Jonny Apple
Bluelighter
30 minutes prior to leaving the for a concert 7 ground up hbrw seeds in a capsule were ingested. Pulling into the parking lot the 1st E pill was ingested, based on my previous E pill experiences and taking some of the same pills from the same batch a few weeks back I was fairly confident that the pills were a majority MDA if not all MDA, triple stacks.
Once inside and while waiting for the good bands to come on, and before I began to feel much I was at the bar with a bunch of friends and decided to have just one beer, well after literally 2 sips I realized that was a huge mistake as my stomach almost immediately felt like something was coming back up...... slowly I made my way to the bathroom as the effects are starting to set in and I find myself staring into the bathroom mirror for an unknown amount of time, waiting, hoping that whatever was gonna come would just hurry up and get it over with as I did not want to feel this while I tripping. So after a few unsuccessful gaging attempts and dry heaves nothing would come, about 20 minutes after the stomach pains began I let out several long and deep burps and all stomach pain vanished for the night never to return. With that cloud lifted from my head I felt a new person, I was ready for a good time.
Wandering around the venue I ran into a couple of females that I knew, and talked to them for a few minutes and gave them hugs. Wow those hugs quickly filled me a strong sexual energy and while talking to them I had to contain myself from telling them the thoughts and ideas going though my mind about them..........anyway I made my way outside a couple of times to smoke some cigs like a fiend, a couple bathroom trips to piss and stare into the mirror, have a couple random conversations with complete strangers, and suddenly it was almost an hour and a half since I took my first pill, and the headlining band was coming on in about 30 minutes.
I found myself in a quieter almost empty area of the building sitting on a bench type thing. I wanted to take a breather and assess my mental state. Colors were brighter, everything had a sparkle to it, everything was had become...fluid, wavy......distance was becoming less and less detectable, something would catch my attention and whatever I could imagine would become what I was seeing, almost like mini lucid dreams while I was awake, very, very fun and unusual.
The second pill was gone about 10 minutes before the main band came on. I moved around the crowd to find my group of friends. Moving though the crown towards my friends I began to get these rushes or waves of just pure euphoria. It felt as though everyone at the concert was on the same wavelength and that because of it some sort of collective mind set had formed around everyone, keeping everyone in that same mind set. I remember thinking that anyone who walked in from outside would almost have no choice but to fall into this collective mind set. I get to my friends and start watching the concert. They had numerous lights on stage, different colors, flashing, strobing, moving to the music...........about 30 minutes into the last band I remember the lights were starting to leave afterimages, and tracers, I was completely immerse red in watching the light show, at one point I thought that I was inside a living painting.
At another point I was watching the band and I started to see 2 realities, as if I were in 2 places at once and what I was seeing in both of those places was overlapping each other. One of them was the concert, and the other looked like I might have been in mall, I saw people walking by me carrying what looked like shopping bags....Another time I remember that I was looking around the crowd of people, watching them moving and singing along with the music and I was thinking “wow this is what being human is all about” I need to forget about all the shit I hate about humanity, about the past and about the future and just let myself live a little, be happy with what I’m doing right now and nothing else. I was smiling to myself because I felt like I had figured out some secret about being happy.
Im not really sure I accurately describe what happened next, but Im trying anyways. It felt like my mind was beginning to drift away, what it was drifting into I cant really say, just that it felt like it was drifting away. I tried to make myself have a few thoughts, and then I tried to think about what I was trying to think about and next thing I was completely surrounded by something, it had movements, morphing colors and patterns, but no definitive shape or position, or size. I started to think again, but not it was not my normal way of thinking, like I was thinking but I didn’t know were the thoughts were originating from, and I was not thinking in words, maybe more like concepts with no identity attached to them, hard to explain though.
The best I could come up with to describe what I was thinking is this........How is it possible that anything exits?, how could something come from absolute nothing? Its impossible, it could never happened, so then how is there anything. Maybe there is nothing at all. Maybe that absolute nothing that nothing could have come from is all that there could be, it’s the only thing that makes sense, but if all there is, is nothing then why am I here? But what if this absolute nothingness I am trying to conceive of actually did exist wouldn’t it really be both absolute nothing and absolute everything at the same time?, and if its nothing and everything it most be infinite, eternal, just pure existence. All realities are subjective, because reality would require an observer. There must be infinite realities, because reality is just looking at existence from a perspective. Right and wrong, good and bad, cause and effect, and everything in between came from the same origin, the same singularity, the same oneness, im not even sure what to call it. Everything, is just one. Duality, opposites , difference, whatever you wanna call it, don’t really exist except to an observer. What you have when all observations are gone is existence, and for a short time I felt like that’s what I had experienced.
