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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 2)

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Is there anyone still on tianeptine? How does it work? Is it still beneficial?
 
ro4eva said:
There is some evidence that St. John's Wort is a Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitor (whether that's MAOI-A, B, or both, I'm not sure), and also that it acts as a Cytochrome P450 3A4 inducer (may interact with Clonazepam), which means that combining it with 5-hydroxy-tryptophan (5-HTP) could be more risky than beneficial to one's short and long term mental health.

There was a time when I combined high dosages of both, and ironically began to experience side effects consistent with those I felt when withdrawing from ~8 months spent on an SSRI medication known as Zoloft (Sertraline) - 'brain zaps' included.

Edit - By the way, Lyrica (Pregabalin) may (or may not) be a good option for anyone here who has decided to try Rx meds such as SSRIs, but have not observed any significant reduction in their symptoms. This may be due to its suppressant pharmacological effects upon Norepinephrine (implicated in anxiety and panic attacks) and Substance P (reportedly released in abnormal amounts in people suffering from illnesses in which widespread muscle pain and cognitive dysfunction (brain fog) are apparent).

NMDA antagonists and blockers might also be an option for LTC sufferers. And apparently, one of them also happens to be a vital mineral: Magnesium, but I digress.
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Thanks for all the info! It's a lot, and a bit technical for me hehe!

Don't worry, I'm not mixing SJW with HTP-5, I'm not taking any HTP-5 at all, doctor told me to stay away from it. Also I'm not mixing it with Clonazepan, as I'm currently not taking any. I've never been with antidepressants, not now and not before.
The Lyrica helped me during the worst brain zaps, at first. I was only taking 25mg before going to sleep. I was also having the Exploding Head Syndrome, which is annoying but not as annoying as the brain zaps. I took magnesium, but I don't think it did any difference to be honest.
Another thing that I'm taking, when I have a hard time sleeping, is melatonin, one capsule.

Another study that the Dr. ordered is cortisol, dopamine, adrenaline, noradrenaline and serotonin (blood test). All were fine, within the normal ranges, serotonin was a bit low (91 ng/ml, the reference values were 20-230 nl/ml) but it was in range.

Oh! I forgot one thing, which is "weird", but might explain some of the things I felt: when I'm about to get my period (a couple of days before) and a couple of days into the period, I almost have no problems (no zaps, no jumping, I sleep well). I've read that when the women are in their period, they create less serotonin, that's why we feel so down sometimes. Perhaps one fix is something that inhibits the serotonin generation for a couple of months?
 
kracke said:
Is there anyone still on tianeptine? How does it work? Is it still beneficial?
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I've been on it about a month so far. The dose and half life is really annoying. You have to take it like 3x a day because the half life is 2 hours. It means I often wake up feeling anxious or depressed until it kicks in. Its also not a very good anxiolytic but by far the most effective antidepressant. It just kind of puts me in a naturally good mood and seems to stop all intrusive thoughts.

Another downside, not sure if this one is just me but I find myself craving junk food, alcohol and tobacco. Also seems to make me want sex a lot more, total opposite of SSRIs!

I think the neurogenesis stuff is very overblown, this isn't the answer to our problems. Its just a pleasant little mood booster that makes coping a bit easier.
 
nightElf said:
I think I should start posting in this thread :) Currently working my way in recovery, some days are good, some days are terrible... mostly, I have two symptoms:



1 - Brain zaps: annoying, like electricity, won't let me sleep, they (are usually) triggered when I want to sleep. Right between when I'm awake and I'm sleep, which wakes me up (obviously)
2 - Hypnic jerk: I'm still having these. They are split between "violent" and "small": the violent ones are the ones that I get on the bed usually (or when I am relaxed), in which I "jump". It's like a group of muscles, like you get scared, and you "jump", actually move in the bed or the chair, as if someone poked you with a needle. The small ones, I still get them everyday, all the time, they are annoying when I use the computer. Is like small "mini jumps", but I do not "jump" with them (only my hand, or fingers, move, not the entire body). The mouse in the computer still detects the movement, which is annoying.

I did not have panic attacks, aside from the "I've ruined my life" moments. The rest of my body/mind keeps functioning fine. No depresion, as well. I feel good. A bit of a lower libido.

It started after my week in Ibiza last Sept, I consumed 5 blue ghosts pills in 1 week, + some untested crystal, which I'm not sure if it was MD or something else (I know, I KNOW, huge mistake). One month later, I drank a couple of red bulls with vodka, and the issues started there. I'm off caffeine as well.
I used it one more time, last month, very low dose, and had a couple of rough days. I don't feel any different than I used to feel before taking that small amount (IE, not better, or worse, things are still the same).


