MDMA then LSD - Experienced - So emotional
ok, this is hard to write because the whole thing was so bloody emotional for me, but i'll give it a try. I have to set the scene first. It was two days ago, I had just found out one of closest friends' dad had killed himself. I was a wreck, and shouldnt have taken drugs, but I did. I was also with a friend who I basically share everything with and she wanted to try cid for the first time.
9.30 pm: I was at my year 12 formal (a big deal) and decided to drop half a green CU (very nice pill) at 10.00 I felt a little tingly and generally pretty nice so I though I would drop the other half. Big mistake! I was rushing off my tits in front of all the teachers and hugging everybody (something I REALLY hate to do when on E) and basically made a fool of myself. Oh well, I will learn
12.00: Pill is basically wearing off, decide to take half a tab of acid (100mcrgs) with a my friend (ex-girlfriend...this information is important later on) So about 2 hours into it (after smoking some cones and feeling nice) I felt it start to come on. It was subtle, but I felt it kicking in. I continually checked up on my friend to see that she was alright, it was her first time on acid. I asked her if she was ready for it, and she said "yeah yeah, it will be sweet" but I knew it would fuck her up, but she insisted, so I said "ok, just know that if anything goes wrong, i'm here for you" so that was cool. She assured me she was cool, and we smoked a joint.
Things started to get a little funny, and then that uncontrollable laughing started, and we couldnt help ourselves. It was useless, we were laughing out tits off. It was quite funny, I was sitting on the couch with a mate and we were watching my friend trying to get her jumper off, and she just couldnt figure it out, it was a complete laugh...a foreign concept to her.
After about 2 hours of giggling, things started to get nasty, and I could see exactly what was going to happen. See, i'm used to acid now, and can generally deal with it, but my friend started flipping out, so I gave her my full attention which comforted her, but she still felt weird. She started getting "acid loops" and thought that what she was feeling was reality, and that she would be stuck there forever. She played these games to herself where she would ask other people if I was acting strange in order to "figure out" if it was only her that was fucked up.
Its hard to explain, but she basically thought she was stuck there forever, and forgot she took acid. I kept telling her "it will be over soon, its just the acid, you are cool, everyones here for you" and she replied saying "thankyou soo much, I really need you here right now more than anybody" This really shook me, and on top of this my other friends situation with her dad got to me. I couldnt stop thinking about it, and felt completely useless. It is a dreadful feeling, knowing how much pain your friend is going through, and being able to do anything about it.
All I can offer her is HUGE hugs and support.
I stayed close to my other friend (ex- g/f)the whole night. I saw my friends (who were also on acid) smoking cones and pissing themselves laughing, and I REALLY wanted to join them, but I had to stay close to this girl, otherwise she would freak out. I felt responsible for her, and also sorry for her, but she was ok. We held each other for about 4 hours, just cuddling and holding hands...everything seemed to make so much sense, yet it was strange as well.
I love her so much, but whenever we are together, it never seems to work. She said to me that what we have is completely unbreakable, and that we are soul mates, and I thought about this, and it did nothing but confuse the fuck out of me.
I was lying on the couch with her, and we both couldnt sleep at all. That insesent feeling of the acid never letting you go. It was relentless and quite disconcerting, because all I wanted to do was sleep, but it wouldnt let me. It was about 6.30am and my friend was having as much trouble sleeping as I was. We talked a little, but mainly looked at each other. We both needed each other there for comfort, and knew that we were sharing something profound, but i still found it uncomfortable. I have shared so much with this girl, but can never manage to find my place with her. Its all so difficult, and the acid intensified this by about 1000%.
By 7am, I decided I needed some sleep, so I took about 35ml of GHB, which completely knocked me out. I slept until 10.15am and woke to heaps of people laughing at me
I had snored something chronic apparently, and I felt dreadful. I opened my eyes and the world just kept on spinning. I quickly asked where my friend was, and I was told that she had gone to school, because of an exam.
This was a strange feeling, like I had lost her or something. It was irrational, but I needed to speak to her. I gave her a call, and she said "I kissed you goodbye, but you were sound asleep. Thankyou so much for last night, we shared something pretty amazing, and for that I thank you. I love you so much"
These words totally shook me. Acid gives me such horrible comedowns and everything I thought was completely irrational and depressing. I was basically left alone to deal with all this (my friends had things to do) and I couldnt cope. My friend (x-g/f) gave me this gift the night before. It was a sculpture or two people, it intertwined as one. She said it represented us, and that she never wants to lose me. When she gave it to me, I thought "wow, thats cool...thank" but the next morning, I looked at it and almost burst into tears, I just couldnt handle it.
I spoke to the other girl whos father had commited suicide and balled my fucken eyes out with her. Everything was so damn emotional, I couldnt handle it. I eventually got home and spoke to a close friend who went through something similar and it was comforting to speak to him and sort my head out.
It will be a while till I take acid again. I love it, and its so inciteful, but it is always so intense, and emotionally draining. Next time I do it, I want to make sure I am around people who can take it, and not flip out, because that makes it so much more difficult to handle.
