Manne
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2005
- Messages
- 98
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A little intro for all of you that like them.
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So, I decided to walk to my friend's house, C we'll call her, and just chill there. I had no intentions or aspirations of tripping this Saturday. I start walking at about 11 PM and get to her house around 12:15 AM (it was about 4.5 miles to be fair.) I get there, and call her cell, and she tells me she's not home; asks what I was doing there. "Thought I'd surprise ya," I said. She asks, "... how much money do you have on you?" I kinda count in my head : "$36." She says, "Would you like to buy a bean (E/X/MDMA for all of you that haven't figured it out)?" I said sure, definitely excited at this thought! I had never done X before, and I seriously wanted to try a different drug at this point. She muffles the phone, talking to someone else, you could hear the tone of the guy was kinda annoyed or even questioning as well. She says "It's about $15 for one, about $30 for two." I knew it'd be steep. I agreed anyway.
She said she'd pick me up a little ways away from her house, and to wait. Three people pull up to me in a car, and I get in. C introduces me two other guys, K and E. It's funny how their initials are all drugs. We talk, and C and the other two get into a heated discussion of where they were dropping C and I off. I decided to just take this trip aone, since I didn't wanna have my brother (anti-drug fanatic; yet he drinks) babysitting two rollers. They drop me off reluctantly off at my house, giving me the pill, and me giving them $15 for it, and an additional $5 for the ride home. They tell me how to parachute and recommend it.
I get home and my brother is awaiting me, knowing I'd be out, but not expecting me til earlier. Wanting to dose immediately, I get 1 or 2 squares of toilet paper, bring them and the pill to my kitchen table and prep a cup of iced tea. I walk into the other living room to put on an anime -- Tenchi Muyo (I know it's stupid, but my bro wanted me to watch it.) I hear him rustling around in the kitchen. "Oh shit" I think, I have to get to that pill before him. I walk briskly in, and cup my hand over the pill on the table, just leaning on the table, looking as nonchalant an inconspicuous as possible. It worked, and I put it back into my pocket. He goes back off into his room, and I go into the bathroom for more toilet paper, also to grind it up in safety. I grind it, and wrap it in fuckin' 5 squares of toilet paper, double wrapped the pill, and knotted it. I hold onto and make my way into the kitchen againn for the tea. My bro now for some reason wants to watch the damn anime with me. I placate him for 30 minutes, and he nods off at about 1:25 AM, then I make him go to bed. And he's 18, I can't deal with that shit.
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Finally
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Setting: my house, mainly living room, house temp 74 degrees F.
Time: Dose at 1:30 AM
The pill: Red scorpion -- Tampa, FL. Roughly 1/4 inch long, 1 cm wide
I wet the rather intimidating wad of toilet paper and X with iced tea for flavor, put it in my mouth, and swallow gulps of more tea. It goes down easily. I try to connect to the internet, doesn't work, so I put on American Beauty. Totally awesome movie if you haven't seen it. I sit for about 25 minutes, and C calls me up, asking if I feel anything. I say I don't, and she says she'll call me in about 30 more minutes. I sit watching, and the net finally works again, so I browse Bluelight and other things. I check through myspace and see I've gotten death threats from someone I pissed off. I'll tell you how and why if you ask, but not now. This is one of the main reasons I wanted to trip that night, so I could get over all of this shit in my life at the moment.
It's about an hour, and I'm not feeling anything. Perhaps a giddiness, but that could be a placebo or just me talking to someone cool on AIM. I get another call from C, she's feeling it. I'm not. She hands the phone to the K, and he gives me some tips -- tells me to spin around, turn off all the lights, put on some tunes (techno), and fuck around with my head. I did. I spun all I could spin. I listened to all the crappy techno I could listen to, I screwed my head out of place. Didn't feel anything. And I was totally doubting the trip at this point. It was about 2 and a half hours in, and I was tired. I didn't need to deal with this, I could sleep. I get on BL, talk around, and they just say to talk to people online, chill to some music that I like, and don't even think about it. In about 30 minutes of listening to Pink Floyd, The Shins, The Postal Service, Massive Attack, and Simon and Garfunkel, I had finally felt some of the euphoria they describe. but I knew the main reason I didn't feel anything all that much : how much tissue paper I used in parachuting. I pretty much just slowed down what the regular speed of the full pill might be. So all I had was a more energetic pot high.
So, I get onto my deviantart, and get some comments, and make some comments and critiques on other's work, and this one guys seems really cool, so I IM him out of the blue. He's in Hawaii, so he's actually up. It's about 4:30 now, and hes totally cool. We talk about all this random shit. Religion, drugs, poetry, his band, love, etc. All the time, I'm hitting home with all of my insights, and I'm realizing all of this stuff now. And "Mine's a High Horse" - The Shins comes on, and it's the most amazing song at the moment, though I never really liked it up to this point. Everything seems right with the world. This is the most informative and helpful conversation of my entire life.