I went to two neurologist, did lots of blood tests, did an extended egc, they found nothing, as usual. They gave me Pregabalin 25mg to help me with the brain zaps and Clonazepan in drops (2 drops, 3 times per day) to help me with the jerks.


I'm currently taking fish oil, some vit b and folic acid, and I started using SJW (Hypericum), but I don't see much difference with that. Perhaps I'm using the wrong dose of SJW, it's on drops, I'm taking 25 drops 2 times per day. I'm currently off the Clonazepan and the Pregabalin, but I had a very bad night yesterday, and I'm considering re-taking them for 2-3 days.

I have HTP-5 available, but the dosing is large (120mg) on each capsule, so I'm not sure I should take that.
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Sounds like you're doing pretty well :) Depression is one of the worst things about a whole LTC. It can really fuck with your life in a big way, and prevent you from doing the things, such as being active and socialising, that can really help recovery. It's good you're not having to deal with it.

I wish you all the best in continuing your recovery. Hypnic jerks can really suck. I remember the ones I were getting the day after I'd finished my massive 3 day binge. The jerk was so intense I jumped out of bed and thought I was going to die right there and then. They've subsided in intensity for me since then and some nights I don't get them at all, but it's still something I'm dealing with fairly occasionally.

Interesting that your issues didn't begin until after caffeine and alcohol. Were you getting anything at all until the red bulls and vodka?

Tpchan85 said:
I've been on it about a month so far. The dose and half life is really annoying. You have to take it like 3x a day because the half life is 2 hours. It means I often wake up feeling anxious or depressed until it kicks in. Its also not a very good anxiolytic but by far the most effective antidepressant. It just kind of puts me in a naturally good mood and seems to stop all intrusive thoughts.

Another downside, not sure if this one is just me but I find myself craving junk food, alcohol and tobacco. Also seems to make me want sex a lot more, total opposite of SSRIs!

I think the neurogenesis stuff is very overblown, this isn't the answer to our problems. Its just a pleasant little mood booster that makes coping a bit easier.
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You've really sparked my interest in tianeptine. Where do you source yours from? I'm in the UK and can see some on eBay, but I'm wary of just picking any old seller.

I think you're right about neurogenesis. Again, I'm a firm believer that it's not necessarily brain damage that is the problem with most of us. It's just continued stress and bad mental habits that have gotten out of hand. Stimulating new neurons is not going to change the message they're sending... though it's not a bad thing either I guess.
 
Alright guys, I need a real advice or answer here. I've asked once but here we are. I kept my condition hidden from my family, for the best. But they are taking me for a trip and I have to take the plane. Im scared as hell. I'm like obliated to go. Can anything bad happen? I've take the place 10+ times but with the altitute and the air pressure etc, idk. Is it gonna be fine? Anyone?
 
me2point0 said:
Alright guys, I need a real advice or answer here. I've asked once but here we are. I kept my condition hidden from my family, for the best. But they are taking me for a trip and I have to take the plane. Im scared as hell. I'm like obliated to go. Can anything bad happen? I've take the place 10+ times but with the altitute and the air pressure etc, idk. Is it gonna be fine? Anyone?
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You should be fine. People with pacemakers and such regularly rack up air miles without any issues.

If you're prone to severe anxiety and/or panic attacks, perhaps a temporary (a couple days supply) low dose Rx of Ativan (Lorazepam) or another Benzodiazepine from your doctor might help alleviate your worries.

Just keep your mouth open when the plane takes off and lands so that your ears don't pop from the varying air pressure. This might sound silly to mention, but some people get spooked from it (myself included).

The internal air pressure of a commercial airliner flying at ~30,000 feet is set to mimic conditions outside at around ~8,000 feet, which means that if you live in a high altitude urban area such as Denver, CO, it shouldn't feel all that different - even if you're suffering from asthma or the likes.

Again, possibly stupid thing to mention, but statistically speaking, air travel is much more safer than by automobile.

I've been on several flights since I somehow managed to recover from this shit back in 2007, and other than temporarily being exposed to a higher amount of ionizing radiation from high energy particles and cosmic rays, I appear to be okay.
 
Yo guys, have been reading for a while now and thought I'd post my story. I'm a 24 year old boy from the neterlands.

For me it all started in november 2011, when i rolled for the first time with some friends, i took maybe 1 pill from 90 mg, this continued like once every 2 weeks until feb 2012. Then i took 2,5 x 180 mg, this is when i slowly started to change, i became more 'vague' to people, and things were changing slowly, in 2012 i rolled once maybe every 3 weeks, i then i got into a psychose but still no major problems (just thinking i could read thoughts that kinda stuff), still kept rolling tho, because my psycholgoist said it came from smoking weed (boy was she wrong). November 2012 was the last time i rolled, took like 2 pills and a bit of speed, got into a bad trip. But.. Still no LTC comedowns or anxiety shit or whatever!! I did changed a little bit in my head, wasnt as healthy and normal as someone who wouldnt roll, but still doing fine tho.

