it didn't used to make me violent, it used to be just a really good thizz feeling but lately it has been giving me very violent thoughts, like just the littlest things will set me off for no reason, people even tell me i look like im about to kill someone. even when i look at my friends i get intense visuals of killing them. what happened to that good feeling i used to get? i have had to do some uncharacteristically bad things somewhat recently in my life while thizzin and while sober and was thinking maybe the mdma is picking on my subconscious thoughts, idk i just miss that high i used to get and dont understand why it has drastically changed so much from a happy blizz to a violent angry high. anyone else get this?
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mdma makes me have violent thoughts
- Thread starter jpinky
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fizzle
Bluelight Crew
Do you actually feel angry at them? Or is it just the thoughts but with no real emotion behind them?
Legerity
Bluelight Crew
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We are all capable of having violent thoughts, although it seems uncommon to have them on MDMA. It could be that you are usually able to block these thoughts out from day to day, but that once the barriers are down on MDMA they are able to come through without you rejecting them.
If you feel like you might act out on these thoughts then avoiding MDMA for a while could be something to consider.
If you feel like you might act out on these thoughts then avoiding MDMA for a while could be something to consider.
its kinda hard to explain but yes i do feel angry at them, like ill even have to go outside by myself and get a grip bc i start to scare myself, and i probably should mention i tend to take pills in large amounts, ill chew 3, wash it down with sum gin, an hour later ill chew 1 or 2 more then very hour ill pop a half depending on how i feel. i usally take 6-8 in a 4-6 hour period. also ill b drinking and smoking weed the whole time. but i have a naturally high tolerance to drugs it seems it always takes me a lot more to get on than everyone else, but ima big guy too, 6'4 220 lbs.
I had this happen to me before and so has my husband. It was my second time rolling which was over a year ago. At the time I was with this guy and he put a porno on. All the sudden, I got angry cuz I thought the girl in the porno was prettier than me. Then I hated the guy that I was there with. I went and took a shower(which I know now your not supposed 2 do) and I sat on the floor of the shower for almost an hour pulling my hair and thinking really bad things and I thought about how much I hated ecstsasy. When I got out of the shower I sat on the bed all pissed off and just wanted my roll to b over with. I sat there for 3 hours and just waited 2 come down. My husband and I were going thru a separation at the time so I wasn't with him when that happend.. When we did work things out a couple months later, we were rolling and sharing a house with our landlord. All the sudden my husband told me that he hated the landlord and wanted to beat the hell out of him. I made my husband go outside and right when we did my husband threw up. After that he was fine. My husband isn't an angry person either and neither am I so to b honest with u, I really think it was a combination of things. Maybe it was cut w/ something that MDMA isn't supposed to b cut with and with my situation I had a really bad day that day before I rolled and as for my husband he was really stressed out over all sorts of stuff.... Idk sorry so long but maybe u had a bad day the days uve been rolling?
The other day my roommate started yelling at me accusing me of kissing his girlfriend (his girlfriend is my cousin). All in all it was weird but the next morning he realized it was stupid, but a part of him still thinks it really did happen and he's chosen to ignore it.
My cousin and I were actually hugging cause we were talking about how we did everything together the summer we were 17 and 18. One time rode a riding lawn mower a couple blocks to a Conoco to get fountain drinks.
My cousin and I were actually hugging cause we were talking about how we did everything together the summer we were 17 and 18. One time rode a riding lawn mower a couple blocks to a Conoco to get fountain drinks.
ThizzMon$teR
Bluelighter
I actually have many friends who have more like "criminal thoughts" when they roll. Like they always say everybody is different. I don't necessarily agree with it but in a way I can understand why it gives them these thoughts.
The other day my roommate started yelling at me accusing me of kissing his girlfriend (his girlfriend is my cousin). All in all it was weird but the next morning he realized it was stupid, but a part of him still thinks it really did happen and he's chosen to ignore it.
My cousin and I were actually just hugging cause we were talking about how we did everything together the summer we were 17 and 18. One time rode a riding lawn mower a couple blocks to a Conoco to get fountain drinks.
My cousin and I were actually just hugging cause we were talking about how we did everything together the summer we were 17 and 18. One time rode a riding lawn mower a couple blocks to a Conoco to get fountain drinks.
MazDan
Bluelight Crew
Have you been testing your gear to ensure your getting the real deal?
thugthizzle
Greenlighter
when i take a bean i def get pissed off easily, and I know alot of thugs feel like playing with their guns when rollin lol smh
Are you naturally a violent person or quick to lose your temper ?
Is there an underlying problem with your group of friends or do you have these violent thoughts about other random people? What angers you about your friends?
MDMA is not known to make a naturally calm person violent but I know that speed or amps can make you feel that way. What happens when you roll alone or with a different group of people?
Is there an underlying problem with your group of friends or do you have these violent thoughts about other random people? What angers you about your friends?
MDMA is not known to make a naturally calm person violent but I know that speed or amps can make you feel that way. What happens when you roll alone or with a different group of people?
Tunnelfission
Bluelighter
Perhaps it's not the purest MDMA around and maybe with a bit to much speed or piperazines in them? pure molly never makes me happy go lucky float on a cloud to like doesn't work like a light switch i've done very odd regrettable things while rolling that feel not so virtuous.
