Mental Health MDMA + Cannabis, worried about mental health

[mrmusicman]

Hi all,

I've been a little worried about my mental health after a particularly worrying drug experience, and if anyone has/knows anyone who has experience in this area, your advice would be very welcome.

So about 3 months ago I went to a rave and took 300mg of pure MDMA. After the party, we went back to my friends house and smoked quite a lot of cannabis. I know this does not sound like a lot, but I have always been very sensitive with drugs and this experience was nothing short of terrifying. The only way I can describe it is that I lost any grounding or foundation I had with the world: I saw the people around me and felt like I was an alien seeing humans for the first time, it was weird.

This is not the issue; I have had scary experiences with drugs before and I know that they pass. What worries me is that ever since this event, I have periodically been struck by enormous existential crises. I would be watching TV or something, and suddenly I think 'what are people?' and a flood of anxiety comes over me, leaving me not quite able to cope with what reality is. Like a small panic attack - this happens a couple of times a week or so. I'm worried that the drug experience may have triggered a serious mental illness in me, and that these 'crises' may be warning signs of an imminent psychotic episode.

I have had depression and still have anxiety, and one cousin in my family has Schizophrenia. I am also on 15mg of Mirtazapine for depression and was on the night in question.

Any feedback at all would be very welcome, even if just to say that I am over-reacting and this is nothing to worry about.

Thanks very much

 

[Moreaux]

Hi mrmusicman - I was hoping someone else would respond as I hve no first hand experience with MDMA, though I do have a lot of experience with other stuff including cannabis. 3 months seems like a long time to recover from one evening of use. It seems the usual recovery time that I see for an MDMA binge is usually about a week give or take. What is your other drug use like? Hve you been using marijuana frequently?

I would recommend not using any drugs aside from your prescriptions, and using those exactly as prescribed and see if you symptoms get better. If they don't get better, or seem to get worse I would see a professional to try to pinpoint what could be happening. Sorry I don't have any useful feedback - your situation is a little out of my scope of knowledge/experience. Good luck!

 

[mrmusicman]

Hey, thanks for the reply.

I think this is distinct from the normal MDMA comedown, which lasted about a week after this experience. Most of the time I feel completely normal, and then out of nowhere this sense of disconnect from reality takes over. It can also arise deliberately if I think about it, and try to focus on 'stranger' aspects of life.

I honestly think the issue hasn't arisen from the MDMA directly, but that this lowered my tolerance to cannabis and then I had waaay more than I should have done. I've smoked a fair bit over the years, and have been known to freak out/have panic attacks if I have too much. This isn't a debilitating thing, and if I had assurance that this is all that is going on then I could live my life perfectly happily - I'm just concerned that this may be a warning sign that I have triggered something more serious, and that I should perhaps be seeking help about that before anything develops.

Thanks

 

[herbavore]

I'm assuming that you have stopped all cannabis, right?

When people have lasting effects like this from drugs I always recommend two things:

1) make sure that you are leading the healthiest lifestyle you can--balanced diet, good sleep, minimal to no chemicals, and lots of exercise and exposure to nature.

2) to lessen the anxiety from those thoughts, use your rational mind to defuse the worry about them. After all, there is a certain wisdom in questioning reality and also in getting in touch with existential uncertainty. Tell yourself that these thoughts do not have to be troubling--they are just thoughts. All part of being human.

 

[mrmusicman]

Thanks I've always been quite existential in a healthy way, this is just a little different because I feel like I may be loosing touch with reality. (or at least loosing familiarity with it)

I have actually smoked a few times since then, but I'll try not to. I'm not at the moment because I have exams, but afterwards I know I have some friends who will expect me to get high with them. Its quite a bit part of our collective identity I guess.