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Match.com or internet dating?

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Roger32

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 3, 2007
Messages
289
Just turned 25, having 1/3 life crisis over here. Looking to seriously get involved with a good woman. What is the best website for that? Match?

I am basically just looking for a nice girl who is settled, has some kind of job, and is a nice person I get along with
.
 
When I was looking for someone online the best paid site was eharmony. They really look at all aspects of compatibility like their advertisements say. I had a few dates through that site. Surprisingly I met my long term boyfriend on okcupid which is actually a free site so I was surprised it worked. The more sites you can get on the better, the more chance you will have of meeting someone. Good luck and I hope you find the right woman for you!
 
I still think that the net is really not the place for dating. You can easily wind up the victim of lulz on many of the open-ended sites. If you are serious, I recommend eharmony or another serious site that demands paying customers.

If you are stuck in a shitty small town or something, really consider moving to a larger city.
 
Plentyoffish.com
OkCupid.com

Both are Totally FREE to use/search/contact people... A lot of these sites say they are FREE but you have to pay to message anyone, always some bullshit angle that makes you pay to use the website... but these two sites are different
 
Plenty of fish is where two of my friends met ... and it has worked out very well for them :)
Everyone is different though. I would recommend an actual paid site so that you know the people there are serious about meeting someone.
 
Though I'm no longer on the site, I have nothing but good things to say about OkCupid, and may rejoin it once I'm ready for another relationship.
 
eHarmony is cool. I went out on one date after a bad breakup. He stared at my boobies in a weird, drooling type of way, but otherwise it was a nice date. We had fun, but there was no chemistry. I know people who have used Match and plentyoffish. Match is a booty call place and Plentyoffish is too, but maybe it's just the people I know using it for those reasons. I'm sure there are serious people there too. eHarmony is expensive, and there is this weird protocol that if you don't follow it, people get annoyed. lol
 
I'm just wondering that at 25 why you look to a dating site for true love rather than in 'usual' settings - social gatherings, bars, clubs etc? Do you spend a lot of time working / indoors/ online and could maybe be missing out on the social side of things?
 
^mmm.

Roger32 said:
Just turned 25, having 1/3 life crisis over here. Looking to seriously get involved with a good woman. What is the best website for that? Match?

I am basically just looking for a nice girl who is settled, has some kind of job, and is a nice person I get along with
.
Click to expand...

Dunno man, stop looking to get seriously involved, and socialize more.

If you have the intent not to have flings that's great, but just take things as they come, and get out more and talk to more lasses.


Desperate sad sacks go for internet dating for anything other than easy sex imo...even then I wouldn't make a habit out of it...learn to be a more social creature - don't perpetuate your anti-social tendencies.

To answer your question though, I would second OKcupid and plenty of fish for their reps.

Dude - you're MY age, don't resign yourself to this fate.
 
I joined match.com to meet female friends and decided to get laid on the side.
I lived in a new city for a few years and needed to make friends outside the work place.
I have no horror stories. The guys I met were solid and clear on intent. I still keep in touch with one gal I met.

I met my husband on match the last 2 weeks of a 3 month membership.
I was not looking for a husband at age 31 nor did I want to ever get married...until him.

If you are looking to get into a serious relationship, be clear on that. There are plenty of women looking for the same thing.
 
Roger32 said:
Just turned 25, having 1/3 life crisis over here. Looking to seriously get involved with a good woman. What is the best website for that? Match?

I am basically just looking for a nice girl who is settled, has some kind of job, and is a nice person I get along with
.
Click to expand...

You sound like my 23 year old housemate. He's on Match and located in Boston.

He's been on plenty of dates but as said what you'd imagine: the women are just as nuts as the men, the discriptions and pictures you get are misleading, and you're often left footing the bill.

He's been on 7 dates and no seconds, no sex, no connections. Could be location, could be him. I do know he's had several girlfriends for years at a time since I've known him (14 years old?).

IMO - your mid 20s is too young to deprive yourself of the real life experience of going out and meeting someone. There is a lot of connection when you make that first pass in person. I can understand the necessity for someone who is in their mid thirties, as the "crazy" pool generally thins, or your wisdom makes them easier to spot, who knows :)
 
Chainer said:
IMO - your mid 20s is too young to deprive yourself of the real life experience of going out and meeting someone. There is a lot of connection when you make that first pass in person. I can understand the necessity for someone who is in their mid thirties, as the "crazy" pool generally thins, or your wisdom makes them easier to spot, who knows :)
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I don't know man, I'm 25 and if I were single I'd probably be trying to find someone a little harder than when I was 21. And I feel like it gets harder to find the one the older you get. I wouldn't want to be married by 25 but I'm definitely thankful I have someone whom I live with and am very comfortable with. And I feel like I'm taking it easy, as many people I know that are my age are married and have a kid or two already.

I've never tried any dating sites so I can't help you OP, best of luck though.
BL is the only dating site that ever worked for me.
 
Laika said:
I don't know man, I'm 25 and if I were single I'd probably be trying to find someone a little harder than when I was 21. And I feel like it gets harder to find the one the older you get. I
Click to expand...