I can't be violent in any circumstances though, no matter what someone out there always has the bigger stick, so why bother trying to control anything with rage? I just cut through my emotions with logic most of the time. Violence is only a notion when I feel my human security boundaries or the safety of my friends are being breached.
I can't be violent in any circumstances though, no matter what someone out there always has the bigger stick, so why bother trying to control anything with rage? I just cut through my emotions with logic most of the time. Violence is only a notion when I feel my human security boundaries or the safety of my friends are being breached.
I truly believe, and this is just from my experience, that weird and/or violent thoughts while and after rolling are a result of over use. For me, at least.
I think of it as this: What goes up, must come down. I think MDMA plays with our brain so much in the high zone, we get these grand highs, but then we get grander lows.
Food for thought. I am considering quitting for a long time.
I dont have any other issues and I never have. I am not on any other drugs. I really believe that this is MDMA related.
The only time I have a non weird MDMA trip these days is if I am REALLY distracted by stuff I love, esp. music setting and people. But even in GREAT situations, it is a crap shoot. Some rolls are the way they are supposed to feel, and some are becoming to get weird and almost violent. Violent things just flash in my head, its strange. When rolling, things just get strange. I can almost tell when it is happening to other rollers, too. They have a paranoid edge to them. Sure maybe it is slightly dirty MDMA but it also happens on clean stuff sometimes. I am afraid it IS MDMA related because of the grand highs Ive gotten on it, its like it does the opposite.
I am going to stop and go back to Shrooms only if I want a trippy buzz. At least with Shrooms, the high and low and weird all balance out naturally and I am left with a better truth than the creepy E.
Sorry to be a downer, but I am just feeling strongly about this right now after seeing my buddy all depressed ON E last weekend. HE was so trying to hide it, but I could see thru him. I want to talk to him about it but I dont want to be all Mom ish.
I think of it as this: What goes up, must come down. I think MDMA plays with our brain so much in the high zone, we get these grand highs, but then we get grander lows.
Food for thought. I am considering quitting for a long time.
I dont have any other issues and I never have. I am not on any other drugs. I really believe that this is MDMA related.
The only time I have a non weird MDMA trip these days is if I am REALLY distracted by stuff I love, esp. music setting and people. But even in GREAT situations, it is a crap shoot. Some rolls are the way they are supposed to feel, and some are becoming to get weird and almost violent. Violent things just flash in my head, its strange. When rolling, things just get strange. I can almost tell when it is happening to other rollers, too. They have a paranoid edge to them. Sure maybe it is slightly dirty MDMA but it also happens on clean stuff sometimes. I am afraid it IS MDMA related because of the grand highs Ive gotten on it, its like it does the opposite.
I am going to stop and go back to Shrooms only if I want a trippy buzz. At least with Shrooms, the high and low and weird all balance out naturally and I am left with a better truth than the creepy E.
Sorry to be a downer, but I am just feeling strongly about this right now after seeing my buddy all depressed ON E last weekend. HE was so trying to hide it, but I could see thru him. I want to talk to him about it but I dont want to be all Mom ish.
rolling alone fuckin sucks i hate that shit, leads to crack head tenancies like punching the wall until ur hands r dripping in blood.
Tunnelfission
Bluelighter
I thought earlier in the day that if I had to fight someone while on MDMA I would really have no quarrel with the thought, it's a potent amphetamine, not a "love drug".
It manipulates serotonin on a massive scale and serotonin regulates mood and well being. Having to much could lead these centers to be overwhelmed and therefore chaotic rather than just empathic and confident. I could see myself having a panic attack on MDMA if faced with a situation say regarding authority figured catching me red handed. It's not all double rainbows and sunshine, it's incredibly altered human neurochemistry, a being who is barely on the surface of discovering itself in general.
I personally can feel distraught and infinitely lonely while on MDMA, a sense of extreme longing with only but a clue of what I desire for that feeling of emptiness. I've also rarely rolled with a lover, which I feel might be the saving grace.
It manipulates serotonin on a massive scale and serotonin regulates mood and well being. Having to much could lead these centers to be overwhelmed and therefore chaotic rather than just empathic and confident. I could see myself having a panic attack on MDMA if faced with a situation say regarding authority figured catching me red handed. It's not all double rainbows and sunshine, it's incredibly altered human neurochemistry, a being who is barely on the surface of discovering itself in general.
I personally can feel distraught and infinitely lonely while on MDMA, a sense of extreme longing with only but a clue of what I desire for that feeling of emptiness. I've also rarely rolled with a lover, which I feel might be the saving grace.
great post.... makes a lot more sense now, what u said relates a lot to personal experiences
Bsiren
Bluelight Crew
I agree with Rebubla. I went through a "dark phase" with MDMA (after 6 months of using it too often). I find that the feeling of the "opposite of rolling" (anti-social, not wanting to be touched, uncaring, disinterested etc.) have happened to be when I've over used. My theory is perhaps when you have very little resources left (your receptors are fried, serotonin is low), your brain responds with a sort of "attack" mode to MDMA, and tries to fight the effects. <Not the most eloquent explanation, but basically, I think when you can't handle any more, your brain decides to have an opposing response.