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Killing_time

Killing_time

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2003
Messages
1,818
Location
Perth... Plurth... Smurf..s
Recently i've felt a divide growing between some of my mates and myself.
I like to think of ALL my friends as family and try to treat them as such, even if there is always a HUGE amount of sarcasm eminating from a room any of us are in ;), but have been finding that the more time I spend with them the more I realise how little we have in common.
I understand that a group of "me's" in a room having a conversation would be boring as fuck but, on the other hand, I feel that every conversation we have falls in a heap.
To exemplify: My mates have a tendency to smoke HEAPS of weed.
This isn't a problem at all (especially when i'm choofin' with them =D).
The problem lies in the discussions we have.
Everytime someone brings up a topic of any interest everyone dismisses it.
They seem to be more interested in staring at a blank screen than talking about.. well... shit.
I understand this is what bein' stoned is about, in part, but I like to think of myself as a pretty social type, and thus, sitting around not having a conversation is some boring shite.
And this seems to be a continuing thing.
So i'm asking people's views and experiences.
Is it bogus (hehe, what a classy word :)) of me to be bagging my mates for what they do or is legitimate to want to actually do stuff with my mates.
Hmmm, the more I write the more I feel that weed has created a divide in our friendships :\.
This is a serious thought.
And yes I see the irony in the fact i'm sitting here on my computer typing to a bunch of people I don't know (bar a few :)).
=D
PEACE
 
I have been there, I know what you are coming from.

I grew up in Tassie for 13 years and most of my so called "mates" were chronic potheads, just sit on their arses smoke cones all day and stare blankly at the TV screen.

When I turned 18, I decided to leave the "crowd", went overseas, backpacking around Australia, and explored the world a bit, and never went back to Tassie, I went to Tassie about 2 years ago to catch up with some of my relatives, and I my mates again for the first time in nearly 5 years..... still the same, still the same people, still wearing the same style of clothes, still staring at the TV, and being bums while collecting the dole, I never saw them ever again, only saw them once in the last 7 years.

Made me realise I am glad that I "woke up" and escaped out of Tassie and lead a better life with decent job with decent wages and living in decent suburb.

I like weed, but I find weed can be anti-social drug depending on the "mood/type of people, etc" as it can be pretty anti-motivation drug if they are chronic users. Some crowds just depend their lives on weed too much, like my "old crowd" in tassie, that I wish I will never see them again.

Maybe its time for you to leave your home town and explore the country and overseas.... you will learn a lot, and you will meet a lot of people who like weed and they like being socialable, unlike your mates.

I know you like your mates and stuff, but are you telling us, that you are sort of going thru "growing out" stage, I mean you are getting older, and you are becoming more aware with life surrounding you?

It's kinda hard for me to explain properly... but I went thru the same stage as you when I was about 18.

Cheers, Urbie :D
 
My best friend of eight years and i have grown apart in the last year *sigh* We seem to be on different paths and have nothing in common anymore. It's kinda depressing :\

My sister is my best friend and we used to go out alot (in fact she started me on my sociable crusade that lead to doofing and being me and happy) and now she concentrates on working and spending time with her boyfriend *another sigh* I miss partying with her heaps :(

The thing is that we are all on different paths in our lives and sometimes we connect with people at a certain time in the universe and we should treasure that connection at that time because we all move on to other things at some stage and the strong connection we once had may not last forever.

It's time to expand you social circle if your not happy with what's going on in your current one ;)
 
I went through a similiar situation of drifting away from the mates that I grew up with, and it was drug related in a sense. When I stopped smoking pot I started to feel I couldn't relate to the guys anymore, like we were on different levels. They sit around smoking heavily and conversations never really reach any depth - which is fine cause we all joke around, but this is all they do. I also find it hard to find the things they find funny.

I've accepted this as a stage in our friendships but I'm sure the bonds we have will keep us friends.
 
Urbanhog said:
still the same, still the same people, still wearing the same style of clothes, still staring at the TV, and being bums while collecting the dole, I never saw them ever again, only saw them once in the last 7 years.

Made me realise I am glad that I "woke up" and escaped out of Tassie and lead a better life with decent job with decent wages and living in decent suburb.
Click to expand...

You will still die at some stage just like your mates will. You are only saying you are leading a better life because you will be able to buy better possesions with the more money you will now have. If they are truely happy doing nothing I give a big thumbs-up to them. Some people don't need to be succesful and achieve anything to be happy, and I'm one of them. I'm only 18 though and I might change but I don't see it happening. I'm lazy at heart and I think I'll stay that way.

At least you are now happier that you have made the change, that's all that matters. :)
 
yea i know what you mean. I've been dry for the last three weeks for a personal vow (gotta last a month) however all my friends are still hard core drug users, NOSing all the time, An ounce a week, e/lsd every weekend. I was starting to find that they stopped inviting me around because all they were doing in thier spare time was using drugs. So a gulf has widened
 
Ive grown completely apart from all of the friends i had in high school... they all live in the eastern suberbs, they still all go out at the same places we went out when we were 16, they still have the exact same group of guy friends/boyfriends etc etc etc.

