencephalography/EEG, a CT scan to test for stroke and some functional tests, like letting me move in certain ways. I believe she said something about neuropathy and/or my optical nerve. She stressed that it won't be permanent and calmed me down.

My muscles also cramp way more when I exercise, so I'd see if it gets better without exercise. If it still gets worse, you probably should see a doctor.
 
idontknow_ said:
The neurologist did a Electroencephalography/EEG, a CT scan to test for stroke and some functional tests, like letting me move in certain ways. I believe she said something about neuropathy and/or my optical nerve. She stressed that it won't be permanent and calmed me down.

My muscles also cramp way more when I exercise, so I'd see if it gets better without exercise. If it still gets worse, you probably should see a doctor.
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It's weird from going to being really fit and playing football for 90mins 5 mins max I have cramp ! I don't get crAmps when I'm not exercising though just this weird weak achey feeling it's horrible
 
Ye I can imagine those symptoms frighten you. Although being scared doesn't help at all. Maybe you should try to meditate to keep yourself calm and strong. Take care, keep us updated.
 
ryan23 said:
It's weird from going to being really fit and playing football for 90mins 5 mins max I have cramp ! I don't get crAmps when I'm not exercising though just this weird weak achey feeling it's horrible
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Does sound plausible you have an issue that can be treated medically Ryan. But also bare in mind that there is a very strong possibility that what you are suffering from is just extreme anxiety. Fortunately you will soon know either way.

If the tests come back clear, focus on anxiety reduction. Tbf you really sound like you could benefit from some intensive therapy. Which probably wouldn't go amiss even if you did end up being diagnosed with a medical condition. The body will heal a lot faster with a positive mindset.

Really sucks to be reading about you guys on here being unable to work and shit. Even months ago when my anxiety was at its peak, I was fully functional. I'm thankful that my LTC so far seems to have been quite mild, and my heart goes out to those who are in a dark place right now.
 
God knows what's happening I've to find out about my bloods today so will keep yous updated. ive tryed everything to treat the anxiety side ssri therapy etc .. It's just like my body's shut down now and how it's just getting worse through time
 
Ryan23 i have the achey feeling, the best thing to do is ignore it and not 'annoy' it as i say. Btw everyone, i found at work that my symptoms would go away apart from eye floaters, because i was under pressure. Which anecdotally proves that keeping your mind occupied is one of the best forms of therapy in my opinions:

EDIT: They dont go away completely, but they are not as noticeable by a large degree
 
nnzo said:
Ryan23 i have the achey feeling, the best thing to do is ignore it and not 'annoy' it as i say. Btw everyone, i found at work that my symptoms would go away apart from eye floaters, because i was under pressure. Which anecdotally proves that keeping your mind occupied is one of the best forms of therapy in my opinions:

EDIT: They dont go away completely, but they are not as noticeable by a large degree
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I know am so tired like to the point I can barley speak, it's just to hard my bloods came back all ok today aswell so need to wait till Tuesday till I see my neurologist.
 
ryan23 said:
I know am so tired like to the point I can barley speak, it's just to hard my bloods came back all ok today aswell so need to wait till Tuesday till I see my neurologist.
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What blood tests did you get and what were the results? Look above--if your AM cortisol was in the normal range then given the anxiety you are experiencing its actually not normal. Your anxiety sounds pretty severe and cortisol is supposed to rise to control it so if it isn't then thats a problem....
 
Strangestuff said:
What blood tests did you get and what were the results? Look above--if your AM cortisol was in the normal range then given the anxiety you are experiencing its actually not normal. Your anxiety sounds pretty severe and cortisol is supposed to rise to control it so if it isn't then thats a problem....
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I asked what it was I was getting and the doc sayed it was basically an mot hormones-liver and kidney functions etc
 
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