I make my way apologizing to people that I have wronged, and set everything right in these wee hours of the night, though just really sending emails to people, never talking to them in person.
At about 7:10 Am, I realize I should get to bed, so I abandon the computer and get into bed, putting on The Dresden Dolls. "Kissed Me" is just an amazing song at this moment. The covers feel great. I thought I was over the trip and at baseline now, so I close my eyes. I lay there for 20 minutes. I know there's no way I'll get to sleep. And my parents are coming home within 20 minutes. And my pupils are fucking huge.
I do all of the chores I left unfinished : dishes, putting the dog out, feeding him, giving him water. I get a shower, making sure to style my hair just right to where they'd cover my eyes. About 5 minutes before they come in, I make some Pop Tart knockoffs which taste orgasmic, and watch the rest of American Beauty. It's an amazing movie. I'm laughing my ass off. I hear the front door open, my parents come in, and I say to them without looking away from the tv "Mooooorning." It's dark in our house, so as long as I don't look them in the eyes, I'm good. I sit there for about a half hour, and come into the kitchen where they are, and sit at the table with them talking. I don't know why I did it. I must've been really confident or really smart not to draw their attention by avoiding them. All the same, I talked to them and I guess they thought I was a lil loopy, 'cause they asked me whether or not I had gone to sleep. I hadn't, so I told them the truth, and they were okay with it because I did all my shit and some. They want me to get some sleep, and I pass out on their bed within minutes. I wake up 2 hours later, my pupils still relatively large.
I run into my room and go back to sleep. I sleep for about 6 hours. I'm still tired as all hell. I didn't "trip balls,' but it was sooooo fucking worth it.
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Now it's about 2 days after and I feel like shit. Nothing is as good as I thought it was, but I'm holdinng true to what I learned from the trip. I forgot to mention that I've battled with depression for about 3 years. Now I'm running on no sleep cause by my dislike for music after how great it was during the trip, and I'm in a fight with people that I absolutely love.
Here's what one of them said yesterday after I told them I rolled :
"whatever J. you are self pitying yourself. you turn to drugs all because you self pity yourself. you need grow up and face the world. yeah its harsh but you know what its better than a fake reality that you get from your drugs. your stuck with who you are for the rest of your life. and you've got to learn to like yourself. J your a wonderful person full of life and potential. Stop ruining the potential with drugs."
I feel like I'm going to or should die.
A little intro for all of you that like them.
-------------------------------------------------
So, I decided to walk to my friend's house, C we'll call her, and just chill there. I had no intentions or aspirations of tripping this Saturday. I start walking at about 11 PM and get to her house around 12:15 AM (it was about 4.5 miles to be fair.) I get there, and call her cell, and she tells me she's not home; asks what I was doing there. "Thought I'd surprise ya," I said. She asks, "... how much money do you have on you?" I kinda count in my head : "$36." She says, "Would you like to buy a bean (E/X/MDMA for all of you that haven't figured it out)?" I said sure, definitely excited at this thought! I had never done X before, and I seriously wanted to try a different drug at this point. She muffles the phone, talking to someone else, you could hear the tone of the guy was kinda annoyed or even questioning as well. She says "It's about $15 for one, about $30 for two." I knew it'd be steep. I agreed anyway.
She said she'd pick me up a little ways away from her house, and to wait. Three people pull up to me in a car, and I get in. C introduces me two other guys, K and E. It's funny how their initials are all drugs. We talk, and C and the other two get into a heated discussion of where they were dropping C and I off. I decided to just take this trip aone, since I didn't wanna have my brother (anti-drug fanatic; yet he drinks) babysitting two rollers. They drop me off reluctantly off at my house, giving me the pill, and me giving them $15 for it, and an additional $5 for the ride home. They tell me how to parachute and recommend it.
I get home and my brother is awaiting me, knowing I'd be out, but not expecting me til earlier. Wanting to dose immediately, I get 1 or 2 squares of toilet paper, bring them and the pill to my kitchen table and prep a cup of iced tea. I walk into the other living room to put on an anime -- Tenchi Muyo (I know it's stupid, but my bro wanted me to watch it.) I hear him rustling around in the kitchen. "Oh shit" I think, I have to get to that pill before him. I walk briskly in, and cup my hand over the pill on the table, just leaning on the table, looking as nonchalant an inconspicuous as possible. It worked, and I put it back into my pocket. He goes back off into his room, and I go into the bathroom for more toilet paper, also to grind it up in safety. I grind it, and wrap it in fuckin' 5 squares of toilet paper, double wrapped the pill, and knotted it. I hold onto and make my way into the kitchen againn for the tea. My bro now for some reason wants to watch the damn anime with me. I placate him for 30 minutes, and he nods off at about 1:25 AM, then I make him go to bed. And he's 18, I can't deal with that shit.