Sorry for boring you, but I had to get it all off my chest. Thanks for reading
- horse
[title edited and spaces added -mash]
[ 23 August 2002: Message edited by: masheadatronic ]
ok, this is hard to write because the whole thing was so bloody emotional for me, but i'll give it a try. I have to set the scene first. It was two days ago, I had just found out one of closest friends' dad had killed himself. I was a wreck, and shouldnt have taken drugs, but I did. I was also with a friend who I basically share everything with and she wanted to try cid for the first time.
9.30 pm: I was at my year 12 formal (a big deal) and decided to drop half a green CU (very nice pill) at 10.00 I felt a little tingly and generally pretty nice so I though I would drop the other half. Big mistake! I was rushing off my tits in front of all the teachers and hugging everybody (something I REALLY hate to do when on E) and basically made a fool of myself. Oh well, I will learn
12.00: Pill is basically wearing off, decide to take half a tab of acid (100mcrgs) with a my friend (ex-girlfriend...this information is important later on) So about 2 hours into it (after smoking some cones and feeling nice) I felt it start to come on. It was subtle, but I felt it kicking in. I continually checked up on my friend to see that she was alright, it was her first time on acid. I asked her if she was ready for it, and she said "yeah yeah, it will be sweet" but I knew it would fuck her up, but she insisted, so I said "ok, just know that if anything goes wrong, i'm here for you" so that was cool. She assured me she was cool, and we smoked a joint.
Things started to get a little funny, and then that uncontrollable laughing started, and we couldnt help ourselves. It was useless, we were laughing out tits off. It was quite funny, I was sitting on the couch with a mate and we were watching my friend trying to get her jumper off, and she just couldnt figure it out, it was a complete laugh...a foreign concept to her.
After about 2 hours of giggling, things started to get nasty, and I could see exactly what was going to happen. See, i'm used to acid now, and can generally deal with it, but my friend started flipping out, so I gave her my full attention which comforted her, but she still felt weird. She started getting "acid loops" and thought that what she was feeling was reality, and that she would be stuck there forever. She played these games to herself where she would ask other people if I was acting strange in order to "figure out" if it was only her that was fucked up.
Its hard to explain, but she basically thought she was stuck there forever, and forgot she took acid. I kept telling her "it will be over soon, its just the acid, you are cool, everyones here for you" and she replied saying "thankyou soo much, I really need you here right now more than anybody" This really shook me, and on top of this my other friends situation with her dad got to me. I couldnt stop thinking about it, and felt completely useless. It is a dreadful feeling, knowing how much pain your friend is going through, and being able to do anything about it.
All I can offer her is HUGE hugs and support.
I stayed close to my other friend (ex- g/f)the whole night. I saw my friends (who were also on acid) smoking cones and pissing themselves laughing, and I REALLY wanted to join them, but I had to stay close to this girl, otherwise she would freak out. I felt responsible for her, and also sorry for her, but she was ok. We held each other for about 4 hours, just cuddling and holding hands...everything seemed to make so much sense, yet it was strange as well.
I love her so much, but whenever we are together, it never seems to work. She said to me that what we have is completely unbreakable, and that we are soul mates, and I thought about this, and it did nothing but confuse the fuck out of me.
I was lying on the couch with her, and we both couldnt sleep at all. That insesent feeling of the acid never letting you go. It was relentless and quite disconcerting, because all I wanted to do was sleep, but it wouldnt let me. It was about 6.30am and my friend was having as much trouble sleeping as I was. We talked a little, but mainly looked at each other. We both needed each other there for comfort, and knew that we were sharing something profound, but i still found it uncomfortable. I have shared so much with this girl, but can never manage to find my place with her. Its all so difficult, and the acid intensified this by about 1000%.
By 7am, I decided I needed some sleep, so I took about 35ml of GHB, which completely knocked me out. I slept until 10.15am and woke to heaps of people laughing at me
This was a strange feeling, like I had lost her or something. It was irrational, but I needed to speak to her. I gave her a call, and she said "I kissed you goodbye, but you were sound asleep. Thankyou so much for last night, we shared something pretty amazing, and for that I thank you. I love you so much"
These words totally shook me. Acid gives me such horrible comedowns and everything I thought was completely irrational and depressing. I was basically left alone to deal with all this (my friends had things to do) and I couldnt cope. My friend (x-g/f) gave me this gift the night before. It was a sculpture or two people, it intertwined as one. She said it represented us, and that she never wants to lose me. When she gave it to me, I thought "wow, thats cool...thank" but the next morning, I looked at it and almost burst into tears, I just couldnt handle it.
I spoke to the other girl whos father had commited suicide and balled my fucken eyes out with her. Everything was so damn emotional, I couldnt handle it. I eventually got home and spoke to a close friend who went through something similar and it was comforting to speak to him and sort my head out.
It will be a while till I take acid again. I love it, and its so inciteful, but it is always so intense, and emotionally draining. Next time I do it, I want to make sure I am around people who can take it, and not flip out, because that makes it so much more difficult to handle.
Sorry for boring you, but I had to get it all off my chest. Thanks for reading
- horse
[title edited and spaces added -mash]
[ 23 August 2002: Message edited by: masheadatronic ]
