sheer_interest
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2013
- Messages
- 2
Hi All,
I've just signed up I'm not 100% sure if this is the right area to be posting this question, but I will put it here for now and if a moderator feels it should be moved then that's cool.
To give a brief background, I have used/used MDMA/MDA/ecstasy for approximately a year and a half leading up to the middle of this year. Up until this point, every single experience I had with it was obviously awesome; I never had any dramas and only good times, maybe one shit pill, but that's about it. Admittedly, like any inexperienced user who falls in love with the drug, I abused it and was rolling far too often. Over the course of the year, I would have easily had 30+ experiences. Nonetheless, I never really experienced any serious negative consequences, aside from feeling a bit shit or cloudy a decent amount of the time. I should add that I built a relatively high tolerance over this period and was consuming relatively large amounts of the drug on a given night.
Anyway.. One night I was at a house party and we acquired pills. The pills were known to be MDA.. I did not really think about it at the time, I may have known they were MDA, may not have, regardless, I didn't really care. I won't say how many of said pills I acquired but it was not insignificant. I proceeded to take all of them in a relatively short space of time. I was all good for the first few hours, then I began to have pretty intense visuals. I had experienced some visuals on MDA in the past, but not to this degree. For example, I saw lagre amounts of smoke inside the house that simply wasn't there and simple behaviours such as drinking from a glass or lighting a cigarette would temporarily appear completely different to their normal construction in day to day life. Hallucinations like this had never thrown me in the past, I would just be like "yeh that's a bit weird" and then continue on my way. I did this for the most part, but it definitely had me a bit confused and threw me a bit off my guard.
Shortly after this, I felt a stab of pain in my side for a second. (Note: The pain never returned). I went and sat outside for a second, as it shocked me and I began to realise that my heart was beating EXTREMELY fast. Obviously this is somewhat normal and under this level of stimulation my body is naturally going to respond in this manner. However, this seemed to unlock some kind of anxiety in me. I was pretty panicked and stayed up the whole night with a friend trying to calm down. I considered going to hospital at least a few times. At a guess, I would say my heart was beating at around 150bpm, maybe even faster.
I decided to slow down on my usage a fair bit. In the interim, I experienced a number of panick attacks in day to day life, in very regular situations. My resting heart rate was also quite high. I went to the doctor, and did blood tests and an ECG and my heart is fine and everything is healthy. I was smoking cigarettes alot prior to the incident and have cut these out. I was also drinking very large amounts of caffeine, which I have also completely cut out.
I have, however, due to my own stupidity, used ecstasy three times since the occasion. (Stupid, I know, but it's the only drug I enjoy, including alcohol). Anyway, the first two times were relatively OK. I was definitely on edge and a bit panicked about my increased heart rate, but it was manageable. The third time I completely flipped out and had a full blown panick attack.
I would like to note that since this instance I have experienced far fewed panick attacks.
Anyway. My main question is... has anyone had a similar experience to this? Am I ever going to be able to use ecstasy again without having a panick attack? Is there anything I can do to get myself back into a situation where I am (mentally, and maybe to a lesser extent physically) fit to use it again? Anything else I should know?
Thank you
plur.
I've just signed up I'm not 100% sure if this is the right area to be posting this question, but I will put it here for now and if a moderator feels it should be moved then that's cool.
To give a brief background, I have used/used MDMA/MDA/ecstasy for approximately a year and a half leading up to the middle of this year. Up until this point, every single experience I had with it was obviously awesome; I never had any dramas and only good times, maybe one shit pill, but that's about it. Admittedly, like any inexperienced user who falls in love with the drug, I abused it and was rolling far too often. Over the course of the year, I would have easily had 30+ experiences. Nonetheless, I never really experienced any serious negative consequences, aside from feeling a bit shit or cloudy a decent amount of the time. I should add that I built a relatively high tolerance over this period and was consuming relatively large amounts of the drug on a given night.
Anyway.. One night I was at a house party and we acquired pills. The pills were known to be MDA.. I did not really think about it at the time, I may have known they were MDA, may not have, regardless, I didn't really care. I won't say how many of said pills I acquired but it was not insignificant. I proceeded to take all of them in a relatively short space of time. I was all good for the first few hours, then I began to have pretty intense visuals. I had experienced some visuals on MDA in the past, but not to this degree. For example, I saw lagre amounts of smoke inside the house that simply wasn't there and simple behaviours such as drinking from a glass or lighting a cigarette would temporarily appear completely different to their normal construction in day to day life. Hallucinations like this had never thrown me in the past, I would just be like "yeh that's a bit weird" and then continue on my way. I did this for the most part, but it definitely had me a bit confused and threw me a bit off my guard.
Shortly after this, I felt a stab of pain in my side for a second. (Note: The pain never returned). I went and sat outside for a second, as it shocked me and I began to realise that my heart was beating EXTREMELY fast. Obviously this is somewhat normal and under this level of stimulation my body is naturally going to respond in this manner. However, this seemed to unlock some kind of anxiety in me. I was pretty panicked and stayed up the whole night with a friend trying to calm down. I considered going to hospital at least a few times. At a guess, I would say my heart was beating at around 150bpm, maybe even faster.
I decided to slow down on my usage a fair bit. In the interim, I experienced a number of panick attacks in day to day life, in very regular situations. My resting heart rate was also quite high. I went to the doctor, and did blood tests and an ECG and my heart is fine and everything is healthy. I was smoking cigarettes alot prior to the incident and have cut these out. I was also drinking very large amounts of caffeine, which I have also completely cut out.
I have, however, due to my own stupidity, used ecstasy three times since the occasion. (Stupid, I know, but it's the only drug I enjoy, including alcohol). Anyway, the first two times were relatively OK. I was definitely on edge and a bit panicked about my increased heart rate, but it was manageable. The third time I completely flipped out and had a full blown panick attack.
I would like to note that since this instance I have experienced far fewed panick attacks.
Anyway. My main question is... has anyone had a similar experience to this? Am I ever going to be able to use ecstasy again without having a panick attack? Is there anything I can do to get myself back into a situation where I am (mentally, and maybe to a lesser extent physically) fit to use it again? Anything else I should know?
Thank you
plur.
