MDMA (150mg) - First Time - "the cure"

[Bsilvey22]

Ok, I am trying to write this the morning after my experience and this is also my first report. My timeline is a little off so I apologize.
AGE:24
WEIGHT:250
DRUG EXPERIENCE: psilocibin once, lsd 30+ times, dxm, codine


I had just acquired a 150 mg dose of MDMA. I was so nervous, as I always get even with the countless lsd trips, even heroic doses. So, i really mentally am putting myself in a place to think deeper. I have heard MDMA can help PTSD, which I suffer from. Sometimes it becomes completely debilitating.

10 minutes in: I took the parachute and took a few dabs, I am a HEAVY pot smoker so this is nothing unusual for me. Then I start to feel this vibration in my extremities. A weird energy rush I couldnt wait to see what would be next.

30 min: Still coming up, I go outside and just enjoy the symbology of tress. I feel like I am losing control of what I saay and my body now.

All time became meaningless at this point. I will just summarize the experience i guess. I was laying on my couch and just decided that its now or never. I dove right into the center of my depression and PTSD. I had NO fear NO reservations to even talk to my wife about things I was blocking from my own memory. I feel like I have rewired my brain to re associate different emotions with the repressed memories. I feel free. All of me makes up me, even the parts i repress, that I cant deal with, I just deal with them in an indirect manner, usually harming myself, arguing with my wife or cutting off friends did this trick. I want nothing to do with that now. It is just amazing.

Lsd is my favorite drug ever. However, MDMA is a rival. LSD has given me a lot of freedom. but NOTHING like this.

I feel joy.
I feel love.
Sorry again for the terrible report. This shit has just completly changed my life. Im not jumping at every little noise today, and for the first time since i was about 11...
I DONT want to die.
By far the most amazing, freedom filled experience in my life.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_lifechanging
roacode_oral

 

[Tk91]

That is great to hear. It really does break down the walls within your mind. MDMA was a complete game changer for me also. It showed a side of me that could be completely open with anyone about anything. Once I experienced what that was like I carried this new way of living with me. Personally I feel it helped shaped me into the person I am today since I had this experience in my mid. Iv taken mushrooms and truffles before whih id describe as food for the soul but not lsd as of yet although can't wait to take then plunge

 

[Innerpeace]

good to see a user with lots of psychedelic experience have a good experience with this. yes mdma is in the empathogen class of drugs which controls fear in the amaygulia (sp) part of the brain. It is very useful-involved in couples therapy, being completely honest with yourself, and your mate. its also useful for facing dramatic experiences that may have emotional scarred you that usually signal fear so yu can face them and cope with them more honestly and better

its important to not use too much and it stops working as goodand in some cases stops working at all-ive been there on the former and latter

 

[Bsilvey22]

I actually only bought a certain amount through a good friend and asked them to not get me any more, sure I could try to, but with that thought process there it lessened my risk. I am still integrating and recognizing massive changes in my personality since this experience. None bad, I have a deep understanding, humans deserve love. Period. This includes yourself.

 

[Bsilvey22]

Lsd is just ridiculous for me. Causes full on synergy for my soul. Or whatever you want to believe in. It is what broke me, taught me humility and to shut my mouth. It should me the path I am currently still on.
It lead me to seeking a degree in social work anc I hope to one day include shamanistic therapy (yep it's a thing). Who knows, soon I may be able to administer clients with mdma and offer them the solution of happiness that is self.

 

[No. 13 Baby]

I hope I have a similar experience my 2nd time