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(MDMA) First time

hiddeninja12

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Joined
Dec 9, 2010
Messages
9
Hey there,
this is my first post on this site; I've been reading a lot of other peoples stories and I thought my experience was worth sharing. I do have some questions at the end but I'm mainly writing to explain my first time. This was about 5 or 6 weeks ago, so some details are a bit shady, but I remember most quite clearly.

A little about me: I'm 17 (for another few weeks), in my first year of uni (I'm aware that I'm young) and have had my time drinking heavily, and started smoking weed daily about 3-4 months ago. I've never taken any other drugs than weed, but my list has always been shrooms and MDMA (shrooms are now off that list, but that's another topic). Oh, and I'm quite skinny - I weigh around 60-65kg.

Background: Both of my brothers study in Manchester (I'll call them N and M), and so after moving to the UK for uni, and living in my city for a few weeks, I decided to visit them (I visit them there quite frequently, once every 2 months or so). The weekend I decided on was the Halloween weekend - I think I left on the 28th and came back on the 1st or so... Anyway, M has tried quite a few different drugs and knew since a while that I was interested in trying MDMA. He already told me before I booked my train tickets that there's a big party on the 30th that he'll attend with all his friends, and that many drugs will be taken (he told me to make sure I'm ok with that). I was excited after I asked him if I could try some MDMA and he told me that I can!

The night: it started at around 10 or 11, when me, M and his friends met at M's girlfriends house. We were just relaxing, and soon after the dealer brought us a few grams of MDMA; I shared one gram with M, and 2 of his friends. I should note that most of his friends regularly take MDMA, some as often as once a week, but most about once a month. When we took it upstairs and M started preparing it, they were all amazed at how pure it looked (I couldn't tell as it was the first strong drug I had ever seen in person!). It was a white crystal, about the diameter of a pound coin. After crushing it, he split the gram into 14 pieces, put them in a baggie and we left. We went to a bar of sorts - it was a mansion that had been converted into a bar, with bouncers, a stage, big speakers etc. It also had a garden that I'll talk about in a bit. As soon as we entered, I saw that this wasn't my usual crowd and I felt a bit uncomfortable (there was a moshpit in the front, the music was loud and trashy and not to my liking). My brother got me a drink and soon after gave me my first bomb (remember, it was about 1/14th of a gram - about 70mg). I was really nervous at this point, and in my mind I started feeling different effects. But I asked M about it and he said that it was too soon to feel anything. He was right, just after he said that, I stopped feeling what I had felt.

Anyway, about 40 minutes passed before I could feel it at all. I started dancing a bit more than usual, and I felt a bit happier than before. I enjoyed it but I was a bit let down by how weak the feelings were. Another 15 minutes or so passed, and my dancing was out of control... Normally, I'm a bit shy about my dancing, but this time I found a nice area and danced my guts around (mainly just throwing my hands and body around). I remember thinking that the music was horrific, but I just seemed to love it nevertheless (dancing to it felt amazing). This only lasted about 5 minutes though, when I started feeling very hot, and a bit nauseous. I told M, and he took his friends and me and we went to the garden. It was cool (around 5-10 degrees celcius), and this REALLY felt good. I immediately felt much better, and the euphoria stayed. I felt that this was enough for one night, and was happy that I knew what MDMA was all about. Oh, I was wrong!

Another 45 minutes passed (mainly by me nonstop talking about what I'm feeling :D), and we decided it was time to go back inside. Everyone else took another bomb, but I wasn't feeling it. I thought I would feel bad again like I did after my first bomb. But my brother convinced me, and I took another one. It was then that he bought me a water, and I had heard before that while you shouldn't drink too little water, it's also dangerous to drink too much water. So I started sipping my water and waiting for the second bomb to hit. It was another 45 minutes or so, and it kicked in again. This time, though, it didn't come on slowly, I immediately started dancing my guts out! It was perfect. I felt so happy, and declared my love for my brother (how he's the best brother anyone could ever have, etc). I didn't stop there though, I also told most of his friends that I barely talked to that night, how I thought they were awesome! I didn't feel embarassed at all about this... It was then that I met one of the characters from Seven Days (a british TV show)! It felt trippy, and I kinda thought that I must be hallucinating! But we talked for quite a while and I was sure it was him. Anyway, after feeling a few strangers clothes for a bit, I went back to the dancefloor and raved for a few minutes before, sadly, the bar closed. I was still completely energetic, and from this point until the end of the night, I shook my hands and knees uncontrollably. Oh, I forgot to mention that my brother gave me gum at the start of the night; THANK GOD FOR THAT! It felt wonderful chewing it! :D

