*FICTIONAL STORY*
MDMA holds a special place in my heart. Of all the myriad molecules I've ingested over the course of my adult life, it's MDMA that I've ingested the least. This is because my experiences are always so strong, and so powerful, that it leaves me affected for weeks, sometimes months afterward. It's the drug that caused me to create the most recent upheaval in my life... the one in which I realized I was powerful enough to take control and create my reality the way I want it, resulting in my return to college and marking a drastic career change in the process.
And last night, another revolution has come to completion. It was revealed to me that it was time to visit with MDMA again, and so I did...
At 3:30am a "green baseball cap" was ingested by chewing and swallowing. The taste is extremely bitter, of course, and much water is used to chase it all downward. When I ingest ecstasy I always prefer to take one large dose all at once, rather than taking a booster later on, but I've noticed that taking two pills at once can cause me to throw up. So, I waited 45 minutes and then swallowed the second pill without chewing, hoping this would prevent my stomach from being disturbed.
By the time I ate the second pill, the effects from the first were just about in full swing. I did some push ups, a little yoga, a little bouncing around and rolling around on the bed, and sure enough here came the waves!
I lit a candle, turned off the lights in my bedroom, and turned on some Aphex Twin. It felt very wonderful to run my fingers through my hair, and massage my scalp. I took off my shirt, and my socks, and just started hugging myself and massaging my skin all along my shoulders, arms, sides, and stomach, to stimulate the tactile sensations on my own since I had no one with me.
I love how at this point when my body is tingling all over, and it seems like all the little micro-hairs all over my skin are standing erect, is when breathing just becomes so deep and effortless. It always feels so glorious to breathe life this way. It also made me want to go smoke a cigarette, so I went outside to my back patio, and lit one up.
It was a bit chilly out, strangely enough. I mean, this is Central Florida in May. But it was so beautiful out, and the sky was clear. I don't know if this was exactly where the second pill hit me, but at this point I looked down and saw that my cigarette, the original one that I lit when I came outside, was still burning, and was still at its original length! I had been smoking out there for what seemed like 10 minutes already, and my cigarette was still its original length. I took a nice long puff, exhaled, and the cigarette was still the same length.
I was ecstatic! I said out loud, but to myself, "I have stopped time," and suddenly the sounds of the world all came to a silent halt. I took a few puffs from the cigarette, which still was not getting any shorter, and proceeded to flick the ashes from it to extinguish it. I had decided in that moment that oxygen was much better to breathe anyway (go figure).
At this point I got nauseous and threw up but I was able to hold it in my mouth until I got to the bushes. It was practically all water that I purged! I get the impression that I probably didn't need the second pill, but knowing that I just purged made me feel pretty happy, because it was my body's way of saying, "Okay we've reached maximum capacity of MDMA molecules, so we're going to eject the excess, okay Church?"
I walked to the pool and got on my hands and knees. Leaning over the water I dipped my head in, and wet all of my hair. I then sat back up again and let cool poolwater run down my head and onto my shoulders and back. It was so beautiful to just be timeless and feel like there are no concerns in the world. All of the actual "problems" in my life are so clear. Clear, because in this state there are no problems, so I can compare the two mindsets in a lucid manner in my mind.
I saw how just because I did successfully make a career change, and succcessfully graduate from college, and successfully get serious industry experience in the big leagues, doesn't mean I can just sit back and relax. I've become too complacent, once again. No problem, check. I can fix that. It feels like the messsage this time around is "I'm here to reclaim that which once belonged to Life." What I feel that to mean is that, either the world in general in past times, or my soul specifically in past lives, used to have a happier, more understanding, and less fearful world. But the specific information the MDMA was giving me was that it's not enough to know, as I do, that we have imagination, and that's how we create things is through imagination... rather, I was being told that I must understand we are imagination. That all there is is imagination. I understand that that is what I must incorporate into my perception of reality.
At this point, with the waves of ecstasy still washing over me, and climb up into the hammock I have by the pool. I find myself in a type of kneeling position on the hammock which just felt wonderful. Must be some kind of yogic posture I don't know about, but I make mental note of it. I think about my dog that is buried in the back yard a few meters away from me. Oh how I loved her, and how she kept me company when I was going through adolescence all those years ago. I love that dog, and I miss her.
