alright. first of all i had some form of anxiety from a bad trip. u name it. all the symptoms of ptsd was present.
for 6 months i struggled with this life style of mood swings, depression, anti social behavior, no motivation what so ever.
i tried exercising, meditation, psychiatrists, sleeping and living well.
i told myself i was getting better every day but really i was probably just adapting to the condition i had.
a week ago i got some nice pills and pill reported them and they seemed decently clean they were suspected to contain MDMA and TMFPP( the drug that was previously responsible for my bad trip)
i took 1 pill felt a little sad but with alot of empthy.
the next day i CRYED, finally, i felt emotional for the first time in a long time. which felt amazing because for the last 6 months i was sad and couldnt cry, i was emotionally numb and frustrated.
i didnt think anything of it... but the next day noticed a feeling of relief. which lasted the whole day. i had a feeling of depression but didnt have any trace of anxiety throughout the entire day which felt very very strange to me since ive had to cope with it for such a long time. it felt like i didnt have to try to stay calm or any of that. i just felt like a normal depressed person. but mentally positive and relieved.
on the 2nd day. i had this uncomfortable feeling that i wouldnt consider a headache. but it definitely felt like blood was goin to the frontal lobe of my brain (slight pressure). which lasted all day. on top of this. the mental block i was experiencing for 6 months lifted and my memory was recovered. oh and my sex drive... its back!.
anyways its been a week so far... and i think its safe to say that my good trip cured my formal bad one. my confidence has returned and im back to who i use to be with a new mentality that was gained through my last 6 months of being in hell.
i hope this helps anyone and gives them hope that there is a way to get better from post trip anxiety. everybody is different i dont know if what i did will work for you, i consider myself lucky to be able to experienced what i believe to be a cure. 100%... i was skeptical at first that mdma was truly a cure for ptsd but from experiencing my situation first hand. i really hope that it becomes legal for psychiatry purposes in the near future. go MAPS =]
for 6 months i struggled with this life style of mood swings, depression, anti social behavior, no motivation what so ever.
i tried exercising, meditation, psychiatrists, sleeping and living well.
i told myself i was getting better every day but really i was probably just adapting to the condition i had.
a week ago i got some nice pills and pill reported them and they seemed decently clean they were suspected to contain MDMA and TMFPP( the drug that was previously responsible for my bad trip)
i took 1 pill felt a little sad but with alot of empthy.
the next day i CRYED, finally, i felt emotional for the first time in a long time. which felt amazing because for the last 6 months i was sad and couldnt cry, i was emotionally numb and frustrated.
i didnt think anything of it... but the next day noticed a feeling of relief. which lasted the whole day. i had a feeling of depression but didnt have any trace of anxiety throughout the entire day which felt very very strange to me since ive had to cope with it for such a long time. it felt like i didnt have to try to stay calm or any of that. i just felt like a normal depressed person. but mentally positive and relieved.
on the 2nd day. i had this uncomfortable feeling that i wouldnt consider a headache. but it definitely felt like blood was goin to the frontal lobe of my brain (slight pressure). which lasted all day. on top of this. the mental block i was experiencing for 6 months lifted and my memory was recovered. oh and my sex drive... its back!.
anyways its been a week so far... and i think its safe to say that my good trip cured my formal bad one. my confidence has returned and im back to who i use to be with a new mentality that was gained through my last 6 months of being in hell.
i hope this helps anyone and gives them hope that there is a way to get better from post trip anxiety. everybody is different i dont know if what i did will work for you, i consider myself lucky to be able to experienced what i believe to be a cure. 100%... i was skeptical at first that mdma was truly a cure for ptsd but from experiencing my situation first hand. i really hope that it becomes legal for psychiatry purposes in the near future. go MAPS =]