Then from november 2012 i still smoked weed, maybe 3-4 times a week, continually, i also had no job or school, so i felt worse and worse because i wasnt filling in the day, just gaming and sleeping kinda life, so slowly i started becoming worse and worse (no anxiety or whatever still), from august 2013 i started smoking weed on a daily basis, and i went to school so slept well and stuff (still no anxiety, althought, around this phase ive been starting to get really weird quircks, kept smoking till august 2014, then my LTC started, because I realised what I had done, i saw pictures of me before i started rolling till the day from now, and i saw that my personality changed from a nice social guy to a vague whatever.. ) From this phase I got into my 'I ruined my life point, so what I want to say is, when I REALISED what I had done, from that point, the anxiety/ltc/ruined my life moments started, i started to get extreme anxiety when i saw other people, vague, dreamy, whatever, HPPD. So, from me, it hasnt gotten right after extacy use! Its all in your fucking mind, althought, I dont feel like I was in the old days, due to my circumstances, (lost my gf, friends, because i didnt get contact with any1). But its all in ur mind, just dont think about it too much and stay busy, and sleep well (not too long or too short). ITs easy brahh. Ive rolled 20-25 times but never had real symptoms like this. I still am a bit vague atm, but i see its getting better every week, so it keeps me positive, any1 has some questions just ask
 
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ShortTermExpert said:
Sounds like you're doing pretty well :) Depression is one of the worst things about a whole LTC. It can really fuck with your life in a big way, and prevent you from doing the things, such as being active and socialising, that can really help recovery. It's good you're not having to deal with it.

I wish you all the best in continuing your recovery. Hypnic jerks can really suck. I remember the ones I were getting the day after I'd finished my massive 3 day binge. The jerk was so intense I jumped out of bed and thought I was going to die right there and then. They've subsided in intensity for me since then and some nights I don't get them at all, but it's still something I'm dealing with fairly occasionally.

Interesting that your issues didn't begin until after caffeine and alcohol. Were you getting anything at all until the red bulls and vodka?
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Thanks for the nice words! Yes, from reading the stories here, I guess I can consider myself "lucky" that it was not worse than it is. However, I'm really pissed that I know people that take twice as much as I took (I know a guy that took 6 pills in one night) and they are fine, they are still taking once a month, or even more often! I guess perhaps their problems are different than mine, and eventually, it catches us all.

I swear I did not have anything outside the vodka and the red bulls. I was pretty "tipsy", but that's all I took. I guess my brain was not ready for that after the month in Ibiza. Oh well, I'm still young, and if someone can recover from an ACV I can recover from this in some months/years. I have plenty of time to live, right? We need to stay positive :)
 
nightElf said:
Thanks for all the info! It's a lot, and a bit technical for me hehe!

Don't worry, I'm not mixing SJW with HTP-5, I'm not taking any HTP-5 at all, doctor told me to stay away from it. Also I'm not mixing it with Clonazepan, as I'm currently not taking any. I've never been with antidepressants, not now and not before.
The Lyrica helped me during the worst brain zaps, at first. I was only taking 25mg before going to sleep. I was also having the Exploding Head Syndrome, which is annoying but not as annoying as the brain zaps. I took magnesium, but I don't think it did any difference to be honest.
Another thing that I'm taking, when I have a hard time sleeping, is melatonin, one capsule.

Another study that the Dr. ordered is cortisol, dopamine, adrenaline, noradrenaline and serotonin (blood test). All were fine, within the normal ranges, serotonin was a bit low (91 ng/ml, the reference values were 20-230 nl/ml) but it was in range.

Oh! I forgot one thing, which is "weird", but might explain some of the things I felt: when I'm about to get my period (a couple of days before) and a couple of days into the period, I almost have no problems (no zaps, no jumping, I sleep well). I've read that when the women are in their period, they create less serotonin, that's why we feel so down sometimes. Perhaps one fix is something that inhibits the serotonin generation for a couple of months?
Click to expand...

So do you havw anxiety or not? The neurotransmitter tests like the serotonin mean nothing since blood and brain are totally different as serotonin doesnt cross the BBB.

For the other stuff like cortisol or other endocrine hormones, the ranges are so wide that everyone will technically be in the normal range. For cortisol am it goes from like 3-20 ug/dL or 8-20 ug/dL. But healthy ppl without anxiety have am cortisol from 17-20. AND thats when unstressed. When you have anxiety and are stressed out, an AM cortisol of like 13 or 14 which is in the normal range is not good at all cause cortisol should increase in order to counteract increased adrenaline from anxiety.

