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mdma on your own.

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tennant90

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 8, 2014
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103
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hey guys. i took half a pill tonight and i'm shocked at how strong they are now. well, to how strong they were 4-5 years ago. It was nice. I was at a funky night where they were playing motown and such. I took the half around half 1 AM. still feeling it now but i came up at the best moment when the music started getting to its peak.

anyway, i'm at home now and i go through stages of being tired and i really want to sleep and then the drug kicks back in. I know you can't switch it off with a click of fingers but id' like to know how you guys roll on your own. I get trapped in my thoughts a lot and i feel when i'm there the drug intensifies that focus i'm going through. most of the time it can be shit going through life and how it is going.

I don't really know where this is going as such but on my way home i was thinking about what part drugs play in our lives? Are they there to treat anything we lack? Asin emotions. are they there to feed what we need. I can't really explain what i'm trying to saying but if i could i would say that we take drugs to give us a sense of satisfaction. not a sort that gives us that concious feeling of awesomeness but i think it's at a subconcious level. a way where in the past when culture was different we could have adventure, adrenaline and focus without drugs, like a battle with the vikings or something. Maybe we shouldn't be concious of such things in the present day. either way we are human and what ever we should feel is normal, shoudn't it?
i don't really know what point i was making here but if anyone can relate to my ramble i would love to see your insight.

either way, it will be interesting to see what i have wrote when i'm sober tomorrow. see if i have any answers to my own question.
 
Well, if I were to take MDMA by myself, I would probably also have a quite introspective trip, such as the one you're describing in your post. I would use those insights to possibly come to some breakthroughs about my life that I might not have been open to in my sober state of mind. Maybe by figuring out what role drugs play in your life you can begin to free yourself from the burdens you may be carrying. Just my .02 :)
 
i see.the role of drugs is more important into how and where you take them. i don't take them specifically by myself. the reason why i am is because my mates went to a party and i have work in the morning so i need relaxing time and a lil sleep but because im on my own under the influence i got pondering.
i'm a very inward thinker anyway and my relationship with drugs has always been a tipsy turvy ploy. well, since i was about 18 anyway. im 24 now and the nice time where when i was 16-17.

a deeper question could be, can drugs find you answers? but at the same time, what if drugs distort your question? is there anything to really worry about? or is this focus something to act upon? if it is then i really wouldn't know how.
i
 
The person that you are says a lot about whether you even partake upon the drug quest. There's a huge segment of people in society who never take them and still ponder the deep mysteries of life. I think the people with a tendency to be adventurous, risky, fun-seeking and wild tend to be open enough to take substances.

In some ways, it depends on whether that person wants to go against the norm. As we all know, we are all taught to never do them and that they lead towards destruction. Drugs are mind altering, and they significantly change our perception of everything to the point that we start to question why we do them. In my opinion, most of us do it because we are pleasure-seeking by nature. Whether it helps or hurts us, drugs are but one option in which we achieve that goal. It is one, HUGE option though. The "sober" people do other things like eat ice cream, go on Facebook, watch sports, play cards or whatever. Of course, we can do all of that too but usually people who choose not to drugs make that conscious decision while focusing on other things.

As for the rest of us? It is the variability, intensity, feeling and changes to our senses that drives us to go out and get them, so to speak. It's just fun and enjoyable, whether it's used for religious, spiritual or personal enhancement it does not matter. We do them because we want to. Whether by ourselves or with others, they fill up a void that we seek to fill. And that goes for every one of us, users or not, we want to enjoy our lives.

I see this most passionately at raves, parties, weddings and gatherings. People just want to be happy and have fun. Drugs are just one option available, and if used responsibly, it does what we want it to.
 
Drugs won't find you answers, you do. Drugs, specifically psychedelics are only tools that may help you by giving hints and ideas you would have never thought about while being sober. It is still you who does the thinking and usually those ideas need some working on to mature them to be truly useful information in your everyday life. Sometimes it takes a few days, sometimes weeks and sometimes a lifetime. Of course sudden revelations can happen that may present themselves as the truth at the time of tripping but they also require a second look to check their validity.
 
Benzodiazepines. Always have benzos on deck in your medicine cabinet, glove box whatever. Or for those of you who are not as quite developed as the rest of society and have not found yourself a home of some kind--keep an Advil bottle mixed with a few benzos in your backpack. Always keep them shits on deck for a smooth transition back to life from what ever mistake you chose to make. You're('ll) gunna need em
 
At work now after a couple hours sleep. I feel fairly fresh considering what went on last night.

