Just wanted to post on here to see if anyone else has ever experienced this.
Summary: It seems like our brain has multiple levels of consciousness, some levels of which are not affected by Ecstasy. At some point in time, we "fuse" with one of those levels, usually the lower experiential level, but sometimes we fuse at a overseer level that does not feel the MDMA effects...
Details:
I've been rolling about once a week for the past 9 months. (Yes, I know it's a lot, but just want to set the groundwork so you know where I'm coming from.) Only twice I had a very interested dissociative experience where my body and part of my brain was definitely experiencing the effects of the Ecstasy, but I felt separated from it and felt like a neutral overseer, not feeling anything (or not much).
The first time, I was a little upset with my boyfriend, so I wasn't in the greatest mindset to drop, but we had been planning this trip to the nightclub for a few weeks, so we went anyway. So I was already feeling a little detached from myself, trying not to look mad, controlling my emotions. I had 4 very strong pills with me. One is usually enough with my tolerance to feel great.
I took the first pill, and I could tell my body was experiencing the effects: sweaty, slight jaw clenching, etc. And also I could tell that part of "me" was experiencing them too because I started dancing more vigorously and smiling. But the part of me that was consciously aware at the time felt nothing. It was like I was an outsider observing my body's behavior. I could communicate about this separation because I mentioned it to my boyfriend, but I couldn't do anything about it. And the strangest thing was that, unless I stopped myself, I kept acting as if I were under the full effects of the E!
I tried relaxing, resting, breathing, and numerous other techniques to try to fuse with my experiential consciousness, but I remained at this odd overseer level for a few hours.
Because of this, I started popping pills faster hoping that would help. After 3 pills in 3 hours, suddenly I felt this huge shift inside of me, almost as if my consciousness were being yanked from outside to down inside of me. Immediately I went from feeling almost nothing to feeling like I'd just taken too many pills. I was completely overwhelmed with happiness and pleasure. My smile got bigger, and I started dancing like a man possessed. This fusion lasted the rest of the night.
Something similar just happened last night but the other way around. I left the club and came home, and my boyfriend and I started cuddling. At first I felt incredible, but suddenly, I felt that shift again but in the other direction, and I lost the feeling, but I was still acting like I was feeling it. I was hugging and kissing and moaning in pleasure, but my consciousness was separate somehow. I tried to get back down to that level but never quite made it. If I concentrated I could get some of the feeling back but not the full level that my body was obviously experiencing.
So has anyone ever had this happen? Theories?
I'm pretty certain the pills were all pure MDxx. I've used the same ones before without having this effect, and I've reagent tested all of them. None of my friends taking the same pills reported anything like what I experienced.
Summary: It seems like our brain has multiple levels of consciousness, some levels of which are not affected by Ecstasy. At some point in time, we "fuse" with one of those levels, usually the lower experiential level, but sometimes we fuse at a overseer level that does not feel the MDMA effects...
Details:
I've been rolling about once a week for the past 9 months. (Yes, I know it's a lot, but just want to set the groundwork so you know where I'm coming from.) Only twice I had a very interested dissociative experience where my body and part of my brain was definitely experiencing the effects of the Ecstasy, but I felt separated from it and felt like a neutral overseer, not feeling anything (or not much).
The first time, I was a little upset with my boyfriend, so I wasn't in the greatest mindset to drop, but we had been planning this trip to the nightclub for a few weeks, so we went anyway. So I was already feeling a little detached from myself, trying not to look mad, controlling my emotions. I had 4 very strong pills with me. One is usually enough with my tolerance to feel great.
I took the first pill, and I could tell my body was experiencing the effects: sweaty, slight jaw clenching, etc. And also I could tell that part of "me" was experiencing them too because I started dancing more vigorously and smiling. But the part of me that was consciously aware at the time felt nothing. It was like I was an outsider observing my body's behavior. I could communicate about this separation because I mentioned it to my boyfriend, but I couldn't do anything about it. And the strangest thing was that, unless I stopped myself, I kept acting as if I were under the full effects of the E!
I tried relaxing, resting, breathing, and numerous other techniques to try to fuse with my experiential consciousness, but I remained at this odd overseer level for a few hours.
Because of this, I started popping pills faster hoping that would help. After 3 pills in 3 hours, suddenly I felt this huge shift inside of me, almost as if my consciousness were being yanked from outside to down inside of me. Immediately I went from feeling almost nothing to feeling like I'd just taken too many pills. I was completely overwhelmed with happiness and pleasure. My smile got bigger, and I started dancing like a man possessed. This fusion lasted the rest of the night.
Something similar just happened last night but the other way around. I left the club and came home, and my boyfriend and I started cuddling. At first I felt incredible, but suddenly, I felt that shift again but in the other direction, and I lost the feeling, but I was still acting like I was feeling it. I was hugging and kissing and moaning in pleasure, but my consciousness was separate somehow. I tried to get back down to that level but never quite made it. If I concentrated I could get some of the feeling back but not the full level that my body was obviously experiencing.
So has anyone ever had this happen? Theories?
I'm pretty certain the pills were all pure MDxx. I've used the same ones before without having this effect, and I've reagent tested all of them. None of my friends taking the same pills reported anything like what I experienced.