So if its NOT elevated then depending on ur stress/anxiety levels you are experiencing adrenal insufficiency/HPA Dysfunction.

Severe anxiety and cortisol not elevated points to that. The lab ranges are meant for addisons/cushings clear cut cases not these functional disorders.
 
Strangestuff said:
So do you havw anxiety or not? The neurotransmitter tests like the serotonin mean nothing since blood and brain are totally different as serotonin doesnt cross the BBB.

For the other stuff like cortisol or other endocrine hormones, the ranges are so wide that everyone will technically be in the normal range. For cortisol am it goes from like 3-20 ug/dL or 8-20 ug/dL. But healthy ppl without anxiety have am cortisol from 17-20. AND thats when unstressed. When you have anxiety and are stressed out, an AM cortisol of like 13 or 14 which is in the normal range is not good at all cause cortisol should increase in order to counteract increased adrenaline from anxiety.

So if its NOT elevated then depending on ur stress/anxiety levels you are experiencing adrenal insufficiency/HPA Dysfunction.

Severe anxiety and cortisol not elevated points to that. The lab ranges are meant for addisons/cushings clear cut cases not these functional disorders.
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There were part of the original tests that the Dr. ordered for me. I'm not a doctor, so I'm not sure if they make sense or not :) I'm just saying that all were within range (the results also have a "range value", and all the values were within range). The initial diagnosis was "anxiety" because I was trembling, like if I was on too much caffeine.
 
So after one whole year, I feel a shit load better. Pretty much recovered for the last 3-4 months and been able to smoke weed daily again! Yet have felt a slight set back with anxiety the last few days, slightly edgy and intrusive silly thoughts. Anyone ever just been shocked that they exist? If ya know what I mean
 
Ribs still hurt along with chest, and left arm feels numb... apart from that going strong and the pulse when in bed is the worst. Nothings that bad though, just physical pain 24/7. especially ribs lately
 
hours after rolling - inner cheek has bitten marks, I have to piss every hour, My body is sore, My mind is peaceful yet I am having regrets of some things I've done/say last night. I keep telling myself I won't roll this weekend but I still end up going to nightclub with my two rolling friends. The music and dancing is good, but it's really hard to dance without the drug.
 
Mazzab said:
That's no good friend. Probably a sign to relax aittle.
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you are right, mdma gives me the energy to dance without judgment from other people. I don't care how bad I dance but I have the energy to bust my moves. When I'm sober, my legs are usually limp and I worry about what others think of my dance moves.
 
Your still the same person sober or not. You CAN dance sober. Don't worry about others. I see you love trance as do I. Such an accepting crowd. No one will judge. E is just some icing on the cake. It shouldn't be the reason you express your love and energy. Just a little extra to make that special night even better
 
trancetasy said:
you are right, mdma gives me the energy to dance without judgment from other people. I don't care how bad I dance but I have the energy to bust my moves. When I'm sober, my legs are usually limp and I worry about what others think of my dance moves.
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This comment pretty much sums up the fundamental reason why I continued frequently consuming MDMA in various forms (pills, capsules, etc.) for several years.

When rolling, whatever happens, no matter how stupid I may look busting a move or two on the dance floor, I am always at peace mentally and emotionally speaking.

The only time I've ever gone from rolling on good MDMA to feeling awfully sober really quick was when I had a loaded gun a couple of inches from my left ear, and ended up getting robbed. That was... traumatic, but I digress.

I happen to know many other people who use MDMA for the same reason - they're very self conscious when sober, and cannot find the courage to dance, nor to even try and talk to anyone they find sexually attractive. However, under the influence of MDMA, it's a completely different story. You'd swear that this is how they're supposed to behave (when they don't overdo it with the dosage).

As a result of such observations and first hand experience with the drug, I strongly believe that it could prove to be a very useful physician supervised tool with respect to certain mental illnesses such as severe PTSD, and apparently I'm not the only one (not even close).

Hopefully we'll continue as a society to make rational, scientifically-backed progress in relation to the war on drugs in general. The sooner it ends, the sooner that doctors who wish to conduct research with 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine will be able to do so instead of having to ask the DEA (greedy and crooked law enforcing; law expoiting bureaucrats who are certainly no experts when it comes to 'street drug' related addiction, physical dependency, neuropsychopharmacology, and so forth) for permission, which is frankly disgraceful in a 'free' country IMO, but I digress.
 
I wonder if what caused us to end up in this state is biological or mental. I mean, there are lots of studies on MDMA, yet I can't seem to find ONE official report of someone having a 'ltc'. I just wonder if it's like a mentel weakness or something like the brain being structured differently.

EDIT: I mean, we're literally science... If someone was to study the extend of the drug and adverse mental effects, this thread and the people here would be a big gold mine!
 
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