But yeah, even if I had adventure in my life and all that I would most probably still take drugs. Here's the thing. I've experianced that feeling at the peak where everything is perfect and still. I don't know who ide be if I didn't take drugs now but even so I am now persuing something that I have had a deep interest in since I was a kid, before I even knew these chemicals existed. I don't think drugs alter your path when done correctly like what kl519 said.

What if we lived in a world where taking drugs was more socially acceptable? And we could just do them when performing simple everyday tasks. I'm not saying the whole world will become immobile because we are distracted by the pretty colours and Shit. My point is more about the proper use of drugs. Is there a true pinnacle to their potential? But like others have said here. It is still your own brain and thoughts. I guess a drugs potential can only reach your own potential.
 
Psychedelics for one could be dangerous if oversensitive, unstable or otherwise mentally ill could also get it easily (ok, they can now but not on that large scale like it wasn't illegal) so it's not like we could legalize it straightaway even if it's socially acceptable. Also, stimulants DO have abuse potential which effects on society we cannot even think of if it would go large scale. Drugs are not for everyone.
Even if we lived in a world like that, most people wouldn't take drugs to perform everyday tasks. First of all many substances make it really hard to concentrate on a given thing that you're not interested otherwise. I cannot imagine myself washing dishes on LSD. I wouldn't do drugs just to be in that specific state without a goal and they also take their toll with time, building tolerance, loosing novelty. I say roll once a month, trip 1-2 times a month (preferably on different substances and try to integrate what you have learnt), use amphetamine as an emergency button only when you have to get your shit together in short notice, and spice your life up with a bit of weed once a week or so, I know everyday use is counterproductive.
 
Yeah to think about it relative to how we are now its not like we can drink alcohol at work and thats legal.

I dont take drugs too much but this Month I've tripped twice, smoked weed and done pills. It's like nothing for ages and then doing it all in one go. Just happens. I enjoy having a blow out every once in a while. Keep up with yaself.
 
I agree with this. It's one of the reasons certain drugs will stay illegal. Imagine the chaos that would ensue if, say, lsd was made legal. In the hands of hundreds of millions, even billions, there would be untold tragedies, accidents and deaths on top of what exists today. Not by the drug itself, but by its legal use in everyday life when performing tasks of all kinds. Not everyone is going to follow the safety guidelines, especially on a large scale like myr mentioned. Drugs certainly aren't for everyone.

But ultimately, they aren't terribly important either. It's sure fun to talk about and indulge in them somewhat, but it's certainly nothing anyone should center their lives around for too long of a time. Unless you are an occasional user, or are able to enhance your life in a way where it does not negatively affect other parts, then it's not much different than going out and enjoying recreational activities. As for doing it to enhance your day? I think some are doable. People do take some stimulants like Adderall and go about their day. Psychedelics are too altering visually and mentally. Dissociatives...nah. Cannabis...idk. Low doses of them...maybe. But I think weekends can be perfect for anyone that wants to use them.

Hah, I think the "underground" society finds it acceptable already. There's definitely a responsible way to take this stuff. It's a bit of an extreme example and their life's work revolved around it, but Dr. Shulgin and Hoffman sure had their shit straight and took chems all the time. I also read an article about how a lot of directors, chairmen, and CEO's take hardcore substances to get away from the demands of their jobs. Some of them even on the job, which I find comical. I'm sure there's a good number of regular folks who do fine while taking substances too. I just don't know about aspiring to be like that though. To each their own, I guess.

Personally, it would be too demanding for me to keep it up for too long. I've already done too much, and it's damning to know that I barely scratched the surface of the sheer amount I haven't even tried yet. Oh well. Maybe in my later years, I could catch up if I still care by then.
 
I can't say for anyone using crack, meth and stimulants on a regular basis that they are 'doing fine'. Nor for people who spend a whole week on LSD more than once. My point is that if someone uses drugs as an escape route from the harshness of this world - is not doing fine. I just realised recently during a trip that I use mary jane like that and I feel bad about it and thinking about a way to change it. I work 12 hrs and when I get home the first thing is a joint every night.
Luckily I have learned in time that I should respect each substance and use them as tools. Mdma for raves, classic psychedelics for ego softening and thinking (also for psychedelic raves), 2cb for admiring art and nature on a scale that's simply not possible otherwise.
This week hopefully I'll have my first encounter with DMT. I'm preparing myself for months now :)
 
Cool. good luck with the DMT taking :) tell us how it goes. My friends are getting masculine soon and trying it out. They're a couple mind you and will only have enough for themselves but it gives me a way to get told what it's like. One day, maybe, I will take it too.

