PsychedelicPixie
Ex-Bluelighter
First of all, I want to thank you for taking an interest in my personal experience! You clicked on this thread to read about 'me' and that truly makes me feel really good inside. *imagines giving you a special big hug* 
did you feel that? I really hope so! :D
***forgive all my misspellings, I think I traumatized the poor spell checker because it was like "WTH!!!!!!" lmao****
December 31 started out like any ordinary day but ended in a completely unordinary way!
My plan was to bring in the New Year in a completely new and untraditional way so I made plans to go to my first big rave and I was also planning on dropping some MDMA for my very first time aswell!
Heres how it went.
December 31 9:00pm: Arrived at the rave and just walked around with my foster brother (T) checkin out the scene and listening to the really awsome trance hypnotic music!
10:00: 'T' decided to go get some alchohol for himself and I told him that I was just gonna walk around and meet people so we each went our own ways.
10:15: I met up with a group of REALLY cute guys and kicked back with a really nice guy (Jr). I was really looking forward to having him as my Trip Boyfriend because he rolled a lot. We walked around to look for some E and we met up with someone (We will call her 'mean asian girl') I bought 2 pills from her and Jr bought his pills and after he tested them he told me that they were very strong MDMA pills (Jackpot!!!!!!!) I went back to talk to the mean asian girl and asked for 4 more (I was stalking up because there is no MDMA where I live what so ever) The mean asian bitch never came back with the rest of my pills!!!! (now her name makes more sense
) I totally wasted like $80 and I was really bummed out but it really didn't matter that much because I had like $400 in fun monies and at least I had 2 good E's and I was SO looking forward to taking one that not much else mattered! (I've been wanting to drop for like 10 months!)
10:45: While walking to the dance floor I dry blinked and lost my contact!
luckily I don't really have that bad of eyesight or it would have been really unpleasant, it was a total bummer though but still didn't really matter, I was too concerned with finally dropping some E. We went on to the dance floor and both dropped our E's and decided to dance a little and watch some really cool glowsticking!
11:30: I started to feel REALLY different but couldn't really describe it and we started to get tired so we decided to get some water and sit by the other guys on the balcony. As soon as I sat down it kicked in! I felt a warm n squishy feeling all over my body and the music started to sound really different, The bass seemed to cling to the top of my skin and It would tickle me deep inside my tummy and I felt all kinds of butterflys just like I was falling in love or something.
11:45: I started to feel disassociated from myself and the only emotions that I was able to get in touch with were pleasant ones, like happiness, kindness, joy, and love. I couldn't communicate with other people without using these pleasant emotions. Everything else seemed like it was just 'turned off' and let me tell you, It seemed like the biggest relief off my shoulders, I felt so many burdens just melt away into nothingness and it totally felt like I could breathe a lot easier. It was the first time of my life that I have ever seen 'happiness' in it's most pure form. It was the most beautiful feeling of accomplishment ever! It was like I had been looking for something special for a long time and I finally found it. I was totally in a tunnel of trance.
11:59: I heard echoing numbers 5..5...5...4...4..4..4..3..3..3..3..2...2...2..2...1..1..1..1...111111!!! and It sounded like a choir of angels were singing those numbers and I started to fall out of the trance tunnel and noticed that I was snuggled in the arms of Jr and he was totally floored but he noticed that I was coming too and he told me that this was a really hardcore roll and he told me "Happy New Years" and that he loves me and those words sounded so magical and I felt them touch my heart and I told him that I loved him too and we french kissed and it was the most mouth watering delicious taste ever!
Jan 1st 12....something lol: Jr and I were just touching eachothers skin and it felt so soft and intriguing. I became upsesivly curious with touching different things because everything just felt so different. I was almost drooling with my mouth opened because everything looked like it was so perfect and people looked like they were perfect plastic models. The guys looked like Kens and the girls looked like Barbies and they were all perfect examples of a completely perfect human beings.
