Maybe the DSM-5 was written about my life?

Nah but things are crazy. Just got out of another fucking phych hospital. I think every admission brings me another step closer to hell. I know this one did. First they cut me off suboxone with only clonidine and robaxin the worlds worst muscle relaxer to ease any of the pain. Luckily the half life held off the sickness for 4 of the 5 days i was there but facing down that kind of sickness and not knowing when or if you can get well is not something i would wish on my worst enemy. Its just mental torture I don't know how people survive kicking maintenance habits in jail I really don't but massive sympathy to those that have or will in the future.

So I got out yesterday got to the sub doctor today and my prescription is ready at the pharmacy. Please pray my mom gets here before 10 so we can get it. I dont know if ill survive another night of this. This is like the bad old days all over again. I swear i thought i was done with this part of my life. Well I guess not huh?

So to recap I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, adhd, and complex-ptsd. That is a mouthful. Oh and im a drug addict. Fuck

 

Im sorry m8, I really am

 

You've got to be really careful about embracing diagnoses. If they help you (empower you with new knowledge and self-awareness) then by all means take them on. But if they further undermine your self-esteem by making you feel like someone defined by diagnoses, ie trapped by them, then fight them off. The way I see it is that they can be both and you need to be vigilant when applying them to yourself.

 

So, you answered my ? On one of your other posts. Sorry I'm a little slow lol. Hey, dont beat yourself up over what you were diagnosed with. If your not diagnosed with something in your life then you just ain't normal is how I see it lol. Again, prayers to you, dont give up. I can see you are a fighter. So fight that shit. Kick its ass. The drugs, you can do it. You have to remember when you feel like you cant take it, like you have to have it remind yourself what your worth in this life. Think of how better your life can be. Easier said than done trust me I know. Even when you feel like you're dying and cant take it also remember this... your not dying. You dont need it, you are a survivor. Okay, that was corny lol. Starting to sound like a damn motivational robot recording or dr. Phil lmao. Just know you're not alone! Hang in there!!!!