This report was typed up for my by a close friend of mine with the purposes of having it submitted to the BL TR forum:
"Let me begin with my relevant histories.
I have been clinically diagnosed as depressed- with a few anxiety disorders- since 2004, and manic depressive since 2005. Accordingly, I have taken a selective serotonin and norepenephrine reuptake inhibitors. These have included: Lexapro, Prozac, Effexor/Effexor XR, Lamictal, and Wellbutrin. Up until I decided to stop using the medications in late December of 2007, I was taking 300mg of Effexor and Lamictal daily, and supposed to take 150mg of Wellbutrin and Trazodone. Obviously, this is a very heavy dosage, and, as I will expound upon later, possibly contributed to my reactions to mind-altering substances.
Prior to ingestion of the roll, the only drugs I had tried were LSD and Foxy. Both were taken between two and six weeks after I had stopped taking my medication, and resulted in no discernible effects; N, a good friend of mine, mutual acquaintances, and I have settled on the prior history of serotonin tampering as the culprit for the absence of trips from the two chemicals. N had taken both at the same dosage level, and actually tripped, which lends credence to our theory. I have been involved in the drug culture since mid-2005, becoming more heavily involved as time wore on. My friends have, in my presence, used a large variety of substances: marijuana, opiates, ecstasy, DXM, Foxy, cocaine, LSD, etc. I credit a large part of the “set” when taking the roll to them, as they advised me prior to and during the trip, and should thank them even in this report for helping mold the experience in the way it unfolded.
Consequently, this was my first “trip” proper. My intentions with mind altering substances, if not already obvious, are not simply to get high. Their use to me constitutes both a unique opportunity for consciousness expansion and a chance to better know my Self.
All available information suggested that the Red Buddhas purchased were pure MDMA, the ones that had been circulating around the California area. Following the suggestions of G, a friend who had rolled a few months before, and echoed by N, I decided to take it in a nature setting. I was going to my friend R's lake house that weekend, which provided the perfect opportunity to take it. I went with my other friend P on Saturday, and we enjoyed our day on the lake with R's family, as well as our mutual friends B and K.
Between 22:00 and 22:15, I swallowed the roll. It was not parachuted, just swallowed as-is. P called N to inform her that I had taken it, and to be prepared for future calls. P and I began to play pool, and at about 22:30, I felt the head change. My internal vision changed to what is best described as elliptical, and as the game progressed, it became more interesting. Upon the head change, I called N and she advised me on what would happen, what to expect, what to do, etc. We disconnected, and we finished our game.
Towards the end, the sound of the pool balls clacking became more substantial, and I noticed that I had started rolling my lips in and out of my mouth. I began a game with B, but by 22:45, we agreed that it had started kicking in, and that I would enjoy other things. I grabbed my Zune, and laid down on R's couch to listen to my music. When I closed my eyes, multi-colored fireworks shot off from nowhere and exploded to the beat of the song.
I called N, and expressed the universal love that seems to underlie any roll. She expressed profound joy for me, and suggested that I call our mutual friend N (who had actually given N her first roll). We spoke for a short amount of time, but he expressed similar sentiment. I commented on the calls and the visuals to P and R, held a conversation for a minute or two, then returned to my closed-eye state.
It was here that, in hindsight, the most intense visual-mental scenes began. When my eyes shut, an azure background expanded across the back of my eyelids, which faded into black at the edges. Then, from the left, the heads of important female peers began dancing across my vision in a line to the right. They bobbed back and forth while they advanced across my line of sight, with peacefully happy anime-like expressions on their face, singing along with the music. This continued for an unknown amount of time, and, at some point, two more lines began to advance, from top to bottom (the first) and vice versa (the second) in a similar fashion to the foreground head-line, in the manner that a filmstrip would when fed through a cinematic projector. As the filmstrip played, I “uncovered” several very personal revelations, mostly regarding the persons that the talking/bobbing heads represented. While the news would not necessarily be uplifting in any other situation, I reached an inner peace and understanding with it.
As the visuals faded out, P, K, and B decided to go out to the boat and seadoo dock to smoke cigarillos. I asked B for some gum to allay the jaw clenching. I went outside before them, and sat down on the concrete path leading down to the dock, feeling the grass and ground. When they had filed down, I followed, and was immediately intrigued by the swaying of the dock. When they lit up, the lighter's flame caught my attention and they let me play with it. I gave it to B, and went to the other end of the dock, and dipped my feet in the water, and swayed with the music inside my head and the water's motion while watching the clouds pass across the moon.
Laughter brought me back to the group, where B began flickering the lighter in front of my face. I wasn't afraid, though I knew I should take caution.. I suppose more of an inner laughter, like when a baby giggles uncontrollably. K exhaled, and the smoke writhed like calm snakes out into the air. I asked him to do it again, to which he bemusedly obliged. B took over, blowing smoke through the lighter flame. Needless to say, it was amazing. They suggested I try balancing myself between the seadoo slips, which I did enjoy, but shortly trotted with them back into the house.
