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maybe...

someone

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 17, 2002
Messages
161
My heart breaks just a little...
as I see you moving through the lights
trying to disapear in a sea of people
trying to make yourself beleive,
that for a moment you are happy...
I wish I was your best friend
that I could shelter you
make it all better,
uncloud all that covers you
make all the saddness that you try to disguise end
you forget that I knew you when you were little,
That I spent Christmas's trying to decide what to get you, and that I slept just down the hall...
that I have seen you at your lowest points
and that I will be there to see you at your highest also...
I see you with them
they are all around you
and I can't help but to feel that you are lost
and I am afriad that you will never find your way home...I want to cry,
but there are all these people here...
all I can do is watch you as you fade into your numbness,
the place you find when you close your eyes
when you are so high that you hope you will never come down...
because you believe nothing can touch you there
I am afriad that if I look away you will disapear
I am sitting here thinking of ways to save you
for I am just now realizing,
that I could have been there too...
It dosn't make me stronger,
It dosn't make me wise,
I just took another path....thats all...
I just am not ready to say goodbye
I can tell that you are breaking
that you are distracted and I can't help but wounder if you realize I am still in the room...
I hate that you turn to these extremes
to quite your fears
I know that you want out...
that you can't see the door
it's hard for you to remember...
...what it was like before
I know that God gave you a heart, so big...
that you feel it sometimes fails you
I now pray in this moment that he wont let you go
.....and I hurt for you....because I know that you are in pain,
even if in this moment you feel safe
.....you know that sunrise will take this feeling away and that you'll be left with black coffee and the taste of ciggertees
I need some fresh air...but it's too cold to go outside, maybe if I sit here long enough....
I'll fall asleep...maybe I will wake up...
and we'll be home with are family....
little agian.....and you will be happy....that you will be free... maybe
 
very good writing from you once again, It's been a while I think since I last read some of your work. It's hard to know how to feel when someone you care about is going off the deep end, is all you can do is try and be there for them and hope for the best. Im sure many can relate.
 
someone,
this was such a heartfelt, amazing display of emotion. Makes me almost want to know the story behind it... is this your brother? your friend? are you talking about addiction or something else? but i grasped what you are getting at... and i think many of us have been there. where you have all the bright lights around you and everyone thinks you are this untouchable person but despite it all, you feel so damn LOST, and maybe there's only one person out there that sees right through you.... i feel that way about my ex often. wishing i could help him in some way, make his problems go away... but he cant admit he has any. and he has chosen to move so far away that i cant help him... i can only sit here and wish.
i hope that this person gets that help. feeling lost and empty is such a hard feeling.
 
I did truly enjoy reading this, although ir brings a rememberance into my mind. I know how you feel that you reach so far out to grab ahold of someone that you care about.... but in the end you realize that if they have no open ears no listening eyes then all you can do is watch and hope for the best..... I know.... it does hurt but those are the paths we choose some better some worse, but there is always hope
:)
 
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