Well yeah, like giving someone LSD to take and doing it responsibly like any other drug is up to them. It's like giving someone a gun and saying "here take this, it's legal". Here, as you can see, we have a problem. We have ppl shooting ppl because they just aren't responsible to even have a fire arm. But they carry one and sometimes shit happens. Same as taking LSD (note: I have not taken LSD yet but I have had some intense shroom trips), if you're stupid to take it without knowing what to do with it then it is their own fault and that's how shit happens in the first place. Education is what we need. Not the whole drugs are bad bullshit. If I knew about ecstasy and serotonin before I abused years ago I probably would have saved myself 6 months of hastle. In any case good things came from that experience but that's another story.

Education on how it effects the brain and how to take it and be safe is a Damn sight more important than just saying they're bad. Scare stories don't work for teenagers. You're either going to take it or not. It all depends on your background like friends, social pressure, ppl who actually take it ect.

Channel 4 (UK channel on t.v. if you aren't from here) did a program on ecstasy. They also filmed people taking it. One person. Freaked, another loved it. Either way, they were in a controlled environment. The person who loved it in that moment could have hated it in another setting, maybe. Wise versa for the other guy. the program was definitely for ecstasy thiugh. Not a single scare story and it was extremely informative. Even watching it with my family seemed to open a lot of doors towards how I felt knowing I've taken such a thing. It's just a shame that a t.v. program has to get there first to change people's perspective.
 
Thanks, definitely going to write a report here, if I'll be able to put it in words, haha :)

A Holland channel also aired a program about X, and you can immediately see how different they think about the topic.
The guy checks in with the ambulance parking outside the club for him, they take his pulse, blood pressure, etc then tell him to have fun. Later he goes back to check his lifesigns again when he's peaking to find everything ok, then he goes back to dance some more :)
Here (has english subs)

XTC MDMA Ecstacy Drugstest Nr 3 Spuiten en Slikke…: http://youtu.be/9SlAMsaQbM4
 
Great responses here. I've always enjoyed healthy discussions and/or debates. There aren't many other good places to talk about these topics.
 
My first time doig MDMA was acrually alone, had a fucking strong pill ( bout 220 mg) wich lasted me all night and led me to do all kinds of shit, sneaked around a big fabric pretending to be Sam Fisher and stuff xD ah gooood times
 
can't go wrong with a healthy discussion. especially when it flows nicely. it is rare to have a discussion anywhere on the internet really.

that video was pretty cool. at the beginning when he was like "i can take it now?". gulps it and half hour later he's got the biggest fuck off smile you've ever seen.

relationship with drugs could also play a part in how the affect you. when i was younger i had a hard time with my family when i smoked weed. they where fully against it but i did it anyway. i was 16 and had mates. it was actually pretty awesome. we would always just navigate the town i lived in at the time and find loads of cool places. obviously we didn't need to be on drugs to do that but going out and meeting each other for a J definitely helped us get out the house.

anyway, on topic, i started getting panic attacks on weed cos my uncle told me it would give me a heart attack if i take too much. obviously now i know that's complete bull. thing is i beleived at the time and a few weeks later i took a killer shotty and went into class. completely fucking zoned out and had to walk out of class cos my heart was racing. little did i know that it was actually an anxiety attack i was having while high. ever since then i have controlled my attacks and im pretty fucking normal now, thank god. the thing is that i sometimes shoot through on drugs sometimes. well, the harder ones. not weed anymore. sometimes i do need to just be in the mood to take drugs. but when im with people its awesome. when im on my own though theres always an empty shell almost like i don't actually know what to do on drugs when i'm on my own. that could possibly be it. i'm always so used to being with others that being with myself in that state just doesn't work for me possibly.

so now i ask, what are good things to do on your own if your're on E? is there an all time universal activity to do on it?
 
I actually enjoy taking MDMA w/out my girlfriend sometimes. I usually just end up blasting music and spinning poi or glowsticks for hours at a time and playing Skyrim on the comedown with a cup of kratom tea. Some would call this a waste, but not me...very enjoyable. Never had any introspection whatsoever from MDMA though, alone or with others...

Just realised that this thread has nothing to do with doing MDMA alone, kind of a misleading title. Oh well, serves me right for not reading the OP.
 
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Yeah, we've gone pretty much off topic here :)
The title should go like 'taking mdma alone, drugs in general and the meaning of life' lol (42 of course)

To be honest I wouldn't know what to do on mdma if I took it alone. That's why I'd never do it alone in the first place. I just don't see the reason since it's so much fun with company.
The one month wait makes it even more special and there's always a grand event where we can dance our ass off and that's the only thing I want high on X. Every other activity feels like wasting my precious time in mdma land. Except smoking cigarettes during breaks lol (bad habit I know)
 
I quite enjoy doing mdma on my own. It's important to prepare before you roll though. I like to use dildos and stuff on myself when I party. Coloured lights and hours of music ready.
 
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