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MDMA abuse & recovery .. help

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palars

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Joined
Jul 29, 2013
Messages
11
Hey,
First I am sorry my english isn't that good but I will try my best.
Ive been abusing mdma a lot ( 82% crystals not cutted with anything else ) , been taking around 300 mg every weekend for 6 months. I know I was retarded.
But ive stopped taking everything since 2.5 months now..
I still feel a little pain in my kidneys when I try to sleep on my back, but more importantly, I am still kinda depressed when i was the happiest man alive before.
I eat healthy and do exercise almost every days since those 3 months, Ive been thrue a really hard depression when I stopped with suicidal thoughts and its not here anymore but I am still depressed and I cant see any improvements...
Ive tried taking 5 HTP ( 50mg per day before sleep ) and feeling abit better but still depressed... Can't take more because I can't sleep then and I don't wanna take any in the day because it makes me really tired, and I already am because
Since those 6 + 2.5 months I ONLY SLEEP 6 HOURS per day and I can't stand it anymore, im always tired and depressed ... I can go to sleep but I ALWAYS wake up 6 hours later...

I need help, someome told me I should take melatonine and SJW (St John's Wort) but for how long? And I'm affraid of the sides effects, I was stupid to abuse that much I know it all I need is your help now, please I can't stand it anymore its been too long...
 
Hi Palars welcome to Bluelight.

Your english is good and very understandable, do you think you are happier at least a tiny bit more than when you quit 2.5 months ago?

1. Try sleeping on your side, I prefer to sleep on my side because its basically almost the recovery position.

2. Keep exercising and eating right, your body releases endorphins when you exercise also known as the "runners high" which should help as well as keep your body fit.

3. Instead of 5-htp try taking L-Tryptophan, yes it is one stage lower and your body does eventually convert it to 5-htp but its less of an assault on your blood brain barrier and its more of a gradual release into serotonin not a quick rush. I prefer taking L-Tryptophan because in my own experience its a gradual smile that builds my day.

4. Its good you sleep 6 hours a day, it is better than 5 hours a day, be thankful that you can at least get some rest at the end of the day which is very good.

5. If you take melatonin then you would be taking L-Tryptophan/5-htp which then converts to serotonin and then converting into melatonin, try and visit a nutritionist if you can to see if you can set up a stable diet regime, it could help you just that little bit extra.


Lastly, don't feel down. Smile. You have learnt from your mistakes (like we all have) and now you want to be onto the path to recovery.

Don't feel down that you spent so long consuming MDMA, think about it, you could have done it for years without noticing these effects (it happens a lot more than you think), so try and find the upside to things and keep a positive attitude; thats the best step to recovery and will keep you going the best, you have to try and enjoy life because you're still with us so why not try and make the best of it. :)


Never forget that you're never alone and there's always people that love you. <3
 
Thanks a lot for your answer

To be honest when stopped doing it, after an afterglow that lasted 1 week or abit more, I was really depressed, suicidal etc with paranoia, it went better but I don't feel like its making any improvements since that ( around 2 months )

1) I only sleep on my side anyway because my kidneys are hurting too much if I don't :/
2) I know, I am thanks!
3) Ok i can try that, but Ive been told that St John wort would be a better option ( Millepertuis ) ( http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/22829-help-with-ecstacyx-recovery/ )
4) Yea But I still feel tired probably because of it and I can't be happy like that :(
5) I will try melatonine too

I feel down but I force myself to smile etc because I know it comes from the damage MDMA has done to my brain and that I will feel better eventually, but what bothers me is that its so long .. already 3 months Ive kinda wasted my summer, I wanna be happy but I don't feel like I am :(
Thanks for your help & support <3
 
No worries Palars we're all in this together.

I'm not sure taking the St. Johns and the htp/trypt will be a good mix as in it may be too much and your body could become tolerant to it, but that's only my advice I say just take it easy for a bit unless someone else with a bit more experience can give their two cents I'd play it cool.

You're doing everything right to speed up the process; another absolutely vital thing if you seriously want to recover you have to not use any other drugs, no matter how small the amounts if you do drugs and drink heavily this will slow down your recovery big time.