After leaving the bar, we smoked a few cigarettes on the walk home (it was about a 10 minute walk), and that too felt wonderful. Not only did the cigarettes feel amazing on my lips, but the smoke felt like an orgasm in my lungs! When we got home, M's friends key broke (he had keyed MCAT quite often, they thought it was due to that), and one of them had to climb in through a window on the second floor and open the door from the inside. This, again, felt really trippy and I felt like I was imagining it! Definitely increased the effects again. We went in, chilled for a bit before leaving to a house-party close by. Just to explain the timing, I had my first bomb at around 11:30, my second one at around 1. It was now around 3am and I was feeling f***ing wonderful. Truly euphoric. The house-party we went to seemed quite awkward for M and his friends, but I was having the time of my life talking to strangers, and dancing to quiet background music. It was then that I looked into the mirror and saw that my pupils were huge, almost entirely covering my iris! We stayed for about half an hour, and then once again went home. It was now about 4:30 when my brother started rolling joints. They decided to smoke weed in order to help us get tired. By this point, the others had calmed back down, but I was still euphoric and shaking like crazy! They passed the weed, and I smoked it simply because it felt so good. I didn't realize at the time how much we smoked, but M told me the next day that between the 4 of us, we finished half an ounce that night. It did hit, and the transition between the MDMA high and the weed high was one of the most amazing feelings I've ever had.

It started with the short-term memory loss, and then once I forced myself to stop shaking, I went into a weird state where I couldn't move at all, and it felt like I was in the ocean and the waves were sweeping me back and forth. It was intense but still nice. Soon after we went to bed and I slept almost immediately.

The next day: I felt really down the entire day, but I didn't know why. Apparently that always happens. I was still excited about the night before though, and started telling some of my friends how I had the best night of my life. And I stand by that, it was BY FAR the best night of my life.

Some questions:
1: This happened on the 30th october, and since it's my birthday over the holidays, I'm planning on celebrating it the first week back in January (mostly with alcohol but one MDMA night). This would have been a 2 month break. I heard that 1 month is enough to cool down your body again, but I'd just like to make sure?

2: I'm afraid that I won't get as good quality MDMA next time, and that it won't feel anywhere near as good. If I do manage to score some crystals, how can I make sure that it's pure? I really don't want to take any speed or meth...

3: In your opinion, will my second time be as good as this night was? Because it's been 5-6 weeks and I think about that night daily! I'm way more excited to have that again than I am for my 18th birthday, Xmas or NYE... I really hope it won't be a letdown!

I just saw how long this post is, but it just feels SO good to talk about that night. If you've read the whole thing, thank you so much!


EDIT: forgot to say that the effects seemed to go away about 5 times, and when I asked my brother with disappointment why it didn't last longer, he told me to wait. Always about 5-10 minutes later it kicked back in with full force. That was one of my favorite things about it, just as you think it's done, it comes right back! :)
 
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EDIT: forgot to say that the effects seemed to go away about 5 times, and when I asked my brother with disappointment why it didn't last longer, he told me to wait. Always about 5-10 minutes later it kicked back in with full force. That was one of my favorite things about it, just as you think it's done, it comes right back! :)

that only happens with really great mdma, if you're worried get your brother to get it as he knows his stuff:)
 
Some questions:
1: This happened on the 30th october, and since it's my birthday over the holidays, I'm planning on celebrating it the first week back in January (mostly with alcohol but one MDMA night). This would have been a 2 month break. I heard that 1 month is enough to cool down your body again, but I'd just like to make sure?
Two months is plenty of time in my experience.

