• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

May getting and/or staying sober thread v. May flowers

"thumbs up," Phactor! 17 days is ace... You've got this I hope you're proud of you.

Space - I we all love our CH too.

Evey

It is really sticking this time and I am just not fighting the recovery process this time. I honestly sometimes feel as if I picked up almost right back where I was when I had about a year clean. Other times I feel like I did with maybe 2-3 months under my belt. I do know that I do not feel as scared and hopeless as I did when I went into treatment years ago.

So grateful for you all! Lets go get it today! I have the day off and am relaxing, cleaning, working out and getting ready for my friday NA meeting. Its tons of fun and I will be honest, has some hotties there and they got good clean time even :D I think I'm gonna get all dressed up and snazzy for it. Nothing wrong with flossin a bit.



Song of the day for me! I'd much rather wash my troubles away with Billie Jean, Coltrane and Gil Scott then booze and drugs any day!
 
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It is really sticking this time and I am just not fighting the recovery process this time. I honestly sometimes feel as if I picked up almost right back where I started when I had about a year clean. Other times I feel like I did with maybe 2-3 months under my belt. I do know that I do not feel as scared and hopeless as I did when I went into treatment.

So grateful for you all! Lets go get it today! I have the day off and am relaxing, cleaning, working out and getting ready for my friday NA meeting. Its tons of fun and I will be honest, has some hotties there and they got good clean time even :D

Personally, I wouldn't worry about counting days or owt like that. The fact that you're trying and persevering is what truly matters. So many people just give up.. You had a year clean and in that year you were healthy, right. In a way that year will have had an affect on your life now compared with if you had spent that year using, if you get me?! You probably feel different this time because you are ready now. I believe that a person has to truly be ready for recovery and want it more than anything, but want it for THEM not for other people. I think if they want it for other people then they are more likely to feel dispare because their mind and body still want the drugs.

Maybe I'm talking a load of rubbish haha....

Anyway I'm really pleased for you.

Evey
 
Personally, I wouldn't worry about counting days or owt like that. The fact that you're trying and persevering is what truly matters. So many people just give up.. You had a year clean and in that year you were healthy, right. In a way that year will have had an affect on your life now compared with if you had spent that year using, if you get me?! You probably feel different this time because you are ready now. I believe that a person has to truly be ready for recovery and want it more than anything, but want it for THEM not for other people. I think if they want it for other people then they are more likely to feel dispare because their mind and body still want the drugs.

Maybe I'm talking a load of rubbish haha....

Anyway I'm really pleased for you.

Evey

Every single thing you said rings true!

And yes, I am really proud of myself.
 
6 months off methadone now. No stimulants or benzos during this time either :)
 
predicted large meteor shower tonight.. 1-4 am est.. might be killer.. 200-1000 per hour estimated:D

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Today was a little tough, but i didnt use. Pigged out on pizza, lol... But i didnt use :)

Did that a few days ago, when I get clean I eat like a horse. I am a skinny motherfucker so this is a good thing. When I was clean last time I ended up getting pretty built up. Going to do that again!

Anyways, got a long day of work today but that is a good thing. Going to go to a meeting after. Just eating breakfest and drinking some coffee before I get ready to go.

Everyone have a great day!

I really liked today's JFT:

Risking vulnerability

Page 150

"As we grow, we learn to overcome the tendency to run and hide from ourselves and our feelings."

Basic Text, p. 85

Rather than risk vulnerability, many of us have developed habits that keep others at a safe distance. These patterns of emotional isolation can give us the feeling we are hopelessly locked behind our masks. We used to take risks with our lives; now we can take risks with our feelings. Through sharing with other addicts, we learn that we are not unique; we do not make ourselves unduly vulnerable simply by letting others know who we are, for we are in good company. And by working the Twelve Steps of the NA program, we grow and change. We no longer want or need to hide our emerging selves. We are offered the opportunity to shed the emotional camouflage we developed to survive our active addiction.

By opening ourselves to others, we risk becoming vulnerable, but that risk is well worth the rewards. With the help of our sponsor and other recovering addicts, we learn how to express our feelings honestly and openly. In turn, we become nourished and encouraged by the unconditional love of our companions. As we practice spiritual principles, we find strength and freedom, both in ourselves and in those around us. We are set free to be ourselves and to enjoy the company of our fellow addicts.

Just for Today: I will openly and honestly share with another recovering addict. I will risk becoming vulnerable and celebrate my self and my friendship with other NA members. I will grow.

Wether you are in the program or not, one often has to step out of their comfort zone to grow!
 
When one is released from the prison of self, that is indeed release, for that is the greater prison. When this release takes place, then one cannot be outwardly imprisoned. When they put my feet in stocks, I would say to the guard, ‘You cannot imprison me, for here I have light and air and bread and water. There will come a time when my body will be in the ground, and I shall have neither light nor air nor food nor water, but even then I shall not be imprisoned.’ The afflictions which come to humanity sometimes tend to centre the consciousness upon the limitations, and this is a veritable prison. Release comes by making of the will a Door through which the confirmations of the Spirit come. – Abdu’l-Baha, Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 120.

Thought this was applicable in many ways. I am very much investigating the Bahai faith right now. I have long been interested and it seems like a perfect fit, but of course I didn't like the ban on alcohol. Well now I look at that as a good thing!

I put myself out there and decided to have a member call me. I am close to one of the world's largest Bahai populations as well. Seems like fate. I am not really into organized religion but Bahai's belief that all religions are from the same source and that man must strive to overcome prejudice makes so much damn sense. Unity!
 
Today marks a week since I did dope. I got on methadone last friday, and did my last little bit of H the following saturday morning... now here it is Saturday morning again. I've made it through a week, and already dropped down from 30 to 24. Not trying to overdo it, so I'll probably stay at 24 for another whole week before I do another drop.

For now I'm about to drive to the clinic and dose my methadone on an empty stomach (feel like feeling it, so sue me), and come home and eat some delish overnight oats I made last night. After that it'll be cleaning up the apartment, jobsearching, and rewatching Sopranos season 1.
 
Today marks a week since I did dope. I got on methadone last friday, and did my last little bit of H the following saturday morning... now here it is Saturday morning again. I've made it through a week, and already dropped down from 30 to 24. Not trying to overdo it, so I'll probably stay at 24 for another whole week before I do another drop.

For now I'm about to drive to the clinic and dose my methadone on an empty stomach (feel like feeling it, so sue me), and come home and eat some delish overnight oats I made last night. After that it'll be cleaning up the apartment, jobsearching, and rewatching Sopranos season 1.

That's ace, BlueSaffron. Nice one.
Hope you have a nice weekend.

Nice one, CH!
Phacker that's interesting stuff!

Evey
 
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