nanobrain
Bluelighter
MDMA, Methylone, DMT, N2O, Cannabis, Alcohol, Alprazolam – Enlightened as Fuck?
T 0:00 after a 6 month break, one half of pill containing 120mg MDMA chewed and swallowed on an empty stomach (well, discounting the 2g piracetam, 250mg choline, 1,000mg l-phenylalanine, ginseng, coffee and peach, i.e. breakfast) and chased with a cold lager by a late 30’s male biorobot rather experienced with most things psychoactive and well versed in neuropsychopharmacology as well as nuances of own metabolism.
Objective: to work with MDMA alone, in order to reframe a rather miscontextualised 2C-C experience some time back, put some effort into a D&B remix of the Soulmate’s upcoming (sure to be multi-platinum) single; this after the initial psychological processing, and spend some quality time with said Soulmate and cohorts who i have not seen for awhile.
Set: low energy though body well rested, mind befuddled despite the long holiday weekend and the morning nootropics, perhaps due to 2 still recent economy hell intercontinental flights that left me flu and cramp ridden for a duration; should really spend some more time caring for the body. defragging the house helped some.
Setting: beautiful late summer afternoon, my place on the beachside, sun through the windows, Nag Champa for the olfactories, broadband connection, LCD's mixers and multiple sonic projectors, music - psychedelic mishmash as per usual, fruit, croissants and cheese snacks, cold beers aplenty, a few cosmonaut friends dropping by.
initial MDMA warmth developing within 25 minutes, conversation with friends flows easy, they are drinking moderately, not partaking in phenylethylamines. we pass around a few cones of fine Aussie sativa outdoor, a lighter smoke, headache free and uplifting, a welcome change from the couch-surf inducing hydro prevalent these days.
T 0:45 lo and behold, a blast from the past, a gleaming cherry red whipped cream maker (this one is a 60’s Hungarian original, came in a box w/instructions and spare parts) appears from V’s bag of tricks.
nangs (that’s what Aussies call N2O whippits) are shared to the bubbling weirdness of some electronic dub comp. i inhale a whole in one, the takeoff is evident but the expected euphoric empathogenic qualities of MDMA are not on the level, if you will.
T 1:00 the other half of the MDMA pill down the hatch. the nitrous made me fiend for more stimulation. thoughts clear, depression, coiling from nowhere early in the day, causeless and thus anxiety followed is now gone, but i can tell the peak of the pill will not bring me to the place where i need to be, this clear as day after a couple more nangs (bloody oath, i love Aussie slang).
off for a sunset walk along the beach for a change of scene and in a quest for ice-cream for one of the girls, the weather has changed and its blowing cold from the bay, we head to a café and watch the myriads of seagulls drifting almost fishlike off the warm thermals rising from the day-heated concrete buildings in the orange sun, making their own lazy time across the Latin swing adding bounce to the ounce from a nearby outdoor club. this gets boring after some minutes and back to my place we go to warm up and see what develops.
T 2:30 oh well, Lord, i am weak. 168mg methylone neat, alright, chased with a beer. the smell of the stuff always makes me think of cookies. a few more cones to calm the nerves, configuring the laptop to play full screen on the TV is surprisingly doable although, while this is taking place, i have time to consider a few things at once - like the nature of psychosomatic illness, vibrational states of Bonsai trees, real-time morphogenesis, why i am wasting time hooking up the laptop to the TV - ah, to watch a friend’s new DVD clip which proves highly psychedelic and well crafted, complemented nicely by a few more cones.
T 3:30 the Methylone is a Hummer riding over the struggling weaselmobil that is the MDMA – i guess my tolerance to the stuff is somewhat permanent after 20-odd years, even with extended periods of abstinence, but now the mood is great, euphoric waves course through my body, brilliant clarity, there is no tension whatsoever, breathing is easy - air as well as nitrous, music is now going …
well, the psychointegrative work plan is forgotten, hedonism abounds, pure debauchery, porch monkeys we are, a smokin and a tokin, talking shit really, at this point and i am peaking my ass off, ie frying, soaring live Indian psy chillout w/sitars and dirty full-on Russian psytrance battle with Beta Band in the background.
there is time constriction. the Soulmate comes home, does a doubletake on the size of my pupils, but she grins and bears it even though she takes no drugs, ever. i nuzzle in her long warm, hay-scented hair, feel the luscious suppleness of her tan body and for more than a few seconds wish the friends would disappear for awhile…hheh.