2: I'm afraid that I won't get as good quality MDMA next time, and that it won't feel anywhere near as good. If I do manage to score some crystals, how can I make sure that it's pure? I really don't want to take any speed or meth...
You could buy a tester kit. But, that will only confirm the presence of MDMA, it will not determine the purity or possible cuts. As poefacedhoe suggested, why not get your brother to acquire it again? Preferably, you could get some from a batch he's already tried so he could tell you the quality.


3: In your opinion, will my second time be as good as this night was? Because it's been 5-6 weeks and I think about that night daily! I'm way more excited to have that again than I am for my 18th birthday, Xmas or NYE... I really hope it won't be a letdown!
I think it certainly can be. I know that a lot of people think the first time can never be matched, but I disagree with that view from my personal experience. For me, the second time I rolled was actually better than the first. In retrospect, because the first pill I took, while legit MDMA, wasn't very strong, but the second one I took was.

May I recommend starting with a more substantial dose? In my experience, taking a small dose, then another small dose a bit later as you did, is not as satisfying as dropping a "full" dose at once. It can almost feel like a different drug comparing one big dose to staggered small doses. I think you will be surprised how much better it is to drop ~100-130mg to begin with, then possibly snort~50mg 1-2 hours after (If needed, you may not want any more drugs if you take 130mg of pure MDMA, you will feel perfect).

I just saw how long this post is, but it just feels SO good to talk about that night. If you've read the whole thing, thank you so much!
I now how you feel, I couldn't shut up about ecstasy after the first time I took it. Remember to treat it with respect if you want it to stay magical.


EDIT: forgot to say that the effects seemed to go away about 5 times, and when I asked my brother with disappointment why it didn't last longer, he told me to wait. Always about 5-10 minutes later it kicked back in with full force. That was one of my favorite things about it, just as you think it's done, it comes right back! :)
I've been told that's why it's called rolling, you go up and down like a point on a wheel. Kinda stupid analogy IMO, but the ups and downs experienced after the peak do seem to be a common pattern with this drug. Interestingly, you also mentioned shrooms, and that is another drug I associate with alternating periods of relative sobriety then waves of intensity.

thanks for sharing, I found it fun to read.
 
Two months is plenty of time in my experience.

You could buy a tester kit. But, that will only confirm the presence of MDMA, it will not determine the purity or possible cuts. As poefacedhoe suggested, why not get your brother to acquire it again? Preferably, you could get some from a batch he's already tried so he could tell you the quality.

I think it certainly can be. I know that a lot of people think the first time can never be matched, but I disagree with that view from my personal experience. For me, the second time I rolled was actually better than the first. In retrospect, because the first pill I took, while legit MDMA, wasn't very strong, but the second one I took was.

May I recommend starting with a more substantial dose? In my experience, taking a small dose, then another small dose a bit later as you did, is not as satisfying as dropping a "full" dose at once. It can almost feel like a different drug comparing one big dose to staggered small doses. I think you will be surprised how much better it is to drop ~100-130mg to begin with, then possibly snort~50mg 1-2 hours after (If needed, you may not want any more drugs if you take 130mg of pure MDMA, you will feel perfect).

I now how you feel, I couldn't shut up about ecstasy after the first time I took it. Remember to treat it with respect if you want it to stay magical.

I've been told that's why it's called rolling, you go up and down like a point on a wheel. Kinda stupid analogy IMO, but the ups and downs experienced after the peak do seem to be a common pattern with this drug. Interestingly, you also mentioned shrooms, and that is another drug I associate with alternating periods of relative sobriety then waves of intensity.

thanks for sharing, I found it fun to read.

Well, no. My brother lives in another city and I just didn't think to ask him to arrange me some. I will ask him for it in the future though, REALLY want some of that same stuff!

And about the big dose at the start; I'm still thinking of doing it the same way I did at first. Reason being that I won't know how pure it is, so if I take it in doses, I could keep taking small bombs until I'm at a good high. (I'm really scared about having too much and the effects going against me!) I'll keep that in mind though, and will try it if I have any, where I know the exact strength of it (so that I know 2 won't be too much!)