I think about this girl I just met recently who really stirred something up in me, and about what it all means. I mean, why am I, at age 28, having intuitive feelings of Love toward a young woman who's barely 18. I keep trying to put her out of my head, and God knows I don't view her sexually... it really feels like she is this being that reflects every woman in the world all at once. I see her, in my mind's eye, reminding me of all the past loves I've had, and her face seems to remind me of each and every one of them. It's like she's shapeshifting in my mind, when I think about her. I wasn't able to put it this way until now, until after last night, but I can see it now, that's why I feel so strongly about having met her... it's very typical of my life thus far, that the first woman I feel something akin to "maybe she's my soul mate?" ends up being 18 years old...
Anyway, I feel drawn towards the sky, so I look up at the clear sky... to see a UFO floating there! I rub my eyes a bit, and take a deep breath, because I was little startled by it. Not scared, just startled. It was just sort of hovering there, but with my eyes in nystagmus, it was hard to get it to stay still. But it appeared to be breathing! Every few seconds, it would seem to shapeshift from something organic-looking into something machine-like. It was pretty far away, I thought, until I seemed to get a different perspective of it and I thought that it might actually be just a little tiny thing? And that it was maybe right over my property? I couldn't really tell, but I got the sense that it was looking at me, and that it knew I was looking right back at it.
I say out loud, without raising my voice, "I see you."
And suddenly it sort of banked left, rose up again, banked right, rose up again, and returned to its original position. This sort of drew a figure eight on its side, if you can imagine that. It seemed to cause some kind of a buzz in my ears when it made these movements, but I didn't get any clear message from it.
I asked it if it was a machine, or if it was a being, and it made more movements, gave me a buzzing in my ears, and went right back to where it was floating. I was transfixed by it, and stared at it for a very long time, and all it did was just zip around in its general location, then return to the same general spot. It was so EXTREMELY bright, and it seemed to be flaring, like it was on fire. It was bright, and it was intense. I even grabbed some binoculars to look at it up close, and when I did I just couldn't keep my hands steady. I gave up on the binoculars.
The sky around the UFO seemed to have morphed into some kind of tunnel, almost. It's hard to explain this part. It just sort of looked like I was staring into a tunnel, and at the very end of it was this bright light, that looked like the flame on the tip of a candle, but without the candle or the wick. I was able to shake my head and rub my eyes a bit, to snap out of that hallucination (or whatever it was, maybe just an optical illusion that the wispy, high-altitude clouds were creating), and the light would turn back into the dancing UFO that alternated its appearance from looking like an organic lifeform, a machine, close and small, far and huge, etc.
I got up and looked around in the other directions to see if there were anymore, but there were not. I thought maybe they had triangulated on me, or something, and in retrospect I'm glad it wasn't like that. If there were some kind of a formation of UFOs over my house it probably would have made me start thinking thoughts of conspiracies and new world orders and stuff.
It was just one. Staring at me from the east. At some point here, dawn started slowly brightening the sky, and as it did, the ufo seemed to be shrinking. As it shrunk I realized that there was a planet behind it! Wait, though, it couldn't have just been the planet all along... could it? Nah... It was WAY to bright, and it looked like it was on fire. But I had pretty bad nystagmus at the time... I don't know what to think anymore.
I have a strong feeling, even now, the day after, that I was visited last night. But I admit that the cynic in me is fighting that conclusion. It's just that, it was SO bright, and much bigger than a planet should look in the sky, at least I thought so. I went inside and looked in the mirror, and my pupils were still very dilated, so I cant just say that the light LOOKED bigger and brighter than it really was, or else its appearance wouldn't have changed at all.
Anyway, the experience was fantastic. And it all seemed to be very personalized. That's why I like taking ecstasy alone. It takes on new meaning doing it this way. It's one of the most psycho-therapeutic tools I've ever encountered. I pretty much went inside, listened to more Aphex Twin, and eventually fell asleep. There seemed to be little to no negative comedown effects from these pills. There was an average amount of jaw clenching and elevated pulse, but a few puffs of cannabis helped with that.
I'm aware that this doesn't sound like a typical ecstasy experience to most people here, but I assure you this sort of thing happens very intensely to me on it. It has always been held in my heart as being the most powerful molecule I've ever ingested, due to its ability to make things seem VERY real and always containing some kind of message that I've been following, and has been getting me places. Granted I don't know exactly what the contents of these pills were, but there was at least some MDMA in there. It could very well, in fact, probably did have something else in there too, like maybe some MDA, but I tell you, it wasn't like an MDA trip. It was like ecstasy in almost every way except I have to admit it kind of caused an ever-so-slight difficulty walking. Kinda of like a mild drunkenness, so maybe there was some MDEA in there? I don't know.