I suppose i just cant be content living like that. I know theres SO MUCH MORE to the world than hanging around where i grew up... I mean, its really cool hanging with them every once in a while, its nice knowing they will always be there... but i kinda feel sorry for them because they are missing out on seeing/experiencing so much. Meh. Oh well, their problem, not mine. Ive tried exposing them to other things but there so content and closeminded in exploring things they dont know, i gave up on them years ago. :)
 
i've had pot ruin a lot of good friendships. when i left school i hung out with a small circle of friends and we considered ourselves to be the best of mates, they were all part of my inner circle and we felt nothing could ever break us apart. but for the bulk of the time we sat around doing drugs, especially pot. whilst we still talked and interacted with eachother, the longer and the more we smoked the more we became hostile and untrusting to eachother. i broke away from the group both from choice and their not particularly wanting me too hang around, and whilst most of them remain good, close friends now, i can see that it's not the same as it used to be, i know when i was still hanging with them they bitched and moaned about eachother and there seemed to be a general feeling of distrust.

that being said, i've recently moved back home where most of my good friends from highschool are living. most of the friends i hang out with now i didn't do drugs with and i've come to the realisation that they are/were better friends that the above mentioned whom i thought truly loved and respected me. i don't know if this is making sense but i felt such a connection with my 'inner circle' but it faded away so quickly and made me question what the freindship was really about in the first place. then i come back home to friends i've barely seen for 3 years and i fit right back in. they love and support me and help me through the bad times.

so what i'm trying to get out via this big rant is that i feel that heavy pot use does tend to cloud judgement and makes you forget what is really important.
 
Thanks for all the posts guys.
It's good to see i'm not the only one with such dillemas in their lives.
:)
I guess it's just a sad fact that things change and I have to come to terms with this.
*sigh* :\
PEACE
 
so what i'm trying to get out via this big rant is that i feel that heavy pot use does tend to cloud judgement and makes you forget what is really important.
Click to expand...

So true, it happened to me but then I went on a break and realised what sort of retards I was hanging with. Not because of their pot use but because of who they were.
 
Sorry man, you're probably going to have to find new friends...

I kind of stopped hanging around my stoner friends as they were boring as fuck and didn't really want to do anything except for smoke weed and watch crappy daytime television in my friends garage...

Since then some of them have come around and stopped smoking all the time... The others I rarely see, except to drop in to say hi occasionally, but I usually don't stay long as the conversation is not exactly high calibre.
 
this week is my 13th week of not smoking weed and *omg* i am so much happier. But i think the weirdest thing for me was when i hung out with the people who i know from school who basiclly whenever i spent time with them (aside from school etc) over the past 3 years i was stoned. stoned stoned stoned stoned stoned. and as i sat there and listened to the shit that they spoke the shit i used to find humourous -the bimboness and sheer shelteredness and ignorance of what tehy had to say sometimes i just sat there and finally came to realise "i dont even like these people" ...

Another thing since i stoped smoking ive already started to slip away from my hardcore stoner mates. And it really saddens me, its just, i want to spend time with them, but as has been said its not really riviting conversation when ur straight... and i unno they just dont want to *do* anything, and ven when they are straight or whatever (rare as it may be) i jsut feel that is not the same connection as it used to be... *sigh*

i hate marijuana for that.

i think so much of drug friendships lies on drugs. i have a huge contingent of party friends and i love them all to absolute pieces. But ow many of them would i see if i stopped going out, partying and taing drugs. Someone may be ur *best friend* at 4am on a sunday morning... But would u see them if u stopped playing?

HOWEVER! that said, i have made some of the realest most incredible friends through my parying. and i think that they are the kind of friends that u have to hold onto... the friends who WILL be there even when u stop using. They are the friends that u only meet once in a lifetime and u have to cherish forever...

theres a quote i cant remember form what or how it goes exactly but its something like...

"a true friend will take you home and look after you when you're broken, a party friend offers you another line"
 
I have lost a lot of friends on "The Drug Train"...

It is sad to leave people behind but drugs or no drugs you eventually outgrow certain friends.

Maybe the marijuana is just the catalyst for the change?
 
People have friends for a day,
People have friends for a week,
People have friends for a month,
People have friends for several months,
People have friends for a year,
People have friendds for several years,
People have friends for lifetime............
 
I have a massive post to chuck in here, but haven't the time to complete it.
some time this evening if im lucky
 
killing time,

don't let it get to you..

some people stay mates with the friends they met in kindergarten, others meet their best friends when they are all-grown-up-scary-family-mortgage-settled-life like...


just stay positive, live for you, let your friends be in your life, not you have to be in theirs....
 
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