Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2008
- Messages
- 94,868
I have 6 months 1 week clean
What's 90 in 90? (I'm new here)day 11 clean from heroin.
t-minus 1 hour till my NA meeting. this is the end of my third week of daily meetings. trying for the whole 90 in 90 thing.
happy may, everyone! let's keep up the momentum.
yeah I'm around the same day today would be day 16 with a slip up on day 13 but it was such a minute amount of a low level opiate and kept it to just that one time that one day that i don't feel any difference in my recovery or state of mind that I'm deciding not to count it lol but i feel physically fine but just have quite a bit of lethargy and lack of motivation still. on days that i have off like today i go for an hour walk or so and then feel like i do nothing all day, at least after work i have a reason to be tired and feel better about myself after. i used to live for days off when i was using bc it meant i could use dope all day. now i look forward to the days i work all day bc it goes by faster. another day down
Another day sober.
5 days total.
Chugged half bottle of NyQuil to sleep. Slept from 1130-2am. Leaving for work now at 550am. sucks. Legs still hurting
The worst part of it all was my dreams. I came across an old acquaintance with hydros even though hydros would be my last resort. OPIATES are all I think about I crave so hard my heart is gonna burst sometimes, it doesn't matter how busy I am.
Deep seeded in my heart I know im using friday and it's very sad unless I get a little better as days improve.
I was so shot from work yesterday I got home and laid in bed staring at ceiling listening to music enraged from 4pm to 1130 pm
The 2nd worst part is im more mad now then when my mom died. Sad but true. Maybe cuz I know she's not coming back but opiates are always 1 mile from my house
Ugh have a good one everyone
4 days
Again twins.... I was sooo fuckin mad yesterday at work. I jus don't understand how I'm gonna get through work everyday wo drugs. I'm also mad that i can't jus enjoy opiates wo them destroying shit lol. It really is like losing a lover or a best friend. My heart aches in this process but at the same time, I know it needs to be done bc I wanna live my life another way
My legs were hurting SOOOOOO bad yesterday by the end of my work shift ... And I dont fuckin get it.... I was taking gapapentin 600mg like one every hour. I musta had about 8 yesterday. It was like the more gaba I took the worse my legs got! I'll have to see how I do today. Feel like shit but my legs arwnt bad yet tho