--------------
Finally
--------------
Setting: my house, mainly living room, house temp 74 degrees F.
Time: Dose at 1:30 AM
The pill: Red scorpion -- Tampa, FL. Roughly 1/4 inch long, 1 cm wide
I wet the rather intimidating wad of toilet paper and X with iced tea for flavor, put it in my mouth, and swallow gulps of more tea. It goes down easily. I try to connect to the internet, doesn't work, so I put on American Beauty. Totally awesome movie if you haven't seen it. I sit for about 25 minutes, and C calls me up, asking if I feel anything. I say I don't, and she says she'll call me in about 30 more minutes. I sit watching, and the net finally works again, so I browse Bluelight and other things. I check through myspace and see I've gotten death threats from someone I pissed off. I'll tell you how and why if you ask, but not now. This is one of the main reasons I wanted to trip that night, so I could get over all of this shit in my life at the moment.
It's about an hour, and I'm not feeling anything. Perhaps a giddiness, but that could be a placebo or just me talking to someone cool on AIM. I get another call from C, she's feeling it. I'm not. She hands the phone to the K, and he gives me some tips -- tells me to spin around, turn off all the lights, put on some tunes (techno), and fuck around with my head. I did. I spun all I could spin. I listened to all the crappy techno I could listen to, I screwed my head out of place. Didn't feel anything. And I was totally doubting the trip at this point. It was about 2 and a half hours in, and I was tired. I didn't need to deal with this, I could sleep. I get on BL, talk around, and they just say to talk to people online, chill to some music that I like, and don't even think about it. In about 30 minutes of listening to Pink Floyd, The Shins, The Postal Service, Massive Attack, and Simon and Garfunkel, I had finally felt some of the euphoria they describe. but I knew the main reason I didn't feel anything all that much : how much tissue paper I used in parachuting. I pretty much just slowed down what the regular speed of the full pill might be. So all I had was a more energetic pot high.
So, I get onto my deviantart, and get some comments, and make some comments and critiques on other's work, and this one guys seems really cool, so I IM him out of the blue. He's in Hawaii, so he's actually up. It's about 4:30 now, and hes totally cool. We talk about all this random shit. Religion, drugs, poetry, his band, love, etc. All the time, I'm hitting home with all of my insights, and I'm realizing all of this stuff now. And "Mine's a High Horse" - The Shins comes on, and it's the most amazing song at the moment, though I never really liked it up to this point. Everything seems right with the world. This is the most informative and helpful conversation of my entire life.
I make my way apologizing to people that I have wronged, and set everything right in these wee hours of the night, though just really sending emails to people, never talking to them in person.
At about 7:10 Am, I realize I should get to bed, so I abandon the computer and get into bed, putting on The Dresden Dolls. "Kissed Me" is just an amazing song at this moment. The covers feel great. I thought I was over the trip and at baseline now, so I close my eyes. I lay there for 20 minutes. I know there's no way I'll get to sleep. And my parents are coming home within 20 minutes. And my pupils are fucking huge.
I do all of the chores I left unfinished : dishes, putting the dog out, feeding him, giving him water. I get a shower, making sure to style my hair just right to where they'd cover my eyes. About 5 minutes before they come in, I make some Pop Tart knockoffs which taste orgasmic, and watch the rest of American Beauty. It's an amazing movie. I'm laughing my ass off. I hear the front door open, my parents come in, and I say to them without looking away from the tv "Mooooorning." It's dark in our house, so as long as I don't look them in the eyes, I'm good. I sit there for about a half hour, and come into the kitchen where they are, and sit at the table with them talking. I don't know why I did it. I must've been really confident or really smart not to draw their attention by avoiding them. All the same, I talked to them and I guess they thought I was a lil loopy, 'cause they asked me whether or not I had gone to sleep. I hadn't, so I told them the truth, and they were okay with it because I did all my shit and some. They want me to get some sleep, and I pass out on their bed within minutes. I wake up 2 hours later, my pupils still relatively large.
I run into my room and go back to sleep. I sleep for about 6 hours. I'm still tired as all hell. I didn't "trip balls,' but it was sooooo fucking worth it.
--------------------------
Now it's about 2 days after and I feel like shit. Nothing is as good as I thought it was, but I'm holdinng true to what I learned from the trip. I forgot to mention that I've battled with depression for about 3 years. Now I'm running on no sleep cause by my dislike for music after how great it was during the trip, and I'm in a fight with people that I absolutely love.
Here's what one of them said yesterday after I told them I rolled :
"whatever J. you are self pitying yourself. you turn to drugs all because you self pity yourself. you need grow up and face the world. yeah its harsh but you know what its better than a fake reality that you get from your drugs. your stuck with who you are for the rest of your life. and you've got to learn to like yourself. J your a wonderful person full of life and potential. Stop ruining the potential with drugs."
I feel like I'm going to or should die.
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