And about treating it with respect, I'm trying hard. It is very difficult to resist though, it was just a perfect night! Tbh, weed and alcohol just seems a little boring now. Especially alcohol; doesn't seem like it's worth the side effects when I could just have some MDMA instead! I'm aiming not to go higher than about once every 2 months. Hopefully that'll keep it special...
 
You will lose that magic fast. I personally keep MDMA to less than 3 or 4 times a year.

Also:

I felt really down the entire day, but I didn't know why. Apparently that always happens.

Most important line in the entire post. Read it over, and over, and over, and thank me later. Eventually, you'll know exactly why it's getting you down. Secondly, just as the magic will fade more and more and more each time, those down feelings you speak of will get worse and worse, and stay around for longer and longer. MDMA is a drug to be treated with MUCH respect. A special treat you give yourself at a big special event, or special occasion, or simply in some kind of infrequent manner that prevents you from using it, looking for it, thinking about it, all the time. Trust me, I was there too after my first rolls. I couldn't believe how incredible life could be, and for a very long time after that, it was hard not to think about MDMA every day, and sometimes I still do.

Lastly, don't hold your expectations too high for your next roll, you WILL be disappointed.
 
Trust me, I was there too after my first rolls. I couldn't believe how incredible life could be, and for a very long time after that, it was hard not to think about MDMA every day, and sometimes I still do.

Just had to comment how accurate that is... I think about it daily, can't sleep at night thinking about that feeling! I hope I just didn't have enough time with it; I hope I will come back from those thoughts after my second time!

Lastly, don't hold your expectations too high for your next roll, you WILL be disappointed.

I'll try my best, it's tough though isn't it :(
 
Hehe, I feel you. We all do. With something that feels like that, how could you possibly not think about it constantly? The thing that I do is like I said, treat MDMA like a once-in-a-blue thing, only a couple times a year, only at special events, never within the same month, etc.. Even so, I still find myself, as funny as it sounds, repeating "Methylenedioxymethamphetamine! Methylenedioxymethamphetamine! Methylenedioxymethamphetamine!" in my head. Maybe because I researched the CRAP out of MDMA and still do, so I read that word a lot. Who knows, all I know is that MDMA is one of those blow-your-f*ckin-mind kind of things that your brain will not let you easily forget.

Moderation, moderation, moderation. :)

A piece of advice that I have though: Resist the urge to roll at home. While yes, if you roll with friends in your comfort zone, it's AWESOME, however, you know that "can't get it out of my head" thing you got going on there? Well, it will be like that every time you're home, and hanging out at home sober (or at least not rolling) will be depressing. You don't want that feeling for your own personal environment. Think about that place you were at where you rolled. How would you feel about partying there again sans-MDMA? Lame huh? Yeah you don't want to feel like that about your own home. I've made that mistake and trust me, anytime I'm hanging out here at home with friends, I always have those thoughts of "Well, I could be having THIS much more fun....".
 
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Hehe, I feel you. We all do. With something that feels like that, how could you possibly not think about it constantly? The thing that I do is like I said, treat MDMA like a once-in-a-blue thing, only a couple times a year, only at special events, never within the same month, etc.. Even so, I still find myself, as funny as it sounds, repeating "Methylenedioxymethamphetamine! Methylenedioxymethamphetamine! Methylenedioxymethamphetamine!" in my head. Maybe because I researched the CRAP out of MDMA and still do, so I read that word a lot. Who knows, all I know is that MDMA is one of those blow-your-f*ckin-mind kind of things that your brain will not let you easily forget.

105% ACK. Probably I´ve done this NOT in this way, but if I could turn back time, I would!!

