Dose: 2 ½ pills over the night
Background: I have been doing MDMA for 10 years. The first two years were every weekend and then it went to once or twice every one to two years. I experimented in college with all sorts of drugs but have done nothing in 7 years (not even alcohol). I exercise, eat extremely healthy, and started meditating and practicing yoga as I am on a spiritual journey.
My husband and I had planned the night for a couple months. We knew exactly what day we were going to do it. Anytime we use this substance at home we always spend the day cleaning the house and getting everything perfect for the night. When we are at home we typically dance, listen to music, and watch light shows on the wall. We always end up talking a lot and then settle down and watch a movie (comedy) and fall asleep. This night was different.
We took our first pill around 7:45pm. Around 8:45 I was starting to get annoyed as I wasn?€™t feeling anything. I don?€™t typically analyze the come up but for some strange reason I was getting very agitated. I mean I sort of felt something was there but it was extremely light. We decided to take another pill around this time. We waited a little bit and then went outside and built a fire.
Around 9:00pm we finally started to feel it. It was amazing as usually. We talked, walked around the backyard, looked up at the stars and just became absorbed with nature. We went back to the fire and started to have a really deep conversation about spirituality. We talked about consciousness and read quotes from a spiritual inspirational book that I have. We analyzed these quotes spiritually. It felt as though I understood spirituality and consciousness like never before. It was like I was opening up a part of my brain that was waiting to be opened. It was magical. We also talked about how hard it is to let go of our clubbing days but it felt right. We haven?€™t been to a club in a couple of years and for me it is very hard for me to ?€œgrow up.?€ I wanted to hang on to my youth experiences forever. But everybody has to grow up at some point and we talked about it for a bit. We decided around 11pm to take another half and then watch something on Netflix. We chose to watch a documentary about Buddhism. While watching, everything just made so much sense. It was amazingly peaceful and the story had so much magic to it. I felt every emotion that you could think of as I was watching this.
I looked over when the documentary was finished and my husband was asleep. I decided to watch a little bit of TV and fell asleep. All I could dream (or think ?€“ not sure if I was awake or asleep) about was consciousness, spirituality, and Buddhism. Now ?€“ what goes up, must come down.
The next day was awful as usual. After the first year of abuse our comedowns just became unbearable. That is why we have 1-2 year breaks and even now the comedowns aren?€™t any better. However, I know and understand so much more about the human mind than ever before so I was able to handle the next day better than ever. My mind was racing and wanting to go, go, go but my body was telling me to stay home, relax, watch tv, and rest. This is what I did.
That night (day after) we analyzed our experience. I definitely feel as though I gained something from this experience. I opened up a piece of my brain that has never been touched before. However, it still felt a bit fake. The thing that I have realized is that it will never be the same as it was in the beginning. The magic was there but the understanding that those feelings were induced by a chemical reaction is why it feels so fake to me. I am a very happy person naturally. I live my life based on love and I appreciate these experiences. I would have rather opened up that part of my brain naturally however, I am thankful that it happened the way it did.
Not sure how it?€™s going to happen next time but the deepness of an experience like this is a lot to comprehend and handle. I almost feel like I?€™d rather be out and about, having fun and dancing with lots of people and use it as a release rather than enlightenment. I want my spirituality to come from within naturally and not happen because of the use of a synthetic chemical.
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_veryexperienced
exptype_positive
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
Background: I have been doing MDMA for 10 years. The first two years were every weekend and then it went to once or twice every one to two years. I experimented in college with all sorts of drugs but have done nothing in 7 years (not even alcohol). I exercise, eat extremely healthy, and started meditating and practicing yoga as I am on a spiritual journey.
My husband and I had planned the night for a couple months. We knew exactly what day we were going to do it. Anytime we use this substance at home we always spend the day cleaning the house and getting everything perfect for the night. When we are at home we typically dance, listen to music, and watch light shows on the wall. We always end up talking a lot and then settle down and watch a movie (comedy) and fall asleep. This night was different.
We took our first pill around 7:45pm. Around 8:45 I was starting to get annoyed as I wasn?€™t feeling anything. I don?€™t typically analyze the come up but for some strange reason I was getting very agitated. I mean I sort of felt something was there but it was extremely light. We decided to take another pill around this time. We waited a little bit and then went outside and built a fire.
Around 9:00pm we finally started to feel it. It was amazing as usually. We talked, walked around the backyard, looked up at the stars and just became absorbed with nature. We went back to the fire and started to have a really deep conversation about spirituality. We talked about consciousness and read quotes from a spiritual inspirational book that I have. We analyzed these quotes spiritually. It felt as though I understood spirituality and consciousness like never before. It was like I was opening up a part of my brain that was waiting to be opened. It was magical. We also talked about how hard it is to let go of our clubbing days but it felt right. We haven?€™t been to a club in a couple of years and for me it is very hard for me to ?€œgrow up.?€ I wanted to hang on to my youth experiences forever. But everybody has to grow up at some point and we talked about it for a bit. We decided around 11pm to take another half and then watch something on Netflix. We chose to watch a documentary about Buddhism. While watching, everything just made so much sense. It was amazingly peaceful and the story had so much magic to it. I felt every emotion that you could think of as I was watching this.
I looked over when the documentary was finished and my husband was asleep. I decided to watch a little bit of TV and fell asleep. All I could dream (or think ?€“ not sure if I was awake or asleep) about was consciousness, spirituality, and Buddhism. Now ?€“ what goes up, must come down.
The next day was awful as usual. After the first year of abuse our comedowns just became unbearable. That is why we have 1-2 year breaks and even now the comedowns aren?€™t any better. However, I know and understand so much more about the human mind than ever before so I was able to handle the next day better than ever. My mind was racing and wanting to go, go, go but my body was telling me to stay home, relax, watch tv, and rest. This is what I did.
That night (day after) we analyzed our experience. I definitely feel as though I gained something from this experience. I opened up a piece of my brain that has never been touched before. However, it still felt a bit fake. The thing that I have realized is that it will never be the same as it was in the beginning. The magic was there but the understanding that those feelings were induced by a chemical reaction is why it feels so fake to me. I am a very happy person naturally. I live my life based on love and I appreciate these experiences. I would have rather opened up that part of my brain naturally however, I am thankful that it happened the way it did.
Not sure how it?€™s going to happen next time but the deepness of an experience like this is a lot to comprehend and handle. I almost feel like I?€™d rather be out and about, having fun and dancing with lots of people and use it as a release rather than enlightenment. I want my spirituality to come from within naturally and not happen because of the use of a synthetic chemical.
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_veryexperienced
exptype_positive
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
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