After that, the next thing I remember was sitting in my car, in my driveway smoking the rest of my cigs with the windows down and heat blasting. The rest of the night I had this feeling of life just makes absolute perfect sense to me. Even a couple days later I’m shocked it was such a strong and positive trip. Wow is all I can really say about the experience.
Once inside and while waiting for the good bands to come on, and before I began to feel much I was at the bar with a bunch of friends and decided to have just one beer, well after literally 2 sips I realized that was a huge mistake as my stomach almost immediately felt like something was coming back up...... slowly I made my way to the bathroom as the effects are starting to set in and I find myself staring into the bathroom mirror for an unknown amount of time, waiting, hoping that whatever was gonna come would just hurry up and get it over with as I did not want to feel this while I tripping. So after a few unsuccessful gaging attempts and dry heaves nothing would come, about 20 minutes after the stomach pains began I let out several long and deep burps and all stomach pain vanished for the night never to return. With that cloud lifted from my head I felt a new person, I was ready for a good time.
Wandering around the venue I ran into a couple of females that I knew, and talked to them for a few minutes and gave them hugs. Wow those hugs quickly filled me a strong sexual energy and while talking to them I had to contain myself from telling them the thoughts and ideas going though my mind about them..........anyway I made my way outside a couple of times to smoke some cigs like a fiend, a couple bathroom trips to piss and stare into the mirror, have a couple random conversations with complete strangers, and suddenly it was almost an hour and a half since I took my first pill, and the headlining band was coming on in about 30 minutes.
I found myself in a quieter almost empty area of the building sitting on a bench type thing. I wanted to take a breather and assess my mental state. Colors were brighter, everything had a sparkle to it, everything was had become...fluid, wavy......distance was becoming less and less detectable, something would catch my attention and whatever I could imagine would become what I was seeing, almost like mini lucid dreams while I was awake, very, very fun and unusual.
The second pill was gone about 10 minutes before the main band came on. I moved around the crowd to find my group of friends. Moving though the crown towards my friends I began to get these rushes or waves of just pure euphoria. It felt as though everyone at the concert was on the same wavelength and that because of it some sort of collective mind set had formed around everyone, keeping everyone in that same mind set. I remember thinking that anyone who walked in from outside would almost have no choice but to fall into this collective mind set. I get to my friends and start watching the concert. They had numerous lights on stage, different colors, flashing, strobing, moving to the music...........about 30 minutes into the last band I remember the lights were starting to leave afterimages, and tracers, I was completely immerse red in watching the light show, at one point I thought that I was inside a living painting.
At another point I was watching the band and I started to see 2 realities, as if I were in 2 places at once and what I was seeing in both of those places was overlapping each other. One of them was the concert, and the other looked like I might have been in mall, I saw people walking by me carrying what looked like shopping bags....Another time I remember that I was looking around the crowd of people, watching them moving and singing along with the music and I was thinking “wow this is what being human is all about” I need to forget about all the shit I hate about humanity, about the past and about the future and just let myself live a little, be happy with what I’m doing right now and nothing else. I was smiling to myself because I felt like I had figured out some secret about being happy.
Im not really sure I accurately describe what happened next, but Im trying anyways. It felt like my mind was beginning to drift away, what it was drifting into I cant really say, just that it felt like it was drifting away. I tried to make myself have a few thoughts, and then I tried to think about what I was trying to think about and next thing I was completely surrounded by something, it had movements, morphing colors and patterns, but no definitive shape or position, or size. I started to think again, but not it was not my normal way of thinking, like I was thinking but I didn’t know were the thoughts were originating from, and I was not thinking in words, maybe more like concepts with no identity attached to them, hard to explain though.
The best I could come up with to describe what I was thinking is this........How is it possible that anything exits?, how could something come from absolute nothing? Its impossible, it could never happened, so then how is there anything. Maybe there is nothing at all. Maybe that absolute nothing that nothing could have come from is all that there could be, it’s the only thing that makes sense, but if all there is, is nothing then why am I here? But what if this absolute nothingness I am trying to conceive of actually did exist wouldn’t it really be both absolute nothing and absolute everything at the same time?, and if its nothing and everything it most be infinite, eternal, just pure existence. All realities are subjective, because reality would require an observer. There must be infinite realities, because reality is just looking at existence from a perspective. Right and wrong, good and bad, cause and effect, and everything in between came from the same origin, the same singularity, the same oneness, im not even sure what to call it. Everything, is just one. Duality, opposites , difference, whatever you wanna call it, don’t really exist except to an observer. What you have when all observations are gone is existence, and for a short time I felt like that’s what I had experienced.
After that, the next thing I remember was sitting in my car, in my driveway smoking the rest of my cigs with the windows down and heat blasting. The rest of the night I had this feeling of life just makes absolute perfect sense to me. Even a couple days later I’m shocked it was such a strong and positive trip. Wow is all I can really say about the experience.