A piece of advice that I have though: Resist the urge to roll at home. While yes, if you roll with friends in your comfort zone, it's AWESOME, however, you know that "can't get it out of my head" thing you got going on there? Well, it will be like that every time you're home, and hanging out at home sober (or at least not rolling) will be depressing. You don't want that feeling for your own personal environment. Think about that place you were at where you rolled. How would you feel about partying there again sans-MDMA? Lame huh? Yeah you don't want to feel like that about your own home. I've made that mistake and trust me, anytime I'm hanging out here at home with friends, I always have those thoughts of "Well, I could be having THIS much more fun....".

110% ACK: Same mistake here.




@hiddenninja: Read seattle´s statement twice, and then again ... There is much more truth inside his words than you´ll know!



Play Safe!
 
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I totally agree with that Seattle Strange is saying 100%. I have never abused MDMA and only roll a few times a year for special occasions/big events. I am so thankful that I never abused it because everytime I roll it is still amazing! When I took MDMA for the first time I could not stop thinking, reading, talking about it for ages. I must admit that even now with new years eve coming up (my last time was sept 4th) I am getting bufferflies just thinking about it. It kind of goes up and down for me, when I know that I am going to be rolling soon then I will think about it a lot, but wont think too much of it again until my next roll is coming up.

MDMA has helped me so much, it really helped me grow as a person. It is definetely my favourite and most impactful drug that I have ever taken (and I have taken quite a few) . So I say take Seattle Stranger's advice and treat it as a very special thing - and you will still be loving it for years to come. It was great reading your report, thanks for sharing! You will have to let us know how your second time goes, I say that it will be better than your first.

I agree with Stirfry as well. Take 100-130mg at your first drop, and then half that an hour or two later. I tend to get nervous on my comeup as well and I find that taking a smaller dose actually makes it worse. With the higher dose, once it hits you you will be without worry, I always ask myself what I was so nervous about when I do come up
 
it's called the honeymoon phase when you first do mdma for your first time and have nothing else on your mind for the next few months.

Everyone goes through it. During my honeymoon I used mdma over 50 times.
Got to a point where it was once/week.
Discovered raves and it got worse...
now i'm goign to keep my raving/rolling to every few months
 
just thought I'd post a little update.. just had it for the second time yesterday, but at my friends house rather than out.. it was good and I did experience euphoria for a bit, however overall it was a disappointment.. will post details if requested!
 
that only happens with really great mdma, if you're worried get your brother to get it as he knows his stuff:)

are you sure cuz i had some mdma that did that but everyone was saying it was shitty mdma and it had a lot of speed in it????
 
hiddeninja12...wow man great post. I just did mdma for the first time this past weekend and am so thankful for this thread I have gotten a lot of great information. Easily best night of my life at an awesome concert, I cannot get over how amazing it was. I would most definatly consider myself in the honeymoon phase. I had an awesome realization while on it, I never knew what I would classify myself as spiritually, and at one moment I just thought, "Wow I want love to be my religion." I feel as if its already sacred to me and I do not want to spoil it by doing it to much, although I really want to do it soon. Im going to the Caribbean for spring break a month from now and would like to do it with a friend of mine, he's never done it. I am getting some more of it tomorrow cause the friends I took it with are experienced and said it was the purest stuff theyve ever seen. Please post the details of your past experience hiddeninja12 I would really like to read that. Im sorry it was a disappointment to for you, I hope for the best for your future uses. Thanks again for the post
 
I'd love to tell you about my 2 experiences since the first time, since I made some pretty big mistakes that I don't hope for anyone else! do you have msn or something? alternatively I'll pm you
 
"just throwing my hands and body around"
thats dancing!!!!

sounds like a perfect first time. and no, you wont have another time with mdma that will be that great - at least i didnt have it and it is/was the same for many many others, too... and remember, if your next time is not as great, upping the dose / mixing with other stuff wont help it. 6 weeks may be a long enough time, but why not take a longer break?

as you wrote that was a +very_ special night, if you have this every 6 weeks, will it still be that special?
 
Yes, please do share! :D
I most definitely did not shut up about my first experience on MDMA after I did it and sadly abused the magic of it so now I only do it on special occasions with a minimum of 1 or 2 months in between and i'm doing it tomorrow night and it's been 3 months so I'm pretty excited!
 
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