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May getting and/or staying sober thread v. May flowers

I can't believe it's been a full year since I first came to SL for support. You're all so amazing keep up the great work!

Soo much has changed since last summer...
 
I've been struggling with the idea of staying sober the past few days, it's taken a shitload of willpower so far not to use. I tried living a normal life for a few months but things just aren't going well for me don't really see the point of staying sober atm. I got kicked out of the sober house basically only because I didn't get along with the clown house manager, he didn't show me any respect so I stood up for myself and he went off the rails. I almost knocked that mf'er out but glad I showed restraint. Good riddance tbh, I fucken hated that place, glad I didn't use over that bs. Lost my job, which also sucked big time, because I had to move back home. it just feels like i'm back at square one really, thinking I might have a beer or two since I dont get breathalyzed anymore, never really had problem with alc ever anyway. I just want to get fucked up on non-habit forming drugs...no opiates. Also, I could really use a good trip right now I feel like that could help center me and figure some shit out. Just being honest it's been a horrible week and I need to do something about it before it gets worse :\

Anyway, on the brightside I have 67 days clean. I'll try a meeting tonight and say a prayer see what happens.
 
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escape20 said:
I've been struggling with the idea of staying sober the past few days, it's taken a shitload of willpower so far not to use. I tried living a normal life for a few months but things just aren't going well for me don't really see the point of staying sober atm. I got kicked out of the sober house basically only because I didn't get along with the clown house manager, he didn't show me any respect so I stood up for myself and he went off the rails. I almost knocked that mf'er out but glad I showed restraint. Good riddance tbh, I fucken hated that place, glad I didn't use over that bs. Lost my job, which also sucked big time, because I had to move back home. it just feels like i'm back at square one really, thinking I might have a beer or two since I dont get breathalyzed anymore, never really had problem with alc ever anyway. I just want to get fucked up on non-habit forming drugs...no opiates. Also, I could really use a good trip right now I feel like that could help center me and figure some shit out. Just being honest it's been a horrible week and I need to do something about it before it gets worse :\

Anyway, on the brightside I have 67 days clean. I'll try a meeting tonight and say a prayer see what happens.
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Keep it up escape. 67 days is awesome, especially having gone through some stressful situations and maintained your sobriety. I can definitely relate to feeling like you need a good trip. I've gone through numerous situations over the last year I've been in recovery where I strongly felt like I needed a good trip to work some things out mentally, haven't done it yet but don't particularly have anything against doing it - just hasn't truly been time for me yet perhaps? Psychs can absolutely be abused and great caution must be used but I also wouldn't ever say it's automatically a "relapse". Everyone is different. Keep up the great work though!
 
2 years and 4 months clean. I remember back when SL began and posting in these threads. Keep going people, never give up. Chase your passions as the world is endless and possibilities limitless.
 
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