When we got inside, I decided to try running my hand under water, as multiple sources suggested. It wasn't as enthralling for me as anyone said it would be, so I checked the mirror. My pupils were very dilated, which was an indicator that I actually was rolling instead of going through a placebo effect. The room across from the bathroom, when the door is closed, is pitch black, which I thought would be cool to help simulate floating in space. I went in, restarted my Zune, laid on the bed, and stared at the ceiling as I envisioned myself millions of miles away, in a black part of the cosmos. When I did, I saw a 360 degree panoramic of space around me, the spherical nature of what we live in, and, when I concentrated, myself dancing with the music. This continued for some time, until R- who went searching for me- turned on the light to the room.
I decided to join P, R, K, and B in the tv area, but soon began texting friends to see who was still awake. I ventured outside, feeling that the roll was on decline, and to again feel around. I texted several friends and told them of my love for them- all sincerely meant- and received only one response from NN (it was about 0230). Luckily, the response was positive and supportive. This helped nudge me into the last stage of the trip—the comprehension of the overwhelming beauty of Everything and the Universe. I texted NN back and forth until about 0330, all the while calmly looking upon the water and the moon and the clouds and the animals and nature itself. I reached utter peace with myself and my surroundings by this time, and concluded that even though the world-at-large is fucked up, my world is what I make it, and I had decided that mine was calm and peaceful. I went back inside, music still playing, and went to sleep at about 400.
The next morning, I had sporadic tactile spikes and jaw-clenching episodes, but I retained the peace and beauty that I came to realize hours before. This continued through the day, and even into the next week. There was no tweaking associated with the general comedown, even that morning. It was all calm and chill. There was a slight depression the Tuesday afterward, but it wasn't long-lasting. Even after it, the peace and beauty persisted.
All in all, the roll was the second-most beautiful experience in my life. Because of the lack of physical energy during the roll and the lack of tweaking and jitters on the comedown and the day after, we believe that it was relatively pure MDMA that I took. It was incredibly worth it, and showed me an entirely different side of myself. I realized the inner and outer beauties of everything, including me. I haven't totally come to terms with accepting some of the things that have happened in my life, or how I've handled it, but this was a remarkable and substantial step in the right direction, I feel."
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_MDMA
"Let me begin with my relevant histories.
I have been clinically diagnosed as depressed- with a few anxiety disorders- since 2004, and manic depressive since 2005. Accordingly, I have taken a selective serotonin and norepenephrine reuptake inhibitors. These have included: Lexapro, Prozac, Effexor/Effexor XR, Lamictal, and Wellbutrin. Up until I decided to stop using the medications in late December of 2007, I was taking 300mg of Effexor and Lamictal daily, and supposed to take 150mg of Wellbutrin and Trazodone. Obviously, this is a very heavy dosage, and, as I will expound upon later, possibly contributed to my reactions to mind-altering substances.
Prior to ingestion of the roll, the only drugs I had tried were LSD and Foxy. Both were taken between two and six weeks after I had stopped taking my medication, and resulted in no discernible effects; N, a good friend of mine, mutual acquaintances, and I have settled on the prior history of serotonin tampering as the culprit for the absence of trips from the two chemicals. N had taken both at the same dosage level, and actually tripped, which lends credence to our theory. I have been involved in the drug culture since mid-2005, becoming more heavily involved as time wore on. My friends have, in my presence, used a large variety of substances: marijuana, opiates, ecstasy, DXM, Foxy, cocaine, LSD, etc. I credit a large part of the “set” when taking the roll to them, as they advised me prior to and during the trip, and should thank them even in this report for helping mold the experience in the way it unfolded.
Consequently, this was my first “trip” proper. My intentions with mind altering substances, if not already obvious, are not simply to get high. Their use to me constitutes both a unique opportunity for consciousness expansion and a chance to better know my Self.
All available information suggested that the Red Buddhas purchased were pure MDMA, the ones that had been circulating around the California area. Following the suggestions of G, a friend who had rolled a few months before, and echoed by N, I decided to take it in a nature setting. I was going to my friend R's lake house that weekend, which provided the perfect opportunity to take it. I went with my other friend P on Saturday, and we enjoyed our day on the lake with R's family, as well as our mutual friends B and K.
Between 22:00 and 22:15, I swallowed the roll. It was not parachuted, just swallowed as-is. P called N to inform her that I had taken it, and to be prepared for future calls. P and I began to play pool, and at about 22:30, I felt the head change. My internal vision changed to what is best described as elliptical, and as the game progressed, it became more interesting. Upon the head change, I called N and she advised me on what would happen, what to expect, what to do, etc. We disconnected, and we finished our game.
