May as well be dead

[jayjaysleepyhead]

Yes, reaver the only man who has not had a go at me today, my crime post did not go down well,and am sick of all the people taking life so god dam serious. Im glad and do not regret any of my posts,i had the balls to post the
m,its hard addiction but I do think u grow out of it,with age , I have a good bit I used to be in and out of prison in my 30s for petty shoplifting but a lot I done 10 short sentences, not proud of it b ut I never hurt no one and thats crucial in life ,apart from these big stores bankbooks,so thanks mate and maybe stay in touch ok.

 

[Reaver99]

Pretty bad memory mate you can always PM me if theres something you need to talk about, I'l try check in here every once in a while. Do you hit up NA/AA etc? I dont believe in pretty much anything they say but find it can be a useful support network + a place to vent.

 

[jayjaysleepyhead]

I used to reaver especially when in resedential rehabs u had to sign consent forms to 2 meetings a week,not for me too many horror stories and glorifying of drugs, I came out wanting to kill certain people , not into group therapy mate prefer 1 to 1s but im finding it hard to leave the house at the mo with this dettoxing stuff, I get para and hallucinate a bit defo need to see a phsych but when am okish, am not too well , people infuriate me outside so I dont trust my temper and I dont fancy prison for some sort of argument that, turned physical, am usually quite a calm bloke can only put it down to drugs.

 

[Reaver99]

Yeah same but the constant drug use just wore me down. I think the combination of benzos and stimulants led to just a build up of anger/bottled emotion because i NEVER felt any of the repercussions of my huge stimulant binges. But then on the session my brain would go proper dark and I'd just want to fucking hurt people. Maybe try hit up your GP or something and get some good one to one psychological support or something mate, I think you'd be able to manage it if you get yourself on a good day ++ a good TIME! Maybe if you dose your benzo + meth at a similar time, take the benzo sublingually so you feel it a little bit and that might carry you past the worst of any anxiety etc.

 

[jayjaysleepyhead]

Hi again good to hear ur still about buddy I dont have a dr as again my anger got better of me,he gave me 2 weeks of zopiclone a mild sleeper and told me not to come back, I felt the rage inside me ,so I said fine you f....in dhead goodbye,few days passed got a letter from nhs which is massive saying I was far too aggressive and I gotta go er if im ill as they want to find me a dr in time and its not first time, I just hate way they treat people asking for a sleepr or a benzo,its not on, so yes I get angry bro. So im top of my clinics list for councelling and probation but they all know how hard I find it to leave my home even for an hour maybe someone can come to me,possibility. Have to ask about that.