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May getting and/or staying sober thread v. May flowers

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Ex-Bluelighter
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Feb 9, 2013
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This thread is for anyone who is trying to get sober for the first time, or has been sober for as much time as 1 day to 30 years. Everyone is welcome to post in this thread. Please adhere to the Bluelight User Agreement and Sober Living Forum Guidelines.

The April thread can be found by clicking > here <

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Here are the last few posts from last months thread:

CaseFace said:
350 days now. Cravings worse then I expected the closer I get to a year. Just confirms that PAWS is very real and something to watch out for. I've made some changes to my program over the last few weeks, however - positive changes, and I'm confident I'll continue maintaining my sobriety.

Keep it up everyone.
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badfish45 said:
Totally broke my sobriety during work/school week

trying again. a bit more optimistic but still not feeling very good today :/ Hopefully I will do something healthier to release my stress and emotions tonight.
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omen_owen mk2 said:
I'm a firm believer in everyone needing to take recovery at their own pace so don't take this as a criticism but:

I've never understood why people reduce so slowly on benzos once they're down to smaller levels where going cold turkey isn't dangerous. If people are finding it difficult doing a slow reduction it just seems like prolonging the agony to me when they could just knock it on the head and be done with the whole ordeal (for the most part) in a week or two. The wd from that level wont be that bad. I understand it if they have commitments that means they can't spend a week in bed but it seems like the harder route to take. I guess maybe it's a mental thing for lots of people?

Like I said don't take that as an attack, I'm just thinking aloud.
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hydroazuanacaine said:
IME, it's harder once you start getting into the lower doses -- why i'm going from 5mg to 2.5mg reductions now that i've hit the teens. i absolutely do not have a week to spend in bed. 15mgs is not a safe dose at which to go cold turkey; just because someone is not having seizures does not mean they are not subject to excitotoxicity. i'm a crazy person who benefits from the medication beyond avoiding physical withdrawal. and it wouldn't work; i'd say fuckit on day two. so, 12.5mgs starting tomorrow.
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omen_owen mk2 said:
Hey I said don't take it personally! I was making a generalised statment.

Out of interest do you have any links to excitotoxicity due to benzodiazepine withdrawal regarding safe levels etc? I'd be interested in reading for my own recovery.
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hydroazuanacaine said:
na, sorry. i don't have access to medical journals anymore -- at some point my alma mater realized i'm no longer a student and cut me off from the online library. i remember, years ago, trying to find articles along those lines. most studies involved absurd doses in lab animals -- actually, sometimes they skip creating tolerance and inject the chemicals that benzo WD creates -- to create lesions. for some reason they will not experiment with humans. case studies (that i found) are worthless in this area. so i cannot cite anything proves that 15mg to cold turkey is not safe, but articles that suggest this are abundant. if you are experiencing WD from benzos, you are experiencing excessive glutamate activity, which is linked to excitotoxicity. that's all i need to know to shoot for the lowest dose before none.

i didn't take it personally. you (kinda, indirectly) asked my reasoning, and there it is. also, i didn't drop down to 12.5mg today. maybe this weekend. work is stressful enough as is. key for me is to never go backward. sticking around at the same dose for longer than intended is not something i criticize myself about. shit, i think it's still progress.

best in your recovery.
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Another 24 for me.....on Sunday I'll have 30 days clean off opiates :) this is by far the most clean time ive had in around 4 years...hope I'm still posting and around for the June thread...
 
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^ Congrats! I can't believe next month is June already. Half of 2014 almost gone.
 
351 days. Exactly 2 weeks until my 1 year mark. Feels so.... weird....? ^^^ Weird and incredible for sure haha I saw your post after typing that it's been weird for me too.

Keep it up everyone! :)
 
Nice thread! First time looking at Sober living section.

I started sober living today, my goal is at least 20 next days because I have this university entrance exam coming up later this month and I'm studying like a motherfucker. Who knows if I will do the whole month.

Yesterday was great farewell and I'm gonna stay strong even though I have various different substances in my drawer.
 
Happy May, everyone! Here in the Midwest, a lot of people will put together a basket of goodies and flowers and leave it at someone's door, knock, and hide. I'd never heard of it until I moved out to the midwest, but it's a nice little tradition. Have a great month!
 
Just A Guy said:
Happy May, everyone! Here in the Midwest, a lot of people will put together a basket of goodies and flowers and leave it at someone's door, knock, and hide. I'd never heard of it until I moved out to the midwest, but it's a nice little tradition. Have a great month!
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That sounds so nice!
 
Another 24.....feeling meh.... wanna pick up. Bad. My job performance is really suffering. I literally just don't have the energy. My whole body hurts all the time. :(:(:(
 
xammy said:
Nice thread! First time looking at Sober living section.

I started sober living today, my goal is at least 20 next days because I have this university entrance exam coming up later this month and I'm studying like a motherfucker. Who knows if I will do the whole month.

Yesterday was great farewell and I'm gonna stay strong even though I have various different substances in my drawer.
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Good luck on the exam! From someone who studied my ass off for an entrance exam recently, the best piece of advice I can give you is don't overshoot your mark!!! I tested into a level of math thats way above my actual ability level because of how much I studied for the exam, and ended up having to drop a class. ESPECIALLY don't just look at practice questions and study those topics, if you want to test into calculus don't just study the algebra that will be on the test, study ALL of algebra. That was my mistake, I studied the topics I knew would be on the test, got into precalculus and then dropped within a week because I couldn't remember how to do a lot of algebra.

Anyway, good luck! I'm sure you'll do great!! Keep up the sobriety! and who knows, maybe after 20 days you'll decide to stick with it instead of just making this a temporary thing? after all, getting into school is only the first part... passing classes is a whole other thing.
 
Nice space!

So I payed the deposit, looks like I'll be spending my summer at a Buddhist retreat center! I'm excited and nervous. And also not getting my hopes up actually, biggest thing I've learned in recovery is to have no expectations, for any minute things can change.

'Night everyone. :)
 
Hi everyone, this is my first time getting sober. I did have a slip up the other day and took a pill, but afterwards I just felt disappointed and angry at myself. It was not at all what my brain kept telling me it would be, and I knew then that this is really over! The fun, the excitement and the joy are all gone from the drug.

I hope everyone here has a great month! Find yourself, fix your relationships, laugh again! It's worth it!
 
Looks like my communuity detox will be taking place at the end of the month. Time to start eating as much as physically possible to build up some energy stores.
 
Cutting down my suboxone dose to try and make it last longer and I can already feel WD symptoms coming on. I went from 12mg to 8 now to 4 in the span of 8 days. It's certainly not a pleasant experience but it's better than being out of my medication. I woke up sweaty with chills, yawns, etc.
My preoccupation with heroin is increasing as well... when I first got sober I used to occasionally remember some using experience, or just remember myself sitting in my room slamming heroin, and suddenly I was so lost in my thoughts 20 minutes has gone by of me just staring at the wall. That hasn't happened to me in a while but it did today, I was remembering a couple years ago I was so high I threw up all over my computer and destroyed the keyboard and suddenly it was 6:45! I haven't had thoughts like this in a while and I don't like them.
 
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