I thank God for allowing me to incarnate and experience the unraveling of the Universe from this little perspective of mine.
substancecode_MDMA
MDMA holds a special place in my heart. Of all the myriad molecules I've ingested over the course of my adult life, it's MDMA that I've ingested the least. This is because my experiences are always so strong, and so powerful, that it leaves me affected for weeks, sometimes months afterward. It's the drug that caused me to create the most recent upheaval in my life... the one in which I realized I was powerful enough to take control and create my reality the way I want it, resulting in my return to college and marking a drastic career change in the process.
And last night, another revolution has come to completion. It was revealed to me that it was time to visit with MDMA again, and so I did...
At 3:30am a "green baseball cap" was ingested by chewing and swallowing. The taste is extremely bitter, of course, and much water is used to chase it all downward. When I ingest ecstasy I always prefer to take one large dose all at once, rather than taking a booster later on, but I've noticed that taking two pills at once can cause me to throw up. So, I waited 45 minutes and then swallowed the second pill without chewing, hoping this would prevent my stomach from being disturbed.
By the time I ate the second pill, the effects from the first were just about in full swing. I did some push ups, a little yoga, a little bouncing around and rolling around on the bed, and sure enough here came the waves!
I lit a candle, turned off the lights in my bedroom, and turned on some Aphex Twin. It felt very wonderful to run my fingers through my hair, and massage my scalp. I took off my shirt, and my socks, and just started hugging myself and massaging my skin all along my shoulders, arms, sides, and stomach, to stimulate the tactile sensations on my own since I had no one with me.
I love how at this point when my body is tingling all over, and it seems like all the little micro-hairs all over my skin are standing erect, is when breathing just becomes so deep and effortless. It always feels so glorious to breathe life this way. It also made me want to go smoke a cigarette, so I went outside to my back patio, and lit one up.
It was a bit chilly out, strangely enough. I mean, this is Central Florida in May. But it was so beautiful out, and the sky was clear. I don't know if this was exactly where the second pill hit me, but at this point I looked down and saw that my cigarette, the original one that I lit when I came outside, was still burning, and was still at its original length! I had been smoking out there for what seemed like 10 minutes already, and my cigarette was still its original length. I took a nice long puff, exhaled, and the cigarette was still the same length.
I was ecstatic! I said out loud, but to myself, "I have stopped time," and suddenly the sounds of the world all came to a silent halt. I took a few puffs from the cigarette, which still was not getting any shorter, and proceeded to flick the ashes from it to extinguish it. I had decided in that moment that oxygen was much better to breathe anyway (go figure).
At this point I got nauseous and threw up but I was able to hold it in my mouth until I got to the bushes. It was practically all water that I purged! I get the impression that I probably didn't need the second pill, but knowing that I just purged made me feel pretty happy, because it was my body's way of saying, "Okay we've reached maximum capacity of MDMA molecules, so we're going to eject the excess, okay Church?"
I walked to the pool and got on my hands and knees. Leaning over the water I dipped my head in, and wet all of my hair. I then sat back up again and let cool poolwater run down my head and onto my shoulders and back. It was so beautiful to just be timeless and feel like there are no concerns in the world. All of the actual "problems" in my life are so clear. Clear, because in this state there are no problems, so I can compare the two mindsets in a lucid manner in my mind.
I saw how just because I did successfully make a career change, and succcessfully graduate from college, and successfully get serious industry experience in the big leagues, doesn't mean I can just sit back and relax. I've become too complacent, once again. No problem, check. I can fix that. It feels like the messsage this time around is "I'm here to reclaim that which once belonged to Life." What I feel that to mean is that, either the world in general in past times, or my soul specifically in past lives, used to have a happier, more understanding, and less fearful world. But the specific information the MDMA was giving me was that it's not enough to know, as I do, that we have imagination, and that's how we create things is through imagination... rather, I was being told that I must understand we are imagination. That all there is is imagination. I understand that that is what I must incorporate into my perception of reality.
At this point, with the waves of ecstasy still washing over me, and climb up into the hammock I have by the pool. I find myself in a type of kneeling position on the hammock which just felt wonderful. Must be some kind of yogic posture I don't know about, but I make mental note of it. I think about my dog that is buried in the back yard a few meters away from me. Oh how I loved her, and how she kept me company when I was going through adolescence all those years ago. I love that dog, and I miss her.