12...didn't care..lol: throughout the night these really nice Candy kids came to give me a really neat light show and message me and make me feel really good. I saw little cartoons inside the light shows and it was so amazing!!! I'm usually a really ticklish person pretty much anywhere on my body but under the influence of E my skin wasn't ticklish but the feeling of those people massaging me was so unbelievably stimulating that it put me into a trance hypnotic state, I just completely melted and felt...oh so wonderful! I can't really explain it. I felt a strong need to pay them back for making me feel so good, I wanted to give them everything I had! but I didn't know what to do but give them a hug and water but they deserved so much more! (What are you actually supposed to give them?)
2:00: All these new feelings were so alien and foreign to me that it started to actually become overwhelmingly pleasant and I wasn't used to so much great stimulation and I just felt like I needed some quiet to gather my thoughts about found out what exactly just happened to me. I looked at my phone and discovered that 'T' had called me 25 times and I just wanted to see him to hug him and show him that I was really sorry for not trying to find him and that I truly loved him with all of my heart. I finally got a hold of him and we decided to meet back at my foster parents house, He was completely sober but I was still buzzing and he gave a little light show and gave me lots of hugs and I called all of my old friends From LA and told them that I loved them and how wonder they all are. They were totally taken by surprise and probably creped out but luckily most of them were drunk so it didn't really matter. lol
At one point during the rave I met this really sweet and cute guy from SF while I was standing in line for water, He noticed that I was rolling because I accidently kept my pacifier in my mouth and I was chewin on it pretty profusely. He was really nice! He taught me a couple of Roll tricks and just made me feel really good inside, I'm really glad I met him!
This was the single most wonderful feeling of my life, it has changed me in so many ways! I'm so gonna be a raver forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's several days later and I feel like my life is more pure, I have a renewed innocence about a lot of things now. The world is brighter. and I even love this place in a new way!
Thank you Bluelight! I will have my blue light necklace around my neck forever!
I might not know any of you but I love the fact that we are all a part of something very special here at bluelight. I admire that you love a place that I love too and because of that, we are connected.
Your Bestest Bluelight sister, Pixie :D
did you feel that? I really hope so! :D ***forgive all my misspellings, I think I traumatized the poor spell checker because it was like "WTH!!!!!!" lmao****
December 31 started out like any ordinary day but ended in a completely unordinary way!
My plan was to bring in the New Year in a completely new and untraditional way so I made plans to go to my first big rave and I was also planning on dropping some MDMA for my very first time aswell!
Heres how it went.
December 31 9:00pm: Arrived at the rave and just walked around with my foster brother (T) checkin out the scene and listening to the really awsome trance hypnotic music!
10:00: 'T' decided to go get some alchohol for himself and I told him that I was just gonna walk around and meet people so we each went our own ways.
10:15: I met up with a group of REALLY cute guys and kicked back with a really nice guy (Jr). I was really looking forward to having him as my Trip Boyfriend because he rolled a lot. We walked around to look for some E and we met up with someone (We will call her 'mean asian girl') I bought 2 pills from her and Jr bought his pills and after he tested them he told me that they were very strong MDMA pills (Jackpot!!!!!!!) I went back to talk to the mean asian girl and asked for 4 more (I was stalking up because there is no MDMA where I live what so ever) The mean asian bitch never came back with the rest of my pills!!!! (now her name makes more sense
) I totally wasted like $80 and I was really bummed out but it really didn't matter that much because I had like $400 in fun monies and at least I had 2 good E's and I was SO looking forward to taking one that not much else mattered! (I've been wanting to drop for like 10 months!)10:45: While walking to the dance floor I dry blinked and lost my contact!
luckily I don't really have that bad of eyesight or it would have been really unpleasant, it was a total bummer though but still didn't really matter, I was too concerned with finally dropping some E. We went on to the dance floor and both dropped our E's and decided to dance a little and watch some really cool glowsticking!11:30: I started to feel REALLY different but couldn't really describe it and we started to get tired so we decided to get some water and sit by the other guys on the balcony. As soon as I sat down it kicked in! I felt a warm n squishy feeling all over my body and the music started to sound really different, The bass seemed to cling to the top of my skin and It would tickle me deep inside my tummy and I felt all kinds of butterflys just like I was falling in love or something.