A scientific study I read a few months ago also showed that smoking cigarettes kills brain cells, so if you want to really recover you've got a lot of choices and decisions to make, wish you all the best mate. <3
 
It's only been three months so hang in there and give it some more time. Keep doing what you been doing. Eating oily fish, getting some sun, and an hours strenuous exercise everyday really helped me, might help you sleep better too if you are really tuckered out.

The kidney thing is something you need to see a dr about ASAP, well I would.

All the best!
 
This is a little hypothetical but it may be worth considering nonetheless
I might guess that your receptors have been damaged and have desensitized - so the question is, how can we rebuild/resensitize the receptors?
Inositol may help sensitize the receptors (some people believe it to be very effective in treating depression) and also plenty of essential fats (omega 3 and omega 6 for instance) so eating lots of linseeds (i like to combine with raisins) may help rebuild the receptors and thus restore function.
 
Yea Ive been thinking that maybe my receptors have been damaged too much (in my first highs i could "feel" cells or dno what "moving" in my heads and I lost that feeling once, maybe its what people call "lost the magic" but the high were still good, maybe it has something to do with that ) and Ive been told that Inositol or Millepertuis (SJW) would help alot to recover from that ... If I don't feel better by the end of August I think I will go for them ..
 
Your case is beyond 5HTP SJW and DONT USE MELATONIN!!!

Go get professional help, that " kidney pain" could be your liver, explain your drug abuse and you will will get helped out fast, I was thrown in the hospital after eating too much MDA a while back after eating a few grams in a few weeks, fricking sting cheese.
 
EarthBounded said:
Your case is beyond 5HTP SJW and DONT USE MELATONIN!!!

Go get professional help, that " kidney pain" could be your liver, explain your drug abuse and you will will get helped out fast, I was thrown in the hospital after eating too much MDA a while back after eating a few grams in a few weeks, fricking sting cheese.
Click to expand...


Why no melatonin? It's not at all bad for you and has plenty of health benefits
 
Also since I am always tired probably because only sleeping 6 hours per night ... sometimes I am trying to sleep in the mid day, and sometimes i feel like my eyes are jiggling pretty fast when I close them ...
 
I also feel from time to time little "cold chills" going in my brain, not sure if thats related to 5htp, they aren't hard like a brain zap would be ( I guess ), just slow and not really intense but I don't think thats normal :/
The month after stopping mdma I had huge vertigos everytime standing up, I still have some from time to time but almost not
 
Can you elaborate on this kidney pain a bit more please? Is it an odd physical pain in the core of your being that you suspect was brought on by Mdma abuse?

I have a debilitating chronic pain condition that I suspect was brought on by my abuse of acid and ecstasy a few years ago - especially the fucking acid - so I am interested to hear a bit more about that.

I wouldn't put trust in more than healthy organic food, light physical exercise (if possible), and a cessation of the partier lifestyle - I don't buy that 5-htp stuff, seems like just another chemical to potentially cause further imbalances.
 
Well kidney pain was really hard to handle before but its getting better since I stopped mdma completly, I still have a pain everytime I try to lay on my back in bed (in the bottom of my back) which is I believe, kidneys. Or when I lay on my front too, so I have to sleep on the side :/, its not as much as before but still and its been almost 3 months since my last use.
 
Back when I was in the early stages of my recovery, melatonin would initiate sleep paralysis every time. It was so frightening, that I really didn't look forward to sleep at night, but I couldn't get any shuteye without it. My brain would just totally fuck up on the transition from the dream state to waking life, in really mysterious and painful ways. I'm using melatonin now, and that no longer occurs but it was definitely messed up when I had lower serotonin levels.
 
My kidneys are hurting so much when I wake up, Maybe thats what causes me to only sleep 6 hours :(
 
actually I think its just my eyelids fluttering and not my eyes jiggling .. which is probably the sign of an extreme fatigue probably because I only sleep 6 hours per night since months ...
 
Palars mates have you visited a doctor about this? I don't think anxiety and stressing about this helps, what's done is done and you're alive, the best steps forward now is to not regret your actions but learn from them in a constructive manner in how you can better your life and those around you.

Be proactive, grab life by the hips and thrust it with all your might in a furious, aggressive, passionate, fiery, sweaty, lip-bitingly wonderful way and do the best you can!
 
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