T 4:30 this is the terrapin of the combined peak of both MDMA and Methylone, i wonder, then doubt if there is anything else to be gained from a booster of either and reject the idea. i am in a very pleasant state indeed, mind, soul and body...and what about that DMT says Y?
oh crikety, that’s right, some DMT-rich acacia shavings (as Shulgin points out, the wattle is our national floral emblem, after all) blended into a Damiana base - a kinder, gentler version of the full-on DMT concentrates. this particular magical blend was materialised by the learned ethnobotanical elves in them thar’ hills, stored away from unspecial occasions and promptly forgotten.
today feels fairly special. the acacia shavings are loaded and the cones are passed among my compadres, who I must say have a special predilection to the elves’ concoction. i hesitate for a moment, then say what the fuck, pack a fatty, and inhale deep, holding the actually pleasant DMT smoke as long as i can, saying a prayer in my mind.
i note the words in my head become visual symbols in front of my open eyes, geometrics descend like a wave from above the field of vision somewhat shaky at the time, after i exhale, accompanied by a radical tangential shift in consciousness. there is no carrier wave sound this time, but the visual and verbal / musical have meshed precisely into fractals of intertwined meaning.
sitting down of course for this one, incredibly more visual than nitrous. a minute later, i feel a tug and an invitation from on high, to come to a place a few levels beyond, a realm of wonder where logos are living, evolving crystal 4 dimensional constructs. this place, and it is such, is albeit far outside my body.
not ready to leave the body and the Methylone keeps my astral self at bay, i realise 5 minutes later when the geometrics recrystallise into distinct physical shapes. sounds resolve and the conversation is now on Pribram, Talbot, the Tarot, Sheldrake and Schroedinger, holographic universe theories.
the psychonauts, DMT’d to the stratosphere, or to the gills, are purposely changing letters in some words or words in sentences to hilarious effect disassembling and recombining English along with other languages. this continues until the yawns from the others are growing ever deeper.
T 8:00 friends and beers gone, Soulmate is asleep disappointed, work tomorrow, waay before my bedtime, which is coming when? doh! cant remix now unless i use headphones and them Cubase buttons are small mothers, another plan shot to shit. can type this though, which seems good enough to release the building tension meanwhile.
T 9:00 1mg alprazolam as the tension is very evident in neck. pupils huge, heartbeat in the high 80s, complete anorexia, some jaw clenching but overall, still feeling great. the comedown is probably, ahem, not going to be mild, serotonergic and dopaminergic depletion looms imminent, some antioxidants before bed are in order…
T 10:00 …as is another 1mg alprazolam. would at this point take 5-HTP if i didn’t hate it so.
Conclusion: what did i learn from this trip that i did not know already? FUCK ALL, except a reconfirm that i am a hedonistic bastard, and the fact that i prefer Methylone to MDMA.
but the combination was novel, oh and that traumatic 2C-C stuff seems somehow to be reframed now.
know thyself and respect your limits y’all.
nano’s brain out.
T 0:00 after a 6 month break, one half of pill containing 120mg MDMA chewed and swallowed on an empty stomach (well, discounting the 2g piracetam, 250mg choline, 1,000mg l-phenylalanine, ginseng, coffee and peach, i.e. breakfast) and chased with a cold lager by a late 30’s male biorobot rather experienced with most things psychoactive and well versed in neuropsychopharmacology as well as nuances of own metabolism.
Objective: to work with MDMA alone, in order to reframe a rather miscontextualised 2C-C experience some time back, put some effort into a D&B remix of the Soulmate’s upcoming (sure to be multi-platinum) single; this after the initial psychological processing, and spend some quality time with said Soulmate and cohorts who i have not seen for awhile.
Set: low energy though body well rested, mind befuddled despite the long holiday weekend and the morning nootropics, perhaps due to 2 still recent economy hell intercontinental flights that left me flu and cramp ridden for a duration; should really spend some more time caring for the body. defragging the house helped some.
Setting: beautiful late summer afternoon, my place on the beachside, sun through the windows, Nag Champa for the olfactories, broadband connection, LCD's mixers and multiple sonic projectors, music - psychedelic mishmash as per usual, fruit, croissants and cheese snacks, cold beers aplenty, a few cosmonaut friends dropping by.
initial MDMA warmth developing within 25 minutes, conversation with friends flows easy, they are drinking moderately, not partaking in phenylethylamines. we pass around a few cones of fine Aussie sativa outdoor, a lighter smoke, headache free and uplifting, a welcome change from the couch-surf inducing hydro prevalent these days.
T 0:45 lo and behold, a blast from the past, a gleaming cherry red whipped cream maker (this one is a 60’s Hungarian original, came in a box w/instructions and spare parts) appears from V’s bag of tricks.
nangs (that’s what Aussies call N2O whippits) are shared to the bubbling weirdness of some electronic dub comp. i inhale a whole in one, the takeoff is evident but the expected euphoric empathogenic qualities of MDMA are not on the level, if you will.