Towards the end, the sound of the pool balls clacking became more substantial, and I noticed that I had started rolling my lips in and out of my mouth. I began a game with B, but by 22:45, we agreed that it had started kicking in, and that I would enjoy other things. I grabbed my Zune, and laid down on R's couch to listen to my music. When I closed my eyes, multi-colored fireworks shot off from nowhere and exploded to the beat of the song.
I called N, and expressed the universal love that seems to underlie any roll. She expressed profound joy for me, and suggested that I call our mutual friend N (who had actually given N her first roll). We spoke for a short amount of time, but he expressed similar sentiment. I commented on the calls and the visuals to P and R, held a conversation for a minute or two, then returned to my closed-eye state.
It was here that, in hindsight, the most intense visual-mental scenes began. When my eyes shut, an azure background expanded across the back of my eyelids, which faded into black at the edges. Then, from the left, the heads of important female peers began dancing across my vision in a line to the right. They bobbed back and forth while they advanced across my line of sight, with peacefully happy anime-like expressions on their face, singing along with the music. This continued for an unknown amount of time, and, at some point, two more lines began to advance, from top to bottom (the first) and vice versa (the second) in a similar fashion to the foreground head-line, in the manner that a filmstrip would when fed through a cinematic projector. As the filmstrip played, I “uncovered” several very personal revelations, mostly regarding the persons that the talking/bobbing heads represented. While the news would not necessarily be uplifting in any other situation, I reached an inner peace and understanding with it.
As the visuals faded out, P, K, and B decided to go out to the boat and seadoo dock to smoke cigarillos. I asked B for some gum to allay the jaw clenching. I went outside before them, and sat down on the concrete path leading down to the dock, feeling the grass and ground. When they had filed down, I followed, and was immediately intrigued by the swaying of the dock. When they lit up, the lighter's flame caught my attention and they let me play with it. I gave it to B, and went to the other end of the dock, and dipped my feet in the water, and swayed with the music inside my head and the water's motion while watching the clouds pass across the moon.
Laughter brought me back to the group, where B began flickering the lighter in front of my face. I wasn't afraid, though I knew I should take caution.. I suppose more of an inner laughter, like when a baby giggles uncontrollably. K exhaled, and the smoke writhed like calm snakes out into the air. I asked him to do it again, to which he bemusedly obliged. B took over, blowing smoke through the lighter flame. Needless to say, it was amazing. They suggested I try balancing myself between the seadoo slips, which I did enjoy, but shortly trotted with them back into the house.
When we got inside, I decided to try running my hand under water, as multiple sources suggested. It wasn't as enthralling for me as anyone said it would be, so I checked the mirror. My pupils were very dilated, which was an indicator that I actually was rolling instead of going through a placebo effect. The room across from the bathroom, when the door is closed, is pitch black, which I thought would be cool to help simulate floating in space. I went in, restarted my Zune, laid on the bed, and stared at the ceiling as I envisioned myself millions of miles away, in a black part of the cosmos. When I did, I saw a 360 degree panoramic of space around me, the spherical nature of what we live in, and, when I concentrated, myself dancing with the music. This continued for some time, until R- who went searching for me- turned on the light to the room.
I decided to join P, R, K, and B in the tv area, but soon began texting friends to see who was still awake. I ventured outside, feeling that the roll was on decline, and to again feel around. I texted several friends and told them of my love for them- all sincerely meant- and received only one response from NN (it was about 0230). Luckily, the response was positive and supportive. This helped nudge me into the last stage of the trip—the comprehension of the overwhelming beauty of Everything and the Universe. I texted NN back and forth until about 0330, all the while calmly looking upon the water and the moon and the clouds and the animals and nature itself. I reached utter peace with myself and my surroundings by this time, and concluded that even though the world-at-large is fucked up, my world is what I make it, and I had decided that mine was calm and peaceful. I went back inside, music still playing, and went to sleep at about 400.
The next morning, I had sporadic tactile spikes and jaw-clenching episodes, but I retained the peace and beauty that I came to realize hours before. This continued through the day, and even into the next week. There was no tweaking associated with the general comedown, even that morning. It was all calm and chill. There was a slight depression the Tuesday afterward, but it wasn't long-lasting. Even after it, the peace and beauty persisted.
All in all, the roll was the second-most beautiful experience in my life. Because of the lack of physical energy during the roll and the lack of tweaking and jitters on the comedown and the day after, we believe that it was relatively pure MDMA that I took. It was incredibly worth it, and showed me an entirely different side of myself. I realized the inner and outer beauties of everything, including me. I haven't totally come to terms with accepting some of the things that have happened in my life, or how I've handled it, but this was a remarkable and substantial step in the right direction, I feel."
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_MDMA
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