Ah I didn't mean to imply anything of the sort - I got out of a 6 year relationship last year, so I know how it feels to have someone stable in your life living with you and then lose that. I meant that the experiences of meeting someone naturally just seems to me the best possible of routes - I don't like the idea of a website playing match maker for me. I'd feel it would project less confidence, and I'm pretty satisfied with my ability to socialize with women in a number of locations (bars, clubs, workplace, college classes, gym, neighbors, etc etc).

From what I've seen, my buddy has not had positive results from Match or eHarm, but he has gotten DATES. If you're looking for that kind of thing, dates on dates that go nowhere, I think that's probably the higher statistical chance for a younger age.

Like ya said, the older you get, the more you want someone to commit to you and you to her. I think that's natural. Perhaps I feel an older age is more appropriate because of the notion of the "biological clock" ticking, and pressure from social interactions (my mother used to tell me "find a nice woman and marry her" - gah!).

But what do I know? I've never used an online dating site, mostly because the people I do know that use them at this age are socially a bit more awkward. I also know a few females who use the service for a free meal :|
 
MyFinalRest said:
I still think that the net is really not the place for dating. You can easily wind up the victim of lulz on many of the open-ended sites. If you are serious, I recommend eharmony or another serious site that demands paying customers.
Click to expand...

Before Myspace was auctioned off and before Facebook became trendy, the net used to be the bomb-diggity for meeting up with people.
Bluelight pre-2005 was a common place for dating hookups (it's the truth)

But now the net is filled with profit mongrels and scam artists that would do anything to steal your identity. It's really difficult to really trust anyone anymore online, only because the net is now less anonymous than it was before and the difficulty of detecting spam has greatly increased. I partially blame facebook, big brother, and the bush administration for this.
 
My ex met a couple girls through myspace. His thing was meeting a girl and then asking for their myspace. I know he met some girls after me. I just see myspace as such a cheesy place. It's going the way of old yahoo and aol sites. Yuck.
 
Tech Kinetics said:
Before Myspace was auctioned off and before Facebook became trendy, the net used to be the bomb-diggity for meeting up with people.
Bluelight pre-2005 was a common place for dating hookups (it's the truth)

But now the net is filled with profit mongrels and scam artists that would do anything to steal your identity. It's really difficult to really trust anyone anymore online, only because the net is now less anonymous than it was before and the difficulty of detecting spam has greatly increased. I partially blame facebook, big brother, and the bush administration for this.
Click to expand...

I did use myspace to meet a few girls - I confess haha, but I really didn't like meeting through proxy like that.

But, online shit is too freaky, shit has changed. People get killed from answering craigslist ads. I still can't believe people are just posting the hell out of photos of themselves even on this site.

Really, there is just no good RL social opportunities to meet people like there used to be too. Especially if you live in a small town.

All the cool people I meet on BL are chillin' about 1000 miles away on the West Coast. You fuckers!!! I want to live it up WC style too!
 
The only thing that's cool about meeting people online first is that you can just chat without the pressure of a date. The 2 guys I've met after knowing them online wasn't from a dating site, but we became online buddies first, then met, then came they sehxy. lol It was like being friends with someone first and getting to know them without any pressure to get dressed up, go out on a date, talk about things, make sure you do NOT talk about other things, etc. The guy I'm with now went through a breakup at the same time I did, so we just started chatting with each other. Then, we started chatting about life and I mentioned that I wanted to rent out my room. He came down here, and it bloomed into something more. It probably wasn't the best way to meet someone. He could have been a psycho killer. He is a lawyer, so the naive part in me just thought "oh, lawyers aren't psycho killers." lol
 
I think Facebook is infinitely better for such things. On dating sites people get to present themselves how they choose to be seen. On Facebook it's much harder to mask what type of person you really are. You can get a pretty accurate picture of the type of person someone is by looking at how they interact with family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, etc. and if they don't really have any of those on their Facebook, they're probably a recluse axe murderer.

Facebook even gives you a better opening to new people. "Hey, I'm not sure we've met but you showed up in my "People you may know" section. It looks like we're both friends with XXXXXXXX."
 
Lysis said:
The only thing that's cool about meeting people online first is that you can just chat without the pressure of a date. The 2 guys I've met after knowing them online wasn't from a dating site, but we became online buddies first, then met, then came they sehxy. lol It was like being friends with someone first and getting to know them without any pressure to get dressed up, go out on a date, talk about things, make sure you do NOT talk about other things, etc. The guy I'm with now went through a breakup at the same time I did, so we just started chatting with each other. Then, we started chatting about life and I mentioned that I wanted to rent out my room. He came down here, and it bloomed into something more. It probably wasn't the best way to meet someone. He could have been a psycho killer. He is a lawyer, so the naive part in me just thought "oh, lawyers aren't psycho killers." lol
Click to expand...

Yeah, I feel you on the RL dating pressure thing. My ideal RL date would really just be inviting a girl over to sit on the porch, have a cup of tea or something and simply relax and spend the time talking. Fuck all that dressing up and going somewhere fancy and stuffing your face. It does make too much pressure, and the rules about what "you can and can't talk about on dates" get on my nerves too.
So, if you don't mind me asking, what site did you chat on?
Also, how far away did you live from each other? I do live in a pretty off the "beaten path" kind of place and nobody I meet online lives near me. I think meeting online still has the RL drawback of distance too.
 
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