T 1:00 the other half of the MDMA pill down the hatch. the nitrous made me fiend for more stimulation. thoughts clear, depression, coiling from nowhere early in the day, causeless and thus anxiety followed is now gone, but i can tell the peak of the pill will not bring me to the place where i need to be, this clear as day after a couple more nangs (bloody oath, i love Aussie slang).
off for a sunset walk along the beach for a change of scene and in a quest for ice-cream for one of the girls, the weather has changed and its blowing cold from the bay, we head to a café and watch the myriads of seagulls drifting almost fishlike off the warm thermals rising from the day-heated concrete buildings in the orange sun, making their own lazy time across the Latin swing adding bounce to the ounce from a nearby outdoor club. this gets boring after some minutes and back to my place we go to warm up and see what develops.
T 2:30 oh well, Lord, i am weak. 168mg methylone neat, alright, chased with a beer. the smell of the stuff always makes me think of cookies. a few more cones to calm the nerves, configuring the laptop to play full screen on the TV is surprisingly doable although, while this is taking place, i have time to consider a few things at once - like the nature of psychosomatic illness, vibrational states of Bonsai trees, real-time morphogenesis, why i am wasting time hooking up the laptop to the TV - ah, to watch a friend’s new DVD clip which proves highly psychedelic and well crafted, complemented nicely by a few more cones.
T 3:30 the Methylone is a Hummer riding over the struggling weaselmobil that is the MDMA – i guess my tolerance to the stuff is somewhat permanent after 20-odd years, even with extended periods of abstinence, but now the mood is great, euphoric waves course through my body, brilliant clarity, there is no tension whatsoever, breathing is easy - air as well as nitrous, music is now going …
well, the psychointegrative work plan is forgotten, hedonism abounds, pure debauchery, porch monkeys we are, a smokin and a tokin, talking shit really, at this point and i am peaking my ass off, ie frying, soaring live Indian psy chillout w/sitars and dirty full-on Russian psytrance battle with Beta Band in the background.
there is time constriction. the Soulmate comes home, does a doubletake on the size of my pupils, but she grins and bears it even though she takes no drugs, ever. i nuzzle in her long warm, hay-scented hair, feel the luscious suppleness of her tan body and for more than a few seconds wish the friends would disappear for awhile…hheh.
T 4:30 this is the terrapin of the combined peak of both MDMA and Methylone, i wonder, then doubt if there is anything else to be gained from a booster of either and reject the idea. i am in a very pleasant state indeed, mind, soul and body...and what about that DMT says Y?
oh crikety, that’s right, some DMT-rich acacia shavings (as Shulgin points out, the wattle is our national floral emblem, after all) blended into a Damiana base - a kinder, gentler version of the full-on DMT concentrates. this particular magical blend was materialised by the learned ethnobotanical elves in them thar’ hills, stored away from unspecial occasions and promptly forgotten.
today feels fairly special. the acacia shavings are loaded and the cones are passed among my compadres, who I must say have a special predilection to the elves’ concoction. i hesitate for a moment, then say what the fuck, pack a fatty, and inhale deep, holding the actually pleasant DMT smoke as long as i can, saying a prayer in my mind.
i note the words in my head become visual symbols in front of my open eyes, geometrics descend like a wave from above the field of vision somewhat shaky at the time, after i exhale, accompanied by a radical tangential shift in consciousness. there is no carrier wave sound this time, but the visual and verbal / musical have meshed precisely into fractals of intertwined meaning.
sitting down of course for this one, incredibly more visual than nitrous. a minute later, i feel a tug and an invitation from on high, to come to a place a few levels beyond, a realm of wonder where logos are living, evolving crystal 4 dimensional constructs. this place, and it is such, is albeit far outside my body.
not ready to leave the body and the Methylone keeps my astral self at bay, i realise 5 minutes later when the geometrics recrystallise into distinct physical shapes. sounds resolve and the conversation is now on Pribram, Talbot, the Tarot, Sheldrake and Schroedinger, holographic universe theories.
the psychonauts, DMT’d to the stratosphere, or to the gills, are purposely changing letters in some words or words in sentences to hilarious effect disassembling and recombining English along with other languages. this continues until the yawns from the others are growing ever deeper.
T 8:00 friends and beers gone, Soulmate is asleep disappointed, work tomorrow, waay before my bedtime, which is coming when? doh! cant remix now unless i use headphones and them Cubase buttons are small mothers, another plan shot to shit. can type this though, which seems good enough to release the building tension meanwhile.
T 9:00 1mg alprazolam as the tension is very evident in neck. pupils huge, heartbeat in the high 80s, complete anorexia, some jaw clenching but overall, still feeling great. the comedown is probably, ahem, not going to be mild, serotonergic and dopaminergic depletion looms imminent, some antioxidants before bed are in order…
T 10:00 …as is another 1mg alprazolam. would at this point take 5-HTP if i didn’t hate it so.
Conclusion: what did i learn from this trip that i did not know already? FUCK ALL, except a reconfirm that i am a hedonistic bastard, and the fact that i prefer Methylone to MDMA.
but the combination was novel, oh and that traumatic 2C-C stuff seems somehow to be reframed now.
know thyself and respect your limits y’all.
nano’s brain out.
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