11:45: I started to feel disassociated from myself and the only emotions that I was able to get in touch with were pleasant ones, like happiness, kindness, joy, and love. I couldn't communicate with other people without using these pleasant emotions. Everything else seemed like it was just 'turned off' and let me tell you, It seemed like the biggest relief off my shoulders, I felt so many burdens just melt away into nothingness and it totally felt like I could breathe a lot easier. It was the first time of my life that I have ever seen 'happiness' in it's most pure form. It was the most beautiful feeling of accomplishment ever! It was like I had been looking for something special for a long time and I finally found it. I was totally in a tunnel of trance.
11:59: I heard echoing numbers 5..5...5...4...4..4..4..3..3..3..3..2...2...2..2...1..1..1..1...111111!!! and It sounded like a choir of angels were singing those numbers and I started to fall out of the trance tunnel and noticed that I was snuggled in the arms of Jr and he was totally floored but he noticed that I was coming too and he told me that this was a really hardcore roll and he told me "Happy New Years" and that he loves me and those words sounded so magical and I felt them touch my heart and I told him that I loved him too and we french kissed and it was the most mouth watering delicious taste ever!
Jan 1st 12....something lol: Jr and I were just touching eachothers skin and it felt so soft and intriguing. I became upsesivly curious with touching different things because everything just felt so different. I was almost drooling with my mouth opened because everything looked like it was so perfect and people looked like they were perfect plastic models. The guys looked like Kens and the girls looked like Barbies and they were all perfect examples of a completely perfect human beings.
12...didn't care..lol: throughout the night these really nice Candy kids came to give me a really neat light show and message me and make me feel really good. I saw little cartoons inside the light shows and it was so amazing!!! I'm usually a really ticklish person pretty much anywhere on my body but under the influence of E my skin wasn't ticklish but the feeling of those people massaging me was so unbelievably stimulating that it put me into a trance hypnotic state, I just completely melted and felt...oh so wonderful! I can't really explain it. I felt a strong need to pay them back for making me feel so good, I wanted to give them everything I had! but I didn't know what to do but give them a hug and water but they deserved so much more! (What are you actually supposed to give them?)
2:00: All these new feelings were so alien and foreign to me that it started to actually become overwhelmingly pleasant and I wasn't used to so much great stimulation and I just felt like I needed some quiet to gather my thoughts about found out what exactly just happened to me. I looked at my phone and discovered that 'T' had called me 25 times and I just wanted to see him to hug him and show him that I was really sorry for not trying to find him and that I truly loved him with all of my heart. I finally got a hold of him and we decided to meet back at my foster parents house, He was completely sober but I was still buzzing and he gave a little light show and gave me lots of hugs and I called all of my old friends From LA and told them that I loved them and how wonder they all are. They were totally taken by surprise and probably creped out but luckily most of them were drunk so it didn't really matter. lol
At one point during the rave I met this really sweet and cute guy from SF while I was standing in line for water, He noticed that I was rolling because I accidently kept my pacifier in my mouth and I was chewin on it pretty profusely. He was really nice! He taught me a couple of Roll tricks and just made me feel really good inside, I'm really glad I met him!
This was the single most wonderful feeling of my life, it has changed me in so many ways! I'm so gonna be a raver forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's several days later and I feel like my life is more pure, I have a renewed innocence about a lot of things now. The world is brighter. and I even love this place in a new way!
Thank you Bluelight! I will have my blue light necklace around my neck forever!
I might not know any of you but I love the fact that we are all a part of something very special here at bluelight. I admire that you love a place that I love too and because of that, we are connected.
Your Bestest Bluelight sister, Pixie :D
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