I think about this girl I just met recently who really stirred something up in me, and about what it all means. I mean, why am I, at age 28, having intuitive feelings of Love toward a young woman who's barely 18. I keep trying to put her out of my head, and God knows I don't view her sexually... it really feels like she is this being that reflects every woman in the world all at once. I see her, in my mind's eye, reminding me of all the past loves I've had, and her face seems to remind me of each and every one of them. It's like she's shapeshifting in my mind, when I think about her. I wasn't able to put it this way until now, until after last night, but I can see it now, that's why I feel so strongly about having met her... it's very typical of my life thus far, that the first woman I feel something akin to "maybe she's my soul mate?" ends up being 18 years old...
Anyway, I feel drawn towards the sky, so I look up at the clear sky... to see a UFO floating there! I rub my eyes a bit, and take a deep breath, because I was little startled by it. Not scared, just startled. It was just sort of hovering there, but with my eyes in nystagmus, it was hard to get it to stay still. But it appeared to be breathing! Every few seconds, it would seem to shapeshift from something organic-looking into something machine-like. It was pretty far away, I thought, until I seemed to get a different perspective of it and I thought that it might actually be just a little tiny thing? And that it was maybe right over my property? I couldn't really tell, but I got the sense that it was looking at me, and that it knew I was looking right back at it.
I say out loud, without raising my voice, "I see you."
And suddenly it sort of banked left, rose up again, banked right, rose up again, and returned to its original position. This sort of drew a figure eight on its side, if you can imagine that. It seemed to cause some kind of a buzz in my ears when it made these movements, but I didn't get any clear message from it.
I asked it if it was a machine, or if it was a being, and it made more movements, gave me a buzzing in my ears, and went right back to where it was floating. I was transfixed by it, and stared at it for a very long time, and all it did was just zip around in its general location, then return to the same general spot. It was so EXTREMELY bright, and it seemed to be flaring, like it was on fire. It was bright, and it was intense. I even grabbed some binoculars to look at it up close, and when I did I just couldn't keep my hands steady. I gave up on the binoculars.
The sky around the UFO seemed to have morphed into some kind of tunnel, almost. It's hard to explain this part. It just sort of looked like I was staring into a tunnel, and at the very end of it was this bright light, that looked like the flame on the tip of a candle, but without the candle or the wick. I was able to shake my head and rub my eyes a bit, to snap out of that hallucination (or whatever it was, maybe just an optical illusion that the wispy, high-altitude clouds were creating), and the light would turn back into the dancing UFO that alternated its appearance from looking like an organic lifeform, a machine, close and small, far and huge, etc.
I got up and looked around in the other directions to see if there were anymore, but there were not. I thought maybe they had triangulated on me, or something, and in retrospect I'm glad it wasn't like that. If there were some kind of a formation of UFOs over my house it probably would have made me start thinking thoughts of conspiracies and new world orders and stuff.
It was just one. Staring at me from the east. At some point here, dawn started slowly brightening the sky, and as it did, the ufo seemed to be shrinking. As it shrunk I realized that there was a planet behind it! Wait, though, it couldn't have just been the planet all along... could it? Nah... It was WAY to bright, and it looked like it was on fire. But I had pretty bad nystagmus at the time... I don't know what to think anymore.
I have a strong feeling, even now, the day after, that I was visited last night. But I admit that the cynic in me is fighting that conclusion. It's just that, it was SO bright, and much bigger than a planet should look in the sky, at least I thought so. I went inside and looked in the mirror, and my pupils were still very dilated, so I cant just say that the light LOOKED bigger and brighter than it really was, or else its appearance wouldn't have changed at all.
Anyway, the experience was fantastic. And it all seemed to be very personalized. That's why I like taking ecstasy alone. It takes on new meaning doing it this way. It's one of the most psycho-therapeutic tools I've ever encountered. I pretty much went inside, listened to more Aphex Twin, and eventually fell asleep. There seemed to be little to no negative comedown effects from these pills. There was an average amount of jaw clenching and elevated pulse, but a few puffs of cannabis helped with that.
I'm aware that this doesn't sound like a typical ecstasy experience to most people here, but I assure you this sort of thing happens very intensely to me on it. It has always been held in my heart as being the most powerful molecule I've ever ingested, due to its ability to make things seem VERY real and always containing some kind of message that I've been following, and has been getting me places. Granted I don't know exactly what the contents of these pills were, but there was at least some MDMA in there. It could very well, in fact, probably did have something else in there too, like maybe some MDA, but I tell you, it wasn't like an MDA trip. It was like ecstasy in almost every way except I have to admit it kind of caused an ever-so-slight difficulty walking. Kinda of like a mild drunkenness, so maybe there was some MDEA in there? I don't know.
I thank God for allowing me to incarnate and experience the unraveling of the Universe from this little perspective of mine.
substancecode_MDMA
Last edited by a moderator:
